Posted: 16 May 2008 at 7:50am | IP Logged

Thanks to Nick682's post (really inspiring) and other positive and thought-provoking posts.

I posted earlier on this board asking for suggestions for my teen son (ADHD).  I think it would be a good idea to let him read the posts of this thread to see how others, including men, deal with challenges presented. 

Posted: 16 May 2008 at 8:00am | IP Logged

I just had an experience I'd like to share....

Yesterday I took adderall for the first time in months. I had a very productive morning and even cleaned my apartment (very rare occurrence). Anyways, while on adderall I scrolled through this thread and I made that remark (see previous page) that the military guy had put jay in his place and that his initial thoughts were garbage and belonged in the toilet.

So now today, I am unmedicated (as usual), and I go back and read the entire thread. And today I am far less judgmental of jay's original comments; it seems to me while reading it today that his comments actually come from a good place and that he was trying to say that ADDers have struggles but also strengths... nothin wrong with that.

And so I feel like my harsh comments yesterday were overly aggressive, critical, and out-of-character for me.

Anyways just wanted to share that

Posted: 16 May 2008 at 8:33am | IP Logged

Sometimes.

I

feel

dumb

when

I'm

Unmedicated.

Or maybe, it's others that make me feel that way, and I'm just feel normal...

Posted: 18 May 2008 at 3:46pm | IP Logged

I would guess that most people with ADHD or those close to them might become quite frustrated with negative, ignorant, and derogatory comments.  As the parent of a guy with ADHD, I know I do! 

Just maybe those who make negative comments that are not constructive are truly ignorant of the implications of/nature of ADHD.  So, my question is, what is their excuse  for not becoming educated about it before they give an opinion?

Posted: 23 May 2008 at 7:30am | IP Logged

balentien_5 wrote: Hi is it alright to be treated as a cripple becuz i've got adhd? Seriously its irritating becuz my family isn't taking me seriously. and its kinda pissing me off!!! It feels like the more u try to get rid of that "excuse  feeling" the more they tell you that your handycapped and that u can't take control  of your own life yet....

Hang in there...the people who treat you that way think they are doing a good thing, but they have NO idea! It takes a while for everyone who cares about you to come to grips and they have to learn more about ADHD and what it means.

I am an adult with ADHD and I am a school teacher....most of the time I am well in control of my own life....BUT there are times when I am feeling overwhelmed and starting to lose control... that it when is good to have family and friends who understand that I need someone to share my load from time to time to help me regain control...whether its just taking over some of my household chores so that I can focus on getting organized at school or just letting me VENT about my frustrations without being told I am being irrational or pathetic. I have made it clear to my loved ones that I do need their support...but I do NOT need OR want their pity!

I have also made it clear to my son who has ADHD that he should never expect or accept pity, but should be willing to accept support when he truly feels he needs it.

I hope that made sense!

Posted: 22 October 2009 at 11:03pm | IP Logged

I just registered to bump this. Nick682 is a badass. I nominate him for the ADHD Medal of Honor.

Posted: 25 October 2009 at 10:15pm | IP Logged

if you want a challenge?

go work at a mental health facility!

give it a year!

like a tour of duty to help other ADDers whom truly cant cope in society and have to be locked in.  Using only your mind!

If I could just step up just by thinking .

well - i wouldnt be an ADDer

manning up  is not self medicating

manning up is not blaming others for your problems

manning up is realizing that not everyone is the same , but to be tolerant of others faults and difficulties. that some people have coped with it for 90 years  and others only 6 , there are stages of understanding . IMHO early intervention by parents is paramount to coping in a (NTer) world. I simply just can't relate to (Normal Thinkers) all the time.

the reason disorders  get a lable is too help identify the symptoms.

those whom have known all along may not have to make big life changing decisions.

some of us only discover it  in our sixties . as we look back on our lives in hind sight  easily seeing  the impact adhd has made like a tornado through our lives. suking up success after success.  we eventually start believe we simple cant succeed and stop trying altogether spiraling into depression and social ridicule.

everyday is new day

go back and focus on the basic coping skills.

--- 

this is what ive been focussing on lately at this support site:

http://www.adhdnews.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=33894& PN=1

quote

"Figuring out the right medication and dosage can be tricky, which is why people should work with someone experienced with ADD, Hallowell says (most likely not your primary care physician).

Working with a therapist or an ADD coach is another powerful piece of the puzzle. The first thing that people have to learn to do is to break the cycle of overwhelm. “The piece that’s often missing is planning. It sounds obvious, but for people with ADD, it’s a skill that doesn’t come naturally. Neither do things like learning how to delegate, how to manage challenges, how to survive boredom, how to stay on track with tasks -- but they can be learned. Once people with ADD figure out things like time management and reasonable to-do lists, their distraction can be transformed into creativity and productivity “When your challenges are managed, you can really thrive,”  Hallowell says I have ADD,and I wouldn’t trade it for the world."

1.  diagnosis
2. "Figuring out the right medication and dosage ,(most likely not your primary care physician).
3. therapist or an ADD coach 
4. break the cycle of overwhelm.
5. planning.
6. delegate
7. manage challenges -
8. survive boredom
9. time management
10. reasonable to-do lists

Posted: 10 November 2009 at 10:19pm | IP Logged

youngr27
Newbie

Joined: 09 August 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 14  Posted: 28 February 2008 at 10:40pm | IP Logged    

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jay34219 wrote:
Too often it seems like people on these forums are using ADHD as an excuse of why they arent able to accomplish things. Its pretty low to say or think "I'm incapable of achieving this or that because I have ADD/ADHD". Thats the biggest load of crap you can sell yourself. If you diligently work at whatever it is you want to accomplish in due time you will achieve it. Along with the weaknesses we may have, we have strengths that shine just as bright. It may take longer to achieve or you may have to take a different route but I can assure you if you work hard and stop using ADHD as an excuse you will succeed. We have a tendency to be lazy and complacent   but as grown man we need to "man up" and leave those childish ways behind. We've all experianced hardships that the general population hasnt, and that should make us stronger in the long run. So I urge to take hold of your strengths and do your best to minimize your weaknesses however you can.
 
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What's your story?  I never tell anyone about my ADD unless it's my doctor, psychologist, this site, or my sister......it seems as though people, in Canada especially, don't believe in ADD/ADHD and think it's just a lame excuse for your f**k ups.  I haven't become stronger for having ADD........it's f**ked up my life!!!!  I've never been more miserable and depressed in my life than I've been over these last few days because I'm jobless once again, living at my parents, with no car, a horrible work history and I'm in debt $30,000....Can you please tell me how ADD can make me stronger????? 

I certianly feel your pain, I know that sounds so lame, maybe if...(clears throat..and begins to speak again, sounding strangley like Bill Clinton)"I feel your pain". Sorry, couldn't help it, but many people , especially  if you have ADHD, is that we do feel things more intensley. I am so sorry because I really do know how that feels, to be so misunderstood, to know that your smart enough, and you can get your job done, but not in a way that your bosses want. And what they never see or appreciated is how much harder you have to work to reach your deadlines. And then to add Insult to Injury, your supervisors think thst your just just Lazy , and a screw up.  ADHD is the highest of highs, and the lowest of lowes. Why is there no middle ground? I can't answer that. In fact there is a lot I can't answer. I graduated from college in 2000, and since then I have been through 13 jobs. My wife and I got married 7 years ago, and we actually split up for a year. Its 10 years later and I make $0.12 more an hour. Granted, I work for the highway department, so job security is a lot better, but the governor has frozen our raises for 2 years, at a time when I could really use one. I still have trouble completing task at work sometimes,and I am still in trouble financially, but you can't give up. Is ADHD a blessing? No way, it is a freaking curse. But when you feel you can't go on, try this; just keep putting one foot in frount of the other. Even if you have to pick up your leg to make your foot go forward, you just keep going. Use your frustration,write them down in a notebook and it can fuel a fire in you. Take all the dissappoints, and put them in , I guess an imanginary furnace, and use those feelings as fuel for that furnace. Every time I have a setback, or get seriously  depressed, I pull that notebook out and I read over each of those entries, and it renews that fire, and stokes it, and reignites the embers. Once that happens, it will consume me again. Look, 1st take a good hard look at yourself. Then decide what you want in life. Find your dream, write it down, visualize it, and most importantly believe in it. And when life takes another swing at you, take it. Take it like Brad Pitt and Ed Norton in Fight Club. Let those setbacks settle in and scar up. It's like geology, the study of pressure and time. That is how a diamond forms, pressure and time. Let it hit you, and keep on comming, and as the pressure builds, and time passes, your shell around you becomes harder,and harder, and eventually that shell will become diamond hard. I guess what I am trying to say is screw the rest of the world, they are either against you or they are oblivious to you. Then there are fellow travellers like me you find on this sight. Send me an e-mail(afdmcwinc@yahoo.com) and let me know how your doing.
 Later, Adam