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June 04, 2006
An ADHD Life: Being a Bulldog
ADHD is funny. Sometimes people with ADHD can be so intensely interested in something; and then the next day totally forget how committed they were. Years ago, before the family ADHD diagnosis, I had created an elaborate behavior modification program for our two younger sons under the guidance of a child therapist. I was so proud of it, yet weeks later, when the therapist asked me how it was going, I didn’t know what he was talking about! The program had been working well. I couldn’t remember why we weren’t doing it anymore! One day I woke up and forgot about it--—and it was forgotten from then on!
Dr. Ratey says a major obstacle for people with ADHD improving is their inability to maintain focus. They want to achieve a goal, but, like my example, above, they lose their focus.
However, I know, there are times when people with ADHD can be like bulldogs. When their gander is up, they can hang onto an issue, not letting go or backing down until it is satisfactorily resolved. We can be persistent and unrelenting when a principle is at stake or it is a question of honor.
Recently, I let my bulldog out. We had our spring ADHD conference recorded for the first time. In spite of checking references, we made a bad choice in the recording company.
Three months after the conference we still hadn’t received saleable CDs and DVDs. The owner thought saying, “This wasn’t our finest hour.” was enough. Wrong! I was ready to write the Better Business Bureau, the Attorney General, the Chamber of Commerce. I wasn’t going to pay until the order was right!
For me being riled up can be as focusing as being excited about something new and different. As much as I dislike confrontation, even polite confrontation, I stuck with it. In the end, my bull-doggedness paid off. We got the material, admittedly three months late, but we also got a 25% reduction in the fee.
Cynthia Hammer, MSW, Director
ADD Resources
www.addresources.org
Posted by addresources at June 4, 2006 09:34 AM
Comments
I have the same problem. I very much dislike personal conflict and arguments with my friends and family. However, if it's about a political or justice issue, i will sink my teeth in and not let go untill it is done RIGHT.
This can be a gift, as you have more power with dealing with beurocracies and injustice, but be careful not to let yourself get stuck into anything that is going to hurt or upset the people around you.
Posted by: Rhys at August 9, 2006 10:43 PM
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