I am new here , need help | ADHD Information

lynn, remember this: when all seems bad, be glad that you are not daviewonder

on a serious note, (mind you i was serious earlier), welcome to the board and i am sure that you will find yourself a nice nest here.. just don't pay the rest to daviewonder.. he is up for embezzlement

wht are you diagnosed with? and exactly what meds are you on? i went through a lot of counselors b4 i found one i clicked with and he is great. dont give up-we are all here for you and keep us posted to how you are doing good or bad..

welcome to the group of ADDers..

Thanks you for taking the time to respond to my post it really means more than you know.

I am seeing a new dr. and therapist dont 'click' with either of them ,the dr. puts me on the defensive and Im in tears before i leave so I havent been to my last appt. and the thereapist is a older women and I told her I wanted to find a support group, coach, something and there is NOTHING at tuscaloosa ala. surprising me because of the university, I figured there would be a chadd or something , nope , there used be agroup but not any longer. I searched online, in the phone book, called mental health for the county , the university ,you name it Ive looked. I kinda hyperfocused on it for a few months determined to get help I found none and I dont like my dr lol. Anit life grand ...lol

Im ready to flush my meds and try a diet or homopathic , all natural lifestyle for my whole family. I dont think it would hurt anyway ... Im on paxil and adderal 60mg a day (2 doses of 30mg)

Lynn -

It definitely sounds like you are in dire straights. Rest assured someone here will have some info to help you. I'll look myself and see if there are any resources near you that can help.

If the adderal isn't working - there are other's that may help. Paxil has been known to negate amphetamines in some people so maybe your doc needs to think about other antidepressants more suitable? Remember - your doc is paid for by you (either cash or insurance it's from you!) and it's a consumer transaction. Don't be afraid to say what you want! They can be intimidating but be brave dear girl!

You may need to travel a few miles to get help from nearby sources. That may be tough but something needs to be done - and fast. I hope you find the backwind to push you along the way. Rest assured we'll be here to encourage you 100 percent. I know there's a solution made just for you out there!

- Glen

PS - Seeker - great stuff but please PRINT BIGGER?!?!?! You are hurting my eyes with that small font!! We don't mind scrolling really!

[QUOTE=lynninala]

Hi I am a 37 yr old mom of 3, nanny of 1, stepmom to 1 and wife to 1 ...

Im lost in all of it... overwhelmed , feeling like a horrible person ,wife , daughter and mother.

Seems like everyone is ready for me to fail, I really don't mean to 'whine' but this is how I feel . Even my kids...

I can't do it all and now I have no will to do anything , Im taking meds and they arent helping. I feel so ashamed to be me now

[/QUOTE]

Lynninala: Welcome to the Tapestry (the sum of all threads). You're weaving!

Can't say as I know how you feel, but may we take a look at this from another perspective?

Did you see how creatively arranged your sentences are? Each subsequent one is progressively longer.

Now, as for me and my house, I think that is not a co-incidence. Looks like you are pretty cool, and, remember, gifted...

...37 yr old mom of 3, nanny of 1, stepmom to 1 and wife to 1

Welcome Lynninala,

You are not alone. I am an auntie of an AD/HD child so I can't give you first hand advise but I'm sure there are people who will. I edited my response because I missed the part you said about your meds and I was thinking you were here because of a child with ADHd. I am sorry you are having a tough time of it and this board is the right place for support!

Auntie38621.9763773148

First of all - welcome Lynn!

What you are feeling is totally normal. We all have gone through the feeling of hopelessness and shame - of not being what others both expect of us and what we want to be for them. It's totally normal to feel that way.

If the meds aren't working - make sure to let your doctor know!! Remember - he/she works for YOU - not the other way around. Let your doctor know you aren't satisfied and wish to try something else that might work for you. You are SPECIAL and deserve to be happy!!!!

Feeling as you do I would really really recommend talking to a therapist - have you already?? It's very good to talk to either a psychiatrist or psychologist about the feelings you are having. They truly can help you. I know this because my psychiatrist helps me in ways I never imagined he could have when I started.

PLEASE don't give in to these feelings!! They are coming from the negative chatter in your head - we all have these other voices that tell us we are useless, that we aren't good enough. It's part of ADHD and I know how hard they are to ignore when the medication isn't working.

coming here and letting out your feelings is a good good step, dear woman! Now you must reach out to professionals whose jobs are to get you BETTER. Please do that ok? I don't know if your medical insurance is covering these things but if not let me and the group know and we'll find free services in your area so you aren't feeling so alone. It's essential you keep moving forward - the meds will eventually help you and there might be other things making you feel worse that are countering the meds on you. Many times things like depression end up coming along for the ride and only a professional can help find out the roots to all your problems.

So very glad you are here. You can message me if you want to talk in detail - or just voice what you are feeling here if that's what you wish. Either way I am behind you and you'll end up OK!!! I've been where you are - and you'll end up where most of us are - happy and moving forward!!!

- Glen

whoa there!

been there, done that. more than once i might add.

a) wrong meds can be worse than no meds.

b) you're probably only seeing your assumed shortcomings. (you know- that gap between what you think you are doing, and what you think the world thinks you should be doing.)

c) like me, you're probably not in your right mind () anyway- so why believe all that crap you're dumping on your head?

d) in order to fail, there has to be success to gauge it by. so, whether you'll cop to it or not, you do have success in your life.

e) that's a lot of people to take care of. who takes care of you?

f) it's not all unraveling. it's just not raveling ideally.

g) you're not a horrible person. horrible people never consider it a possibility.

h) nobody can 'do it all'. you do your best, and somewhere in all this, everyone else, from children to your husband will have to pick up some of the slack you leave for them.

i) nature abhors a void, and we, my dear, are a part of nature. there are lots of areas for you to let nature take it's course. this is an opportunity the others need so they can grow in the voids you leave.

j) there is no shame in recognising your limits. today's limits are tomorrows frontiers.

k) sometimes losing the will to do anything is an indication you're carrying too much. might be time to abandon some of the baggage you're totin' up in your head. whippin' a tired mule will get you more kicks in the head than acres plowed.

l) meds will help your brain work now. how are you fixing 37 yrs. of inaccurate self-image?

Hi I am a 37 yr old mom of 3, nanny of 1, stepmom to 1 and wife to 1 ...

Im lost in all of it... overwhelmed , feeling like a horrible person ,wife , daughter and mother.

Seems like everyone is ready for me to fail, I really don't mean to 'whine' but this is how I feel . Even my kids...

I can't do it all and now I have no will to do anything , Im taking meds and they arent helping. I feel so ashamed to be me now

Lynninala,

First, welcome to the boards. I am new here too and have not posted much, but have read an awful lot of posts. I am truly impressed with the honesty in the posts as well as appreciative of the help. It is amazing how many words I have already spoken out loud or have thought. It has helped tremendously. Keep reading. It'll help you too.

Sounds as if you have a full plate so heavy that even a non-adder would find it difficult to keep up! It's not an easy task to take care of so many, and the task is made more difficult with ADD. It seems, as you said, over whelming. I think the difference between someone without ADD and someone with ADD is the voices we hear in our heads and the guilt we feel in our hearts when we can't do it all. Feelings of guilt are tripled and it's not only about the guilt we feel today, but guilt we've feel about the past. Soon enough, it turns into one big guilt-fest. Everything we've ever done or have not done for the last 20 years seems to become an issue today simply because you lost a form one of the kids needed or forget to do something, or see the mirade of piles strewn about.

Guilt turns into sadness, which turns into depression and soon enough, you're swept away into feeling hopeless, useless and helpless. It's a hard rock to crawl out from under. Funny how I cannot remember where I parked my car, but can remember everything I ever failed my entire life. Those voices are nasty and beat like a constant drum with every foul up. And the cycle continues.

Alas, there is hope, Lynninala. Controlling your impulse to carry the kitchen sink on your back is a great start. Yesterday is over. Today is today. It is a new start, a new beginning. Try your hardest by using music, by doing physical activities, by punching a bag.. to forget yesterday. Hyperfocus on today.

There are good days and there are bad days. Some are within your control and sometimes it is not. Learn how to differentiate between the two. Learn to simplify your life and then chop them into parts. Write a list, cross it off and consider it a wonderful day if you've completed two things, a greater day if all things are crossed. Forgive yourself if you have none crossed off. Tomorrow is another day.

I cannot give you advice on medications or answer why yours doesn't seem to be working. I am new to the medication arena and have not totally convinced myself to take that plunge. I'm getting there though. However, it does seem as if something needs to change whether it be a new doctor, a change in your dosage or a new medication altogether. I have looked up a way to find some other doctors in your area. You can go to WebMd, plug in your city and state and find a doctor who specializes in ADD. http://my.webmd.com/pages/dir/search.asp?sponsor=lilly&s earchType=2

You are not a failure, Lynninala. You are working hard to hold the cup. It is harder with ADD, yes, but it is not impossible. Life can be better. Read about the others who have changed their lives. YOu can be them too.

Of all things, know you have a friend who stuggles just like you. Together...we can do this.

[QUOTE=Brookelea]lynn, remember this: when all seems bad, be glad that you are not daviewonder

on a serious note, (mind you i was serious earlier), welcome to the board and i am sure that you will find yourself a nice nest here.. just don't pay the rest to daviewonder.. he is up for embezzlement
[/QUOTE]

Hey! I represent that! I kinda liked it. Didn't you think it had fashion written all over it?

I think Lynninala has something here, and will set a new trend. Hmmmphh.

[QUOTE=FidgetyFreak]Lynninala,

Of all things, know you have a friend who stuggles just like you. Together...we can do this.[/QUOTE]

Hey FF, knew nickname: Fighting Frank!

Well said. There is alwasy a bright light at the end of our tunnels, whether it's just around the bend and you can't see it, or you get flashes of hope, or someone flashes by, or you see the steady goal in the near distance.

These are all signs of hope.

And I cannot say it better than FF did:

You are not a failure, Lynninala.

Thanks for coming, pour your elf a cup of coffee, stay, and chat a while. It's therapeutic. Or addictive if you end up staying up as late as i do...

David

gosh been a while and still in a slump BUT ...went to dr. changed meds to lexapro and concerta and welbutron which may have worked if my family memeber that visited christmas didnt steal my meds...........now im on that downhill fall but taking the lexapro.

I spoke to my dr. was honest with her developing a better relationship there but we just dont click , oh well im still trying because its the only my insurance will pay for 100%

honestly ive layed in bed the last two days but im going to call dr. and tell her i need my meds refilled cause im jipping my kids out of there fun while sschools out ...

as far as a therapist goes , i need need need to buck up and go cry for a while in her office i guess . Im scared to start crying afraid i cant stop. try not to feel nowadays.

well thats were im at now adays............. thanks for your comments they dont go unread and are needed , just to know im not crazy lol hugs lynn

[QUOTE=lynninala]

as far as a therapist goes , i need need need to buck up and go cry for a while in her office i guess . Im scared to start crying afraid i cant stop. try not to feel nowadays.

[/QUOTE]

Hey Lynn,

The above quote threw a red flag up to me.. so I wanted to commment

First of all, Im glad you got a med change, and sorry you had some unscrupulous ones around to take them from you

Now about that comment, Please don't be afraid to cry and let it all out. I have a feeling you are right, once you get started, its not going to be able to stop...

I had one of those before, ironically in a therapists office.. I cried and cried and couldnt stop.. it was one of those deep cries, ya know it seems like you are crying all over.. it was cleansing. After it was over, FINALLY...

I felt like a million bucks! Girl ya gotta let it out, cause quite frankly, if you do have a cry where the floodgates get let out.. how you feel afterwards will be simply UNBELIEVABLE!! It is totally worth it, I promise!!

Sherry