How to reach out? | ADHD Information
Hi Cheeky, theres nothing wrong with you! I feel the same way. Keeping in touch on the internet is good, but i to would like to meet someone like me. I've wondered where to go to meet people ever since i learned about this board. I don't drink much or do much socializing. I always feel out of place. Your not alone. Maybe there is someone out there who will read this also and have some idea. Lets hope.Hi guys; I think this is an interesting topic. From my perspective; I was "hyperfocusing" on not having any friends BEFORE the meds. Now that my meds are keeping the negative hyperfocus to a minimum; I can relax around others; and am starting to see a difference in how people see, and treat me. All my life I THOUGHT people disliked me; and now, I don't see it that way (Because of Adderall) It's kinda wierd; what I thought was other peoples problem with me turned out to be my own erroneous perception of others. Does that make sense?Hi Cheeky,
I hope this will help you out, it's a website I stumbled across afew weeks back and it arranges meetings throughout the world for people with ADHD. I'm not sure where you're from so I don't know where the next nearest one to you is but the website is worth checking out. It sounds kinda fun:
Im 18 in 3weeks but most of my life ive been alone. All through school I never really made friends cos I did some weird things but thats cos of my ADHD no one would give me a second chance. Ive had boyfriends & now I'm with my current boyfriend of 2yrs in October but we are not really happy we always argue or I get jealous of the slightest thing but thats the ADHD again! When I get close to people I cling too them so maybe thats why I lose them I don't tell them about my ADHD cos if they dont understand then I may lose them forever & I need to keep hold of the people that I do have (If any of that makes sense!)Something that's so frusturating with ADHD is the lack of good social support. How do I reach out and find social support? People always say to join churches, clubs and the like but none of that interests me. It must be me!! I'm not a drinker, not a smoker. I go to the gym but that's not a place to meet anybody. How do I meet people? You guys are great but I still feel alone sometimes.
What the hell is wrong with me???
The Boring Cheekydeeky
my best friend (also adhd and severely so) is moving away to nyc at the end of this year..and my other best friend moved away awhile ago as we were friends in college and everyone moved away etc..
so now i am kind of alone in the suburbs of houston with my husband. i'm totally aware of what you're saying cheekydeeky. i restart school this fall at the age of 29 and i'm sure that i will have a hard time really meeting ppl that i relate to on some level seeing that i'm a married parent..and much older than the typical college population..that in itself makes me feel so ultra lonely. i feel sometimes like i'm so locked up inside of myself. its a scary feeling. i imagine the death of my body and how all my feelings and thoughts going away like a breath in the wind...the only way you are remembered in this world is by connection with others..and that is hard for us!
those that are in my inner circle are few but intensely close to me..but i'm definitely rendering my view of friendship entirely different nowadays..as a girl of course i always had my successive march of 'best friends' as girls usually do..when i moved with my husband, then my b/f to austin together at the age of 19..i started all over as i've done so many times again. (i'm an army brat) and i thought i would never find anyone. but i did. but it was easier to do that at a younger age. once you get to a certain age it seems that its nearly impossible to really meet ppl that you relate to. drifting into our thirties my husband and i and i feel like we are an island in my neighborhood. do i need someone who is exactly like me to be interested in them? yes cheekydeeky i can see your problem..all those things that ppl say to do to 'meet' ppl just don't seem to be a good option for me. i find myself vastly unattracted to ppl in a deep and meaningful way if i for instance know that i won't be able to have the type of discussions with them that i'm interested in.
i rarely meet someone that i truly feel the sympatico with..in terms of my needs in friendship.
wierdly..i've met someone lately..my boss..LOL and we're so much alike she said the other day when we were eating lunch. i find myself thinking 'i cannot wait until we don't work together so we can spend more of our time just being friends'
and its wierd b/c now i spend so much more time thinking about the complexities of life and the consequences and how its so much more definitive to end a relationship with a lover than a friend..so many gray areas..
its confusing. i am slightly pessimistic about being able to find ppl that i can really get the kind of relationship that i'm looking for. i am so damned picky! but i just cannot sit around and talk about freaking reality tv shows and shopping and my hair etc. sure, i shop and i look like a feminine woman. but who cares?
i want to talk about things that other ppl find a drag. i feel like my friends are out there arranging for the newest upcoming protest somewhere.
and i am fantasizing about my own photography projects that express my distaste for the 'over' development of green space and land. its a solo project. i can't exactly meet ppl when i'm hunting down panoramic perspectives in an empty field with a for sale sign except maybe a cop...LOL
alas!
sumi
Thanks everybody for your postings. I appreciate the support. Pretty lost, I checked out that site you recommended. Unfortunately there are not enough people in my area to set up a meeting.
But I really appreciate the gesture.
For now I can only hope that things will turn around soon.
The Hopeful Cheekydeeky