[QUOTE=Brookelea]pilgrim, your postings have been therapeutic for me.. its your openess and willingness to discuss that has made me realise that there are ppl out there who don't pretend that everything is wonderful..
thanks for your honesty..
[/QUOTE]
i totally agree brookelea!!! well put
ditto brig!! its like a whole new world.. there is no way that ppl that i associate with would want to see this side of me, or if they did, they might not like it..
brig, I was talking to my sister about this the other day, we both have similair problems [ie relating to people and trusting them]. She just shared with me more about her childhood that I had never knew about. It was so sad.
My therapist [God Bless her] is like the kindly, wise Aunt I never had [or mother for that fact] when I was growing up. She helps me to see that I can stand back from the way I respond now to stressers and see that was the same way I responded in my childhood to survive. It was a survivial instinct that I needed then, and was the only way I had to survive. The problem of course is that I still use those same responces automaticly now to stressers. I can't get passed these lifelong habits that I don't even think about. Ever so slowly there are times when the light goes on, ever so dimly, and I can see a different way, a better way to think and respond to my DW yelling or disaproval. 
well if you ever need to talk i am here and everyone here is great. i wish you the best with your thereapy and no that you are not alone.
you are great and wise........
brig
I tried to find ' other ' but didn't see it anywhere. ![]()
Depending of what the source is, I will choose one of two
ways to deal with stress/tension.
If it's with my DW I used to withdraw and just shut down,
but with help from my therapist, I'm learning I have the
right to stand up for myself and not be treated like a door
mat. If it's @ money, that one is harder do deal with, and
just want to find a hole to crawl in and cry. &n bsp; 
pilgrim...your therapist is right you are not a door mat and do need to stand up for yourself....you are also not alone on the money thing either as i want to crawl into a hole sometimes as well
brig ! Brook !
Thank for your words of kindness, I really need them now [as if there's a time when I would refuse them
].
brig, maybe your friend is going through one of those ten steps [or however many their are] of denial. It took DW a year to accept my ADD DX, and there are still times she questions it.
Having a best friend you can talk to and cry to is worth more than just about anything!just curious, if you do something on here please respond so we can all have a chance to learn other waysit wouldnt let me put s*x in this one.....ha hai probably vent but its not effective... just a temporary release and then i
brig ! Brook !
Thank for your words of kindness, I really need them now [as if there's a time when I would refuse them
].
brig, maybe your friend is going through one of those ten steps [or however many their are] of denial. It took DW a year to accept my ADD DX, and there are still times she questions it.
[/QUOTE]
who knows she might be....my dh is still in denial and he and i fight about it all the time.....he just tells me it is not adhd it is that i am crazy...aarrrgghhh, i tell him he is lucky i am not crazy or i would choke him.