Scared/Depressed | ADHD Information

I'm sure many of you have gone through the same thing I'm about to talk about.  A month ago I received my diagnosis of ADHD and was started out on 10mg Adderall XR, and after a week went up to 20mg.  Anyway, I wasn't too sure if it was working.  I started college around the same time I started the Adderall, and after the migraines wore off I find I can focus and understand what I'm reading.  I couldn't do this the first time around I attended college, 4 years ago.  Anyway, didnt seem to help with my memory and just general absentmindedness, until one day about a week ago I was worrying about some bills and my mind start WHIRRING, going from one thing to the next, barely stopping on one thought before racing to the other.  Then I realized that my adderall was DEFINETELY working and had wore off.  Then I got depressed because my channels were flipping and I was out of control.  I was so depressed and couldn't sit still and couldn't think and I wanted so bad to get drunk off my butt or SOMETHING but I instead eventually went to sleep.  But you see, this is how I was my whole life!  So 3 weeks of not having the channels flipping and then getting a taste of it again made me feel crazy and depressed.  I realized that I would have to take drugs all my life to keep this from happening, and I desperately don't want it to happen again.  And then I see all the problems people have with drugs, how they don't work for them anymore, and they are on and endless cycle of switching dosages and drugs and what not, and it all seems so depressing!  Almost as if I was better off before I knew I had ADHD.  I didn't know what normal was like.  Now I feel like I could never be that person again, it's so miserable and horrible. 

Anyway, I just wanted to rant.  I realize that it may be hard for most ADHD'ers to read but I don't even know where to begin cutting it into seperate paragraphs :)  I'm just overwelmed right now. . . And half wishing I didn't know that I had ADHD.
ppl seem to change when they find out that they have something, whether it be adhd, vertigo, cancer or aids..
adhd is not cancer or aids and is not life threatening..
it is manageable and you don't always need to use meds to manage this..

i don't use meds and am much more sane and stable than say some medicated ones here - not mentioning davieboy's name ofcourse ..

i still have my ups and downs, but i accept my adhd, accept that i am different and have altered my expectations accordingly.. that does not mean that i don't strive to succeed - it just means that i may have to do it through alternative measures.. 

i take a lot of supplements and find that i am more balanced by them..  motivation is a tough one, but i just laugh it off.. i'm motivated enough by coming onto this forum and therefore realise that the problem isn't me, its that everything around me is boring ..
it works for me..

it sounds like adderall may not be for you.. you may need to try something else, or even go alternative..

did you get tested for bipolar?  because adderall will make your depression worse.  i am also adhd and have evere anxiety depression and possible bipolar so they put me on strattera and clonazapam for my panic attacks and i have only been on for a week and can tell the difference almost immediately

 

Not to disagree with someone as sage as brook there - but perhaps give the meds some time to work better at the higher dose?  It can take 2 or more weeks for it to metabolize properly in your system.  The "high" will go away but the main effect of control and inner peace stays. 

Give it an honest go if it's not too hard on your system - you may find it's very worth it!

 

- Glen

as sage as brook??

oh glen, i know that there wasn't one hint of sarcasm in that

Brookie brookie brookster!

I don't do sarcasm much.  Especially not here.

I find your posts informative, educational, and always entertaining.  Although I don't always agree with you (then who is always on the same wavelength?), I always come out of it with something I didn't have.

I find you a wonderful member here, and a good person.  If I am going to be sarcastic - it won't be with you - and all will know it when it happens 

 

- Glen

i've always liked and admired canadians and now i know why ..

 

now is glen and brookie flirting   lol

Who's flirping whom . . .









       Thanks for the responses.