Where do I turn now? | ADHD Information
[QUOTE=Let It Bleed]David,
... Your humor is refreshing to the board. [/QUOTE] Ah, shucks.
I was hoping it was refreshing to the bored.
LIB, I can so relate to being on the verge with a job. Ugh. It will all work out somehow...for you and me both.
bb
LetItBleed (and others)-
Similar to you, I post to this forum (NOW) just realizing what has plagued me my whole life. I remember joking every now & then (over the last 20 yrs) how I might have ADD. However, now that I know more about it, I can see that I am actually a poster child for it...(like so many others here).and it is not a joking matter.
I am in my late 30's, and I have spent half my life TRYING TO FOCUS on getting things done..as opposed to actually getting things done. As a super-motivated and ambitious person, realizing this in hindsight is quite angering and frustrating with the possibility of being relieving....IF impending medication does some good. (1st doctor appt scheduled & coming soon)
I can now see how absolutely DEVASTATING this ailment (-for the most part-)..has been to my existence and capability to thrive in society. For one..(and not to be self-aggrandizing or self-critical)..but I have always been befuddled as to how someone as mathematically and creatively talented as I (and also very motivated and ambitious). could be such a pathetic underachiever in life..someone who DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE after excelling sporadically for 4 years...and then struggled to stay in every job since..and today lives as a tenant in a small basement of someone else's house.
Like it even needs to be said..here are the symptons I have experienced throughout life:
-amusing, but frustrating absent-mindedness
-a bizarrely bad memory - sometimes life is like the blur seen from that a moving train - looking straight out the window...barely seeing a past or a future..
-no ability to multi-task AT ALL - it's all or nothing..and the ALL is always on what I am INTERESTED in.not necessarily on what I should be focusing on - if a hobby grabs my interest..I can really only think about that at work..unless the current work project is extremely compelling which normally IS NOT the case
-feeling 'on the virge' at work. WOW..that is exactly how I have felt for the last 15 years...always wondering...'Is it possible that I am really as unproductive as I seem to be?'...'Do others think like this?' - Rarely having any confidence that I wil be able to get done what I need to get done.
-hyperfocus - for years I thought it was mania..my ability to obsess over something or mentally process with great intensity. This had a few benefits.. ability to conceive and build large personal web projects...and the ability to humor write..which I have used with substantial success in woo'ing luscious ladies through dating sites. (ha-ha!). Hey..I know that's overshare..but I am trying to be POSITIVE here! :LOL: However. the hyperfocus, ultimately, can totally distract one from what one should REALLY be doing in life.
-poor administration - ATROCIOUS!! taxes, bills, car reg, appts..hardly every get around to them.. but thats not it.!..I have been 'too busy' (in my own mind) to buy a bed!! I haven't slept in my own bed for 4 years!! Normally, I just sleep on the floor. (and my lady friends put up with it..which may give some insight into my proficiency level in other areas)
uh..that was joke................maybe. :LOL:
-time conception - ( between it and my absentmindedness where I misplace things) I am a master at snatching LATE from the jaws of EARLY.
Anyhow, I only hope I wont' lose my ambition & creative vision/passion when under medication. However, I have no hesitance about trying it, since I can now see how I have little to no chance of reaching my potential in my current state. Also, it seems KNOWING ABOUT IT..might only make it worse. For one, I just HATE inefficiency in process...and I can now see that until things are rectified, my mind is a horribly inefficient mechanism..due to the lost thoughts and the train of thought I must spend half my mental energy trying to maintain.
That said, I looking forward to tackling (and overcoming) this obstacle.
Best of luck to all,
-Fr33W1ll
Let it Bleed,
I SWEAR, I mean SWEAR I am an extreme ADHD case. I related to every single piece of your post.
I am late to everything and people are CONSTANTLY angry with me. I hate it and I also feel barely employable.
The Ritalin, Adderall, or Dexedrine has been the best thing that ever
happened to me--I can THINK straight. I love, love, love it. The
biggest side effect has been that my skin has broken out pretty badly.
I never even had a blemish before.
Hope you get a chance to try it and hope it helps you.
bbird
David,
Once again, thanks for the excellent advice. Knowledge really is power, and you seem to have a lot of it. Your humor is refreshing to the board. I have a referal to see a neuropsychatrist, I'm hoping he's the right kind of guy to treat this.
I remain on the verge of losing my job. On top of having ADD, I'm very high-strung, stressed, perhaps even depressed over the entire situation, so functioning in a hospital isn't going over too well with me. I have the week off.
Bluebird, I think the biggest relief of all this was knowing I'm not alone. The "You know your ADD is bad when..." had me rolling on the floor. I had probably done 98% of the things posted in that thread, multiple times! I posted some more of my nutty symptoms in the brain fog thread. Looks like I'm here to stay.capd was found with our son by the school the problem it's still considered the same as add/adhd to schools. Retarded if you ask me is that people with Capd their brain doesn't catch all being herd. We set new speech goals. We were also given fun games for home. oldmember38595.4153356481I came to this forum at the end of my rope. I found the "You know your ADD is bad when...." and by page 7 was almost in tears, from the humor and the joy of finally knowing what is wrong with me. I was convinced I had lost my mind. My entire life I struggled. I sat through highschool, and in those four years, never did one assignment. My family always told me I had no common sense. I misplace things as I use them. I was convinced I was insane. I had a brain MRI today. Then I found that thread and was able to relate to every single post in it. I investiagated ADD symptoms and realized that this is what has plauged me my entire life. I'm convinced I have "severe" ADD. I started a job last week, walked out on it this week. From the absentmindness, to the lack of motivation, to the indecisiveness, to the distractions. The ADD itself prevented me from seeking help and getting diagnosed all these years. I always intended to go to the doctor, but instead continued living in my own little world of waking up, eating, and spending the rest of the day unproductive, searching for everything I misplace through-out the day, being indecisive, impulsive, distracted. My ADD is to the point that I'm really not sure I CAN work right now. Is that believeable? Where do I turn now? I won't have a problem getting diagnosed. I've always been told I'm a textbook case of it by medical profesionals but never paid them any attention, because I never realized how DEBILITATING this condition could be, so I went on wondering what was really wrong with me. Now, after all these years, I know. Does the medication really help? Does it help everybody? Are their multiple treatments? Does anyone here have what they would consider a more extreme case of ADD? I need help.There is a term in medicine that
describes a condition where a single individual is afflicted with more
than one disease, disorder, dis-illness, or condition concurrently.
That term is 'co-morbid'. Do not forget this concept.
I suffered (but do so no longer, they just think I suffer; or else it's
those around me that suffer) for several years through mis-diagnoses
b/c I was co-morbid, and litteraly went through ~15 medicinal regimes.
I just got switched again, b/c of some serious complications from one
of the ingredients in my neurotransmitter soup, to which I'd been
switched b/c a great one had been pulled from the market.
Psychological diagnoses are not like physicals, where a blood work-up
or an MRI can illuminate a condition. You know your body, head, and
mind better than anyone else in the world. You will become an expert in
yourself. So, learn the symptomology, the terminology, and the
attitudes of players in this industry, and Trust Your Instincts. It is
your chemicalbiology they're treating, after all.
ADD and ADHD has only very recently been understood, much less
accepted, as medical history goes, in children, not to mention adults.
In other words, demand your rights.
With that preamble aside...
Does the medication really help? Yes.
Absolutely. Affirmitavely. Agree. Concur. Assent. Withoubt a doubt. If
they get it right. My suggestion, don't start w/ Strattera, unless they
absolutely w/o a doubt convince you otherwise. Stims work best for
severe AD, but Strat is a new compound that is not a stim, and what
with all the hype over drug abuse, prescription originators are afraid
of malpractice suits, therefore elect something 'safer'. Stims to ADs
are NOT like stims to normals. Stims to ADs are safer, b/c they work
better. When prescribed correctly (timing, active ingredient, dosage,
release mechanism, co-treatments, etc.). There are also non-med coping
mechanisms developed over millenia, which are being published recently.
Some of the links below will introduce you to them.
Does it help everybody? Yes. I
think so. Maybe. Ask your doctor. And trust your instincts. You have a
good mind, just need the tools (or the 'seeing eye' glasses). Is a
nearsighted person stupid, or will glasses correct their challenge? Is
a hearing impaired person stupid, or will a hearing aid aid their
challenge?
Are their
multiple treatments? Hey, this is ADHD, remember? 'Many projects going at once, trouble following through'. {Driven to Distraction; Hallowell & Ratey, M.D.s; Simon & Schuster; New York, NY; 1994 ISBN0-684--80128-0; Chapter 3 'Sequence Ravelled Out Of Sound'; pg 73 'Suggested Diagnostic Criteria For Attention Deficit Disorder In Adults'; Item A.4. 'Many projects going simultaneously; trouble with follow-through.'}
Does anyone here have what they would consider a
more extreme case of ADD? Not me. A cute ADHD. Some say wildly, but then, they're not in my head... It looks pretty nOrmal from here...
I need help. Mayday, Mayday! There's a report of an 11-6 (citizen in need of assistance) at the jxn of ADDult & Discovery! 525 to Dispatch: 'I'll respond from Impulse & Distraction. On scene in ~ 3, 2, 1...
Here's some links that'll link you
up to professionals in your area. Make sure you confirm they are
trained in ADD or ADHD, and conform to contemporary treatments. Kaiser
Permanente did not when I was there a few deaths ago. Perhaps they've
modernized.
http://doctor.webmd.com/physician_finder/home.aspx?sponsor =core
http://www.chadd.org/
Here's a link to a self assessment for ADD ADHD.
http://my.webmd.com/medical_information/health_tools/alpha _toc.htm?z=2000_00103_1113_rx_02
Heres' some other links that'll teach you a/b ADD & ADHD, and everything in between.
http://my.webmd.com/content/article/63/72138.htm?z=5020_81 000_0000_ta_01
http://www.addconsults.com/
At your service,
David
a.k.a. ADviHDornor T'Ornado a.dd.a. "Davidornado" or more recently 'Davidornadog'
Sorry that should read
ADD and ADHD has only very recently been accepted, much less
understood, as medical history goes, in children, not to mention adults.
In other words, demand your rights.
more people who think they may lose their job! I go back to
work next week after the summer off, I have not worked on my project which
unfortunately involves hundreds of people so I can't hide away...the admin at
work is screwing everything up and I want so much to leave....that place is the
worst for me in so many ways but I need to look for another job first or my
next career as a bag lady will unfold much sooner than I planned...I haven't
even commandeered a shopping cart yet..