ADHD / ODD

HI,  My first post here.  I hope some of you can help me out. 

My son is 13, he is ADHD/ODD and is currently taking Adderall XR (10 mg).  He is very small, 75 lbs dripping wet, in 8th grade.  My problem is, that the ODD seems to be getting worse, he is always angry, raising his voice, argumentative, and does not seem to notice that he is these things.  I am trying to disengage, but as you know ODD kids are great at getting you fired up.  I find myself yelling back and losing control of my anger as well when this happens.  What should be done?  The ADHD is not as bad as the ODD - I really find myself at a loss as to how to help my son overcome these emotions, outbursts, when he does not even realize it is controlling him.  Any help or advise will be appreciated.  Also, he is the smart kid, grades are fine, IQ 139, because of this, he seems to "think" he knows everything - has input on every subject you could imagine coming up.   I call it flying by the seat of his pants.

Mom Busy,

Welcome and know that your situation is exactly like many of us at this site.  Your son is very lucky to have a mom who cares enough to research a solution rather then continue on a downward spiral. 

With the right meds, consistent behavior modfication techniques and lots of love your son can reach his fullest potential while you retain your sanity. 

First, if he is not already seeing a child psychiatrist or neroulogist, get him one now.  If he is, then change and get a new one.  I'm assuming that your child's diet is balanced and you've optimized his vitamins and physical regime. 

ODD traits are often worse in the morning (no meds yet) or in the afternoon (when the child is tired and rebounding from the morning meds).  It's not uncommon for a childs meds to also loose their effectiveness as they gain weight, mature and reach puberty.  Additionally, ODD is often treated with a different medication then ADHD (usually a mood stablizer).  Regardless, a good psychiatrist (actually in this case a pharmacologist) can really help.

Next, a family therapist is a great person to also add to your team.  They will help all of you to manage your responses in the same manner so that you consistently reward positive behavior while recognizing and modifying negative behaviors.   In our case, once we learned how to disengage, things suddenly cooled down and got better.

You can certainly try and effect change by reading a book (I recommend The Explosive Child) and 'do it yourself'.  It's a good start and certainly gives you a foundation to from which to grow.  But real results did not come about until my wife, my son and myself were all facing each other in a counselor's office.  Our counselor is an ADHD specialist and went right for the jugular during our very first meeting.  If your son is like ours, you don't need to mess around with niceties....the direct approach works best.

Again, welcome and keep us informed of your progress

Paul

When he gets angry, does he get violent or really nasty or break things? ODD is often really a symptom of another disorder. It never stands alone and a combo of ADHD/ODD is often early onset bipolar which has been misdiagnosed by the professional. It is usually the first combo diagnosis before bipolar is diagnosed, in fact. In that case, if it is, Adderrall won't help the ODD symptoms at all nor will behavioral management because it is a medical problem and stimulants only make it worse. You may want to check out the symptoms on this site and see if he fits. Also, if you have mood problems or substance abuse on either side of your family, those are red flags for early onset bipolar, which manifests much differently in kids than in adults. Your family tree will tell you much about what is going on.

www.bpkids.org   Good luck.

I feel your pain. I have a 16 yo that has exhibited many of same problems. No ODD until he was 13. ADHD was noted, mostly disorganized and not getting work done but he is very intelligent. He is adopted, not much known about the bio family, although bio mom was depressed prev to the the preg. Heed the advice to look at bipolar, I do think that is where we are. It has been an ugly situation the past 18 mos. Juvenile detention for incorrigibilty and possession at school. He was in drug court and has now been kicked out. WE are not sure what awaits him. Possibly out of home placement. I have mixed feelings. WE are ready for tough love, but are afraid of the unknown. It has been tough getting a diagnosis and I am not convinced his meds are where they should be. One big thing to look for, is they will get their hands on anything they can for a buzz, cough syrup, any otc drugs. It is not peer driven either. There is another book that is good, called The defiant child. I believe that is the title. Helped me alot to realize that it is not the parent. One of his basic concepts of the defiant child is they have the attitude because they feel they have no control, but they can have the attitude. We can't take it away.

I have another son that is adhd/odd, he is 12. When he is on his meds his odd is very controlled. It is different than his bro. They are not bio bros. We were just blessed to get TWO!! We have seen great changes in him with his diet. WE tested for food allergies and I have appt for him to see NP tomorrow... thinking he is on the spectrum. So we will see. Time has shown different patterns for both of these boys.

Good luck to all. Never give up. There is greatness in each of us.

Hi everyone, hope none minds my joining in

This is my first time online looking for support surrounding my ADHD child and dealing with the behaviours that have been escalating. My 11 year old son has ADHD and our 12.5 year old son has ODD behavoiurs. We have four children adn are feeling very overwhelmed as theya re feeding off one anothers negativity adn I am losing it more than helping the situation.

I was very interested in your situation with the Adderral as my son has been on medication for several years now and we have tried all of the new medications that have been brought onto the market.Dexedrin, Adderral, Concerta, Strattera etc. I was very concerned about the effects that the Adderal had on our son. He was a zombie! We could wave our hand in front of his face adn he would be 'zoned out'. We recently tried Strattera and found little effect. We are sticking with the dexedrine spansule which seems to be our tried and true.

I truly belive that, as the parent I need to advocate for my child when it comes to the medications. Each childs personality is unique and medication should only enhance their true personality, not change who the children are. If it is not helping after giving teh 'therapeutic time frame a chance' then I talk to teh doctor and go back to the drawing board.

My frustration initially was with the learning problems our son was having and that started the ball rolling and the outcome of the ADHD diagnosis. As he has gotten older, I find now that his behaviour has become more of a concern! He is easily frustrated and angers quickly. He has become very aggressive, hitting out at his siblings.  (He is a phenomenal child when he is 1:1 but in a household with two adults and four children, thise times are few) It doesn't help that the older son (ODD tendancies) goads him on and is too smart for his own good. Our two younger children, 7and 9 are adding to the fray! None of them know when to draw teh line and stop witht eh verbalizing! I feel like I am living in a war zone with the best yet to come.... The teen years!! Any suggestions on how to survive this and help with some behavioural therapy etc?? I went to the Dr for help and was basically told there is no one who does any health care related to behaviour, etc with ADHD children, in our area!