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May 14, 2006
An ADHD LIfe: Being at Loose End
There is a saying, I think, that goes like this, “There is nothing that focuses a man’s mind as much as knowing he is going to be hanged in the morning.” Long ago I had a near-death experience (more about that in a future blog). This was before I knew about my ADHD. What I remember most clearly about that incident was how intense and alive and focused I felt in those thirty or so anxiety-laden minutes.
How different from that is my daily existence! When I don’t have something that is exciting in my life--something that is totally gravitating-- my life flounders.
It has been difficult this past week to work in the office at ADD Resources (http://www.addresources.org) as there in no enticing project on the horizon right now. There is only the day-to-day grind of answering phone calls and mail, entering expenditures into Quickbooks and reconciling the bank statement, calling around to locate an auditorium that will seat 200 people and is available on Friday, October 13, dealing with poorly made CDs from our last conference, etc.
I get into the office and feel so undirected. I am at loose ends. Even when I have made a list, I end up feeling like the time went by and nothing was accomplished. Perhaps I completed some of the boring tasks, but I still feel like nothing was accomplished. I think that is because, with an ADHD brain, unless the accomplishment is significant, something that makes an impression and excites us, it goes unrecognized as an achievement. I guess I will have to learn to pat myself on the back completing the small stuff, recognizing, that for me, completing boring, mundane tasks is not small stuff. It’s a real achievement.
Posted by addresources at May 14, 2006 08:48 AM
Comments
I had the same thoughts last night and probably the same day - blah..I would add one thing - once you have achieved something like a huge project being a success then then next accomplishment has to be bigger and at some point you top out - I already feel like I have.
Posted by: Chris at May 15, 2006 04:28 PM
I hope you don't mind but i added you to my blog spaces list..I have a child who is ADHD and i find your blog not only interesting but informative..
have a good day
Cindy
Posted by: Cindy at June 1, 2006 09:47 AM
I was undiagnosed my whole life up untill about a month ago, wich is better than some get because i'm 16. However, before i was diagnosed, i often got very, VERY bored and depressed at school, because there was nothing *big* to do except assignments and homework, wich i, of course, sucked at.
SO i started to play games at school. These were not really concious choices, i am only realising this looking back. Not hide and seek or anything like that, but i'd make up a game, set the rules for myself, and play untill i won.
For example, i would play "survive the day", where i'd get very little sleep the night before, drink tonns of coffee in the morning, and not work in any of my classes, and see if i could 'survive'.
Now, of course, this wasn't very helpful to my school work, but you can make any variation of games to play that are very productive. Just make SURE that you're going to be either entertained or challenged whilst playing, or else you'll just give it up.
Why don't you try playing "Being generous"? Or "Clean day" or something? Maybe you could play "being ambitious" for a week, and see how that treat's ya? Well, good luck!
Posted by: Rhys at August 9, 2006 10:36 PM
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