in tears again.... | ADHD Information
chjones -- sorry you feel so bad. Remember -- the feeling will pass. You've probably felt bad before, right? You got through... you will again.May I ask how old you are?
What is it that you are worried about not having achieved?
Anway -- "achievement" is a capitalist plot! Whose interests does it serve when our self-worth gets all tied up in how much we produce? Who is it, really, that wants to make us feel like sh*t if we "waste time?" Who benefits most from our puritan work ethic?
I remember going to an exhibit once at a natural history museum about a particular group of ancient Native Americans. It talked about how they gathered food for half the year, and the other half of the year was spent in "religious and recreational activities." And we are supposed to be an advanced civilization?
I get that you want to be able to achieve more. Fine. Goals are good. But please don't mix "achievement" with whether or not you are a valuable person. That's propaganda. Don't buy into it.
so i'm not the only one estranged from family?
Hi Jones, I'm sorry to hear that you have been in despair. The saddest thing is that you think you have done so badly or have been a failure. As Wordwoman said, the "ideals & standards" that we are indoctrinated w/at an early age in this society are all bs and I know it's tough to get by that but there is a whole other way of thinking...you're a success because you've made it this far and you're introspective.
Your mother, well, that's messy. I left home at 16 took a plane 3000 miles away and never went back. I'm incommunicado w/them and I couldn't even respond when my brother's wife sent me a card last year with pics of their 2 daughters reaching out to make contact. So I can’t talk.
I have felt as you have, why even stick around? and it took me almost 2 years
to take meds after figuring out the adhd cause I was so confused, this is what
a lifetime of despair, trauma, screw ups and failure not to mention oddball
behaviour was all about? I lucked out and the first med I took showed me what I
hadn't had my whole life.
I have to agree with some dr.'s, I don't think adhd on its own creates the really negative stuff, it's the surroundings/people around the child/adult that creates the bad problems, a person who could just be themselves and be accepted and loved like that is probably okay in many cases. I hope you can get some alternative help if not meds, you don't deserve to suffer
oh wordwoman and sabina --- thank you!
thank you very much honey-bunnies.... i have to remember that. i just get so upset every time i talk with my mother i get consumed by guilt, really.
and it overwhelms me, the feeling of failure and uselessness. I am 34 now (way too old to be stressing about this but in a lot of ways I am still so immature).
I often think, like you sabina, that half of this trip to LA was to get as far away, finally, as i possibly could from my family --- and on some levels i think it IS working.
occasionally i do feel as if i am getting control of my life --- instead of constantly worrying that i am not living up to expectations and am a rubbish failure.
the truth is though - i love my family, i couldn't divorce myself from them in any way. but this distance is probably good for my mental health for a while...
"But please don't mix "achievement" with whether or not you are a valuable person. That's propaganda. Don't buy into it."
man I AM GONNA PIN THAT ON MY FRIDGE.........!! thanks cj x
have you tried medication in the past and had a bad experience? i am sorry to hear that you are getting so much slack for making your own decision. and it is your decision.
i truly hope you are feeling better. we are all on your side you have great friends here.
Girl - you are SO hard on yourself!
You have a problem that you never created. Remember that first and foremost. You didn't give yourself ADHD - nor did you contribute to it. Would you put blame on yourself if you'd been born with sickle cell anemia, or leukemia, or something similar??
One problem is that even we with ADHD have trouble compartmentalizing what we have - where does it go?? Is it a personality flaw or a disease? Well it's NOT a personality flaw!! I didn't have a choice in having this and neither did you!
As to taking the meds - you should allow yourself to take them! If you have thyroid troubles they give you iodine or human growth hormone. If you have a deformed leg they perform surgery and put a brace on it. Why not allow yourself to avail yourself of the modern medical treatments for what you have?
You're a good person with a bad disorder! Why not allow yourself to shine through the darkness?? Allow yourself to let go of the feelings of guilt and shame - this is not your fault and you don't need to go it alone!
Without my meds I know I'd have been doomed to repeat all the mistakes I made before. Over, and over and over again. Why do that when there are options?
We care about you!! Care about yourself enough to get the help you need!
I hurt my parents in the past too. They cried buckets of tears as I was a child - and long into my adult life too as they watched me helpless to assist me. Once I got help and explained who I was and am - they are my best friends! They let go of the pain and hurt and so have I. I hope you can too!
Don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it - I can be here and so are everyone here too!
- Glen
thanks gleni don't know WHY i have an issue with taking the medication. i really don't --- i know it is connected with a feeling that it will impair my spirituality and that side of me.
it's so true that for so long i have seen my ADD as a personality flaw, as a result of laziness and lack of self-discipline and something that i should be able to correct if i could just get enough backbone or something to overcome it. i have always seen it as a flaw in my character that i could not overcome it --- that was my weakness and it was all a question of WILL/of just pushing myself harder.
that is why it was weird considering it as 'laziness' - because in every other aspect of my life --- i am NOT lazy. i am the first to offer to help out, i love walking for miles and enjoy physical tasks that make me tired, that make my muscles ache --- it energizes me! i enjoy them. i can also keep going on an endurance level --- for example we were filming late into the night a few days ago and i was happy to keep on... everyone was flaking but i felt fine, i can push it then... i just can't push it when i am working AGAINST myself. that's when i lose. not outside obstacles but inner ones. and i know that is exactly what the meds would address (those pain in the butt inner obstacles).
and thanks, brig too --- no, i have never had a bad experience on medication. in fact i know adderall would suit me well (actually that's not true when i come to think about it - i did once have a terrible experience with some super-strong grass which i was offered when up in Canada, funnily enough, up in the Queen Charlotte Islands and i started to hallucinate and all --- it was awful.)
but that isn't the reason i am against taking the medication. i guess i am just SO used to the way i am and feel i should be able to overcome this and honestly i just DON'T KNOW why i don't take them..... i really DON'T KNOW, i seem not to feel to want too, really feel that i don't want to but i don't know why.
it could just be my natural destructive streak that does not want me to get better. that side of me i tend to fight - i don't know, i really don't know --- there is nothing logical or intellectual about my decision.
is it that same destructive streak that anorexics feel when they are starving themselves? is it the same destructive tendency that causes someone (i read about recently - a mormon guy killed his sister-in-law and young child) to kill someone because they believed that god told them to do it?
can we only rely on intellect? am i going down a path of madness if i start to listen too much to my 'inner voice' that feels so strongly against the medication. is that 'inner voice' a good thing or a bad thing? is it just madness or what?
whatever it is --- i think i am driving myself MAD!!!! (not to mention boring this board to the death, too) i need to get out more, obviously. too much time thinking about these things is enough to drive anyone potty.
i hope there is a funny film on --- i think i need some humour just to get a little perspective in my life.
thanks very much all though - for your kind posts. i think this board is great.
and not only have i downloaded my film (twice - because i then effed up saving somehow all wrong so i had to do it again - tant pis) but have started working on it!!!!!!!! hooray!
woohoo davidornado (if you're reading) does that mean i won then?
ooooh it's thundering.......
Dear Christine,
On a very serious note, I'm sorry you feel so bad. You're scaring us with the suicidal thoughts -- very ADD of you.
Don't let her get to ya. She's probably got ADD, too. I'm still the black sheep of the squadron, and felt like you do. Keyword: felt. You'll cope. You know, you have.
Hang in there, our Dear Friend,
David 
oh boy another BIG peal of thunder. i think it is the canyons, it kinda reverberates around them so sounds twice as long.
i thought it never rained in LA ----- hah! complete myth -
It sounds to me like you should avoid talking to your mother for a while. Or keep it to small talk. If you don't have ADHD you can read about it as much as you want you will never know what it is to live thru it. Don't be made at her for not anderstanding. And don't be made at you for not listening to her.
I don't want meds either. So I am going for alternatives. I know it will be a slow process but I am aiming for small steps. One day at a time. One hour at a time.
I have the same problem then you now. I am in between project. So I was ask to test an application we are changing for a customer. I have been on this for 2 weeks now and I have not done sh*t. Instead I am here posting. I rush for an hour or 2 before meeting so they think I have been busy.
Today I talk to an homeopath for the first time so I feel I made progress. I have nothing to show for it. Hope. Still that is better then yesterday and the day before.
You are not alone.
Christine, hang in there! It sounds to me like you grew up being criticized and made aware of your shortcomings constantly. You have now taken on that role with your mother as back up in case you start to feel a little bit worthwhile.
Try to change the way you talk to yourself. Whenever you catch yourself thinking about what a misfit or screw-up you are, force yourself to say no, I am a warm, loving, caring productive woman and I have a lot going for me.
Homework: Sit down and write down everything positive you can come up with about yourself. Don't stop until you have at least 10 things on your list.
If you can't do it, I know we on the boards can just from knowing you through your posts. If we can see it, you can too.
i don't know WHY i have an issue with taking the medication. i really don't --- i know it is connected with a feeling that it will impair my spirituality and that side of me.
it's so true that for so long i have seen my ADD as a personality flaw, as a result of laziness and lack of self-discipline and something that i should be able to correct if i could just get enough backbone or something to overcome it. i have always seen it as a flaw in my character that i could not overcome it --- that was my weakness and it was all a question of WILL/of just pushing myself harder.
That's exactly how I felt for 32 years until I was diagnosed and prescribed Adderall. I've been on it for about a year and my life has done a huge turnaround. Now I DO all the things I used to just THINK about! ADD is NOT a character flaw - but stubbornness is. It sounds like you're determined to "prove" that you can overcome ADD with sheer willpower. Well that's not gonna work and all you're doing is wasting time. If you'd actually tried some medication and had bad experiences, I'd be more understanding, but just doing nothing and whining about how bad you're treated doesn't elicit much sympathy. You said yourself you know medication would help you (and I'm not pushing Adderall), so why not try it? You don't have to take a stimulant - hell, you don't even have to take a prescribed drug, try some herbal concoction that people are always promoting - but DO SOMETHING.
As far as 'impairing your spirituality' - I'm sorry, I don't buy it. If anything, I've become MORE spiritual because now I can organize my time and actually commit to being part of my church, which I find very fulfilling. I have more time to volunteer and can just BE THERE for people now instead of staying in, berating myself for being a low-achieving loser and wallowing in self-pity.
There is help available but it's not going to come to you and slap you in the face and say "Here I am! Here's the answer!" - you have to go get it.
OW !
WOW !
YOW !
Go listen to some J A Z Z, man {I mean dude}
and like mellow out. thanks parritthead --- i do mean to do something. i have some magnesium capsules now and some omega fish oil (although i was vegetarian i decided this was more important).
i think you get me very well --- and i do appreciate your testament to how it has turned your life around. i expect if i do go and take the meds i will exactly like you if i come across someone like me (does that make sense). i can see it must be frustrating - like you just want to hold them down and force the damn pills in them!!! slowly, slowly i think i am coming around.
stubbornness is too right.
and yet, and yet ---- do you not miss anything about your previous state of ADD-ness. at all??? do you not think you have forfeited anything?
Why don't you just try some meds just for a couple weeks and if you hate it, stop. You can stop doing them any time you want. I try things all the time and if I don't like them I don't do them again.
And then assign yourself some small thing you want to achieve. That way you will be doing a lot of the work yourself with a little help from the meds.
homework ---- noooooooo (joke)thank-you barb you're so cool.
i know - it's tricky for my mother she is caught between a rock and a hard place. on the one hand if she tells me i am fine it means that no-one is pushing me to change. on the other hand, every time she does push me - i push right back because i feel defensive about my faults....
you know what i think could be a similar comparison - although not perfect?
it is like someone who is very fat... and they don't want to go on diet pills because they feel they should be able to overcome it themselves. and their parents perhaps don't know whether to accept them as they are - although they can see they are not entirely happy and their weight negatively affects their life or push them to lose weight, although that ends up in lower self-esteem and unhappy criticism. they look at all normal sized people around them and think 'they can do it - why can't i, it is all my fault, i just don't have self-discipline'. whereas i could tell them as a naturally skinny person that it is nothing to do with self-discipline i have NO self-discipline, i just don't have cravings to eat except when i am hungry (and then i get starving and have to eat) it's just a non-issue, something i never even bother to think about.
and similar questions come into play --- what made them fat in the first place? can they change that? can they alter their psyche? how much of the problem is simply unforgiving societal attitudes toward people who are different? are they causing unhappiness to those around them - and if so, why?
the differences are --- i feel there is a benefit to being ADD that i can't really see in being fat because being fat is just expensive and bad for ones health too.
although it is difficult to put ones finger on the ADD benefit. and perhaps i am just being crazy to think there is one?
maybe rather than being a benefit (as i semi-see it) it is just a problem and one that i should medicate away...... in order to be able to function properly.
who knows??????????????? obviously, not me.
was that a really rubbish analogy? yeah, maybe it is.
but thanks. i will work on the 10 things (hahaha when i get round to it - PROcrastination) perhaps start with three and then take it from there. i guess it is human nature to be flawed.
boy do i have sympathy for those with ADD kids --- on the upside however, there is far more chance that they will turn out to be an artistic genius whose name will reverberate through the ages. despite living in poverty and chopping their ear off etc.
in barcelona, a homeless man was runover in the street and when they got him to the hospital - they realised it was Gaudi, architect of the incredible Sagrada Familia so it is all swings and roundabouts... you never quite know where you will end up, eh?
(i read that somewhere but i can't remember where exactly, i think it is true. i never bothered to verify it from another source)
Why don't you just try some meds just for a couple weeks and if you
hate it, stop. You can stop doing them any time you want. I try
things all the time and if I don't like them I don't do them again.
because in my temporary madness i feel that it is crossing some rubicon
and i will never be able to return to my former state - that it is
indeed a test of my faith....
i really need a shrink. and not just for the ADD
obviously. anyway thanks auntie and as parritthead said sorta
'enough about me - already'..........
i just got upset and posted too soon after speaking to my mother. so it all came flooding out!?!
man, she/he was a bit harsh with the 'loser' though. i mean
this is an ADD site. as if i haven't heard that before.....
good idea --- after all i'm in LA aren't I?
and i think it is practically obligatory to have a shrink here? ya know if you want to be taken seriously at all....
boy, i'm feeling more LA already at the mere thought
sheesh, i was wondering what i was doing wrong......???????????????
ROFL LOFL etc. etc. etc.
now i gotta get back to that dmn editing. or it won't be me banging my head against the wall but someone doing it for me!
i went to la.. it was amazing.. especially the shopping.. and especially when everyone spoke to me in spanish
I don't know why you're so against taking MEDICATION, but whatever side effects you may experience have got to be better than what you're feeling right now.thanks guys! "Don't rely on your achievements for happiness, that is a never ending road."
a never starting road for me - i guess!?! don't worry i feel better already - i guess i just had to let it out.... achievement? what's that? ooooh that strange, elusive beast that flees in horror at the merest whiff of my presence.
whiff is a funny word --- whiff, whiff...
but thanks.
wise words floof...
You know, anyone, no matter how much they have accomplished in life, could say those exact words. The difference between what we are and what we expect of ourselves is the source of great suffering for many, and the point where we become satisfied is completely arbitrary. We can choose to be miserable or to be content. Lighten up on yourself. Don't rely on your achievements for happiness, that is a never ending road.
Pride is the root of all suffering.
that is a plus chjones.. and you need to remember that.. small steps..you can't run if you can't crawl and walk..
i've gone through what you are currently going through.. i know how it feels.. my mother laid much guilt on me also.. but i did get through it, and so will you..
start having some confidence in your abilities!!
oh boy --- have just been speaking with my mother again. how does anyone else cope. i feel SO guilty, i feel SO hopeless, i feel like such a sh*t daughter. i can't bear it....
oh now i can't see the dmn screen!!!!
i so much don't want to be a failure anymore but i don't want to take the drugs. i don't want to be useless anymore i don't want to have to worry my mother. i don't want to be a source of embarrassment. i don't how anyone else copes ---- i can't deal with the guilt. i just can't.
honestly if i thought it would help i would kill myself but i know it won't. why can't i be successful and everything that was expected of me, why do i have to be so upsetting and worrying everyone, a constant pain --- does anyone else feel this way?
i can't take it. i just - if only, i could make something of my life........ rather than just being a worry. i don't know how other people cope. i can't cope.
at least most others posting here have some sort of semblance of a life - whereas i have a nothing. a void. a useless waste of space. a worry. why can't i make it??? is it just a question of taking the drugs??? why won't i take them - am i so selfish??? what's wrong with me? why can't i be one of those daughter's who make their parents proud instead of being a constant source of unhappiness..... and i just don't mean it. man that should be my epitaph - what do they say 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions'. well, there must be a huge population of ADDers down there then.
oh well never mind. such is life i guess. why does it upset me SO much. i guess i'll just have to take the drugs at least that shows as if i am making an effort rather than being stubborn and precious and ridiculous and worrying people.
(on the plus side - i managed to download the stupid film at least, so there is a start)
chjones38621.4643287037
sorry If my post isn't up to speed; I don't have time to read through all the other posts, But chjones I have felt the failure, the black sheep,....Could it be you are actually afraid of succeeding?
I think I set myself up for failure...because I am afraid to succeed!!!
LTC138627.4928819444First, please get that in saying what I'm about to, I'm NOT being judgmental here but am sharing what I've noticed in other and found in myself to work (and not work).
After reading your post, my intuition tell me that what you need to do more than anything is to get out of yourself and stop thinking about this. You're driving yourself nuts. Been there, done that, sooooo much and it's a complete exercise in futility. The more you dwell on it, the more illusive an answer will become.
Everytime one of these depressing thoughts starts to take over, think, "I could have been in New Orleans" over and over. That tends to change the perspective and relegate the thought to where it belongs in the total scheme of things. You can't get yourself to take your meds while others--who pay for the ability--can't get meds to take to even survive. Kind of changes the priorities.
It's almost impossible to meet any of these things head on. I could get into a dissertation on brain functionality (my current area of study) and hypothesize why it works this way but will say it just does more than not for some pretty specific reasons.
Go do something constructive--for yourself and/or others--and stop thinking about these specifics and what is and is not going on with you. Give your subconscious and spirit some space to work on the problems. And they will. We need to learn to get out of our own ways and let our own ability to help and heal do their thing.
Break a leg, girl!
sachetm38627.4445949074well i would expect you both to get me, really - because neither of youare on the meds yet either! we are stuck in our twilight reality of
unaltered ADD....
a good place? a bad place? a weird, difficult place - that's for sure.
""oh yeah- and another thing-
do i have fear of success? or is it fear of failure?
or is it mixed/combined fear?
i think sometimes underlying my decisions is "if i do well on this, how can
i possibly keep doing well? after all, the only consistency in me is
consistently being inconsistent.""
i think my motivations are slightly different and VERY defensive. i do not
expect to be able to succeed. i presuppose failure in almost everything i
do and therefore will protect myself against before i start (and in the sad,
sick way invariably then bring it about --- success is something i think i
have never had, never experienced in a full way) so that when i DO fail i
am not so hurt, so destroyed --- i can pick myself up as i always do and
go well, and what - i didn't expect it to work out. i don't expect anything
of life in particular and dust myself off (crying inside but not really
showing it --- it is my way of dealing). SO counter-productive, I realise
but equally so difficult to get out of the habit --- having had it for a good
thirty years or so!
i am sure it will all work out in the end. somehow. somewhere. with the
drugs!
Not transparent... I was just thinking of situations in my own life....What you explained seemed to hit so close to home with me. This board does stimulate deep thought...sometimes a poster will post something that I have thought, or felt, but that I was never able to put into words.
Glad you are feeling better. 
oh yeah- and another thing-
do i have fear of success? or is it fear of failure?
or is it mixed/combined fear?
i think sometimes underlying my decisions is "if i do well on this, how can i possibly keep doing well? after all, the only consistency in me is consistently being inconsistent."
hey brig -- don't be scared
sachetm is right - much of my problem and over-reaction comes from thinking about myself too much. in some ways finding this board has been a blessing because it has opened up a lot of my thoughts and what i am thinking about my ADD and about myself. it has led to a lot of self-questioning and i think that has been healthy but that (as normal perhaps) it has also overreached itself and gone into a negative morbidity.
i am fine. i need to find a little more work - and a little more direction in my life, i hope with this therapist/friend i have met out here in LA I can start to work on the practicals of life instead of just mentally analysing and over-analysing until i start disappearing up my own backside with so much self-absorption.
i think LTC is also right. there is a fear of success/failure. essentially for me there is a fear of TRYING, of starting something with the positive attitude that THIS is going to WORK. I am determined to put my ALL in because I know this will be brilliant, will be worth it. I do tend to approach things in a lackadaisical manner, with an offhand attitude of well, i'll turn up... do the minimum but i don't really believe in it or myself so don't think i am going to knock myself out over this. then when i do fail (due in part to this attitude in the first place) i tend to go --- well, i never really cared in the first place. doesn't bother me. never thought it would work anyway.
so you are all right. how insightful of you. am i that transparent???
i do feel better when i do my work with the homeless. which i do every mon, wed, and sun (although not today) because i like to help people and i get on very well with homeless people in general. i have a similar mindset. but it is not exactly what i would like to do --- and i need to be able to change my mental attitude (perhaps through the drugs/perhaps i hope through this alternative therapist) in order to be able to work more fully in a job/career that i feel is right for me.
all in all - i am doing fine right now. i wrote the original post when feeling very over-emotional having just had a tearful battle/conversation and when feelings of guilt and inadequacy and bullying were just overwhelming. perhaps NOT the best time to post!
miss jones- you're not transparent, it's just that you reflect us so much!
even if you feel you have ulterior motives for working with the homeless, keep it up ! you are doing a truly wonderful, and noble thing.
[QUOTE=pilgrim]Just wanted to welcome and Hello to Liza Dolittle, glad your back on track stayn' on those meds girl.Miss Jones > > How's the FIRE going out in LA . . . let us know. 
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Brookelea]yeah, but the cocaine trade is no where as lucrative..
i think bolivia and colombia are the real hotspots
[/QUOTE]
Hah! Wait until you see this "HOT" spot! Then you tell me, o lake of firemoticon user!
BTW, these things take up to 48 hours to show up. My purse finally did, so I 'spect this one will, too. bepatient
hey, go to bed. you're sick.[QUOTE=chjones]oh maybe my inbox is full. i'll check. i never do check it properly! [/QUOTE]
i am not sure i have your email so just send mee one and then i can add it
Success - failure - what's the diff? It all comes down to change and what it makes us feel right?
I know I even picked my job to avoid both sides of that. I can't fail because the job is easy to do while my meds work. And succeed - well I have refused to move up the ladder at work because it would leave me open to a whole heap of scary change.
I think sometimes the fear of success is far more gripping for us than of failure. We've all had failures and begin to expect it over time. Fail to be on time, to be reliable, to do what needs to be done. After a while we know exactly what to expect.
Now with success - that comes less often for a lot of us. But when it does we know (or our chatter says) that with success it will mean a bigger fall when we inevitably do. Scary stuff.
Eventually I hope with therapy I'll try success again. I'd like to know that there's still hope - even at 38. We can dream.
- Glen
chjones i just bought a book from barnes and nobles called the anxiety and phobia workbook by edmund j bourne, phd.
i think it will help you alot...it talks about self talk selfesteem, medications, relaxation, and much much more....i have only read bits and pieces of it so far and i love it and it has helped me alot.
just a suggestion....i paid 13.00 for it.
well worth the money especially with what you are going through. just a sugestion
well i might add that to the annidagostini Stopping ADHD and poll on down to the B&N tomorrow. i was going anyway.... as it happens. but normally i don't feel too anxious or phobic. just useless --- do they have a how not to be useless book anywhere????
[QUOTE=chjones]thanks hun -
well i might add that to the annidagostini Stopping ADHD and poll on down to the B&N tomorrow. i was going anyway.... as it happens. but normally i don't feel too anxious or phobic. just useless --- do they have a how not to be useless book anywhere????
[/QUOTE]
GO TO THE SELF HELP SECTION OR ASK SOMEONE WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR AND IN THAT SECTION THEY HAVE A LOT.....IF YOU LOOK AT THE BOOK AND DECIDE ONLY A FEW THINGS IN THERE ARE FOR YOU LET ME NO WHICH ONES AND I WILL SCAN AND SEND THE PAGES TO YOU VIA EMAIL.
k let me know what you get for a book by instant messanger, email, or pm me
it wont let me pm u back so hope this works
i am going to sleep i had only 3 hours last night and a really rough day....talk to you tomorrow...ciaooh maybe my inbox is full. i'll check. i never do check it properly![QUOTE=Brookelea]i went to la.. it was amazing.. especially the shopping.. and especially when everyone spoke to me in spanish [/QUOTE]
L.A. is the latest addition to L.atin A.merica... comprende?
yeah, but the cocaine trade is no where as lucrative..i think bolivia and colombia are the real hotspots
Just wanted to welcome and Hello to Liza Dolittle, glad your back on track stayn' on those meds girl.
Miss Jones > > How's the FIRE going out in LA . . . let us know.
i think its out. but ya know - i don't know! fancy that. i haven't driven past any glowing embers or anything.
but then i haven't driven that far neither. how weird - i totally forgot about it. must be my faulty memory again
AT least you rememberd that you for got---
My name is Liza.I am 39 ,amother ,a wife afull time daycare teacher and i have ADD with depression and a mood disorder along with some schizophrenia symptoms.About 2 months ago I decided to go off of my meds on my own. without telling anybody.Subconsciously Thst idiot Tom Criuse and his comments got into my rapidly turning brain.I ended up in abad place in my head.Ruined a family vacation at the beach and made my family scared and angry.Finally checked into ahospital with a great psych. unit.4 days later went out into the real world with all my meds back in my system and readjusted.i feel so much better.I have come to accept my disorder and the fact that i need to take meds.Please dont do what i did .
chjones, u r truly scaring me.....you are a great person who has helped alot of us especially me so the only advise i can give is i have been where you are not only withmyself but my kids....one thing you WILL NOT lose is your personnality and none of us here want you to anyway....i have feeling you have some type of depression as well...whether it just situational or something ongoing.
i am still adjusting to my meds and am a lot better and everyone is happy as am i that i am the same person as i was b4 meds only i can think better and achieve more being on them without my foggy mind.
whether you dothe meds or some alternative i just hope you try something b4 it gets worse. we all love you and worry about you.
and as brooke mentioned a counselor or a psychologist who isnt gonna push meds but give you self help is great idea. i see a therapist and he is great and gives me exercises to do everyday that help. if you want some of them pm me.
if you are depressed i just bought this book i just started reading and so far it is great it is called
the anxiety and phobia workbook, written by edmund j. bourne a phd and it is good for anxiety, phobias, medications, self-talk, self-esteem ( which i think would help you as you are way to hard on your self) nutrition, meanin, purpose and spirituality and much much more. i got it at barnes and noble for 13.00 on sale i bought the 3rd edition instead of the 4th as it was much cheaper and dr and guy at the book store said they are all pretty much the same.
hope this helps...if you need to vent do so anytime we all love you and worrry about you.
keep your chin up, we will help u through this