Im Bored with life & having ADHD | ADHD Information
I think you should leave him alone during the day and not interrupt him, and if he does like you, make plans for evening activities.
Oh, and dump your current boyfriend, no reason to complicate things and have problems if you are remaining in a bad relationship now.
Need a clean break and give time, space.
Hi Mel :)
I wouldn't go acting too hastily if I were you. Although it sounds like you and you're boyfriend aren't working out. Maybe you could talk things through with him and tell him you're not happy. And try discussing ways of mending the relationship. Then if things carry on the same way it might be a good idea to ditch him. As for the flirting with the builder guy I think that's pretty bad if you're with somebody, if you're gonna see somebody else then at least finish with the guy you've got first. But most of all be true to yourself and don't go for ppl who treat you like sh*t just because you think that's all you deserve.
I understand how you feel about getting doubts and worrying when somebody doesn't get in touch. Lots of thoughts fly through you're head and the believability of the thoughts are backed up by you're feelings( not sure if believabiity is a word but heck to it) Have you tried Cognitive Behavioural Therapy before? This helps you challenge any negative thoughts that you have and in turn changes the way you feel about things, and yourself. There's a new computer based CBT course in the UK just out. it's called "Beating the Blues" and it can really help. You'd need to speak to your GP for info.
Are you in regular contact with your GP Mel? Try talking about this stuff with him/her. And this isn't a s**t subject either, this is a place you can talk about ANY problems you might be having. But most of all keep struggling on There's hope for everyone!
Any1 in the same situation as me bored with everything cos ADHD is messing things up. Well at the moment it is for me as we are having a new kitchen so been workmen in & out so I been getting in their way flirting & non-stop talking but one of the men we swapped numbers & are now chatting but I dont like it when I won't believe that he likes me & I repeat stuff, When I txt him he don't reply cos his working but cos I dont work cos of my ADHD I dont seem to understand that he could get the sack if I keep misbehaving.
I must admit I do have a boyfriend of nearly 2yrs but he treats me like sh*t shouts & dont know about my problems but this guy I like he knows about my boyfriend but says he wants me & take care of me but im finding it hard 2 believe him cos he dont come round 2 see me when his working local but guess he has too work.
I have no confidence in myself I know that im getting on this guy nerves the way im acting! 
I know this is sh*t subject Im talking about but just thought I would mention it see what response I get back
Mel17herts38175.3435416667sumiah What you are saying sounds very like myself. I do go through life depending on others to make me happy,feel special give me confidence & support but somehow I never seem to get any of those things. My boyfriend isn't understanding at all. I hate him being out with mates having a good time, wondering if his cheating on me with another girl the thought of me not being able to monitor his moves so makes me angry but I know that I shouldnt be like that as I become obsessive & possivesess & sooner or later I will lose my boyfriend. He has no clue of my ADHD but think he has a rough idea that I do have few problems cos I can't help the way I act! The builder that I am txting I really like him but just kidding myself that something will come off it as I txt him alot but people say I shouldn't act so keen & I do feel guilty as I have a boyfriend but we are not happy everyday I wish I was happy but nothing seems to change
actually this type of behavior can be attributable to either bipolar or adhd. adhders are notorious stimulation seekers. why wouldn't flirting be part of that whole plethora of ways for us to get what we want brain wise?
i know that i've experienced some of the same type of feelings that mel has. but i've been able to get a grip somehow....i've waited and waited and waited for a phone call from a boy and just wanted to cry and had to sit there and think to myself 'he's just living his life it doesn't mean he doesn't like me'
but another altogether other mental issue is that of borderline personality disorder. bpd's have issues with for instance, if someone they are attached to leaves the room they feel empty. when they have 'relationships' with ppl they are absolutely super fast on attachment. and they depend on another absolutely for esteem and to support their whole persona..their whole reason for living only to turn and hate that person on the pedestal b/c they ultimately fail in being perfect.
its a scary disorder. anyway you can exhibit bpd symptoms without having the full blown disorder..you can have characteristics of bpd ..and what mel is talking about sounds a bit like bpd ..
i know. b/c i have some bpd characteristics. my doc was very specific to say that i'm not a bpd. but i have some characteristics. so i really really know..LOL
i do feel kind of daunted when someone i am counting on doesn't feel the urge to contact me as much as i them. like my husband or my friends even. but i'm not crazy. LOL..i just kind of feel urgent..
sumi
Mel,
Are you sure you're not also bi-polar? The behaviors you're describing seem a little severe, even for a very hyperactive person. Recklessly flirting and mulitple partners sounds like bi-polar mania to me.
I'd get rid of both the working man and boyfriend. It doesn't seem like you're getting anything out of either of those relationships. They're not reaching out to you and they're not trying to understand you. ADHD is hard enough, who needs that? You need someone who will stand by and support you.
Cheekydeeky
Latest update: The builder I like, Im txting Im getting the impression he wants me too leave him alone as when ever I say come &see me he always says he can't cos he has too work. I told him if he wants me too f**k Off all he has to do is tell me straight I feel that once again Im getting let down in my life by people. He said I can't understand that he has work but he hasn't suggested meeting at wkends or anything but Im found out that having ADHD does take people ages too get through too me cos I dont see that other people have got their life's too lead but I want to be their main person in their lifes I cling too people cos always in my mind I know im going too lose them.
The builder apparently his ill but I think its just excuses cos he wants me 2 just go away I feel hurt & my confidence is slipping. Im still having problems with me boyfriend 2day we argued but sort of ok 
Friday 9th July: Yesterday I saw Chris the builder & all the doubts I had about him wanting me too f**k Off have gone. He doesn't want me to go away he likes me alot, we was kissing & cuddling I was sitting on his lap we was chatting away, I was telling him its not love between me & my boyfriend he said love is about making sacrifies (can't spell!) I said to him are you looking for something serious he said yes if thats what I want but I said I worry about being hurt & let down he said we'll take it slowly.
I got a voicebox from him last night saying ''he enjoyed every moment being with me,''wished he could of stayed longer but his boss had massive go at him cos he was so long at our house his supposed to be working! He said that when I told him he could stay at wkends or see me at wkends he said he can do that its no problem (its 2hr drive!) he really likes me & please,please,please believe me cos its not just a painter who wants a f**k its nothing like that''
So I hope things will be ok, I do feel guilty cos of my boyfriend but why should I be nice when his treating me like sh*t I would only cheat if Im unhappy which I am
Then if this is what you want, end the bad relationship you have with your current boyfriend now.
Before he catches you, that is no way to end the relationship, just let him know straight up that what you have is not productive and that you have to end it.
Sunday 11/07/04: Latest update on the Chris the painter that I like, last night we had a blazing argument over the phone cos I just want to know where I stand with him if he likes me or not he was drinking (which he always does think he has a drink problem) Not that I need that hassle as well as my ADHD.On thrusday when he was round my house I was sitting on his lap,kissing cuddling it was nice but everything seems 2b going wrong again, Ive been feeling ill for the last 2wks my b/f isn't helping as we have been arguing as well. I just feel so tired & not sure where I stand with any1
Mel,
When someone ignores you for weeks, using his boss as an excuse and then suddenly is affectionate with you, it doesn't mean it's love. It sounds like this painter/builder guy is married. His "boss" is his wife and you don't need that kind of drama. The boyfriend is obviously not working out but I don't think you should jump into this other relationship. Talk is cheap and just because he's saying these things to you now doesn't mean that he's being honest.
Mel, it's not worth it. This is not what you need. You need a genuine, caring relationship where you can learn and gain things from the other person and you can learn what you like and don't like in a man. Persuing Mr. Who-I'm-Attracted-to-Now is a trainwreck waiting to happen. You will get used.
I was never someone to beat around the bush and some say that's part of my ADHD but I wanted to tell you what I think because it sounds like you could be headed for more trouble than you realize.
Cheekydeeky
Hi Mel,
I am not sure how old you are, I think this has some relevance to your situation (how many years has this sort of thing been going on)?
I know that one ADHD characteristic is making irresponsible decisions without any thought to the long range consequesnces. This includes flirting and diving into relationships that should never happen.
This is just an idea: #1 - Try to come up with a very firm vision of the kind of person you want to be (this will be the real you that lives down deep under all the layers of stuff that we all develop over time). #2 - Find guys that are interested in that type of person.
When you think about your current boyfriend (the one who yells at you), what would be the perfect type of person for him? Is that that type of person you are, the real you?
Discover the true person you really are. That person deserves a certain degree of dignity and respect. You should behave with that degree of dignity and respect. And then you should expect that degree of diginity and respect from others!
If you had a good friend, a sibling, or a child in the same situation, what would you recommend they do?
Hold yourself to a higher standard but also hold those who are lucky enough to be with you to a high standard! You deserve to be treated well.