Posted: 31 July 2005 at 4:10am | IP Logged

Joyous:

I also gave up an executive level position, last October.  I even took it a step further and now only work part time.  Needless to say the salary cut was extensive and some thought I was crazy-but they were WRONG!  While I still have to pay some attention to detail the job I'm doing FITS MY ABILITIES. For the most part when I go home, I leave the work AT WORK, it's wonderful!

I hope that you are still hanging in there.  Where you are at may be the pivitol point for a great future.  And to me great involves the simple things.  Peace when you are at home.  Thoughts that don't run out of control.  Finishing small tasks and taking joy from them, feeling the chaos slip away and a gentle life assert itself instead.

Best of luck, and we're all here for you!

Ms Glitz

Posted: 31 July 2005 at 8:40am | IP Logged

Thanks Ms Glitz,

I am feeling much better today. Bought a book on Adult ADD and read it....I guess there is a grief process upon learning the diagnosis, and I find myself passing through it rather quickly....partly because I had a similar experience when diagnosed with depression, and partly because of what I've learned in my 12-step program.

Stay in today. Trust in a Higher Power. Let go.....

While I feel that I've wasted the last 20 years professionally (along with the MBA), I kind of feel let-off-the-hook, no longer feeling compelled to fit, as a round peg, into a square hole.

How exactly did you go about finding this job that fits so well? That is my next step. I've read that many of 'us' tend to research things kind of excessively. So this is my next project.

It's good to have this forum, and I thank you all.

Joyce

Posted: 31 July 2005 at 11:35am | IP Logged

Hi all.  Just wanted to thank you for sharing your stuff here.  I sort of left a big part of what got me to where I am today, thank you for reminding me Joyce.  Through all the meds and methods, I believe that my membership in Alcoholics Anonymous has been my only constant saving grace, for it has been that admission of powerlessness and unmanageability, accepting help and direction, and the deep soul-searching of the 4th step that dredged up the things that solidified and coumpounded my troubles, my defective character.  I found out how deadly the things that my way of thinking really are like resentment, self pity, fear...things that no amount of medication can prevent, and those feelings not only torment me mentally, but physically as well. 

I am 4 years sober on 4-15-01 and I go to a meeting every day still.  I also have a recovery site on msn if anyone is interested.

http://groups.msn.com/kissKEEPITSIMPLESTUPID

ALSO- for fun-

 http://groups.msn.com/piratehookcomicsrecoverycomics

ps- I still smoke a little pot, but hey, I ain't no saint

Posted: 31 July 2005 at 12:40pm | IP Logged

Hey Kid Rock!

I've got 9 months sober by the grace of my Higher Power and the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.

My research so far indicates that people with ADD/ADHD have a higher incidence of substance abuse than the 'normal' population. I now know that I was medicating a whole lot more than the depression. I even wonder now if my depression was more a by-product of ADD than simply depression. All I know is that, at the end of the day, vodka helped me forget how inadequate I felt at work, and how scattered and unfocused I was at home.

Either way, what I've learned in AA is helping me deal with both the depression and the ADD, as well as the alcoholism. Self-pity, fear, and (self)blame are my shortcomings. While they have not been totally lifted from me, I no longer feel like I carry them alone.

I like your website....!

Posted: 31 July 2005 at 8:05pm | IP Logged

My DD didn't get diagnosed until she was 6.  I was pretty shure by the time she was 3.  Okay I could probably tell by the time she was 31/2 months.  She had started rolling to move from place to place.  Most children don't roll both ways that young.  She didn't want to miss anything. 

She is on Stratera and adderal.  This seems to work well at this time.  I guess from some of the other posts it could change.  She also is seeing a Psychiatrist and a counselor.  I think that is helping also.  I think she gets it from her father.  He fits most of the criteria for an undignosed ADD.   I worry because my mother has Schizophrenia.  I hope nothing else is going on.  She seems okay on her meds.  I just hope nothing else pops up.

Posted: 02 August 2005 at 10:12am | IP Logged

Ferramentum wrote: Thank you all for the kind words..It is nice to know that I'm not the only one who can't stand being around other people. I actually started to think that I was just being snobby.But I really appreciate your feedback. It's nice to know that you have actually taken the time to read my info....

I started laughing when I read your post!!! I am the same way....I am surprised I still have friends...When they call....I let the answer machine pick it up...I couldn't even get a sympathy card out when my good friend's mother-in-law died....should have gone to the funeral......I meant to....but didn't want to...Actually, I think I am a snob along with my medical problems..  hopefully, things will be looking up soon for me....... CAS

Posted: 02 August 2005 at 4:56pm | IP Logged

Cas and Ferramentum,

My dd is real outgoing sometimes but when she gets to school she can be real standoffish.  Is this normal?  She doesn't have any problems  when she first meets people.   She seems to not be able to stay around people on a long term basis.  Are you always wanting to stay away from people? 

Posted: 02 August 2005 at 5:04pm | IP Logged

ALLYCAT----i KNOW THIS IS LATE--But I am new to all of this as well---I must ask---do you take meds???

I am the opposit from you conplewtely---I was releaved when I found out-----I was to the point of hoplessness---so many failures---such a waste of life----Now that I know---I have hope!!! The meds are really picking me up ----I feel I have a new life to live---and it is never too late to succeed-----I am a housewife---would not have been had I not all those quitting everything problems-(-not to say there is anything wrong with being a house wife--except when it is because you can not focus your attention on one thing long enough to be anything else---)

Anyhow still going to stay home because I have a little one---but I am taking an interest in art again----I have been sculpting one of a kind art dolls and such and selling them---not huge profit but it is something I seem to be good at---also I am doing what it takes to get better and to compete in doll shows----And I am working out--(love it)

Posted: 02 August 2005 at 5:29pm | IP Logged

I posted an "Intro" thread with a very brief introduction, but I thought I would try to put the whole thing together to see what the "experts" have to say.

Ok.  Not sure where to start...well, I will say that what I remember of school was boredom.  I also remember being in the gifted program, but it was also mostly boring.   High school was even worse, and I had extreme difficulty with sleeping, mostly because my mind would race....and race...and just never stop.  Though I do recall moments (they still happen) where I sorta "check out" as it were...where the noise of the rushing of the thoughts ceases...hmmm...not sure what that is all about....anyway...

I joined the Navy just after high school...mostly to get out of my hometown, but al in part becasue my dad was a military man, and because I didn't know what else to do with myself.  The idea of more school at the time made me want to hurl.  I did my four years, and got honorably discharged.  I was always in just enough trouble to not do very well in the Navy...I thought too much. 

After the Navy I worked a little here, and a little there.  Mostly construction jobs, with the occasional cashier at a conveniece store thrown in for good measure.  At some point, around 1990, I decided I was working too hard and should go to school.  I was also careening from one relationship to another, and in part my search for more education was initially prompted by my desire to retain the affections of a certain young woman.  (More education = more money = woman stays)  Didn't work...she broke up with me shortly after...  Which led to a lot of long lonely nights in a nice little hole in the wall bar...which wsn't really good for me...but hey, I was deeply wounded.

I then decided to jump head long into the college thing, and to go full time.  I somehow had gotten hooked into the vocational rehabilitation thing, and they required a psych eval.  I was diagnosed as being clinically depressed, and put on a combo of Lithium and Wellbutrin.  And off to college I went...in KY...about 1000 miles from home...at a small private liberal arts college. (Sorry, I keep getting off topic--and distracted by other browser windows--but you didn't know that...)

That lasted for two years.  Both the college and the medication.  I then wasted the next year or so of my life in utter abandon...living hand to mouth...partying every night...lots and lots a debauchery going on...it was certainly fun...for a while anyway...

With an invitation from my parents to move back home, and somehow a girlfriend, I went back to college in my hometown.  And for the next year, year and a half, I was the most focused person on the face of the planet.  I did everything right, exactly when I was supposed to do it.  I earned my AA and went on to get my BA.  In the year I was at the upper level institution finishing my degree, the focus started to slip...and I started to get bored...again...with pretty much everything.

Anyway, after graduation, the GF and I (yes, the same one--and for some reason she is still with me today) moved so that she could finish her MFA.  When she finished her MFA, I went to get mine (looking for something exciting to do...).  So we moved halfway across the country to KC, MO.  I got my MFA, and we then moved back to KY (not the homestate for either of us, but we knew people).  Another 4 years pass, I change jobs once in that period, and I am really getting the itch to get out of there...4 years in one place is WAY too long.

I applied for, got offered, and accepted a job in my home state, FL.  Which is where we are now.  I am a visiting professor of theatre technology.  I am preparing to start my second year as such.  I doubt right now I will make a third.  I am kinda really getting bored with the whole theatre thing...it has lost some of its luster.  So, I am looking for the next big thing in my life.  Don't know what it will be...I certainly can't decide...I never really decide anything...it just sorta happens...

I do hope that I do get something out of the current treatment and counseling.  At least it is covered by the insurance.  There is somethng that I keep intending to write, but I only think of it when i am in the middle of typing something else, and when I finish typing, the thought is long gone and will not come back....until it has looped its way back around through the maze of my mind once again.  Anyway, life has been ok, I guess, but I feel it could have been better, and though I am a college professor (which is very strange to me) I feel as though I am a fraud, and that I somehow do not deserve to be where I am...that I somehow faked my way here.  I honestly do not remember the last time I gave my full undivided attention to anything.  I usually pay just enough attention to catch the jist, and then fill in the rest myself.

I hate waiting for the other people to finish, or for me to finish reading...or whatever...I just hate waiting for things to happen...it doesn't happen quickly enough...why can't the world be like what's in my head?   Anyway, not that it matters, but I thought  would mention the following things: I am left-handed, adopted, work in a creative field, I recently quit smoking (and my "symptoms" got much worse), and I think I could be doing so much better...

Well, that should be more than enough...right?  I have no idea how long it is.  I started typing this at 7:15, and it is now 8:30...but I did get distracted in the middle a few times...Peace out.