i’m a cussmonger | ADHD Information

here's a story:

when i was a little girl ppl used to call me 'prim and proper' , 'the nice girl' ,

'oh so polite' i was silently anxious. talkitive and bright. bubbling with energy. eager to please. adults loved it. plus they didn't see my report card. so they had no idea how bad i was on paper.

anyway i grew up in the army. i'm an army brat. my parents were divorced and i was the classic latch key kid. so my brother spent hours alone after school. didn't bother me b/c i would immerse myself in books and skip out of homework. (homework, the kryptonite of all adhd'ers)

my brother although a year and half younger than me had quite a cussing thing going on. maybe boys just love the bravado and defiance of it. i was too prissy. would never do that as a girl.

junior high. still wouldn't cuss. still prim and proper. voted unofficially and anectdotally as 'virgin until the year 2000' (i wasn't ugly just akward and shy, the cutest guy in school asked me out. we had a longdistance relationship, as in i only saw him in the hallways and he would send me pics of himself-signed and given to me by his flunkie friends. so typical) i was in talented and gifted. we had eight students. i was a sleeper kid. i did answer tons of questions in class so much that it annoyed my classmates and my teachers. i got banned from raising my hands sometimes. i scored over 95 percentile so they put me in. t.a.g. it was the only time in my life in some respects that i felt like a belonged. me and a few other nerds. it was great. yes. junior high with my rag tag group of nerds-insular-and the most comfortable i was ever in school. all good things end. as army brats we were disbanded person by person never to be seen again and never to go to highschool together. i was kind of devastated.

highschool.

i was in all advanced classes. i was deppressed. i slept in class. i hung out with the fast lane ppl. skipped school. drank in bars ( i was in germany ) my friends shop lifted and i was an accomplice. i didn't care anymore anyway. i was too deppressed. didn't see a future for myself. i started cussing. since i had some g i boyfriends it was quite an easy art to pick up as you can imagine.

adulthood. years of waiting tables floundering making choices about college careers majors. what the hell am i doing? so i'll just wait tables. i cuss like crazy now. i don't really like it but i do. its the only thing that really gives me the expression i need when i'm frustrated and angry. most ppl don't even realize i cuss until they overheard it and noticed it. they were always shocked. you cuss! yes i do. who cares? its arbitrary! the assignation that this language is not to be used vs. sugar and spice. who cares!

it was a bad habit. but i couldn't shake it. whenever i couldn't control myself. i was tired frustrated angry. out came the cussing. when i became pregnant my brother in law was on the phone with me and i let the f word slip. "you can't do that sumi! you're a mother now!" "oh yes i can!" i said. i'm a grown up. i can say whatever i want to.

a fifty something cook in a  restaurant i worked at said "i've never meant a woman that could cuss like you sumi! you are one of the few women that know how to cuss properly" he was a writer. writing a history tome. i was very pleased with myself.

then my son learned cussing. yeah yeah. i'm bad. bad parent. then i explain to him that its a bad word. he isn't allowed to say it. only after 18. LOL.

my husband tells me recently: i am sooo sick of hearing the fword coming out of your mouth.

LOL

i'm considering hynotherapy to get rid of it.

my husband said..do you ever cuss around customers or your boss?

no.

then why can't you just stop it and control it like you do then?

i said

do you smoke on a nonsmoking plane honey?

why don't you just do that in the rest of your life?

sumi

sorry guys!

i'm just bored sitting at my desk.

 

  Hi Sumiah, I can cuss & make a sailor blush!(My S/O was in the Navey)and although i'm not proud of it, I can out cuss most guys! My Grandmother cussed all her life and she did it around me! No F words, just the basics, sh**t, Da**it & hell were her favorites. But now i find myself using the F word way to much. I think my S/O gets a little embarrassed, simpley because i'm female. He says its a "guy thing".I never say GD or JC, but look out for that BIG F!I don't have any kids, but thats no excuse. somethime i'm sure our neighbors hear me. I just don'tknow how to stop!  

Sumi, you crack me up.  I love your posts, your so open and honest.  I can comiserate with you on this one.  I too cuss quite a bit and in front of my children.  I have tried to stop but it seems impossible.  I try to change the words I use but somehow dang it or darn it just doesn't mean the same thing as DAMN IT or other swear word alternative!

The way I've tried to deal with my kids is tell them that it is not OK for them to use these words and it is not OK for grown ups either but sometimes when we get really upset we use words that we shouldn't.  I've given them permission to let me know when I've said something bad.  Now, I have to say this can sometimes become really annoying but this at least gives them the idea and a little bit of power.  I hope they get it.

I have also had some really interesting responses from them.  When my daughter was around 2.5 she picked up using damn it a lot.  I told her she could say darn it or dang it and I repeated them several times.  The next time she said darnit, darnit, darnit, dangit, darnit, dangit.  It was very cute but my message of using an alternate choice had somehow gotten lost in the translation.

By the way I love your comeback to hubby.  Why is it they see only our faults but not their own.  And at least my husband doesn't like it when I have a comeback for him when he criticizes me.

gettingagrip38155.4615393519

upwardbound!

that is SOO hilarious and adorable that your daughter was snatching away his cigs and breaking them. too cute!

my son does say that "thats a bad word mama"

i respond "yes it is son, i said a bad word. but that doesn' t mean you can. when you're grown up you can decide that"

LOL

you're daughter sounds very intelligent. when i was a toddler my mother told me that i hated cigarette smoking (apparently i was opinionated with a capital O even when i was a baby) and her friend came over and started smoking in my living room. i walked up to her..looked at her face and said "why are you doing that?"

"that is really nasty. i hate that smoke, you should stop it!"

LOL my mother i can imagine, was falling over herself to apologize about my big mouth.

kid stories are the best:

my son and i were in the grocery story a month ago and he was not minding me at all. i asked him repeatedly and nicely to keep his hands in the basket instead of running his fingers on all the items on shelves when we passed by. making a total mess. finally, exasperated, i said" henry ! do you speak english?"

henry: "si! mama!"

oh my goodness. i couldn't believe it. i didn't believe that he had such wit. he thinks he speaks spanish b/c my husband speaks it fluently..and some of his montessory teachers teach a couple of the words and phrases...

once i told my son he was being a 'bad boy' ( i regret that. i shouldn't say that. i'm probably going to hell sooner for that than saying the f word) he has a solid ego , self esteem.  he responded in kind "you're a bad mama"!

i almost cried!

 

I love the way you handle your hubby's comments!  These are not cuss words, but I have to tell you this....

I am not a cusser to much and I have taught my 5 yr old to say....

for shutup its hush or be quiet

for butt its hiney or tail

But when I mad I  can let them fly....and then I hear this little voice say 'Mama oohh, you said a bad word...you are not supposed to say that, that's ugly' then I catch myself...

But she wont let anyone say anything bad...and if they do she chimes right in and that is ugly!  She is such a mother hen!!  She is like a mini adult!  :)

She also got her dad to stop smoking....everytime she would stay with him for the weekend, he said he would have smokes come up missing...like 1/2 a pack at a time and he could not figure it out....so one day he told he he was going to the shower and he watched her down the hall....when he got out of her sight she would get his smokes and 1 at a time break them in half and throw them in the trash.  She would leave some in the pack and put them back on the table...so he was spending lots of money in smokes.............

Finally he stoped his bad habit as she calls it! 

 

I am in the same boat, cuss a lot, especially driving! I want to be there like now, and all the Sunday drivers are out. Have a time watching myself not to say something at the wrong time, quick to anger some days just grumpy all the time.

Oh my gosh . . . I swear like a truck driver!  And I tell people so so that they are not "shocked" or whatever.  I love to swear!  It's the best way I can express myself when I'm angry or upset or whatever.

My mother swore alot too.  Although, after all my research, I'm convinced she was also ADD. 

I remember in Junior High I got taken to the office for saying Sh!t in the hallway.  Oh you've got to be kidding, I remember thinking.  Of course, that was in the early 70's.  Oh but the "F" word!  Nothing says it quite like the "F" word!! 

sami,

that is too funny...your son sounds like a smart little booger hiself. 

get this. you know how I was bumed and totally unmotivated yesterday and earlier today...well, its like my brain suddenly swiched grears....unmotivated, unmotivated...bummed, bumed--then suddenly I get a burst of energy and start working away... suddenly  i have a burst of energy and feel great!  What's up with that?  I am not tired at all and feel great!!!

Does it just take me longer to get motivated or what?  And why the so sudden change? 

upwardbound

 

 

the f word has a special place in my heart!

i could fill a whole sentence...

my f'ing f'ck of a job keeps f'ing my social life! f'ck f'ck f'uckitty! f'uck!

i just get such satisfaction out of that word.

i'm sick. i can't even say "make love" without thinking that it is too romantic novel like. yes fabio! make love to me! i don't think so...

LOL

sumi