In a nutshell

Hi,

I'm new to the board and really need some advice.  My son is 9, will be 10 in December has been diagnosed with ADHD since the age of 3 or 4.  I've tried every med out there and they do not work.  He has good days and bad days.  As the school year goes on he gets worse.  He also had ODD and OCD.  I'm wondering if there are any public schools out there that handle kids that have ADHD.  I know there are some private, but I just cannot afford the tuition and I DO NOT want to send him away to boarding school.  I'm at my last straw and am willing to move if it means my son will thrive in a school environment and stay out of trouble.  It'll be too late when he's a teenager.  I'm in Michigan now, but like I said I would be willing to move.  I am a single mom, but work out of my home, due to his behavior.  I would appreciate any input.

Thanks,

Cheryl

PS - I've also trying counseling and diets to no avail......

Hi Cheryl,

 I am a newbie to this board as well, but I MIGHT be able to assist in this matter a bit. I have a 14 year old brother in law who was diagnosed with ADHD at age 5, we are finding out things that are leading in a totally different direction now, which is sad, but we're anxious to figure this out and help him.

 He lives with us...

 Now, in Arkansas, where HE is from and us origionally, they WILL take ADHD children, BUT they have to be treated, they use to offer a 'special' school for these children but because my BIL is literally smart as a cookie, he went to regular classes. They have since closed that little school down and are putting the children other places. ( I wouldn't reccomend this place)

 OK...we're in Colorado now, these schools here have the most amazing programs available (public schools). My 15 year old daughter is a peer partner in school, which means she goes to the class for kids with disabilities and actually walks them through their day (one day a week for an entire day, and one class the rest of the week) they take them shopping (groceries) teach them how to cook in this class as well. They also walk with them to their classes and sit right beside them to assist. They have every form of disabilty in these different classes, from ADHD to CP. They are associated with other children daily and have professionals working with these children to assist in their day to day activities and lessons.

 The only thing about it is, I am not sure if every school district offers these programs here, but I know ours does. I also have a Day Care and one of those children attend school at age 4, all day classes just to jump start him for next year, when normally kindergarten would be half day, he will attend full day in classes that range from the normal kindergarten classes to speach therapy, handwriting skills, phonics..etc.

 As far as the med's go...what's strange is that I JUST walked downstairs from talking to my BIL about the med's issue. He JUST told me that since he was 5 he can remember taking the med's and them causing him to want to act out even more, he said that he thought about killing himself while on these med's as well. He said he can remember being in a daze and not knowing how to control himself or how to handle everyday life. Then he told me he didn't see any changes for the better. They changed his med's when he was 13 to the Stratera, and he said this was a pointless med that did not aid him what so ever in the area's that he needed help. I guess this is why the Mother gave him MORE than the prescribed dosage, maybe she thought the more she gave him the more it would help? But he said he took the pills to satisfy her, but that they were causing more problems than before.

 He's off the med's now and is doing "alright", he's not 100% and since we have him now, he will be reevaluated by proper Dr's.

 Anyway, back to the schools issue, I'm sure there are MANY out there, but being military and moving, I can honestly say this district is the best I have ever seen.

 However, it's very expensive to live here in this area, but there are programs available to help single Mothers or those that need it. OH, and they offer after school activities here for these children! There are also MANY support groups in our area for Parent's.

 I can make some calls if your interested, this would be a big move for you & your son, but maybe if you can find somewhere that 'fits' it would be worth it! This is a beautiful city with a lot to offer. These services are all free, as they are public schools~

 I wish you all the luck in the world, God Bless~

Mrs. Ree,

Thank you so much for all of your information.  I very much appreciate it.  I would love to get some more information from you or if you have some websites I can do some researching around that area, possibly a government website? I'm not sure. 

It sounds like your BIL has turned his life around since he's come to live with you.  That is wonderful!  I'm hoping my son can turn his life around the same way, but I want to be with him every step of the way.  I'm at the end of my rope, but still will be and always will be with him.

Thanks,

Cheryl

Cheryl,

Welcome to this website!  I hope you find the information and support you're looking for.

Since it's been about 5 years since your son was diagnosed and you're struggling with ADHD meds, it sounds to me as if your son needs a thorough evaluation to figure out exactly what's going on.  There's no way you can treat him properly -- meds, school placement or anything -- if you don't have a proper diagnosis.  You mention OCD, which makes me think he has co-morbid anxiety.  Stimulants can exacerbate anxiety, and anxiety can make ADHD symptoms appear worse.  In addition, anxiety combined with ADHD can make oppositional behavior far worse.  My 12-year-old son has ADHD and anxiety, and we were recently told by his new doctor that we weren't going to get anywhere with him until we addressed his anxiety.  My son, too, gets worse as the school year goes by because the anxiety of holding it together all day makes him oppositional and school avoidant.  I'm wondering if that could be happening with your son. 

In any event, I strongly recommend you have your son evaluated by a neuropsychologist, who can diagnose as well as recommend appropriate interventions.  Please post again if you have further questions.

Good luck!  And again, welcome.

Thanks for the welcome SmallMom.  I've had him evaluated many times.  In almost every situation they put him on meds.  This may work for some, but not my son.  I've even taken him to neurobiofeedback and they put him on meds while they did the therapy.  He was still very defiant.  I know for a fact he has anxiety, just the way he behaves in certain situations.  In fact I've pulled him twice from all sports because he gets so angry when he's playing and he LOVES sports. 

I'm just frustrated because I'm not getting the help he needs, but am not sure where/how to get it. 

Thanks,

Cheryl

What meds has he been on -- just stimulants, or anything else?

So the doctors were thinking your son might have bipolar disorder?  Or did they not mention that to you?  Was his mood never stabilized on these meds?

I hope you're working with a good child psychiatrist.  Otherwise, you can get in a heap of trouble with these meds (I know from personal experience).  Has a straight anti-anxiety agent ever been tried on your son?

Cheryl

Check out the Alternative board on this forum also if you are interested.  Many people are having very good results with natural supplements and homeopathic medicines.

Cheryl,

My 10-year-old daughter (who does not have ADHD) was dx with depression in March and prescribed an AD.  She had a bad reaction to it -- episodes of strange uninhibited and aggressive behavior.  The pdoc told us she either had an idiosyncratic reaction to an AD or she has the beginnings of early onset bipolar disorder.  My daughter is now on Depakote for mood stabilization and doing better (although not 100 percent).  Time will tell what we are dealing with, but I do think we are in good hands with our current pdoc (not the one who prescribed the AD in the first place).  If your son has consistently reacted poorly to stimulants and ADs, that is a red flag for bipolar disorder.  If he has bipolar, he needs stabilization with the right meds (not natural supplements and homeopathic remedies).  I hope you find a good doctor to diagnose and treat him.  Sending all good wishes your way.

Thanks so much for the advice SmallMom.  I will get him re-diagnosed again with a proper doc.

Cheryl  :)

Hi Keelime

Thanks for the welcome!

My son CAN do very well in school if he wants to.  I think he gets really frustrated with everything though.  LOL He says it makes his brain hurt sometimes! His writing skills are awful, unless I make him sit down and take his time. He's always in such a rush, you know how kids are in school, they like to be the 1st one done, etc... He is in a special needs class everyday, but only for about an hour or hour and a half everyday.  And he's only in there because of his behavior, nothing to do with academics, so they say at the IEP.  The school counselor has been involved, but only in the IEP meetings.  She isn't much help at all.  There may be another program at a local school where they handle these kids better but the principal was my son's first principal in this school district and has already "labeled" him and wouldn't even work with me at all.  I surely don't need that.  Anyhow just trying to figure out where to go next.  Thanks for all of the advice and good luck in your situation as well.

Cheryl  :)

Thanks Sensory I will do that!!

Cheryl  :)

Thanks for the info SmallMom.  I will look into the University to get his properly diagnosed.  Yes, he has taken antidepressants and stimulants too.  Mostly adverse effects, which from what I hear may be part of bipolar?  I'm the same way, I had adverse effects from many different medications.  Weird, but that may well be an explanation as to why. 

Thanks so much!

Cheryl

He was on Seroquel (anti-psychotic) for sleep.  They also tried that on him during the way to see if that would calm him down.  It didn't work.  Just mad his more irritable and whiney.  Bi-polar has never been discussed as a diagnosis, although I wouldn't rule it out. 

No, his mood was never stable on the meds.  It would seem to get that way, but then turn around and be back to square one. 

He's got insurance from the state so there isn't much of a choice when it comes to a psychiatrist at this point and she just gives him a script and sends him on his way.  I don't like that, especially after she's only met him for a few minutes.  Not everyone tolerates these meds.  I don't think she cares though, just another paycheck.

Cheryl,

 I will start looking at the district web site and see if there is any information on there for you, if not I will send you phone numbers to call and they can take it from there.

 I'll PM you with the Info.

 We have yet to begin the wonderful journey of diagnoses with my BIL, but I can tell you that from personal experiance there are some fantastic places here for treatment (advice from other Mom's in the area) I see a Physician in Denver at the University Hopsital, but this is for Graves Disease, nothing like what our kids are dealing with. I will also speak to my endo and see if she has any info on the Physicians in the hospital for this sort of thing...this is where I am taking my BIL ASAP, and if that doesn't work, we'll go somewhere else. Although it's a drive from where we live it's worth it for the care they provide.

 There is also a place called Cedar Springs in Colorado Springs that treat these issues, I have had alot of positive feedback about this place as well from Parents.

 Finding a Dr. to treat our kids is as important as finding a school that will accomidate their needs, as well as you finding work..etc. Many things factor into a move.

 Going right now to find this info and sending it your way.....

Thanks SO much Mrs. Ree.  You don't know how much I appreciate it!!

Cheryl

Cheryl,

I really feel for you and your son.  My guess is you don't have the right dx, and your son's doctor is not taking the time to figure it out and find the right combination of meds.  Frequently, an early dx of ADHD/ODD later turns out to be bipolar disorder.  I'm not saying that's what your son has, but you really owe it to him to find out now if you ever hope to get him straightened out.  Stimulants and antidepressants (you didn't mention if he had ever taken them) can make kids with bipolar far worse.  If he has bipolar, you need to stabilize his moods first and then deal with whatever symptoms are left over.  Just treating the ADHD or just the ODD or even just the anxiety is not going to do it if he has bipolar.  At this point, finding the right doctor, I think, is far more important than finding a school that deals with ADHD kids.  Because frankly, I think you're looking at more than just ADHD.  University hospitals frequently take Medicaid -- you might look there for a child psychiatrist and/or neuropsychologist to diagnose your son.