how were you as a child shakesp | ADHD Information
I was a witch growing up,,,,my mom laughs what comes around goes around.... All I can say is that my parents have more patience than I would! I was a holy terror![QUOTE=shakespeare]All I can say is that my parents have more patience than I would! I was a holy terror! [/QUOTE]
I have a truly difficult time believing that . . .
[QUOTE=shakespeare]It's all in the genes... we're just lucky, I guess!My parents practically had to tape my mouth to shut me up. Actually, not much has changed, come to think of it.... I was such a know it all. Yeah, I know, hard to believe! [/QUOTE]
My twin--at long last I've found you!
shakespeare, what did your parents do?? please have a detailed response..
i have a daughter who i believe deserves better than what i can give her..
so shoot please - any advice is welcome
Actually it wasn't so much behavioral, I was just, how shall we put it... precocious. Had to be the center of attention. I loved to use words like "concur" rather than agree. One of my earlier memories is of me telling my grandmother I had a "skin abrasion".
Just like to show off, I suppose...It's all in the genes... we're just lucky, I guess!
My parents practically had to tape my mouth to shut me up. Actually, not much has changed, come to think of it.... I was such a know it all. Yeah, I know, hard to believe!
Shakespeare,
I e-mailed you on your reg. e-mail, regarding my sister.
Please try and get back to me!!
When ever you have time available.
Montana Mom
at least you were not linguistically challenged
well thats impressive!! i wish my dd at least read so she could increase her vocabulary too.. i must admit, i enjoy hearing young children using such terms
[QUOTE=Brookelea]
i had adhd as a child (still have but no longer a child!!) and i guess i don't want my daughter to go through what i went through.. some lessons are really not needed..
[/QUOTE]
I am not a parent, but I suspect one of the hardest parts of parenting is watching a child you love go through pain while standing helplessly on the sidelines. Much as you'd like to, you can't prevent her from painful experiences. She will have to learn from her ADHD and grow from it. And if you truly believe that you are too hard on her (I can't imagine how that could be based on your obvious concern for her, but...) then again you have a choice. Your mind may spit out any number of angry comments, but then you have the luxury of choosing whether or not to let them escape your lips.
so true, so true..you should come and work where i teach for a while.. your positive attitude will make a great difference to my students..
It's easy to be positive on this side of the screen. Trust me, I have more than my fair share of negative moments. I just try not to let them overtake me. 
What age group do you teach?
between 12 - 17.. all of them with severe behavioural difficulties, many with extremely high iqs.. what a perfect match
I would guess that after spending all day with them it must be frustrating to come home to your daughter knowing what she's capable of doing and watching her not do it. aha.. and i was one of those kids too.. except i was finally expelled and no school would take me..finally after a year of doing very little, a school took me in under very strict conditions..
I don't personally believe that it's "critical" to expect her to live up to her potential. I know nothing about Australia, but in the US there's a school of thought that preaches that children must have "no unhappy moments". Rubbish. Children don't have the higher level brain functions yet to determine what is in their best interest.
[QUOTE=Brookelea]aha.. and i was one of those kids too.. except i was finally expelled and no school would take me..
finally after a year of doing very little, a school took me in under very strict conditions..
[/QUOTE]
Me too. I was expelled for being a no account druggie who never went to class. I finished school living with my grandmother in another state. I went to college right after I graduated and partied my way out after a year. Took me a couple more years to get my life squared away, but it happens. Some lessons you just have to learn for yourself.
Now, at the age of 25, I'm 2 years into med school. Time heals all wounds...i agree.. i'm two months away from completing my phd, have a double masters and a range of postgraduate certs..in order to do this though, one must accept their adhd and move on.. not dwell on it and allow it to hold them back..
[QUOTE=shakespeare]I don't personally believe that it's "critical" to expect her to live up to her potential. I know nothing about Australia, but in the US there's a school of thought that preaches that children must have "no unhappy moments". Rubbish. Children don't have the higher level brain functions yet to determine what is in their best interest. [/QUOTE]
australia has moved in that direction.. it spells the end for real learning..
[QUOTE=Brookelea]i agree.. i'm two months away from completing my phd, have a double masters and a range of postgraduate certs..
in order to do this though, one must accept their adhd and move on.. not dwell on it and allow it to hold them back..
[/QUOTE]
Well said!! It is only a disadvantage if you allow it to be so. In the end it's either a resource or an excuse.
I'll check in soon! enjoy and danke for the discussion
You really want to know? My father was a salesman at Roberds and my mother waited tables while she worked through school to become a teacher. The most beautiful thing my mother did for me was listen. I knew I could talk to her about any hardship, and that relationship carries through to today. I always know I'll be accepted and I never need to fear losing her respect (although at times I do fear it, I wouldn't need to). Although she was always busy I never felt neglected because when she was there, she was there just for me.
My father and I, on the other hand, had/ have unresolved issues, but we won't go there...
thats really beautiful... and very rare..i really need to listen to my child more and stop being so critical
well your mum did a great job, especially given that you had a turbulent history with your father..
she should be commended
[QUOTE
i have a daughter who i believe deserves better than what i can give her..
[/QUOTE]
Brooklea, I suspect that your daughter would have a different take on things. I don't even know you and I can tell, from that one statement, how much she means to you and that must show, in every action you take and in every word you utter. Parents sometimes think only of the things they believe they have done wrong. Children are much more forgiving. They don't see mistakes made or opportunities wasted... they see love, tenderness, and the effort made to give them everything we never had. That's what your daughter sees, brooklea, and never ever question that.
[QUOTE=Brookelea]
i really need to listen to my child more and stop being so critical
well your mum did a great job, especially given that you had a turbulent history with your father..
[/QUOTE]
Yes, you do need to stop being so critical. My mother made many mistakes. But like you, she did the best job she knew how to do. I could ask for nothing more.
Sorry if I sound like I'm preaching...no not preaching at all.. i understand the part about critical, i just don't know how to do it.. i don't do it with my students, only with my daughter.. i guess its because i know what she is capable of, both the good and the bad..
not a good excuse..
I don't think I made that very clear. I meant you need to stop being so critical of you. I'm sure you are matchless role model for your daughter. Think of the opportunities she will have because of you. All you can do now is be there for her and get her the help she needs, and I can confidently say that you must be doing just those things.Otherwise we probably wouldn't be here discussing it.oh thanks shakespeare
am critical of myself because thats the only way i know how.. i remember at high school scoring almost perfect scores on my final year exams at my parents saying
"weren't you good enough to get perfect scores??" that sticks into your brain
plus the guilt i feel for even writing this.. hell i'm going to call my parents now before i feel worse!!
I'm sure you've heard this all before, but there's a difference between critical of a child and being critical of her actions. Being firm when she does something wrong isn't being critical of her. It's setting boundaries and showing her that some things are not and can not and will not be tolerated. And that's not a bad thingPerfection is an unattainable goal, of course, and had your parents known the impact those words would have on you I'm sure they never would have been spoken. Forgive yourself for not being perfect, and forgive them for expecting it. We can only do what we can do, and as long as we do it to the best of our ability, then we've succeeded.
Hence the Thoreau quote at the bottom...i'm impressed shakespeare - maybe we should be thanking your mummy !!!i had adhd as a child (still have but no longer a child!!) and i guess i don't want my daughter to go through what i went through.. some lessons are really not needed..
One more thing and then I'll shut up...maybe. You say you are hard on yourself because it's the only thing you know. That may be true; after all, it's what you've always done and what you were taught. But that doesn't mean you have to continue living that way. We are prisoners neither of the past nor of our learned behaviors. We have the power to choose how to respond to situations. It me be uncomfortable because it is new and different, but I'm saying you can choose to recognize that critical thinking for what it is (because Lord knows you can't stop those thoughts from coming) and respond differently. The power of positive thinking and all that... it sounds like psychological BS, but it's not. It's just learning self-love.
Shakespeare,
You have such great advice and have had such great sucess in your life!!!
How were you as child!
Give us some advice, but, you don't have to give your life story, just hope!!!!
Montana Mom