please help | ADHD Information

I have just recently decided to go see a psych dr to see if I am in fact add.  Havent discussed it with my hubby yet as I dont know how he will react.  I have a hard time focusing and concentrating, finishing tasks and am depressed all the time.  I am currently on zoloft 5 mg a day and it just isnt helpig anymore with my depression.  I am having at least one panic attack a day and now the only time I leave my bed when hubby is home is to get on the computer.  I am not one that is good at remembering pills, I have been taking my zoloft only cuz my hubby knows if he dont remind me he is in for one heck of a day with me.  I have a 6 year old with adhd/odd and my two year old prob has it too.  he has all the signs.  I am not that hyper, lately just been tired and depressed. 

Any suggestions? 

 I am 30 years old and delt with depression for 10 years and other symptoms all my life.. I was raised by parents who told you to deal with it, or it is all in your head.

you know a kinda fun but informative place to start is just the posting
here 'you know you have add if....'

it's light-hearted but if you read around the general tone of the posts i
guess you will either feel THAT'S ME!!! or hmmm, yeah could be.

it's nothing to be scared of, though. knowing you have it - and what? it
can only change things for the better because there is adderell and ritalin
and all those other things to make it better it you so choose to go down
that route.

i am extremely NEW to this site (maybe four days even) and although i
have been diagnosed add by a psychiatrist i have not yet started taking
any medication (i just have the prescription in my back pocket while i
think about it.....)

it could be depression in your case or it could be add. add is something
one tends to have had for ones entire life though...

either way, you have come to a nice site here. and there is nothing to
worry about. a lot of people here are adhd/add and PROUD of it. you go,
girl! it can only get better - right?

Thank you I am also new to this sight, a week ago I started.  Its not that I feel ashamed, I have two kids with adhd.  Its just that taking meds makes it final for me.  I no that something is not right with me and I want to be a better person, wife, mother...etc.  thank you for your help.

Its good to no I am not alone!!

also welcome....

Glad to see you here!

Make sure you keep that Dr.'s appointment.  Many of your symptoms may be ADHD - but it also sounds like you have other things - called "co-morbidities" to deal with.  Social anxiety is a big one - comes with ADHD for a lot of us.  Makes us break into a sweat when dealing with almost anyone new or unusual.  Anxiety in general is a symptom of ADHD - we don't do well with new and unusual things and we work very hard to keep things the same even if it's unhealthy for us.

Stick around here - we'll help you deal with whatever comes your way!

 

Good luck to you my new friend,

 

- Glen

first- you are not alone!

in all my research, what you describe is normal for us.

i have been what you are going through, and still deal with plenty of depression.

i've been on several different meds, first to treat depression, then later (yrs later!) found some things about adult add that opened my eyes, and gave me a way to understand what my whole life was about.

many of the add behaviours were getting me into life situations that eroded any self-esteem i ever attained. all the distractability, coupled with short temper, spaciness, general flakiness make it hard for some of us to like ourselves very much, especially with this 'winner' oriented society we live in.

zoloft might not be the right rx for you. besides, you probably have some good reasons to feel bad, and no amount of any meds is going to be enough w/out being lethal. meds will help, but not cure either add or depression. thay can be useful, even a life-saver, but at best are only part of the solution.

but much of the answer lies within accepting that you are not now, never have been, or ever will be what you imagine to be the ideal person.

but you can come to accept you are perfect as you are in the sense you are what you are, you are aware that you need new tricks to cope with the real demands of life, and whatever you see as weaknesses/flaws can be come to be seen more positively, as strengths in many cases, and as quirks in the rest.

if you go to the dr., or get counseling, or read and educate yourself, that is all covered under the general category of 'it's in your head' (isn't that where your brain is?), and it is dealing with it. denying or avoiding the facts or the truth would be not dealing with it.

take some time and read posts on this site in any thread topic that catches your eye. i guarantee you will see yourself in almost every post!

get to your library and read some books on both depression and add. you will know the truth when you see it. hallowell and hartmann are 2 authors whose work i highly reccommend.

i promise you, that you will eventually have more up time, and less down time.

Thank you so much guys....I havent yet made the first step to make an appointment.  My son has his monthly psych app on the 16th and I thought about seeing if I could get an appoint with him or around his time.  Or taking a couple of minutes to see if she had someone to recommend me to, as she is a child psych. 

I am mostly a very happy person and you are right seeker I do have reasons to feel sad as there is so much in my life going on right now, Zoloft is not working as well as i would like it to.  It is the fourth med I have tried for depression.  The best I tried was paxil but it has a side effect that I dont want (lack of sexual desire)  I am married and I dont need that on top of everything else. 

Glen-what are co-morbodities? 

Thank you all so much it has been a great help having friends just like myself that can give advice on things because you have been through it, not because you are shooting from the hip like my friends and family seem to do.

i don't know.... maybe it is different for everyone but the moment i read
about add and looking at this site - i KNEW that that was exactly what
had been happening to me my entire life...

i always was aware of my reaction/different attitude in my life in
comparison to others but it just didn't have a name. reading about ADD
just gave a name to symptoms i was already well aware of...

i would hesitate just on your unsure reaction alone to think that you had
ADD - having said that i am NO expert and what is more, who knows
whether the adderell or ritalin might cure whatever isn't right with you
anyway??? there is obviously something stopping you being at ease and
happy, pro-active and well in yourself.

what do you think it is???? i often think we in fact DO know ourselves the
best. do YOU think it is depression, repressed trauma, spiritual
unhappiness, stress or what? with two small children i am sure life could
get very exhausting - perhaps you need to cut yourself some slack. have
a holiday for a weekend - a getaway with a friend to the coast or
something to entirely take you away from yourself, your family (as much
as you love them), your responsibilities --- just to have a total break???

thank you very much for the welcome --- i am such a gobsh*te i am
gonna have to stop posting before i rant myself into a greasespot on the
ground tho!

I am different than others, I do also have a lot of stress. But I also think I worry too much about things, but yet I still do it.  A vacation?  Oh God that would be great, but I couldnt leave my hubby alone with the kids to take care of as he is always in his own little world, tried the vacation once, and ended up making things worse, you see my hubby is a lot younger than me and hasnt grown up in all ways yet.  Beside, I am one of those that think things wont be done right unless I do it myself, especially when it comes to our kids.  Mostly because of our 6 year old, with his adhd/odd, people make bad comments to him and it pisses me off.  He doesnt mean to be naughty or hyper, honostly if he wasnt like that he wouldnt be my cute and dear chris.  I love him just the way he is.  He is much better now he is on his meds but people dont forget how he was.  i want to rant and yell give him a fricking break..

well, here I go rambling myself. 

 

Any way I know its depression, i do have anxiety depression, have for years, I do think it is add, but whether it is add or adhd I have no clue.

 

hello bridget.... your life does seem stressful.

and i am just gonna stick my neck out here (and please feel free to ignore
this advice, it's amateur and just my bs opinion). but if what you need is
a vacation just some TIME...

... to recharge, to re-humanise to allow yourself some normality and
lightness, to have a break - then I think that is better than trying to
medicate....?

could you look into maybe some way - let the children stay with their
grandmother or something (it's impossible for me to imagine the
complications as i am single and without children so i don't mean to be
obtuse or anything...)????

and it is obvious that you do have an imbalance chemically - so whatever
you feel is best.

i would imagine it has a lot to do with control issues and not being able
to let go... maybe learning to accept that the world will not fall apart the
moment you relax your grip.

take a deep breath, it's fine - it will keep on turning, your kids will be
ok....

well, what do i know about anything. and you are going to see a
professional so that's the main thing. and there are so many switched on
supportive people here...

whereas i just like to ramble on.

good luck with it all
cj

I just  spoke to hubby about getting tested and he pretty much told me I was crazy.....what a support system I have here at home...thank God for all of you!!

Chjones:  No really, I do appreciate your insight. Unfortuately I dont speak with my mother...and my father is not capable to take the kids as he has bad knees, and they are hard to keep up with.  My sister would take them for a day or two I am sure If I just asked...I just hate putting my kids  off on her as she does so much.

But you are right I do need a break.  My husband may not go for it as he is weird that way, but who knows, maybe after I go to get evaluated he may wake up.

Thank you again for your help

he's right! you are crazy! that's why you need to get tested, so that you can start enjoying it!

Yeah no sh*t huh....he told me that if I am add that so is he and about everyone else he knows, and then rolled over and went to sleep.  I am so mad at him right now I could just hit him while he sleeps. 

But I am used to his ignorance by now we have been together for 4 years. 

At any rate I guess I really dont care what he thinks as long as I get help.

Good way of looking at it seeker

 

hey brig, i'd watch your kids. i'm outside of denver, so i know that probably won't help. but if it would, i'm serious!

somethin' will work out. this is one of those 'ask and ye shall recieve' situations.

Thanks seeker, but I have never been to Denver.  I love my kids but they are a handful....no kidding. when I can figure out how to download picture from my dig camera I will let you know what they can do in less than 5 minutes...it is not pretty. 

 

the diff. between having add characteristics (read: human), and having add is the extent to which it negatively impacts your life.

you know, like all heavy drinkers are not neccesarily alcoholics. but if a person is an alcoholic, then  life is a tiring mess, esp. by the time one figures it out.

that's tough - specially as it might have been nice to go WITH your sister.

i know i am really close with mine and she is just the person to go and
chill out with... no need to be sociable or polite, no need to explain
anything, just someone to do something fun with and have a laugh to
swim, to walk, to eat, to see, maybe to giggle about all the stupid things
that happen maybe not... someone who you can go out to a bar with and
have fun flirting with complete strangers as an ego boost - but who
knows it's just FUN, who will look out for each other even if a bit drunk -
and go back and fall on a hotel bed laughing together...

all that kinda good stuff. i think it is so important. important for
retaining the balance in ones other primary relationships... that people
have sources outside, friends and family to rely on, get input from, get
love from...

yeah all of that. well i don't know - why don't you talk to your sister
about it and see if the TWO of you can't plan a weekend away somehow.
maybe even just the planning could be fun in itself - the crazy ideas even
if one can't make it.... can make one smile with the thought of
possibilities.

i am stopping now --- i have to learn when to stop with the yakking for
goodness sake! but hope all goes well with the dr. visit.

as seeker said - hey if you're crazy all the more reason to go!!!! i think it
is what is termed a win-win argument.

the diff. between having add characteristics (read: human), and having add is the extent to which it negatively impacts your life.

you know, like all heavy drinkers are not neccesarily alcoholics. but if a person is an alcoholic, then  life is a tiring mess, esp. by the time one figures it out. 

I had to read that 4 times b4 I got it.....but very true.  Thanks

Chjones....I dont mind the babbling....I do it.  Besides it is all meant well.  I will talk with my sis

Thanks you guys

Oh by the way seeker I live in Onalaska, WI.  Is it as pretty there as it is here?