token system- day 1

I MY SELF JUST STARTED A TOKIN SYSTEM AND HOW I DO IT IS THIS

1-I WRITE ALL HOUSE RULES AND POST ON FRIDGE WHICH MY SON KNOWS ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT.  WE READ THE LIST ABOUT A DOZEN TIMES A DAY SO HE REMEMBERS THEM,  EVEN THOUGH BEEN HOUSE RULES SINCE HE WAS BORN

2-MADE A PILE OF PUNISHMENT CARDS...IF HE BREAKS ONE OF THESE RULES HE PICKS A CARD OUTTA A JAR AND HAS TO DO WHAT IS ON IT.  SOME EXAMPLES WE PUT ARE....RUN AROUND HOUSE THREE TIMES, CLEAN OUT CARS, VACUUM, DO DISHES, GROUNDED FROM TV FOR ONE WHOLE DAY, GROOUNDED FROM TOYS FOR ONE WHOLE DAY,....ETC.  IF HE REFUSES TO DO SO HE GOES TO BED.

3-HE GETS A TOKEN FOR BEING GOOD ALL DAY AND NOT HAVING TO BE TOLD MORE THAN ONCE TO DO SOMETHING, OR FOR DOING A CHORE WITHOUT BEING ASKED.

4-HE CAN USE TOKENS AT ANY TIME AND HE AND I SET DOWN AND MADE A LIST OF WHAT HE GETS ACCORDING TO HOW MANY TOKENS HE GETS.

5-ONCE HE GETS A TOKEN IT NEVER GETS TAKEN AWAY UNLESS HE SPENDS IT. 

MY FOSTER MOTHER TOLD ME THAT IN THE BOOK SHE READ (WHICH SHE IS GONNA LET ME NO THE NAME OF IT WHEN SHE ISNT BUSY....SHE HAS 6 KIDS AND 4 WITH ADHD) THAT YOU NEVER WANT TO TAKE A TOKEN AWAY AS THE CHILD WILL THEN NOT WANT TO DO THE REWARD SYSTEM AND THEREFORE IT TAKES OUT ALL THE POSITIVE....IN OTHER WORDS ONCE EARNED HE DOESNT GET IT TAKEN AWAY

MRS GHOST:  I WOULD NOT TAKE YOUR CHILDS TOKENS AWAY, I AGREE WITH THE FACT THAT ONCE EARNED, THEY ARE EARNED UNTIL SPENT.  IF TAKEN AWAY YOU ARE TAKING AWAY ALL THE POSITIVES OF HAVING A REWARD SYSTEM TO BEGIN WITH.

WE STARTED THIS WEEK AND HE IS NOW DOWN TO ONE PUNISHMENT CARD A DAY.  WHICH WAS YESTERDAY BUT AT THE SAME TIME HE VACUUMED THE HOUSE WITHOUT BEING ASKED SO GOT A TOKEN.

WE USE STARS, NOT TOKENS, BUT YOU ALL CAN USE WHATEVER YOUR CHILD WANTS.....

I INCLUDED HIM ON RULE MAKING AND PUNISHMENTS AND REWARDS TO MAKE IT LIKE HE HAD SOME CONTROL....AND HE ISNT ASKING MUCH FOR REWARDS, THIS IS GONNA BE CHEAP FOR ME....LOL

[QUOTE=mrsghost]Thinks for the info. That makes sense to not take the tokens away. I was surprised when the counselor said that because it didn't seem like positive reinforcement to me. I also had my son take part in deciding the rules, chores, etc. Hope it works![/QUOTE]

  HEY THAT IS WHAT WE ARE ALL HERE FOR TO SUPPORT AND GIVE IDEAS...KEEP US INFORMED HOW HE IS DOING AND I WILL KEEP YOU INFORMED HOW MINE IS DOING.

I HAVE A FELLING IT IS GONNA TAKE A WHILE AS IT IS A CHANGE AND HOPEFULLY THEY WILL RESPOND TO IT BEING A GOOD ONE

SEE YOU DID GOOD AND ALWAYS GO WITH YOUR GUT NOT ALL DRS KNOW OUR KIDS LIKE WE DO..

[QUOTE=momoftwoboyz]We have been doing the token system(poker chip plan) now for almost 3 weeks. Unfortunately I haven't seen any changes in my son's behavior. He does earn or lose them depending on the behavior. His psych wanted it to work like the real world money. You do the right thing(work) you get money, you break a law you will get fined. You earn enough you can buy stuff. The thing is my son loves earning the rewards, but it doesn't change what he does so far. He still does the exact same things. We have an appointment today to discuss how it is going. I am not sure where we go from here, if we need to try something else, modify it or just keep going. Hopefully this will work better for you! Good luck![/QUOTE]

well no wonder it isnt working yu ar taking the benefit away of taking his tokens away when he breaks a rule.  so why would anyone, adult or child work to earn something just to have it taken away.  you need to  bringthis up to your shilds psych dr....dont she or he know that more positive than negetive isbetter for children and from what i am understanding she/heis having the positive taken away.  unbelivable

For us, we are teaching action/consequence. My SD has a hard time predicting the consequences for her behavior, and this has really decresed the power struggles we have had because she knew what would happen. Timeouts were not working, and we found this to be much more effective. She is very coroprative with us.

I do understand where you are coming from on the "real-life" situation. I think that may come into to play more as my SD gets older, she is 7yo.

I do like your "pick a punishment" system, though. I think that is very creative, and I may actually use it now that we are not able to use the marble system.

For us, we are teaching action/consequence. My SD has a hard time predicting the consequences for her behavior, and this has really decresed the power struggles we have had because she knew what would happen. Timeouts were not working, and we found this to be much more effective. She is very coroprative with us.

I do understand where you are coming from on the "real-life" situation. I think that may come into to play more as my SD gets older, she is 7yo.

I do like your "pick a punishment" system, though. I think that is very creative, and I may actually use it now that we are not able to use the marble system.

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i truly am hppy for you, my so is 6 andsome of the punishements he picked were...grounded from tv for the day, grounded from bike for the day, clean out the cars, vaccuummming the whole house, sweeping, doing dshes, mopping.....not that it will get done the way i want but a great way for him to learn.

here's his star rewards....that he himself picked out...we use stars not tokens....dont get lost then.

anyway her is what he chose

1 star=candy bar of choice

5 stars=1.00

10 stars=2.00

15 stars= 3.00

20 stars=4.00

25 stars=4.00 plus candy bar of choice

30 stars= 5 popsycles

35 stas=5 candy bars

40=dinner at fazolis

45=dinner at mc donalds

50=wrestling belt....been wanting for a VERY long time

100=new helicpoter toy just like the one he broke.

can you believe he picked all of these out?   boy do ihave it easy

See we had my SD earning priveleges with her marbles.

5= dessert

10= 1/2 hr of tv

10= 1/2 hr of computer

30= movie

50= sleep over

She earned around enough to have at least one of each of the smaller ones everyday.  She worked very hard for them. It taught her that she must do her part to get the things she wants. We do not give her priveleges.

 Right now, I am just letting her know when she has performed enough to earn something. We also base our leniency off her academic performance. She made all "A's" this past 6 wks, so things are much easier to earn.

See we had my SD earning priveleges with her marbles.

5= dessert

10= 1/2 of tv

10= 1/2 of computer

30= movie

50= sleep over

She earned around enough to have at least one of each of the smaller ones everyday.  She worked very hard for them. It taught her that she must do her part to get the things she wants. We do not give her priveleges.

 Right now, I am just letting her know when she has performed enough to earn something. We also base our leniency off her academic performance. She made all "A's" this past 6 wks, so things are much easier to earn.

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wow i am glad it is working well for you and she learned that she has to help to get the tings she wants......good job step mom

i agree on the year...r u kidding me we have to switch punishments about every 1-2 months as they dont have an  effect him anymore.  but i do believe that if the child is a part of the system and helps make up punishments and rewards they will be more apt to do it.  my son and i go over the rules about a dzen times a day and he is in school most of the day.  you would laugh if you knew what he helped me come up with.

if any of you areinterested letme know and i will post.  it is funny

[QUOTE=stepmom2maddy]We did the "Marble System" with my SD. It worked really, really well. We did take marbles away when a task was not performed. It did not deter her at all. Unfortunaltly, we stopped this because we only have her on the weekends now that school is back. It is too difficult to reinforce when we do not have her for extended periods of time. She is actually disappointed that we aren;t doing it anymore. She asks about it all the time, so I do not believe that taking tokens away will deter him. IMO[/QUOTE]

then we will have to agree to disagree, but i know for a fact that the many children i no with adhd would not do it if it was taken away. 

example...if you are at work and dont perform a task you may get written up (punished) butthey dont take away the paycheck.  and most employees learn that way so why not teach it that way to our kids now so they have it in there adder brains before they go that far. 

[QUOTE=mrsghost]Thanks! You are too! I think most- if not all- of us on this site are if we take the time to research and look for ways to make our kids lives better! THis site has helped me so much in the past week since I first went on it.[/QUOTE]

thank u and it has also helped me out alot too.  there is a great group here

mrs ghost,

i love the idea.. its great!!  i hope it works wonder for you both!!

i use a modified form as mine can't see long term rewards.. but it does work

please keep us updated!!

  [QUOTE=mrsghost]That's great! My son is taking it seriously too! The first day he told his friend about it and was so excited he showed him the poker chips he earned. Today was not as good but that was due to the meeting at school and all of the extra stuff he had to do tonight. SO, I wouldn't count it as a bad day because he really had no control over not getting things done. Considering all he had to do, his attitude was pretty good.[/QUOTE]

that is great....and i like that you arent punishing him for things outta his control....you are a loving and caring mother.......

just to let ya all no after only 3 or 4 days cant exacly remember whenstarted.  my son started the first day with 3 punishment cards and no stars.........now he has had no punishment cards but in the last two days he has gotten 7 stars and is really working hard at being good and doing extra things to earn 100 points for his noisey helicopter he had b4 but broke.....yikes.....i was hoping hed go for the wrestling belt at 50 stars....but i am glad he is learning to save and also glad it is working...i really thought it would take a few weeks to get him to get into the swing of things with the reward system.....

We too are using a reward system - its called easy child and we are having some good results. It is a point system and based on % of points earned you obtain levels of privileges and allowance. We set the privileges to each level and determine what behaviors he is awarded/penalized for. However we have had 2 issues:

1. The end of the week reward - wasn't immediate enough - we needed daily reinforcement - his doc recommended 15 min of GBA a night - miracle shot for us. He has been doing all of his "tasks" everyday since we implemented this.

2. We had a hard time when we had penalties for ex. he lost points for hitting his brother or arguing with us - this didn't stop the behavior and only made him angry at the system so we ahve eliminated the negative. He still gets consequences for his behavior but it is immediate and does not affect his privilege level for the week. We plan to reintroduce that aspect later when we become better at remembering to focus on the positive and less on the negative.

SO far it has helped some but we have also changed meds, sleeping habits and a variety of other things in the past month so I know it is too soon to tell what is working.

Just thought I would share our experience with a sysytem.