Ned Hallowell Talks to Teens
Edward (Ned) Hallowell, M.D. is a Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard University, and an instructor in psychiatry there. Ned is also ADD & Dyslexic himself & is the best selling author of 10 books. He is a child and adult psychiatrist, the director and founder of The Hallowell Center for Cognitive and Emotional Health, Ned is also on Oprah Winfrey's list of experts.
When I was in high school,
I was worried or sad a lot of the time. I came from a pretty mixed-up
family and didn't feel very secure within myself. I felt pressure not
only to do well academically but also to be liked and accepted by the
others in my class. Often I felt on the outside, and I didn't know what
to do to find a way to the happy, secure life I imagined my classmates
enjoyed.
I wish someone had been able to sit down with me and explain that my
feelings were common among people like me, people who have learning
differences (I have both dyslexia and attention deficit disorder), as
well as people who have a family history of mental illness and
alcoholism, as I do. My father had bipolar (or manic-depressive)
illness, and my mother was alcoholic.
If all this sounds frightening, take heart. I am a very fulfilled man
today. At the age of 52, I have three happy children whom I adore, a
wonderful wife whom I cherish, and a multi-faceted job I love. I am a
psychiatrist in private practice and on the faculty of Harvard Medical
School, a writer, and a public speaker.
But I wish someone had told me, when I was in high school, what I am now
going to tell you. It would have saved me a lot of heartache. However,
no one did. This was not because no one cared. It was because most
people didn't know. The average person thought of emotions like sadness
or fear or worry in terms of character and upbringing. If you suffered
from sadness or excessive worry this was considered at best to be bad
luck, and at worst it was evidence that you were weak, had rotten
parents, or both. Therefore, not only did no one counsel me regarding my
feelings, I felt compelled to hide them a great deal of the time,
covering them over with self-effacing humour or silence.
Common Feelings
What I would have liked to know back then, and what I am going to tell
you now, is that excessive worry and sadness are common among talented,
creative people. Indeed, it is more the rule than the exception that a
person with creative gifts will also struggle with periods of excessive
worry or sadness. That is not to say depression and anxiety are merit
badges, but it is most certainly to say they are nothing to be ashamed
of. Not in the least.
All people need to know this. Don't hide your feelings, especially the
painful ones. It can be a matter of life and death. Sadness and worry
can lead people to abuse alcohol and other drugs; make terrible
decisions about their lives; and even attempt suicide.
Personal Connections
How do you know if your sadness or worry is dangerous? How do you know
when to ask for help? A good rule of thumb is this: Never worry alone.
Never keep these feelings to yourself. If you are sad or worried or
both, talk to someone you trust. Then see how you feel. If you feel
better, good. But if the sadness and worry persist, then speak to your
parents, or a teacher, or a doctor.
What can they do? Isn't this just life? That's what I thought when I was
in high school back in the late 1960s. I thought this was just "the
human condition," and the best I could do, indeed what I was supposed to
do, was suck it up. Tough it out.
That is a dangerous - not to mention ineffective - solution.
In fact, mental health professionals have a lot of practical remedies to
offer for both excessive sadness and excessive worry. You do not have to
suffer in silence; you should not suffer in silence. That suffering
detracts from your enjoyment of life, your performance in school, your
abilities in sports, and even your physical health. Prolonged worry or
sadness can actually make you physically ill. And at their worst, they
can make you try to hurt yourself.
But don't go there. There is no need to. We have help available, help
that actually works. All you have to do is tell some adult you are in
trouble and need help. Above all, as I said before, never worry alone.
Depression and Excessive Worry
Depression (which is just prolonged sadness) and excessive worry are not
to be accepted as simply a part of the human condition, any more than
pneumonia or a broken leg are. All of these conditions deserve medical
treatment. Fortunately, we have treatments that work. However, while
most young people get treatment if they come down with pneumonia or
suffer a broken leg, they often do not get treatment if they suffer from
depression or excessive worry. This is because no one has told them what
they have is a medical problem for which there is effective treatment.
Let me describe depression for you in a
little bit more detail. You may feel the following symptoms:
Prolonged sadness
Loss of interest in activities that used to interest you
Feelings of listlessness and lethargy
Lack of motivation
Feelings of "why bother?"; feelings of hopelessness
Feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem
Feelings of social isolation
Feeling that you can't make friends
Feeling that you don't like people in general
Desire to sleep a lot; or inability to sleep when you want to
Weight gain or weight loss
Change for the worse in your personal appearance
Increased use of alcohol or other drugs
Comments from friends that you have changed or that they are worried about you
If you feel any of these,
ask for help from a responsible adult whom you trust. Tell
them you read an article that said you might be suffering from
depression. Don't let the adult dismiss what you are saying. Adults do
not like to think of young people as being depressed, so even
well-informed adults might try to tell you it is just a passing phase.
Tell them that might be true, but you need help now, before the phase
does you damage.
Excessive, or what I call "toxic" worry may
include the following:
Increased, prolonged anxiety as compared to your peers
Feelings of fear, even when there is nothing to be afraid of
Chronic feelings of anxious apprehension, even in stable times
Inability to perform certain activities, like speaking up in class, due to fear feelings or fears of being ridiculed or rejected
Chronic feelings of social inadequacy
Chronic feelings of insecurity
Constant worry about whether people like you or not
Fears that are greater than what others tell you is reasonable or appropriate
Tendency toward perfectionism
Inability to reassure yourself
Fear of telling others about your true feelings
Physical symptoms, like shortness of breath, dry mouth, or sweaty palms during moments of worry or anxiety
Bouts of panicky feelings
Vigilant, apprehensive search for what might go wrong, even when everything is going wellI just wonder which drug company paid him and how much did they pay him.
"We now have excellent medications for both depression and worry, medications that work well and have few side effects."....
AND THEY ALL HAVE THE FDA"S STRONGEST "BLACK BOX" WARNING ON THEM. "
In Canada they all must warn that there is an INCREASED RISK OF SUICIDAL THOUGHTS with these meds...
and that they "MAY CAUSE PERIODS OF SEVERE AGITATION RESULTING IN SELF HARM OR HARM TO OTHERS !"
Reality, you are one crazy dude/dudette. Seriously...
Here's what I recommend you do. Read the post after yours mutiple times. Have fun with it. Print it out, read it in silly voices! Just as long as you read it. 'Cause you are scary. Like, Halloween night pumpkin smashing scary.
Oh, yeah, the doctor works at HARVARD. Plus he has ADD.
Dr. Harvard McSupersmart-2
Reality O'Sassypants-0.
[QUOTE=reality]I just wonder which drug company paid him and how much did they pay him.
"We nw have exelnt meitions footh deprion and woredications that work well and have feide effts."....
ANTHEY ALHAVE THE FDSTROEST "BLAC BO WAING OHEM. "
Ianadhey alst warat thes an INISK OF SUI THOTS withe emeds...
anhat theAY CAUERIODS OSVERE AGITON RESIN SELHAM ORARM TO OHRS !"
[/QUOTE]
I this what you said?
I'm glad that a pro with ADHD is meeting kids. I felt so alone in my life in high school. I was sure I was a freak - totally alone and uniquely unfit.
Glad you posted - very reassuring that a guy like this is there rather than the James Dobsons and other anti-med crusaders. sounds very balanced in his views and explains it so well!
awesome.
Reality,