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May 14, 2006
An ADHD LIfe: Being at Loose End
There is a saying, I think, that goes like this, “There is nothing that focuses a man’s mind as much as knowing he is going to be hanged in the morning.” Long ago I had a near-death experience (more about that in a future blog). This was before I knew about my ADHD. What I remember most clearly about that incident was how intense and alive and focused I felt in those thirty or so anxiety-laden minutes.
How different from that is my daily existence! When I don’t have something that is exciting in my life--something that is totally gravitating-- my life flounders.
It has been difficult this past week to work in the office at ADD Resources (http://www.addresources.org) as there in no enticing project on the horizon right now. There is only the day-to-day grind of answering phone calls and mail, entering expenditures into Quickbooks and reconciling the bank statement, calling around to locate an auditorium that will seat 200 people and is available on Friday, October 13, dealing with poorly made CDs from our last conference, etc.
I get into the office and feel so undirected. I am at loose ends. Even when I have made a list, I end up feeling like the time went by and nothing was accomplished. Perhaps I completed some of the boring tasks, but I still feel like nothing was accomplished. I think that is because, with an ADHD brain, unless the accomplishment is significant, something that makes an impression and excites us, it goes unrecognized as an achievement. I guess I will have to learn to pat myself on the back completing the small stuff, recognizing, that for me, completing boring, mundane tasks is not small stuff. It’s a real achievement.
Posted by addresources at 08:48 AM | Comments (3)