Having MAJOR ADD episodes | ADHD Information
Eight days on wellbutrin 300mgs and this is how my day went:
Yesterday, I turned in a "C" term paper that started out as an "A" term paper. I started out on the work with a lot of enthusiasm and my professor was just knocked out over my progress. Then the weekend came and I just did nothing (procrastination). I wound up pulling an all nighter Monday, while drinking too much coffee, only to turn in crap. BTW you're not supposed to drink much coffee while on wellbutrin. Trust me. Heed the warning. More about that later.
Today, I was supposed to see a shrink to be tested for ADD. But I forgot what I did with the card that told what time my appt was. Also, I had agreed to babysit my granddaughter, so I was going to have to take her with me and hope for the best. At 8:00 AM I called the drs office to see what time my appt was. (Nothing like procrastinating to remind me of my impairment.) The receptionist said that I did not have an appt schdualed for today since the dr. is on vacation. Now I am absolutely certain that I had an appt schedualed. I even wrote you guys about it right after I schedualed it. Anyway, I'm glad I didn't have an appt since I could not take the tests and look after my grand at the same time.
So I start studying for final exams schdueled for tomorrow. I must say, I am somewhat pleased with my ability to stay on task once my back is against the wall. But I need to be able to do this earlier on. Now I feel like I'm cramming and that is no fun. Anyway, one of the books that I need to study is missing. I put it down somewhere and now I can't find it. I know I had it Tuesday afternoon but who knows what I did with it. HOW DOES ONE LOOSE A TEXTBOOK????
Then it's off to the library where I hope they have a copy. They do. Thank God. I read through eight essays in four hours plus jot down notes on each one. Again, why couldn't I have done this weeks ago? What good is it to blaze through an entire semester in four hours? Is it possible that since I've started school I have actually gotten worse with respect to my ADD? The house is a mess. My truck is filthy. The yard hasn't been cut in a month. I am now up to 900mg of asprin twice a day for this nagging wellbutrin headache. I can't seem to sleep for more than two hours at a stretch and I know that I wasn't always like that. I woke up this morning at 5:30 to pick up my grand daughter. I took a power nap at noon for around an hour. It is now 12:15AM and I am not even drowsy. Did I mention that I have two final exams today? SInce I botched my term paper, I'll have to practically ace the exam in order to maintain the requisite GPA.
I HATE this!!!
Sorry about the above,
I know that we are trying to be more positive in this forum, but just as we need a place to celebrate, I suppose I needed to vent and there is absolutely no one else to talk to except my therapist . Frankly, I am having my doubts about her. Besides, I won't see her until Tuesday.
I'm okay now. Thanks for listening.
god chief i'm sorry!
i am feeling sooooooo bummed out today. i'm on wellbutrin too. i've been taking one exedrin migraine at a time ..i'm getting a bunch of headaches. i used to when i was a kid so i didn't associate it with my meds. i used to do the same thing you're doing in school chief. my life fell apart when i was in school + working. i just dropped out eventually to my own pained chagrin.
i'm having a major adhd morning. it suuuuccckkks. 
i was ok when i woke up . i was groggy like a zombie b/c i take zrytec every night for allergies. that actually counteracts my adderall and wellbutrin that would otherwise prevent me from sleeping..so all you ppl out there with sleeping problems. i did read somewhere on the net that docs sometimes suggest benadryl and antihistamines to counteract. (don't do claritin or anything..afterall its 'nondrowsy' anyway i don't know about long term effects of this type of practice nor do i know about addiction. i've been taking zyrtec for almost two years now. i have to b/c i'm allergic , severely to: dust, mold, dust mites, grasses, trees, weeds, animals.)
anyway i grabbed a couple of pizza slices from my fridge this morning. and alough i live in texas i decided to wear a black long sleeve knit shirt, a jean jacket and jeans with sneakers. (i love my coach sneakers..they look like converse but they are deep purple with the coach logo on them. i'm usually not a logo whore but these are a bit more mature than converse. sort of. LOL) so i was comfy. which is the way i like to be when i'm at work. we're not privy to the public. i work in a locked suite. (sounds like prison doesn't it? IT IS! LOL)
i drive a two door nissan 200 sx. i actually like it. its paid off. i prefer smaller cars since its easier to park and i'm excellent at manuevering it. i live in houston..so i am a highway rush hour pro. today when i was merging on the highway some oblivious woman almost crashed into me. i had my signal on. i looked over my shoulder as i was drilled to do by my ever so competent husband. and she did not heed the right of way. keep in mind i was transitioning from an entrance ramp onto the highway and she was totally blundering into this lane from main aisles of traffic. i was sooo pissed. i got soo angry. i was honking my non existent horn! i was waving my arms. i looked like a total nine year old. do you think the woman even noticed that she almost crushed me to death with her chevy tahoe boat of entitlement? hell no. she didn't even LOOK when she changed lanes. i was fuming. i then proceeded to follow her, if i could. i was like charlie brown gone psycho. i was like the female larry david. i was so mad. who does she think she is? i could of had my son in my car!
so i proceeded to fume and tried to follow her. i was completely incapable of getting to her bc of traffic. about fifteen miles later i thought i was going to get her. what the heck was i going to do? oh yes. my creative mind came up with whatever ridiculous vengeance is possible in traffic. i was going to flip her the bird! i don't care if all the good ol' boys in houston traffic see my uncouth road ragey morning unfurl! i don't care if the corporate prissy ladies see me act so uncouth! then i was thinking! i will merge in front of her and give her the double bird!!!!!!!
i'll turn on my hazards just so she sees me!
when i finally thought i'd reached her.
it was a YUKON.
not a tahoe.
i was soooo feeling deppressed.
for having fumed for twenty miles of morning traffic. for not having just chilled out. for actually almost being a total road rage idiot. i never road rage. but just that total lack of caring that i saw on her oblivious face when she changed lanes. it started my anger.
so there is my horrible adhd retardo moment chief.
i'm sorry for my long posts and my rant. sigh.
i'm a veritable amazon river of expression
sumi
Sumi,
LOL! 
I am laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes! Not that you had a bad adhd morning ...I am sorry about that! Its your writing skills...its so vivid....I could just see you doing that. You don't having problems expressing yourself in your writing and you don't skip from thought to thought like I do!
Hope your day gets better!
Upwardbound
Chief,
I'm in school and having the same problems. I'll do excellent in class participation, I'm quicker than anyone else and seem to know a lot. I even do well on many assignments. Then I take the tests and I get a 'C', maybe a 'B' if there's a curve. Usually this confuses the professors, who tell me not to rush through the test and "don't be stupid about this." Well, I'm not rushing through the tests and I'm not being stupid about it. I take my classes seriously. I never miss a class, even when I'm sick!
The disabilities office is no help. They offer to provide you with certain accomodations (more time on a test) but they don't tell you, as an ADHD person what kind of accomodations would suit you. Since most adults never had accomodations before, they don't know what suits them. Sometimes I feel this is too frusturating. They encourage us to break the mold, represent ADDers by trying to accomplish our goals and dreams but provide nothing to help us succeed that we need.
Your fellow frusturated student,
Cheekydeeky
so cheekydeeky
that is so deppressing! the stupid disabilities dept doesn't even have a helpful solution for you? gawd. i wish i had some tricked up mobile home of adhd info. i would drive around and inform the schools all over the us. why not? mtv does it for voting..
anyway so you think extended time will not help you out?
do you think the pressure of the testing time effects you? or that actually taking a paper and pencil test is something you're not apt to be successful at for whatever reason i wonder if you could get an accomodation to either do an oral exam...such that your instructor could query you and you can respond appropiately..to make them understand that you're with the program...
or if they could let you take the test in a different kind of environment...maybe a time where you feel sharper like the morning.
maybe in a testing center/environment where you're not just sitting at a regular desk in class.
testing areas in colleges usually have cubicle type areas..so there would be or should be a visually blocking surround area around your desk. maybe that would prevent you from being so distracted?
maybe one quesition per page?
i don't know. just some random ideas....
i am about to restart this fall. i'm very excited. but geez. i thought after six years of being out of school that i am so motivated and all...that i would be able to do stellar now that i'm on meds...but i'm getting scared hearing you two! good luck to you both!
sumi
Uhh,
Actually Sumi, I'm not on meds right now. I'm supposed to be on Adderall XR but the doctors have determined it's too dangerous because of my existing hear problems. One night, Strattera shot my heart rate up to 242 (average heart rate is 60-100 beats per minute).
So, if I could take meds maybe I wouldn't be in this boat.
-cheeky
darn it cheeky!
have you checked out the dr. amens brain system checklist?
if you do that
and click on all of your "high probability' etc. results for more info
he has suggestions on VITAMINS and FOOD that you can use to tailor your diet to improve your brain function given your condition...i would do that if i were you. it couldn't hurt right?
sumi
chief - never mind your grades, you're my hero for doing 20 years in the navy. I barely made it through 4 years in the army. It's wierd how drugs have unpleasant side effects on some people, but others can take almost anything without harm. The only thing that's ever given me a headache was a bottle of yukon jack. Is wellbutrin helping your ADD symptoms at all? I'm taking 150 mg more of wellbutrin than you and my affairs are just as chaotic as ever. Of course, it has done wonders for my depression - I don't think I could cry if you hosed me with teargas. Maybe it's a good thing that your term paper was thrown together at the last minute, some people perform better under pressure. I forgot one thing - be kind to your liver. 1800 mg of asperin per day is scary. You should talk to your doctor about the headaches. My doctor would freak if I was taking half as much asperin as you are.Just finished my finals,
I think I aced one and am pretty sure I got a high "B" on the other. I wish you guys could have seen me blazing through my essay answers. They were spot on and very well constructed. I wasn't surprised that I felt so good about the test. I was just surprised by my ability to do what I knew I was capable of.
And do you guys remember my "A" term paper turned into a "C" for crap? When I turned in my test, my professor looked at me and said, "Great job on your term paper". I couldn't believe my ears. She NEVER says that about anything. The class was stunned.
If you knew what my grades were like in HS and how stupid my relatives thought I was, you'd have to say that this is almost scary.
Not only that, now that the summer "A" session is over, I have the weekend to relax and do some chores around the house. Is all of this also an ADD episode?
O Happy Day!!!
ChiefB38155.6747337963I'm a little confused. I thought you already had your term paper grade. In any case if you're doing good, it sounds like your ADD (if you do indeed have it) isn't inhibiting your grade levels or school success. Congrats on your tests and keep going!
Hi sumiah,
You mentioned grabbing pizza from the fridge. Has anyone ever noticed that their ADD symptoms get much worse after eating a lot of sugar or high carbohydrates (like pizza)?
I know if I eat a lot of sweets, or bread, crackers, cookies, or anything with a lot of sugar or starch, my brain feels like a friggin' cotton ball. I am in a fog and just want to shut down and sleep.
Good job Chief! Way to go!!!
See, that's the thing about us ADDer's, we're not as dumb as we think we are!
Cheeky - wow! Sorry to hear about your heart problems. I can relate . . . I have Mitral Valve Prolapse and an enlarged heart. Other than that, I'm fine. 
But I've been on a trial of Strattera that failed due to depression and anger. First trial failed due to high pulse and BP. But I got off of it then started at a much lower dose and no more high pulse or BP. Now on Wellbutrin. No high pulse or BP, no benefits either.
Next week, I guess I'll be starting an Adderall trial. Thats what the doc said she would have me try next if the Wellbutrin didn't work.
I find it interesting how everyone complains about insomnia while on Wellbutrin . . . I've been sleeping like a freakin rock!! Asleep by 10 and sleep all the way through till 7 and still have a hard time getting out of bed! And what happened to this weight loss I'm supposed to see? I've been eating like a pig! Ah well.
Chief - again - very glad to hear about your scholastic success!!! I hope this gives you encouragement to continue!
Oh yeah . . . the carbs! I totally know how bad they are for me and my ADD yet I can't resist!!! The cravings are just too strong.
kimo38155.7481712963
Sorry if I confused you, Cheekee
The term paper grade that I keep mentioning is MY assessment of the work that I did on it. I still have no actual grade from the professor on the test or the term paper. I'm sure you've turned in work that you can kind of judge what your grade should be relative to the amount of effort you put in to it and relative to what is required by the professor.
I hope that I didn't sound as if I was bragging. That's one of the pitfalls of not being able to use verbal communication or facial expressions. One can easily be taken out of context.
My therapist is working with me with respect to my self esteem issues. I feel that I have no right to toot my own horn for accomplishing things that require little effort. For example, my term paper needed more work, in my opinion. I know that I can do much better writing than what I turned in. So to me, my best writing is deserving of an "A". What I turned in was partially thrown together at literally the last minute so that, to me, is a "C". I'm happy to take the professor's assessment that the paper was "great". But I know what I really deserve.
My self talk goes something like this...
Me: Hey Chief, Great job in school this semester!
Me: Yeah, but if you're in college you SHOULD be getting good grades. Besides, you're 43 years old. What took you so long?
Me: You're right. Everyone gets good grades in college. The ones who don't, go find something else to do.
Me: Oh and by the way, everyone else who's getting the grades you get is 20 years younger than you. Could YOU have gotten these grades 20 years ago?
Me: No
Me: Then what are you so proud of?
Me: Duhhhh..
ChiefB38155.7555787037Chief . . . you are being way too hard on yourself!! Been there, done that. Didn't even get a t-shirt out of the deal!
You should be very proud. ESPECIALLY being "older" than the others. It's harder to learn new things the older you get (trust me, at 45 years old - I know!) and those "youngsters" are still "in the swing" of learning new things from high school. Trust me . . . your accomplishments are well above what those youngsters are doing. You have a lot to be proud of. Please accept that. I know how hard it is for ADDers to accept praise. Believe me I know. But accept it and move on to the next challenge!
I hope this made sense . . . I have a hard time saying what I want to say usually .. .
Chief, I missed this post until now! I would have let you know I was on the sidelines cheering for you if I had seen it!
As I was reading through the thread, I kept thinking about how intelligent you are and how well written your thoughts always are here. I am glad that you did well and can now have a break!
Did you see the post about our chat today? I hope you can join us! Barb