I have to think of a topic? | ADHD Information
Kerrbear, great idea, putting it in a journal, it will help to make us aware more and notice when it happens I think, and being more aware, maybe it will happen less. I know me though, I have been trying to keep a journal for years, I'll have a spurt and then forget all about it, lose the book, start a new one, find the old one, use it, then I'm completely lost. lol.Davidornado brings up a good question that I've been wondering about. Everyone lies - well I guess most people have lied about something. I sometimes wonder how much of what I blame on ADD is actually something that most people do. I'm starting to think that I shouldn't always hide behind the excuse of "I have ADD so I can't help it." If I could be as politician I'd have it made - lying is not only common in politicians, but expected. Too bad I hate politics!
Dark_Angel - you hit the nail on the head - often I am lying about something without even wanting to - I can't tell you how many times I've been telling some lie and thought - why in the world am I lying about this? I've decided to try to keep a journal of every lie I tell no matter how small or insignificant it may seem so that maybe I can become more aware of when and why I do it. Now if I can just remember where I put the journal! 
I have a habit of lying which started at school, my forgetting and losing was cronic and I soon learnt that when I told the truth, they would think I was lying, because surely, no one could forget or lose things as much as me. they would think I just hadn't been bothered, perticulary when the truth was "I had done my homework, spend hours on it and left it at home." I had 10 different teachers, everyone have me detentions every single lunch time, often it was 'which one shall I choose'. I got sick of losing every one of my lunch times, lying became a servial tequie for living which add.
I realised recently just how much I was lieing, and barb, I see that its makes me untrust worthy. Now in the work place I continue to lie, I quess though, my excuses dont work any better then the truth, in either case it hasn't been done and often they figure that there are just too many excuses to be true. Hard though, to get rid of a habit which is a automatic non-thinking thing.
[QUOTE=Kerrbear]Barb - I appreciate the advice. I know logically all of the things you are saying are true. If it were that easy to just stop, I wouldn't really have to ask for advice on how to stop. I don't mean to make excuses, I know my behavior is destructive to myself as well as those around me. Maybe this is a better topic to discuss with a therapist or professional. I truly hate lying and I wish I could explain why I continue to do so. I wish it really were as easy as just not doing it anymore - I'm sure people who wash their hands 500 times a day because of OCD wish they could just not do it anymore too. It's just not that simple sometimes. Or maybe it is that simple and I just need to take some responsibility for my own actions. [/QUOTE]Hey, I know! Harness it. Quit fighting it and give in: become a politician... Or a salesman...
Hey, I lie. And not down, either. Everyone lies. Do you put on makeup? That's a form of not being who you are. So you do it with words. I do it with my behavior (people have thought I was lawyer, an ER doc, a cat skinner, a cop, etc.). I think Pres. Clinton is AD. I bet you not 1 in 1,000,000 persons doesn't go a day without lying, and surely 100% minus 1 have lied at least one time in their lives. After the age of accountability. Hey, I don''t know. Can a baby lie?
Not that I'm excusing it, nor you, I guess I just wanted to what, lie? No, think outside the box. That's why the Old Testament was written, in order for us to see that we CAN'T do it on our own. That's why the New Testament was written, in order for us to see HOW it can be done.
Moral issues require moral solutions.
The moral solute is the Blood of Christ.
The power to overcome is in the Power of the Higher One.
The appropriation of that Power is through the faith of the one in need of Faith in The One.
That'll preach... Oh, wow, Barb!
You scared the 'L' out of me. Thank God! I got to quit reading just the juicy bytes. You literally made the hairs on my arms stand on end, and I got a rush. Talk about salad creamed! Teach me to spead reed. I had to sneak back up on you and read you backwards (last paragraph first). You know what I did? You drew me into a peaceful welcome, then yelled OUT LOUD! And I flushed the page b4 I finished reading you. Instantaneously. Weird, eh? Or a guilty conscience? Or a guilty conscious? Or a guilty sub-conscious? Or a guilty sub-marine?
Autumnstar - Thanks! Some very good ideas!
Ok, there's a big difference between lying because you don't want to do something/avoiding and you know you have no intentions of doing it. If you KNOW that you won't do it if you can get around it - then don't tell people that you'll do it.
But if you DO intend on doing things and you just forget - that's NOT lying. That's FORGETTING.
Here's a few tips that I've been trying to incorporate for myself. Make lists, put them where you'll see them. Maybe you can carry around a small notepad or use post-its to place them on something. Alot of cell phones have 'to do list' options in their "organizer" menu. Or if you can get a palm pilot (some people stop using them and will sell you theirs for cheap).
You need to figure out an easy way that will work for you - if you always carry a cell phone, maybe you can create the habit of writing in your to do lists and checking them at certain times of the day. Or checking the notepad, etc.
You need to look at your life and make habits that can easily become second nature.
I have an old Palm pilot that I'm trying to get in the habit of using. I'm actually thinking of asking for a 'voice recorder' for Xmas, so then I can record things as they come to mind. I just have to make sure it'll be something that I'll find a use for to replay back.
Autumnstar
Basketcase - Thanks. It sounds like you and I have some very similar situations. I nver really mean to lie about things - and I generally do mean to do the things I say I'm going to do. But that's often as far as it gets. Unfortunately, my boyfriend (whom I live with) is right that I lie too much. He actually is very supportive but I think he has a very hard time understanding what living with ADD is like. I think he thinks I am just using the ADD as an excuse - truthfully I probably do use it as an excuse sometimes. But I also use it to "kick myself in the butt" because I know I need to motivate myself more than others might in order to get anything done. I too have the "perfect" sister, but fortunately I also have a brother who is worse than I am so much of the attention is diverted from me. My family and friends try to be supportive, but I think it is very hard for them to understand this and they often think I am just being lazy or disorganized. Oh well, it's nice to know that there are other people out there who understand what we're going through. I'm hoping to find a good psych Dr. soon who can help me figure this all out.
I have read Driven to Distraction - I found it very informative and helpful.
Thanks for your advice and support!
Welcome! 
Now that you have joined our family, I will give you my personal words of wisdom. STOP LYING! It isn't helping you or fooling anyone. Be honest with people and ask for their help.
You can tell them that they are not to give you anything to do which cannot be done immediately or which you cannot be reminded of beforehand.
As far as unpleasant tasks and conversations, everyone has to deal with them and you only make things worse by trying to avoid them. I would be willing to bet you don't get out of them anyway, you just get them delayed. If it isn't your responsibility or you don't think you can handle it, admit it. Tell them you won't or can't.
People would rather deal with an honest person they disagree with than someone who lies. When you lie, you are telling them that you are a bad person and are not trustworthy. I avoid liars. Most people do, and when they can't avoid them, they talk about them once they leave.
Think about how you would feel if they lied to you.
Well, your first stradegy should be to tell whoever is calling you a liar because you are forgetting/avoiding/procrastinating that that is ADD, not lying. When your intentions are good and you mean what you say at the time, and then don't do it for one of the reasons above, that is not intentional lying. There is a difference. It really gets me that people say things like that when we usually feel bad enough already that we let them down. Now you are lying, they say, which of course puts another log on the fire of low self esteem. My sister very viciously told me that "You always have INTENTIONS of doing something, but you NEVER COME THROUGH, DO YOU?!!!!!" and she said other hurtful things too. She's been very mean about the way I am, we don't talk anymore because of it. She is at the opposite end of where I am, controlled, organized..........but, she is a b*tch too, which I'm not. I'd rather be around someone like me instead of like her. Problems and all. I DO care about people. I'd never kick someone when they are down like that. She knows I'm on meds to try to help myself with this, for heaven's sake!!!!!!!
The people in your life should be more supportive in how they talk to you about "what your issues are". I suppose your post touched a personal nerve with me!
The book "Driven to Distration" has alot of tips for us on how to get through our day better, have you read it? Maybe that would help. I've tried some of them about the organization, keeping a day runner type book about things to do, appointments, etc. It does help. Just don't lose it!!!!!!! Mine is red, can spot it more easily!!!!
Good luck with finding a good dr., hope you don't go to a General practioner or gyno, find a good pshychiatrist that knows something about ADD.................
Barb - I appreciate the advice. I know logically all of the things you are saying are true. If it were that easy to just stop, I wouldn't really have to ask for advice on how to stop. I don't mean to make excuses, I know my behavior is destructive to myself as well as those around me. Maybe this is a better topic to discuss with a therapist or professional. I truly hate lying and I wish I could explain why I continue to do so. I wish it really were as easy as just not doing it anymore - I'm sure people who wash their hands 500 times a day because of OCD wish they could just not do it anymore too. It's just not that simple sometimes. Or maybe it is that simple and I just need to take some responsibility for my own actions.I read a book that talks about how for ADDers "out of sight" is TRULY "out of mind". It said that if we put something in a drawer, it might as well not exist anymore. It recommends not using drawers to put your clothes in.
For figuring out how to pick out your clothes for you (and your children) use something like this: http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=br_1_16/602-2500729 -1951039?%5Fencoding=UTF8&frombrowse=1&asin=B00067WS UC
I find it extremely helpful for my son.
Here's another idea for putting clothes away but where you can still see them: http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=br_1_9/602-2500729- 1951039?%5Fencoding=UTF8&frombrowse=1&asin=B0001WHY5 Q
For such things as socks, underwear, belts, etc. I saw a generic/primary colored one at Target I want to get my son. I don't care if I have to put it inside his closet, I think it'll really be helpful with his socks, t-shirts, shorts, etc. The primary colored one I saw was larger, had more bins and was .
But you get the idea.
I was diagnosed with ADD severalyears ago (I definitely do not have the H to go with it though). Since then I have been trying to "self-heal" through various means. I have read everything I can get my hands on about ADD, and learned several coping mechanisms. However, I am now painfully aware that I am unable to deal with this without professional help. I am in the process of seeking therapy to help, but I also thought it would help to join a discussion group with people who can empathize. In reading many of the other posts on this site, I am somewhat encouraged to know that I certainly am not unusual in my manifestations of the ADD.
I am not really sure what my biggest issue is - I have so many! I feel like I need advice on so many things - if I could possibly say them all at once I would - hmmm, sounds like ADD, huh?
The people closest to me and most affected by my ADD say that my two biggest issues are lying - usually because I forgot to do something or in an attempt to avoid an unpleasant task or conversation - and procrastinating. Does anyone have any advice, suggestions, strategies?
Or you could go topicless