Medication vs. Alcohol & Other Addictions

well, at least you no you had a great time......my luck i would of blown way more than i should of.. 

my motto

if i didnt have bad luck

i wouldnt have any at all

does that make my glass half emply

or does it make it half full

depends on the day

and on the way

i want to respond

so dont make me wave my wand

you might like it

and you might hate it

i could be nice

i could be mean

but i would love to rub you in ice

for the pleasure of the tease

most of my life i have used pot as my medication. and i'm grateful i have such low tolerance for alcohol, and the rest of the illicits.

i smoke much less understanding now the source of the short temper, the flightiness, the 'i can't stand to be in my own skin for no apparent reason', the unrelenting string of failures and broken relationships, yadayadayada....

and glen- i have seen what you have in davidornados posts. he is a bright and frequently lucid guy(check out our banter in the stupid thread). sometimes i can't tell if he's being brilliant, or if he's on some kind of bender, maybe employing the amphetamines a little too much.

i wish you all the best in any case.

Thanks all (you too David buddy) for working through this here.

I hate - emphasize that HATE to go on about other people's troubles.  Casting the first stone and all.  It's just so easy to avoid the troubles with alcohol - just don't use it!  Eating disorders and such - well you can't stop eating so it's hardest of all.

We all have crosses to bear.  I'll be the last to say I'm clean of the troubles that go with life.  You'll never pack my emotional baggage in an overhead compartment.

The only thing that kept me from going down the path that many of us have chosen is my biology.  Alcohol would kill me before it made me feel good and pot never made me feel as other's describe it does.  Thanks mom!!  DNA has it's advantages - her strong german code overrode much of pop's weaker english code so that's the saving grace for me!

When someone appears to be either justifying or endorsing the path of alcohol and illicit drugs I must speak up.  There are many here who are looking for a path and if they hear that others have had "success" with things such as pot or alcohol they might take that path too.  Please everyone be careful of seeming to be plugging something that could be detrimental to others?!?

Drink if you must.  Smoke if you must.  Just know that others are listening to you ok?

Ok I'm done.  Thanks.

- Glen

[quote=seeker63]i have seen what you have in davidornados posts. he is a bright and frequently lucid guy(check out our banter in the stupid thread). sometimes i can't tell if he's being brilliant, or if he's on some kind of bender, maybe employing the amphetamines a little too much.[/quote]

[quote=davidornadoggedly]you have seen what you have wanted to see in my posts. Perhaps brilliance, perhaps lucidity, but if I'm on any bender, it's the bender of a life lived naturally with ADHD. 

Investigate this data set: the timing of the posts, and the content of the posts, in the context of the diurnal rythm of my ADHD, knowing the onset and metabolism of my mxRxs. There are hours in the day where the meds are less influential.

Consider the environment also. If a serious post is to be responded to, seriousness prevails. If light banter is available, then so be it.[/quote]

I prefer to remain in the posts to remind folks that there is life outside the box. These boxes we build in response to society, to peer pressure, to not knowing we're building a box, limit our view of wonders beyond the walls. Remaining in the box reflects a lot of attention on self, whereas looking over the walls, or through them, which is much more intriguing, you will find a world beyond belief.  

AD/HD is a tool to see beyond the walls of conventional thinking. Either it gets used, abused, neglected, encarcerated, or released. Only a fractional few allow it's release, and follow it to success.

There are a lot more in the fold that if given the appropriate training, coping mechs, tools, mxRxs, environments, careers, etc. would become phenoms beyond their own minds, and contribute their names to history. Like Washington, Lincoln, Reagan, Edison, DaVinci, Davidornadog, Peter the Apostle, David the King, etc.

most of my life i have used pot as my medication. and i'm grateful i have such low tolerance for alcohol, and the rest of the illicits.

i smoke much less understanding now the source of the short temper, the flightiness, the 'i can't stand to be in my own skin for no apparent reason', the unrelenting string of failures and broken relationships, yadayadayada....

and glen- i have seen what you have in davidornados posts. he is a bright and frequently lucid guy(check out our banter in the stupid thread). sometimes i can't tell if he's being brilliant, or if he's on some kind of bender, maybe employing the amphetamines a little too much.

i wish you all the best in any case.

today was the day I knew had to happen
I now have a new monicker, I'm no longer Miss Incredible
I'm Miss Uncredible. Uncredibly unknowingly, unwillingly, undeniably unable to stand this anymore. I'm taking it very personally at this moment that they brought adderall back days before I had to go back to work.  8 weeks of nothing. People who used to be my friends at work have turned away from me (I don't know why) and my daughter has decided to punish me after finding out about the Adderall. It's like "oh, she has adhd eh, she's on drugs eh, well, now I'll get her". Get her back for being a recluse.
My boss and I had it out this morning, I can just feel how upset I am, I have put up with so much and done so much there and come through and now I"m losing credibility? (his words) At the exact moment in time when I got the meds people turned away, then they took the meds away and then I broke my wrist and I lost almost a month of work and then the summer but the Dexedrine burned me out so much I was about to go off and go to the US to get Adderall...

so, I did come home tonight and  self med, not really sure why I’m here right now, like a strange convergence of planets where the one thing that has made a huge change in my brain came along just as everything in my life collapsed from the weight of the years behind it…there is just too much mess around me...what would I do if I could not selfmed?

Maybe when we have our mini saga contest next year you can write my entry about adhd (cheating noooo..just saga by proxy!), 50 words and it has to tell a story...I've only ever written one and it was really good but I couldn't enter it as it was about an entanglement w/someone I work with (i know, first time but boy...disaster of Titanic type)…you're obviously a free flowing original thinker with an undeniable talent....a wordsmith!!! I would love to get stories from talented people like you and publish them in an "adhd scrapbook" type of book...stories that would show the real adventures that adhd can bring into your life (oh joy and not so joyful)

hi jones, sorry for the muddle. Am feeling better just have to ignore the nonsense. What happened was my gov't pulled Adderall after I had been on it for one month, so I found a life and they pulled it!  They lifted the ban about 3 wks ago and I've been back on for about 2 weeks. The summer was a lost time for me but I'm working on not letting the past ruin my new found joy.

Pilgrim, you're right! Only I have to clean house and heart, don't I?  My heart has been crazy glued so much in the past ten years I didn't ever think it would heal but now I see it's better left alone. All those cracks and crevices are like a maze and if I can't find my way I can always detour or take the road less traveled (is there any other one?)  I going to print out your poem and put it up to remind me that there are others out there who think freeway or jungle or vast plains, rather than single lane.

Alcohol does not make me more crazy. It does virtually nothing anymore. I drink, therefore, I am, a drink... 

I think

I've developed a tolerance to it. Or the meds counteract it. My dalkTor told me to knock it off, too. That's why I cut back. Haven't cut it out, though. Thanks for the concern, Glenn. I'll watch the intake.

Sabina,

'twas my life before RitLA,

When all through the house, all the creatures were stirring, yes, even the mouse...

And all the self-meds, were hung up with care,

In hopes that somebody just wouldn't dare

Think that I'm crazy, or put me in _______ (<there).

When up in the attic, there rose suchuk ladder,

When I fine'ly found out, that I is an ADDer.

what if self medicating (not alcohol  as it makes you more crazy up up) keeps you from hitting the roof going over the deep end what if it is the only thing that gives you any motivation to actually get started doing many things what if it takes down anxiety so high someone crackling paper behind you on a bus sends you into an internal rage what if you have a child and are calmer and gentler when self medicating even though of course there are negatives and health issues but many many years very sick no meds, no help, no one can read inside my head and I can't explain
I have adhd so I can't concentrate on one thing, I can only concentrate on many things at once
I have this so every day is an endurathon and utter will gets me through every day
The distant between how I look and what people expect of me and who I am in my head is as far as the distance between all of the planets to the nth degree...self medication = immediate survival
I love that you are so caring toward your buddy and that comes across...just wanted to show another pov

David my friend - I worry about you truly I do.

Alcohol only masks the side effects of the ADHD by slowing down the though processes - probably as the cells are dying from oxygen deprivation and being torn apart by alcohol's toxic additives.

The whole reason I discovered I had ADHD was when my last (alcoholic) uncle passed away - a hermit in the middle of nowhere he had isolated himself from life and loved ones.  He joined all my other six uncles - all with obvious signs of ADHD masked by heavy alcohol use.  All died single, alone and of serious complications due to alcohol abuse.

My father also abused alcohol - but thanks to marrying my mother - a strong forceful woman he was able to beat the alcohol and find balance in his life.

I myself abused alcohol to some extent in my early twenties.  Thankfully I was blessed with my mother's inability to metabolize alcohol - causing stomach troubles ranging from irrirtable bowel to low-grade ulcers.  I had to quit shortly after I started - leaving me to handle my messed-up life alcohol free.  Have been ever since but there were years where I longed to end up drunk rather than deal.

Drugs never did it for me - again my mother's metabolism saved me.  Pot just left me lethargic and morose.  Other's left me so disoriented that nobody allowed me to go to their parties because they feared I'd end up either spoiling the fun or ending up at hospital.  All good things I assure you.

I've seen a bend in your writings that often focuses on trying to use illicit or unwise means to mask your symptoms.  I know you mention in this one only a couple every couple weeks - but in the past I've seen other variations that concerned me and said nothing.

 I wish that you could see the damage that is done to you by these things.  I don't wish to be critical - only concerned for your well-being as I've seen six living - and dying results of trying to make it go away with things like alcohol.  I no longer have uncles at all - are you somebody's uncle/brother/father????

Take this for what it is - my concern for you.  That's all.

Be well my friend - please.

- Glen

Anyone notice an increased tolerance to social level drinking? I drink once every two weeks or less, and then have 3 beers max, or 2 kickers (Whiskey or Vodka or Guaro).

I went dry for 7 years during my early drug trials, but as I've stabilized, I noticed it takes a lot more for me to feel a buzz than it ever did before.

I wonder if the increased level of neurotransmitter activity is canceling out the intoxicating effect.

Anyone notice it on other stimulations, such as extreme sporting activities? Come to think of it, either I'm getting better at my extremes, or the rush isn't as satisfying so I push the envelope further.

[QUOTE=Davidornado] [QUOTE=Professor]Davidornadoggedly, I see I've found someone who is exploring the brilliants that is the ADD mind.  I am truely amazed at the mysteries of life I've been able to uncover since medicating.  I'm looking forward to share knowledge with a mind that has obviously learned what these minds can do.[/QUOTE]

Hey, doc~

Thanks for the encouragement. It's encouraging. :)

Welcome to the Tapestry (the sum of all threads). What brings you here?

I was bored one night, done with work, poking around the ADDers world, and stumbled across this schtick. I really thought I'd ADDle away after a few posts, but found something edifying, and as you see, have employed the Hyper part of ADHD in sticking around, and sometimes sticking around. I do not walk softly, though.

Now I'm behind in work again. At least for an ADDer boredom doesn't last long.

If you can endure the agony, do a search on my posts. There are a few nuggets in the ore, but ya gotta diga round to appreciate them. Can't say I know all about the mind of AD, but I live with one, so I've learned to cope.

Again, thanks

D
  [/QUOTE]

I came to this board soon after taking my first adderall, back in Ocotober '04.  For the first time in my life I was able to control bordem long enough to open a web page. From there I attempted to rid myself of everything ADD.  I realized months later that having an increadibly active mind that notices everything is an beautiful gift.  The hyperfocusing is totally new to me.  I'm working on the ablity to notice everything, like we can, and still focus only what I want. I think its fun!