This all sounds very familiar...
She's in total agreement though... how else would it explain that I was obsessed with gaining her approval to buy and keep a lizard rather than being supportive her when her dad was being treated for leukemia (thankfully very successfully)... it's just daft when you think about it.
She just accepts that when there's an idea in my head, it ain't going away and puts up with me, occasionally reminding me when I'm going off track to the extreme. Subtle work on her part, I *have* to get her approval before buying anything, not because she forces it, but because I know that I will forget that I just spent a large amount of cash last week on something which I've forgotten about.
getting a grip
you are sooo right. i 'm totally sick of saying 'well then i must have that disorder"
or " tell me where i can get a prescription' i just tell ppl ( and i really don't like talking about it b/c i feel that ppl think i'm being whiny or something and i want attention) that we are all a range of possibilities.
if you look at a line , a spectrum..we are one end. on the wayyyy end of the spectrum that includes all of our traits..and those that are disabled in such a way that they can't chew gum and walk at the same time and can only do ONE thing at a time and focus too intensely all the time..those ppl are on the other side. they aren't noticed as much as we are. they seem to fit into the modern context a bit better than us. they can plod through school and office jobs.
now given all of this. most ppl are in the 'average zone' as you would expect any population to be. we are a small percentage of the total population. and although a person might have one or two of our issues which occasionally flare up it obviously does not represent a complete disorder.
if you could use an analogy it would be like this: thats like saying b/c you sighed heavily today b/c it was rainy that you're chronically depressed and suicidal just like me.
you know what i mean? its THAT different.
thats like saying b/c i stuttered a few times when i was drunk ..that doesn't equal a freaking speed impediment!
just b/c i trip on sidewalk cracks doesn't = parkinsons or something.
you get what i'm saying? just say all that kind of stuff.
a bike ISN'T a car.
a train car does't make a TRAIN
an isolated intelligent thought doesn't make a dumb person a genius.
aiyah!
sumi
oh and YES! 'NORMAL' ppl can overcome those impulses and moments of inactivity typically.
or they have a freaking undeactive thyroid and can take a pill and all their energy problems go away.
this is one of my hugest pet peeves. what do they know anyway? do i try to say what its like to live with cancer?
Sorry, I didn't mean to offend anyone, I just meant that it's not exactly in the same league as schitzophrenia. I think awareness of these things is slowly improving over here, but it's still uncovered off people own initiative rather than through the health or education system, especially in adults. It could also just be my view of things.. not saying that our health system is comprised (entirely ;) ) of neanderthals.I was only ever violent when provoked... at which point it was more of an omnidirectional rage thing than actual violence.
Well, that test was quite interesting though, I think it just about proves that I should speak to someone about it anyway...
Apparently the following are highly probable:
ADD Inattentive Type, Cingulate System Hyperactivity, Limbic System Hyperactivity and Basal Ganglia Hyperactivity
browman, sounds like you should at least get an evaluation by a professional. People are becoming more open about this disorder in the USA but there is still a lot of scepticism. There are a lot of people who don't believe in this disorder especially if your an adult. Because of past exposure to this in the media it is expected that even if you do have it you SHOULD outgrow it. People and physicians are just starting to research and believe that it is not true. The other problem is that people who have it or whose children have it don't talk about it to other people becuase they believe they will be treated differently or thought not to be normal. Please can you describe normal to me? I don't believe it exists. Anyway as long as it is kept in the dark and people don't talk about it there will always be a stigmatism to the disorder. I talk about it all I can and I don't tell my son that he should hide it. He is only 8 so it doesn't really mean anything to him now except he has to take swallowable pills. Someday that may be different and he may wish that people don't know. I have been completely honest about my ADD with my family, coworkers and friends. It is sometimes really hard to explain what it is that makes us different though. I need to find a short/good description of what it is like to have ADD that won't make the person I'm talking to say well then I must have ADD too. The difference is all people suffer the symptoms occasionaly but they don't suffer them every day all day. That is a hard point to get across.
Best wishes in your quest to getting a diagnosis.
i wish i could hear your accent. anyway
it really is horrible that you think that adhd is a minor problem..or rather your mental health system. i've read somewhere that uk has the worst stats for adhd..and that a large portion of adhd children were violent. (this came from some adhd online article.) of course i forgot where i read that! LOL
sumi
Thanks, I'll take a look tonight.Browman, Here is a link to a web site that has an online test you can do to get an idea if you have ADHD. Go to the Amen Interactive Brain System Checklist link. It gives you results right away. This site also has lots of other useful ADHD information.
Also check out these other web sites.
http://www.pediatricneurology.com/full.htm
I thought this last one would be interesting to you since it is done in the UK. By the way I ordered the eye q for my kids. They have only been taking it for a week so it is too soon to judge the effects but I'll keep everyone posted.
Mary
Thanks for your reply. Sorry another long post...The old "stiff upper lip" culture is still very strong in the UK. As a woman, people are quite accepting, but as a man there's a huge stigma involved in admitting that you need help. We go to the doctor when we're having a heart attack, and drive there ourselves... or wait until the voices tell us to go... lol
That stigma, though, could well be in my mind as it's been drilled into me by my dad ever since I was a kid when I was unable to knuckle down on my homework. I was even dragged along to a phsycotherapist who diagnosed me as "suffering from stress" (well, duh!!). All I could answer to that was "but what's making me stressed?", how exactly could I cope with stress if I didn't know what was causing it?
My family was very loving and supportive, no money problems or arguments in the home, my school was doing everything they could (i was bullied a little, but nothing sinister), but it just wasn't working out. Everyone doing everything they could for me, but there's little old me, unable to get on with my homework without serious handholding (like telling me what to write), skipping school due to anxiety, making up illnesses so I could stay home (even ended up with a stomach ulcer, which I was hospitalised for).
My parents responded to this with threats of "removing distractions", like my computer, TV, music, etc... they removed them, which was upsetting at first, but that only compounded the problem, I ended up just picking at the walls, taking things apart, setting fire to things, basically finding any distraction I could.
It was only once I changed schools, dropped a year got a motorbike and gained a bit of independence I actually pulled out of it a bit, but I still relapse into depression every few years (like right now).
Wow, getting too deep here...
Anyway... (I bet that's a common 'one word sentence' here)
I've done a scan of the Yellow Pages, and found a local psychotherapist, but over here, you either go NHS or private. AFAIK, the NHS doesn't recognise *minor* mental disorders like ADD, and therefore won't treat them until they turn into something more serious like depression (at which point they treat you for depression, whoops!). You need to take the initiative and go private, and it's generally not covered by insurance if the NHS doesn't recognise it, so fees get in the way.
I guess there's nothing to do but bite the bullet and book an appointment (there I go spending money again)... don't know what else to do, samaritans perhaps?
...just been reading through some of the posts on this forum. Does this mean I'm not nuts, and there is actually something documented about why I've had such a crappy time of it for the last 29 years?
I've not actually been diagnosed with anything, but all this all sounding far too familiar. I heard about ADHD when I was randomly "work dodging" an hour or so ago, and typed "I can't concentrate" into google. Then I saw an few articles, that outlined a bunch of very familiar personality traits...
* obsessive about seemingly unimportant things - tick
* lousy sense of direction - tick
* rarely wears a wristwatch - tick
* easily distracted - tick
* inability to tidy a room - tick
I've always felt different than other people, and the few people that I've made friends with are also a bit "odd". When I was a teenager, I had several panic attacks (in school of all places!), and a couple of full on nervous breakdowns where I just had to up and disappear for a few days. Depression, obsession and uncontrolled spending (driven by a built up "need" for totally random material posessions) have been a constant theme throughout my life.
I seem to just jump from one obsession to the next, each one lasting approximately 2 weeks, and normally costing money. I've been through just about every bit of software you could imagine, learning it religiously then never getting round to using it. I start something new but then totally lose interest in it, and it rapidly becomes the dullest thing in the world to me (playing music, martial arts, rock climbing, golf, squash, everything about my job, etc). And whenever anything changes that's out of my control, it fills me with dread and anxiety.
Then there's my temper, I get instantly wound up by the slightest thing; Interruptions, tailgaters, stupid questions, incorrect use of apostraphes, stupid e-patent applications, you name it, I'll manage to get angry about it.
I smoke far too much pot, but feel a need to do so to get temporary relief from the idea machine that constantly whirrs away in my brain and takes me away from the important little things (birthdays, aniversaries, promises to keep, eating, etc). I can't drink much alcohol (I generally get a hangover before I get drunk), but if I could, I would probably have a problem with it.
I get freaked out by crowds, and can't spend too much time in pubs and clubs, especially noisy ones. I will normally leave early, which gives people the impression that I don't like to be around them, which is usually wrong.
I have a tendency to overuse parenthesis in forum posts (I wonder why it's not gramattically correct to nest them).
Could ADHD be the reason behind all this? Worse still, is this the reason I felt compelled to quit my job 6 weeks ago (after 2 years of unfathomable misery), and now can't stay focussed on finding my next one (much to the dismay of my wife)?
Does anyone know how or where I can find out more about ADHD. From what I can tell, it's not taken very seriously in the UK. But if there's an answer, in the form of medication or counselling that I could work through, I'd be very interested to speak about it with a professional, but I don't know where to start looking.
Phsychiatrists are a rare and expensive thing over here, and anyone going to them is usually considered to be "nuts", which puts me off. I don't think I'm nuts, just that I need to confirm my suspicions and figure out a coping strategy that I won't quit 2 weeks down the line.
while all of this sounds like its terribly familiar- as you've probably run across many statements about getting officially 'checked out' . i'm really suprised that the uk isn't more accepting about mental health. you have my sympathies. afterall it isn't as if its the fault of the sufferer. its not like we just bring this on ourselves. the stigma i think i rather akin to plain bigotry. i hate that.
other possible disorders you might have : bipolar or even you might be adhd + bipolar ( i know this b/c ive spend five years in therapy with a psychologist and i have a psychiatrist and i am perfectly sane despite this as they have both thoroughly attested to. if you wish you could simply rephrase your perspective on their function as proffessional 'council') anyway or you could be deppressed and have ocd..it could go on and on. its not uncommon it seems to have what they say is comorbidity..meaning adhd plus other problems. or basically any disorder plus another one. either way its a total barrel of fun! yay!
psychiatrists, although there seem to be a ton of them here in the usa are seemingly hard to get to as well. you could be in some dire kill yourself crisis and need meds and you would have to wait three months to see one. they might as well be the president. you only seem to get about fifteen minutes with them as well. i prefer my actual therapist WAYYYY better than my psychiatrist. he can actually keep track of my trials and tribulations i make him laugh, we have a good relationship and really consider him my mentor. a lot of ppl on the forums here have mentioned psychiatrists as being the best for diagnosing etc. they are the ones responsible for dispensing prespriptions etc. but i find that an excellent therapist is best for everything else. my psychiatrist is a 'good' one but if i run late, which you've probably discovered is the common existence for us adhd'ers , that means i'm breathing heavily from running down the hallways to get to her and i have to spill my guts and my analyzation of how the drugs helped or did not help me and the state of my life and my opinion about dosages in a matter of ten minutes or less...and then she sits there and says " do you speak like this all the time" b/c i speak very rapidly typically. its called pressured speech..and i'm like"most of the time yes but since we're in a rush i have to speak even faster"
and she sits there and tries to puzzle other disorders out of me which i find ridiculous b/c she sees me for fifteen minutes every three months ..whereas i've been seeing my very fine and excellent competent psychologist for two and half years. geez!
anyway
hopefully your country has some kind of mental health assistance. i find it suprising that your ppl have attitudes like that..especially since everyone always lauds the europeans as being so 'progressive' and liberal. i must say....WHAT A MYTH! LOL
sincerely,
sumi
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