omg i just can't even read to the end of all the posts because i am just SO
SO SO relieved to read other people's stories and kinda know that i am
not the only one out there.
i have had difficulty all my life with the same issues and finally someone
said to me (over the internet on another site) i think you have adhd and i
went to see my doctor who sent me to a lovely psychiatrist who
prescribed me ritalin (adderell for some reason isn't available in the UK)
and he said it would revolutionise my life....
.... the only thing is i haven't started taking it yet. i am SO scared -
particularly as i am very religious or rather, my faith is just the most
important thing to me - the feeling of the grace of god and i am so
worried that the 'ritalin' is going to inhibit that. stop me from feeling that
--- because someone else put somewhere how much they feel there
spirit was fighting against everything and well i don't want my cure to be
'no spirit'. if i can put it that way.
i wish there was another cure. my life is a MESS big time and i am lazy or
well not lazy exactly but everything gets in the way and i can't force
myself to do what i ought to do. i have no self-discipline.
you know, i don't understand any of it. it's just so hard. just so hard. i
spend much of my time homeless anyway - i live on the outskirts of my
life really. i half live. and i don't care too much anyway. i'm always in my
head so it's irrelevant what's going on outside.
has anyone had any negative reaction to ritalin or adderell - at all.
everyone so far that i read seemed to think it was the answer. i don't
want to lose my spirituality.
and anyway how much of my life is only f****d because of what society
imposes as the right way to live? i mean sheesh if i was living in a tibetan
buddhist monastery i'd be FINE. i am non-materialistic, meditative,
spiritual, hard-working when given a task that feels worthwhile to me
(and completely lazy and impossible if i can't get my head around the
work).
how much of my angst and worry is merely a product of living in such a
consumer/capitalistic society which for all its Christian ethos is pretty
much unspiritual and driven purely by a 'protestant work ethic'. not that i
disagree with a protestant work ethic and i DO want to work hard - i just
can't make it for some reason. or i can but i find it HARD and i fail more
often than not in getting there. am i lazy? maybe unmotivated is more
apt... unconvinced. oh, its so frustrating.
i wish i understood it better. still great to find this site. i am gonna read
some more posts.
cheers to y'all. cj
chjones,
Medication does not change who you are.. It just makes you able to focus and be a better you.
I have very recently started medication -- My spirituality hasnt suffered -- as a matter of fact I believe it is better...
Now, when I pray, I actually get to the end of the prayer, rather than daydreaming in between and then realizeing oh yeah, I was praying........
Sherry
thank you sherry for your kind reply!it's good to hear that.... i am really trying to believe it, right now. i have
this fear which i'll just have to get over i guess.
my fear kinda goes like this - the brain is so complex nobody can be
really sure how you will react... am i prepared to risk that for my current
situation which after all i have managed to survive and live with (well
half-live with) for the last 30 years!
my psychiatrist also informs me me fears are groundless and baseless... i
suppose in the end i just have to make up my own mind. this place is a
good start though because i can talk to people who have actually taken
the medication - like yourself - and for whom there have been no bad
side effects. so thank you again. this site has been quite a revelation for
me and i'm not even a part way through! all the very best
cj Wow, Queen CJ,
I didn't know y'all 'twas rialty! Well, come to the board, and have your fill. You'll find the fixin's here ain't so fancy as y'all might sort in the motherland. But we still be adventureres here, on the pioneering side of society, enjoying the daily discoveries bestowed betwixt us.
And, as a famous author once said, whom I believe I will paraphrase now, and he had always wanted to end a toem with the word, therefore in hornor of Trout Fishing in America, I to will end this tome with the word Mayonaise.
chjones,
As you might have read, I take Adderall, but with Ritalin or Adderall you are still in control because it wears off midday or by the end of the day...it's like having a cup of coffee that lasts all day. So, if you drink tea or coffee, you'll have an idea of what it is like . It seems to do what I wish coffee would do--wake me up, but not make me shaky.
You don't have to take it everyday. I used to only take it if I had to really meet a deadline at work or go to a meeting (those are the death of me). But, at the moment I take it daily because I need to accomplish a lot right now and I need the energy and my mind to be present.
Side effects:
*My skin is breaking out and I'm sort of picking at it. My new dr. said this is not unusual when taking a "speed" type of drug. He said it's an OCD-type of reaction. He reassured me that I do not have a willpower issue. Sometimes it affects people this way (not in the short run, but since I'm taking it daily right now). You just feel compelled not to leave something alone. We are working to clear that up, but I need to deal with it while I figure out a new career path--need my wits right now.
*Not hungry. A lot of times I need to force myself to eat something b/c I don't have an appetite. I have blood sugar problems anyhow (severely low blood sugar), so this is a real concern. My dog, however, wants a snack every couple of hours and she is hard to ignore. So, I usually snack when she does. :o)
*Tired and grouchy. When it wears off (midday or end of day), I HAVE to take a nap. I can feel it coming on. I noticed that Ritalin made me feel irritable when it wore off, but Adderall does not just drop you off--it sort of tapers and I don't feel grouchy like that, just tired.
Hope that helps. I tried the natural way (my 1st preference), but it didn't really zoom in and do what I needed. When I have less responsibility, I may go back to vitamins, etc. I try to supplement all of this with vitamins and exercise (Fish Oil, B Complex, Cal/Mag, and a Daily Multiple), but I need to be more consistent. ME..CONSISTENT? Ha!
Hope that helps.
bb
jones,
If you were nearsighted and your doctor said, you can wear these glasses or squint, which would you prefer to do?
ADD'ers have difficulty"focusing" and use meds like glasses to "see" better.
We live in a fallen world, but I don't think to many people would say wearing glasses so I can see better has made me less spirtual. Of course we're talking about our brains here and it's a little more complacated. Most people would say that takeing their meds has helped them be more of who they are and want to be, not less.
Hope this helps in some small way.
oh thanks bluebird - that helps a lot in fact.
i would like to take adderell rather than ritalin i think. maybe i can look
into getting a prescription in the states as i am here right now.... although
i have no clue about navigating the US health system. all i vaguely know
is that there isn't much of a NHS over here...
it has reassured me, the wearing-off part. yes, i wonder if i could show
my UK ritalin prescription (which i have with me) whether a dr. would
consider writing an adderell one just on the basis of that?
well, we'll see. thanks again
cjhey pilgrim
ya know its funny - i do wear glasses. and someone once asked me
whether i would consider getting laser - to which i answered 'no, i like
having both types of vision' including the option to have the blurry one
when i take my glasses off... i find it quite useful on occasion particularly
when i want to sort of zone out without appearing to do so....
but if adderell is a controllable temporary cure, then that is the best of
both worlds again... i can have my blurry adhd world when i feel like it
and zoom up to speed (as it were) with the adderell when the situation
calls for that. yup i am becoming more convinced every minute....
my mother will be overjoyed if i turn into a 'normal' functioning person.
perhaps i will be overjoyed?
but i like people with adhd - i do think although faintly useless in an
everyday capitalistic kinda way that they are nicer.... and make the world
a nicer place too.
some of the 'symptoms' of adhd - the traits of compassion, intuition,
consideration that i have seen mentioned on this site are not highly
valued in contemporary society but to me, they are far more important
than productivity and efficiency. as long as it is not a 'straight swop'!
because if so, i would rather not change myself into a more productive
but less compassionate person (for whom would i be doing that!!!). i
would prefer to try to change the current value system which can favour
manipulative, scheming, dishonest, selfish bullies and give due weight
and deference toward those more spiritual values of decency and
consideration for others before oneself.
someone else said it somewhere i forget where (in the bible even??) but it
was something like this: 'what benefit it a man to gain the wealth of the
whole world if he lose his soul'?
it's not that i don't want to work hard and efficiently - i do. and i do
know that my adhd gets in the way of that, that i am wasting whatever
talents i have been given and am generally being a burden to society
rather than contributing. i want to change that i just don't want a 'trade
off' --- i guess that was my big fear!
but yeah, we'll see.... thanks!
cjwell thank you davidoranado for the welcome. i feel very welcomed - a
gregarious, open, friendly welcome which americans are so well-
renowned for (and which i have found to be very true in my short visits
over here!)...
so i will end with English equivalent which of course would be to say
nothing as we are far less open and more suspicious of strangers by
nature unfortunately!! except 'salad cream'.....?? [QUOTE=chjones]hey pilgrim
ya know its funny - i do wear glasses. and someone once asked me
whether i would consider getting laser - to which i answered 'no, i like
having both types of vision' including the option to have the blurry one
when i take my glasses off... i find it quite useful on occasion....[/QUOTE]
Well Said
Don't fix what ain't broke.
Enhance it, turbo it, but don't replace it...
chjones wrote:
|
You are very, gregariously, openly and friendlied welcome. Extraordinarily, too.
Comparison
 | Heinz Salad Cream 650g Squeezy Live Currency Conversion into | |
Trout Fishing in America (Paperback)
by Richard Brautigan
Product Details
- Paperback
- Publisher: Dell Pub Co; Reissue edition (November 1, 1983)
- Language: English
- ISBN: 0440391253
- Shipping Weight: 3.7 ounces.
- Average Customer Review:
based on 12 reviews.
(Write a review) - Amazon.com Sales Rank: #384,584 in Books
[QUOTE=chjones]hey pilgrim
ya know its funny - i do wear glasses. and someone once asked me
whether i would consider getting laser - to which i answered 'no, i like
having both types of vision' including the option to have the blurry one
when i take my glasses off... i find it quite useful on occasion....[/
QUOTE]<span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 255);">
Well Said
Don't fix what ain't broke.
Enhance it, turbo it, but don't replace it...
</span> <!--
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[/QUOTE]
you know i believe dostoevsky used to suffer from epilepsy and when
asked about it he said that the moment of intense clarity/enlightenment
that he would get just split seconds before falling into the fit - meant that
he would rather have epilepsy and know that than never have had
epilepsy at all!
its all swings and roundabouts....
ch &nbs p;> >
You said earlier bout a quote of "gaining
the whole world and loseing your soul". Ya, I think I
know who said that, some guy named Jesus. Money
is not the root of all evil, as some people mis-quote,
but the love of money. Big difference 'tween the two.
Money in and of itself is not bad, just what it can do to
people who have to little or to much. As the saying
goes. "squeze an orange an what do you get". What
that means is the lack or aboundce of $ doesn't
cause people to act in a certain way, it just brings out
or makes them more of what they already are.
My wife if super-focused on keeping up with the
'jones' , making sure we put up a good front and
never asking anyone for any help. Her goals are
how things look, not how they really are. You can be
rich in 'things' and still be very empty inside. I'm not
against having money {I've been rich and I've been
poor-and I prefer Rich} but making it your number
one goal, I feel is not healthy.
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