Banned to the house~~again
Hello! Barb is correct. As a parent, you can request a new IEP and have behavior mods added to it. This should not be a problem, at all. As far as putting him in a "special education class all day," I'm assuming you mean a behavior modification class. That's not a bad idea, if his behavior is out of control in a regular classroom. Behavior modification classes are much smaller than regular ed classrooms, and they are usually staffed with at least one teacher and at least one aide, so the kids receive a great deal of one-on-one attention. How quickly kids are placed in behavior modification classes varies greatly from one district to the next. Many schools will not place kids in a behavior modification class without trying behavior mods in the regular ed classroom first. They also may insist on having your son evaluated and observed in the classroom by a school psychologist. But, if you are interested in this placement for your child, discuss it with the school. If you are uncomfortable about the placement and the type of classroom he will be in, ask if you can come and observe the behavior modification classroom and meet with the teacher/s to discuss your concerns.
Also, I agree with psm that bipolar manifests differently in children than in adults. I am very curious what the dx from Children's will be. Do you have any idea when you will get a dx?
Did you know that you can request an IEP meeting with the purpose of adding behavior mods to it? Just send a letter to the person in charge of them requesting a meeting.
devoted, there is a path for all, not just for the well behaved.. many of these kids turn out just fine when they start to mature and outgrow much of their behavioural issues.. i see it all the time!! all the kids where i work have severe behavioural issues but many of them seem to graduate just fine.. it takes time, a lot of structure, discipline and patience.. you will need the find the right schooling environment to suit him.. remember that not all schools suit all kids..
When my son was in pre-school (church) he couldn't watch Barney videos with the other children because he couldn't sit still. He got to help wash dishes or dust the pews. Even then he was bopping the other children up side the head.....nothing has changed.He was dx when he was four years old....severe ADHD/ODD by a child psychiatrist (he's now almost ten). We have had meds AND all kinds of therapy and practiced all kinds of behavior mods, none of which ever worked. We have had one appt. at Children's Hospital about a month ago with another scheduled for Oct. 4. He does have an IEP, but we have nothing in it for disciplining his poor behavior. I've read and read all the criteria for BP and I just don't see it. I never see the depressed part. He's almost always "high". I've wondered if his screaming in my face was the depression. I dunno. He doesn't seem to have the extreme highs or extreme lows that seem to describe BP the most. SURELY, the team of doctors at TX Children's Hospital will come up with the right dx AND get us started on the meds THEY think will make a difference. We've tried everything that there is to try. He's NINE!! What's going to happen to him when I have a nervous breakdown??oh boy - i feel so sorry for you devo.what does he say? does he ever look into his own condition and say i
think i have this. does he have access to books to work it out - and say
mom, this is what i feel i have?
does he say he feels better on some drugs than others. he may well not
be adhd but i was pretty self-aware by the time i was nine that's for sure.
maybe he could give you some clue or indication as to how to help him.
because it sounds awful for you.Boy,do I feel for you.My son is 6 and was just diagnosed with ADHD. He was kicked out of 2 daycares before he was 4 years old due to behavior. Feel free to e-mail me.
Devoted,
I'm sorry you're going through this. It's never easy. Can you remind me -- what is his dx? What kind of doctor dx him? Is he on any meds? Does he have an IEP or 504 accommodations at school?
When does this end? We had the most horrible morning here; hateful, snotty, smart-alec, defiant, etc. Finally gfg got off to school, but of course, my day was ruined. SO, about an hour before getting him at school, I decided to start over. I got into the shower, reshowered, re-did hair and makeup, changed into different clothes....trying to shake the attitude. I walked to the school to get ds and the teacher comes out and wants to talk. Great...just great. It seems the morning wasn't too bad in class for him, but the afternoon was he**. He calls other children names, doesn't do his work, etc. He wasn't allowed to participate in recess (the last 30 min. of the school day), but he got to sit there and watch. I just plain don't know what to do anymore! For the moment, I've forbidden him to go outside at all for the rest of the day. Maybe he belongs in special ed all day, every day, so that he won't bother anyone and he'll get his school work done. He's ONLY nine years old...OMG, what's the rest of his life going to be like? I know he's got problems, but what do I say to the school? What do I say to these children that he's being so mean to? How on God's green earth am I going to get his behavior to change?????? We've tried every behavior modification that has ever been suggested by psychologists, psychiatrists, family therapists, etc. for the last five years. There is absolutely nothing that has worked for more than a day.
I forgot too. Wasn't he supposed to see a NeuroPsych? He does sound like a bipolar kid more than an ADHD kid and ODD doesn't stand alone, no matter what is in the DSM. ODD is usually bipolar, if it is very severe. Behavioral modification, as you can see, does not help these kids. He is not responding to it or the ADHD/ODD stuff and he probably, imo, doesn't have either. Meds are the only thing that help a bipolar kid and, imo again, he is classic. You should again imo check THAT out because without the right meds, I doubt anything will get better. Been there and done that. It's a hard dx. to accept, but it beats getting the wrong treatment and dealing with what you are going through. Again, I urge you to look at this link.
I just sat and cried tonight. He is either an angel or a devil! There is nothing in between. He is great one morning and the next it is an hour of hell until I get him out the door. He is a kid who makes messes with milk and cereal while I am in the shower....put soap on the kitchen floor to make it slippery so he could dance...dumps my pop out for no reason....and destroys toys on a whim.
He also is mean and will kick me out of the blue. He says horrible things to me. Then when he wants to go outside right after, I try to explain that the behavior does not warrant a reward. He says I'm done now. I won't do it now. It' over. He doesn't think he should have consequences.
I feel abused. I would not take it from a man but I take it from my 7 year old child and it is getting harder and harder.
I've tried to find patterns in his behavior...find something that sets him off....he says he doesn't know why he just kicked me. Two minutes later he'll want to sit on my lap and cuddle. I feel like I am living in a nightmare.
We have an appointment with a neuropsych in November. We go to weekly counseling but that is not going great. He keeps asking my son what I do that angers him.
I also want to run away from home.
But tomorrow is Saturday and I'll go and try to have fun with him at the park so I can continue for another week.I know we are blessed in a lot of ways but, not knowing from one moment to the next what he'll do is so emotionally consuming.
Sillymom,
I'm sure November sounds so far away to you right now - but I am so glad to hear you have an appointment with a neuropsych. Just keep telling yourself you will get to the bottom of things and be able to take steps to try to change things. I feel so bad for you and all parents & the children who have these terrible mood changes. Here is a hug...all I can offer and I hope your weekend give you the courage to get through another week.
. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is a tough one to deal with, particularly if the children have violent tendencies. I will be very interested in finding out what the doctors suggest and the medications they decide to use. Please keep me posted. Many hugs. My son was first dx when he was four ADHD/ODD (unbelievable "mother abuse"), again at age seven ADHD/ODD, he's currently ten years old. He's now had one appt. for testing at TX Children's Hospital and another scheduled for Oct. 4. It's our understanding that perhaps at that time a team of doctors will give their dx. He was tested and "analyzed" by the school's diagnostician last December and as a result has an IEP, but it doesn't contain any direction for behavior. I've not called for a change of any kind in the IEP till we are through with the dx at the hospital. I KNOW his meds aren't right. I weaned him off all four that he was taking during the school year last year so I could see behaviors that might have been covered up for five years, thus the reason for the med wash. I couldn't STAND being around him, so right now he's on a minute amount of Methylphenadate till the testing is done. I don't want to have to take the time to wean him off alot of meds before being able to start something the hospital may suggest. After talking with one doctor after the first round of tests, he says he suffers from Fetal Alcohol Effects.
Our son was adopted by us at birth. His bio parents were young, the bio ftr was in prison. We know very little about the mother's background (though her mtr. was a drug addict for sure). The bio father we've known since he was a child. He's in prison again now, too. He has undx ADHD and more. All the signs were there when he was a child, but his family had no insurance, etc. so nothing much was done. He's a severe alcoholic and now everyone wonders if he's bipolar, too, but no one knows for sure.
I just know that someone has to help us. My son is going to have a horrible future and right now I don't like him very much. I KNOW it's the disorder, but having DAILY events of mom-bashing and school disruptions and the screaming in my face and the defiance and all the rest (that this site isn't large enough to have me tell you)......I'm not sure I can continue. I love him dearly and I've been tough for almost ten years, but this is a train wreck waiting to happen. I appreciate all of your suggestions and most of all I appreciate you letting me come here to vent so that I don't run away from home.
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