Have you guys ever wondered what we would be without ADD?
Until I recently discovered that I have ADD I thought all the traits I had were just part of my natural charm. (I don't want to sound imodest, I guess I just cannot find a better word to describe it). That's why people like me even though they might find me a little quirky and crazy at times. Some people might find me annoying but most really like me and things like always coming late everywhere and having crazy ideas & creative solutions are just part of who I am. And I am/was very comfortable being who I am/was because until recently this did not have any negative effect on my life worth mentioning.
But recently it began to really mess with my life and I almost lost my job and that's why I got diagnosed (I am out of the woods for now since I started taking meds-thanks everyone who helped me).
Now the more I read about ADD the more I realize that all the things I thought were my "charming personality" is really symptoms of my ADD. And I'm starting to wonder who I really am? I know the ADD is not going anywhere but I guess my sense of self is taking a bit of a hit. Who would I be if I did not have it? Would "my personality" disappear if I went on a slow release pill/stratera? I don't have an answer (it's kind of scary to think about it really) but I'm curious to see what you all think....
Hey slim,
They say I changed, but it was more the anti-D took the passion out of me. I used to be a hellfighter, but now I'm a, a, a, dove?
But the ADDer part stays.
perhaps you have a point slim - but maybe it's more like this.
Look at your whole personna like a car stereo. Your personality traits as speakers - surrounding the whole interior.
Now - the front two are blaring - way too loud! So loud you can't even tell that the other speakers are working - or are they?
Now our meds and therapy don't remove the speakers - they just lower the volume on some and raise it on others. It even adjusts the EQ so there's no rumble or damaging frequencies. When the meds work - the speakers sound awesome! You never lost a single speaker - just got a tuneup!!
That work for ya? I'm good at similes. Comes from describing computers for years LOL - they like similes.
you don't lose anything - you just get it so all your traits sound good and you look better!
I have more personality than I could ever imagined - and when I started I was not amazing - rather bland in fact.
Don't worry - you gain from this point on - that's a fact!
Wow, you sound exactly like I did when I first got diagnosed. How does it feel to be told what you *thought* was your personality is actually a disorder!I think what you have to remember too is that those symptoms are personality traits in everyone whether they have ADD or not. My old college roommate was chronically late and couldn't wake up with the radio blaring in her ear (I did though, I could've killed her). But this is one of the things that made her her.
I have another friend who is also "hyper" - he's an excellent sales man, he doesn't have ADD and he is usual the center of attention at every party (used to make me jealous that it wasn't me).
I have also been labeled as quirky, brutally honest, flighty, Hitler-like etc. So as you are still you. All those things that made you awesome means you're still awesome - you are creative, and charming etc. The ADD traits are a disorder only when they are causing 'disorder' in your life. You just have to get them back on track to help get your life back in 'order'.
Also remember, there are no "normal" people in the world. There is something wrong with everyone, and sooner or later the medical profession willhave a name for everything....
The thing with me is that I never thought there was really anything wrong with me in the first place. I was happy being the scatter-brain, talkative self and the only thing that gave me trouble was my inability to focus. I never had problems with school or communicating with people or being overly hyper which are some of the more negative aspects. Now I'm finding that the spontaneusness is not as good as it used to be and sometimes with the meds I even feel like my brain just does not make as fast connections as it should be and that worries me. (same happens to me when I'm really tired, which is quite often recently due to excessive amount of work - I have an interview for a new job tomorrow - keep your fingers crossed) Well I better go and get some sleep.slimacik
I was wondering the same thing. I have ADD inattentive type and I have taken meds. I ask my kids what the difference is that they see. They tell me that they see me cleaning more. I wonder if this is what I will become, someone who is obsessed with cleaning. It's funny because I just see the mess now, when before I didn't really even notice it, I was just constantly thinking of other things, my mind going 60 miles an hour.
I have been doing some exercises now and they are really helping me. (From the book, Stopping ADHD) I am not on medication but I am different. I almost wonder if I have ADD anymore at all. I am worried that my creative, funny, and spontaneous side will be gone.
I talked to my Mom about it too. She said not to worry because my talents will not go away. I still can draw like I always have been able to. I know that I spend more time cleaning and organizing, but it is easy to do now. I wonder if I will ever hyperfocus again like I used to.
I guess that there are good and bad to both sides. I hope that I can keep my spontaneous side too, I guess we will see.
I think once you figure out that you have ADD or ADHD and you see the side you have been missing through meds - or for me - through these crawling exercises - you don't really want to go back to the way it used to be.
I hope to take what I have learned from both sides and to make my life into a complete whole. That is my dream.
[QUOTE=slimacik]The thing with me is that I never thought there was really anything wrong with me in the first place. I was happy being the scatter-brain, talkative self and the only thing that gave me trouble was my inability to focus. I never had problems with school or communicating with people or being overly hyper which are some of the more negative aspects. Now I'm finding that the spontaneusness is not as good as it used to be and sometimes with the meds I even feel like my brain just does not make as fast connections as it should be and that worries me. (same happens to me when I'm really tired, which is quite often recently due to excessive amount of work - I have an interview for a new job tomorrow - keep your fingers crossed) Well I better go and get some sleep.[/QUOTE]