New here. Here’s my story. | ADHD Information
Hi all, I'm new here. Been on other boards before but this one looks activeso I thought I'd introduce myself.
I found out at age 34 (6 years ago) that I have ADD, which explained a lot
of my inattentiveness, impulsiveness, and inconsistency in performance.
Since then it's been an interesting new existance. I had a decent job (my
20th?) and while I was there I found out about the ADD, and changed a
whole lot, but some people still wanted to push my buttons, so they kept
at it and eventually it worked and I reacted just the way they wanted me
to and wound up being let go. That hurt a lot, because I was really good
at what I was doing (with computers) but as I look back on it now, it had
to happen. That place and the people in it were toxic to me.
So, I decided to stay home with my son, who was 4 months old at the
time. Wife's had the same job for 21 years, so she became the
breadwinner while I regrouped and raised our boy. Then I made a big
decision to go back to college. My first attempt was miserable. No credits
earned. This time would be different. My goal was to get into a local
community college's nursing program. They start with candidates that
have a 4.0 GPA and usually the last seat is filled by someone with a 3.5.
That meant that I needed to get A's on all my prerequisites. So I did.
I never thought I could do it. Sometimes I still dont. But, apparently I can
do it because I graduate this coming May. Then I take the state boards
and become an RN.
I still feel, every day, every minute if I start to get really stressed about it,
that it's gonna hit the fan and I'm
going to fail, quit, not be good enough. So many years of negativity and
ridicule, and failure, are really hard to shake. I wish I could somehow
integrate all my recent successes into my assessment of myself.
Sometimes I do, but it's tough.
I'm on straterra, which I do not think is doing all that much for me - put it
this way, I'm supposed to be studying right now. I did not care much for
ritalin. I'm thinking I might try another med. Not big on the whole non-
refillable controlled substance thing, which makes straterra attractive.
Anyway, I dont like being someone that needs meds, but it's so obvious
that I do.
I better get back to doing schoolwork now. I'll be around.
SRskylarkragtop38630.7322916667
back to your studying.......right now..........stop reading
this...........ok, I can see you a problem following
friendly advice.....Have you checked into trying
different meds.....call your dR about it.
Is that your ragtop ?
Wow, I know that feeling of thinking you're going to fail even when you have succeeded! I worry about the failure parts and then just think it will repeat itself.
I try to keep positive. You will never succeed or fail until you try.
And so many people who are huge successes failed many times before the success came. So maybe we shouldn't be so down on ourselves.