i wonder | ADHD Information

 

             chjones     > <>

                             From what I've read ADD is inherited from at least one

             parent and is an brain funtion that we have no control over.  This

             does not mean that we are helpless victims with no control over our

             lives.   If you are born with the potential for ADD you may go

             through your live with none of the effects from it.  If something

             ' triggers ' your ADD early in your life {PTSD, abuse, divorce et cetra}

             then your ADD brain kicks in.

 

                          The same sun that melts the wax

                                         also hardens the clay.

 

 

 

            

 

Agh Cricket?? I can't think of any of us being able to watch more than a minute of that slow, droll "sport".  Ugh.

As to your theory of lack of stimulus - nah don't think so.  It's very genetic - my father has it - and all my late paternal uncles had it.  They all became hermits and drank themselves to death in a vain attempt to hush the noise and not be scared of life.  Sad.

Social anxiety is a bitch isn't it?  I noticed a large number of us have it.  I sure do and I notice it only now that I'm on meds.  I walk into work functions or social events and my mind gets almost itchy and I beg myself to walk out right then and there.  I can override it but I feel the strain that used to make me follow my urges without question.  Now the urge is quiet and only whines and whispers to me occasionally.

I still hate getting into crowds but I can do it without flipping out.  Someday with more councilling I hope to enjoy it more.  Sometimes I find myself even enjoying it!

 

was just wondering whether the whole add adhd thing starts from a lack
of stimulus...

just considering all the fairly high iqs and how people have inferred that
going on the pills quietens the brain?

i know as a child i was very advanced for my age and they were
considering sending me to a school for smart kids when i was about six
or so... then decided against it and just shoved me up a year. and i think
i got bored, it wasn't challenging enough!

so i wonder whether one might not develop add as a response to that - to
give the brain something to do while sitting in a classroom having already
'got' it. i did not remain at the top of the class forever however - from
the age of about 11 i did worse and worse academically lost more and
more interest and being over sensitive to any form of criticism the
moment i did not get a top mark/was not top of the form/ it provoked a
negative reaction in me - making me markedly less interested, less
prepared to work on that particular subject. the subjects where the
teachers were particularly encouraging or even favoured me were
definitively the ones i excelled at and made (what little) effort i could.

also i always perform best under pressure, at the last minute, in an
intensive course, in an exam situation - i thrive. i finally feel connected
and logged on - my brain kicks in and i excel. i think that is why i quite
enjoy iq tests and the like (especially timed ones).

if the course is slow - as at university with plenty of free time (and also a
lot of self-discipline needed for self-study) i fail. i fail to turn up, i fail to
get anything done, i fail to have any interest because it is not high-
pressure enough.

if ever i see a course about which past students have said - hyper-
intensive, never enough time to do anything but study, loads of
information to process etc. etc. extremely hard work --- i know that is
the type of course in which i am likely to do well. something short, that
will grab my interest, that fills you with new knowledge in an extremely
high-pressure environment and limited timeframe.

is this an add trait?    

oh boy - the coyotes are hooOOOWWWLING....yes it is genetic (in fact i have it from both sides --- although my mother
doesn't have it - it runs deep in the male side of her family).

my uncle -maternal- was an amazing man in some ways. a classical
scholar who studied both at Oxford then Cambridge for his phd... an
amazing flautist (my mother also is grade 8 piano, organ, harpsichord)
but when he was told he had to go to work at the family factory up near
Liverpool --- he got so unhappy and sick that he actually developed
anorexia (very rare in a man in the late 50s) and finally just ran away.....
to Africa, Kenya.

he loved the openess and acceptance of the African people in contrast
with the 'bitchy' and sneering reaction he got from much of English
society.

he was very religious and that also runs in the family!!!! but he became
almost famous out there for his charitable work with refugees and his
adhd type traits!!!   including having the electricity in his house chopped
off over some principle or other.... but he died young, got run-over in
Canada when walking to give a UN lecture (on refugees) there in the early
morning.

it was one of his things --- he would rarely take a car anywhere, even if it
meant getting up three hours earlier he preferred to walk --- so i guess it
was pitch black, early in the morning and the car just wasn't expecting a
pedestrian on the road at that time.

We used just to be referred to as eccentrics which lumped us in with i
guess a lot of other high-functioning mentally aberrated people.   

But that whole side of the family have HUGE social problems. I don't
believe my grandfather managed more than four friends his entire life
and he was so defensive when meeting people, he used to insult them
almost immediately (i think to sort of give him a rational reason why they
wouldn't like him in the end - if that makes sense???). He was an author
and could give talks from a podium etc. but could NOT interact at all with
others in any 'social' form.

that whole side of the family (excluding my mother) have been barking
mad for generations! it's not that unsurprising that i didn't manage to
escape it.chjones38610.3879398148 [QUOTE=chjones]i have managed to grow about five foot eight and a bit inches. does that
count at all?[/QUOTE]

Of course! That makes you a grower, and my twin sister.

A sister...Obi Wan was wise to hider her from me...
  i think i am going over to the Dark Side...... (hmmm unlimited power and
knowledge mine for the taking - don't tempt me, don't tempt me!)chjones38610.3915972222Hey, I'll go too! I've got my  Lite Saver!

http://www.surefire.com/maxexp/main.pl?pgm=co_disp&fun c=displ&sesent=00&keyrf5=61&strfnbr=6&temp=c an_fly#gadgetboy

About half way down the page, paragraph titled "Gadget Boy"

Hey chJonesy, If I were in LA, I'd take you to dinner.
davido, thank you for offering to light my way - you are so
chivalrous!!

however, as much as i am sure i would appreciate your
company i have a feeling you are definitely heading in the
opposite direction.....(to the light, i mean!)??
so i guess i will attempt to navigate through the murky, faustian
depths on my lonesome!

as long as i have an e-gadget boy light thing - how can i go
wrong?chjones38611.4299768519Hey chJonesy,

So I'm your e-gadg-boy-thing now, huh?

Don't go so faust, eh? hehe

Thou Art Welcome


[QUOTE=chjones]davido, thank you for offering to light my way - you are so
chivalrous!!

however, as much as i am sure i would appreciate your
company i have a feeling you are definitely heading in the
opposite direction.....(to the light, i mean!)??
[/QUOTE]

when i read the opposite direction i initially thought 'wow, she thinks darth prefers other david's'!!   
if darth is heading into the light, where i am the centre of the universe, i will surely boot him back!!

chjones, you have an incredible story to tell!!  i love it!!


I smiled through so many posts..exactly exactly..blamed genetics parents

and the small talk...I have gotten in trouble lots.I just go blank..my eyes wander, I can't stop them, do yours do that?  I bring them back, they wander...unless the person is utterly brilliant or fascinating
Also, do you feel like you read people's minds sometimes? I mean their essence? So hard to take people at face value when their essence comes at you, WHAM in the face!

kids are interesting, always…even the poor little drones who are already pretty brainwashed, so  why are kids  interesting and most adults  just not? to me I mean. I think they must be interesting I just don't get it. When I talk to the kids it just all flows and I usually crack lots of jokes and turn it into a chance for some amusement (unless one of those dead serious ones, no blinking of eyes)

 

[QUOTE=Brookelea]chjones, you have an incredible story to tell!!  i love it!!


[/QUOTE]

OMG! Chjrissie! That's what you can do with your love for writing, your eclectic backgroudn (your were Queen for a day, right?) and your lack of direction!!!

DO NOT START MEDICATING YET

Unless you want to. Here's the experiment. See how many elf's you got (hehe).

Write an out line off line and one on line. Get my drift?

Once you come up with an outline, create instructions on how to create one for each elf out here, and how to fill them out, and sell them.

In the sales contract you request a first right of refusal to the publication rights, then put them all together in a series of books we can read to our kids at night, or shcool teachers like Brookelea & Barb can use in their specEd classes. Then the scarry stories put in a movie format and produce your movie for the Halloween market. We could call it "Twas the NIght B4 AD/HD" or something like that. Or not. Maybe not. Not NOT. NOT.

So what do you thingk? I'll be your firrst customer.
boy do i know what you mean about the group dynamic!!!! the possible worst ever thing is 'cocktail parties' (do you call them that/have those in the US?? or is it a peculiarly British form of torture?)

these are just the worst.... stuck in a room with a bunch of other people to walk around with a glass of headache-inducing white wine in your hand and have to make talk? whaaat?

i can feel my brain shriveling into a painful walnut the moment i walk into one, my whole body seems to get 40% drier... and then the pounding starts as my shrivelled brain rattles around in my skull with every brain-numbing hello so what/who/how and fake rictus-grin stuck to my face so i at least look like i am trying to be nice (in fact i probably look like a snarling corpse!).... especially as the question of 'so what do YOU do?' is inevitable from all apart from the most socially adept who can manage a conversation without having to stoop to that bollocks level of question... aaaaarrrrgh

who could have invented this torture?

no, i know lots of people love the sociability of them. i can like them sometimes if i can find someone who can make me laugh - then i can cope otherwise forget it! i would rather set my hair on fire.a midget on the Mayflower, eh (well, they would have to be British who
else could perfect such a barbaric ritual in the name of enjoyment? we
are just too good at that - ever watched a game of cricket hmm)

in fact, apparently one has finally managed to finish recently hurrah!
celebrations all round - and what's more we won double hurrahs and
celebrations all round.

if you want to know what i am talking about google 'the ashes'! i mean
the stupid game had started way before i left to come over here........ this
is months later the same match has only just managed to come to some
sort of resolution! hahaha - stuff you, aussies.

persistence - that's the key. we kept them over in England so long they
got fed up and lost just so they could go home. it's starting to get a bit
cold over there, you see. couldn't stand the weather....

ahh, back to the weather again. so yes, midgets and there i was thinking
it was brain sucking, life-force draining aliens that invented small talk.
just goes to show what you can learn on the internet!

all the best


    ch > >   >

                       Yes we have cocktail parties here,
    but they usually use   some othe inane label
    to throw the unawares off track.   
    
                Small talk, I hate it too. I always feel like a
    moron, blabering on about some idiotic subject
    like sports or the weather {everyone talks about
    the weather, but nobody does anything about it.
    Samual Clemens }. I just discovered who did
    invent small talk, It was these midgets see,
    brought over on the Mayflower and . . .
    

    Set your hair on fire !    I'd like to be there for that,
    ha.
    well i definitely inherited mine from my father... without doubt. a classic
case. could never get ANYTHING finished - a fairly talented architect but
would anyone employ him --- no, and why would they when the job
would never get done on time and oh, i don't know.

could he ever remember anything? no. did my mother have to do
absolutely everything. yes. could she rely on him for the slightest thing.
no.

she never lost her temper in front of us (the children) but i do remember
one evening all she had asked my father to do was bring back some
spaghetti (he worked in town) we lived in the country. and my mother
never normally even bothered to bother asking him - but i think this one
time she thought rather than having to leave the children alone and 45
minutes into town and 45 minutes back --- i will ask my husband.

of course, he arrives home and my mother goes and can i have the
spaghetti to finish making the supper. no spaghetti. my mother did not
say a word - she just walked out the kitchen - jumped in the car and
gravel flying she screeched out the house and didn't come back for four
hours....

i can imagine now she just sat and sobbed somewhere with the stress of
it. of course, my father had no idea what was wrong - his typical
response 'women - never understood them...'

an entirely classic case - absolutely hopeless never made a penny in his
entire life, all our income came from my mother, all our holidays were
paid for and organised by her, she took us to school, she got our clothes,
my father never attended a single PTA, or knew anything about our
school/friends/what was going on with us (i mean my eldest sister was
anorexic for four years and he had no clue!) and even now - if i was in
trouble i would never conceive of phoning my father because as
concerned as he would be --- he wouldn't be able to get anything
done!!!! whereas i still know i can rely on my mother to get me out of any
jam in a matter of minutes probably....

so i know where it comes from - that's for sure! my father has it worse
than i do. not that he has ever been diagnosed or anything...

i don't know what triggered mine (i remember being that way as long as i
can remember).

i think you are right though --- it is almost like a defence mechanism the
whole add thing. a detachment as a defence.

(i often wonder whether adders were the ones who came out alright from
horrific places like the trenches in WW1 being able to detach as we can
--- and those that came out suffering shell-shock and permanently
mentally damaged from the constant bombardment were those who
couldn't escape by means of add-detachment and their souls/brains
became damaged by having to bear the full brunt of the sensory overload
and senseless brutality)

i do feel slightly when i am in full add-mode that i am retreating from the
world. that i can go further and further away into hibernation - that it
seems a bit like an outdated survival technique to be able to exist on the
minimum. and when i am less add- that i am re-engaging and actually
living life rather than surviving it... kinda thing.

boy what am i talking about --- i don't know i'll work it out eventually.

yeah, i know just what you mean by retreating. when i'm stressed, i'll often hole up for long periods of time, whenever possible.

when i have to be 'out in the world', i am usually withdrawn and keep to myself. i think anyone around me when this is going on thinks i'm a snob. or when i'm intent on getting something done, i look like i'm mad. many times, i am extra intense b/c it's so hard to stay on track. it seems to make many people uncomfortable with me.

i also notice, it is hard for me to not notice any little movement around me. out of the corners of my eyes, i catch every little flash of light, every blade of grass twitching in the wind, every bird or cloud or car.... it makes it really hard to keep my mind on what i'm doing, even if it's just watching tv. talk about bombardment.

for this reason, i try as much as possible to work alone, or work when the fewest number of people(at these times they are just distractions) are around. i interrupt myself enough, i don't need them too!

sometimes intense interactions keep me focused, and i can work with people then, but usually it just causes me to drift off, and it's hard to stay on the same page as anyone else.

for instance, even when i go out with friends for a hike, i always end up separated, off in my own little world. me and nature.

i frequently back out of weekend camping trips b/c it's too stressful to spend that much time around people, and try to keep with the group dynamic for more than a few hours at a time. i always end up getting labeled as anti-social. i'm usually the first to be kicked off the team. it's almost impossible to be a 'team player' in their terms. i don't want to be a sheep, but i wish i had a little more control over myself in the group dynamic, and could be more reliably a team player when it would be the preferable option.

they also considered me for adv. classes when i was young. the reason they didn't place me in them was although i was intellectually ahead of the class, my penmanship and work habits were behind enough that i probably would not have performed well enough to merit it.

i was one of those kids that rarely did any homework, but in class, and on tests, i knew all the answers and then some. i frustrated the hell out of the high achievers b/c my grades were low, and then i'd come in and test just as high as the top students. imagine their disbelief when the 'd' student regularly stole their place as the high exam score!

i think my dad was add too, or suffered from depression, maybe both. he was alcoholic, and i used to blame this for all his characteristics. he made good money, worked for chrysler over 30 yrs., but his lifestyle sure did not reflect it. we were mostly estranged from the time i was 18 until his death 5 yrs ago, near 20 yrs. my mum held it all together too, but her challenge, i think, was less than your mum's

also, i hate to admit it, but i think i feel more normal when i'm under the gun. i have started to wonder since the add dx how much this has to do with my: inability to pay my bills on time, get along with people, meet any kind of deadline, pay my taxes, keep a job, even do my laundry!

Hey cjhonies,

You have abundant handlefting abilities.

Have you written your play yet?

How far did you get today?

Did you make it to the beach?

Did you start a new business?

C'mon, cjch, we could get ricjh, you know.

What's your background? Can you sell? Can you grow? Can you sell what you grow? Can you grow what you sell?


i have managed to grow about five foot eight and a bit inches. does that
count at all?