Newbe Oh My Gosh | ADHD Information
Hi,
My name is joe and Iam 48 years old. Up until this morning I believed ADHD was a hoax sold to the public for profit. Man as I wrong.
I have had trouble in school since I was in second grade. I can remember seeing councelors for "being figity", "Conduct problems", "class clown", "not working to my potential", ect...... I had psychitrists called into my grammer school to talk to me. I could never do homework because the information seemed insurmountable. I compenated by hacking around, joking, avoiding, then finally giving up. Giving up became the standard behavior of my life. By 15 I was full blown alcoholic. By 17 I had been asked to leave 5 seperate schools and was homeless.
Treatment centers, detoxes, 1/2 way houses, loss of finances, loss of jobs. Everyone had always told me how smart I was. My IQ was measure at 138. I held my act together long enough to get a Nursing Degree and was able to graduate with a 3.1 GPA. I read in another post where someone wrote, :If you do that well in school you don't have ADHD. Obviosly the respondent doesn't know the FOCUS it takes and the INCREDABLE amount of brain time involved. People usually refer to this as "struggling". Apt term..
When I started out on my Nursing carrer I thought I had finally arrived. Then I began to make careless mistakes. Med errors. Missed warnings. This is a career killer. I found I had to focus more, concentrate, be careful. ALL THE TIME. Constantly unsure of every move. Anxiety, fear of potential failure, I kept leaving jobs, feeling like crap about myself, picking up alcohol. Pattern. Over and over, low self-esteem to no self esteem or the knee jerk response of false pride. Go to AA.....still drink, Go to church....still pick up, go to counceling....binge, loss of wife, children, home, money, dog. Fear of failure became a way of life, and with that fear a need for relief from it. Finally suicidal thoughts.....I can't go on like this. Self labels: screw-up, moron, fool, bad person, reprobate......
As I said, I was not a believer in medication....a crutch....do it on my own. Like that had ever been successful. People told me they thought I was ADHD. I told them there was no such thing.
Last Friday I picked up a drink.....AGAIN. I want to make something clear. I have more than a man can ask for. A great wife, own my own home, no debt, financially ok, healthy (except for the obvious). I have just about everything I could ask for.......But I got drunk and took a mototcycle for a ride. My rationalle.....At least I will only kill myself. I did not care.
Last night I prayed to God AGAIN (Actually I begged again) to be relieved of this because I just can not go on like this. I destroy everying I touch. I hate myself.
My wifes son takes Adderral for ADHD. I had breakfast with him this morning and began telling him about some of the problems I have been having, he told me that it was obvious to him I was ADHD and to everyone else we collectively knew. He asked if I wanted to try his one of his Adderral. Yea, I know this isn't legal, but you know, neither is suicide and I was thinking of trying that too....so what the heck did I have to loose.
THE BEES STOPED!!!!!!!!!!!
For 48 years i have had 100 bees fyling around in my head. There is also a small landing spot in the center of my head. Whenever a bee would land there, I would have his related thought. Good or bad. "Your OK" or "Your gonna screw up". whatever it said, I thought. As a nurse, I used to go into what I called "focus mode" as described previously. This is when i would concentrate on getting 10 of the 100 bees to sync in cooperation in order to attempt my job without error. In school i would do the same thing. I would also get 3 or 4 other resources (especially the books, "whatever For Dummies") to explain in3 or 4 diffeent ways concepts that anyone else could get with one explanation. I had the whole library of dummies books. Much more work than my peers. The other 90 bees would pull my concentration away. I would read pages and not know what they stated and be thinking of some nonsence entirely unrelated to what I was doing.
Today the bees got together for the common good.
Actually, I didn't even know about the bees until they did this. I had never experienced what I would now call, "clarity of mind". If i hadn't experienced it, I would not have believed it possible. Today I experienced what it is like to be like other people. To look back at prior ways as.......insanity. How did i stay alive? The most amazing thing was that I was reading a statistics text and the auther stated, "It is obvious from the formula for joint probabilty that if we know the probability of an event A and the joint probability of events A and B, then we can calculate the conditional probability of B given A". Well it was never "obvious" before!!!!! But it was today!
Obviously, I intend to get put on this mediacation on a permanent basis. Who should i see. Primary MD, councelor, get a psychiatrist? I won't take NO for an answer anyway. I would continue to seek new Drs. untill one prescribed it. Now that I know this is possible, i don't ever want to go back!
I just scored a 44. and I'm 41, no meds
, still need testing
[QUOTE=repairman]
Better yet: theres no such thing as tom cruise,theres no such thing as tom cruise, theres no.....[/QUOTE]
ROFL !!!!! 
Couldn't get through the test. Is there a cliff notes version?Don't ya wish Tom Cruise could experience unmedicated childbirth?
I scored a 38. Damn, I always score lower than everybody else. I was never good at taking tests!
Welcome to the light at the end of the tunnel. Talk to your practitioner - you will probably need a referral - they may recommend a neurologist or a therapist or both.
I will be seeing my 2nd neuro in two weeks. I am hoping this one doesn't laugh at me like the last one did. Then I would like to find a therapist (or I'm trying to find one now). Save yourself the copays though and when you call to make appts, make sure they specialize in things like ADHD, if not, don't bother. There are still drs out there who have your newly lost beliefs that there is no such thing as ADHD especially in adults.
I never considered myself as having ADHD really bad. Bad enough to screw up my life but nowhere near as severe as most people. Ha! I'm a 46! I should have gotten help long ago.I'll be your help! Now, repeat after me:
I do not have Tom Cruze. I do not have Tom Cruze. I do not have Tom Cruze.
Do that 50,000,000.00 times, and you'll still have ADD, but it will have distracted you to death... I mean, you'll grow old distracted, and then die, and we can blame it on Novartis... better yet! HOllyTRash!!!
I do not have Tom Cruze. I do not have Tom Cruze. I do not have Tom Cruze.
Davidornado38637.9984143519Better yet: theres no such thing as tom cruise,theres no such thing as tom cruise, theres no.....
I skoard 49. Yup. Knew it.
I just took the test on the link.
42
I think I scored 50. They left some symptoms out, so I created them. But then I forgot where I put them...
Did you see where it said, print this out and take it to your doctor?
Do the same for the depression and other psych tests, just so you can tell your doc you are objective, and considered other possibilities, including normality...
Btw, I'm 50. OMG!...I thought I was still 49... My b'day was last week... I was dx'd @ 40, but resisted the meds until 42.
It's not been the cure-all, but it sure made my life makes sense, and is helping me raise my 3 of 4 kids with it in a lot better environment than I had.
Do you have trouble falling asleep? Well, ya. If you answered 42 positive.
I should go take the test again. It's been a few months, and I forget what I didn't test positive in.
Btw, that was pretty quick... how ADD of you...
What Bees? Where! OMG!!! There's bees in my head!!! I always thought they were As or Cs. Maybe Deees. I like Dees. I'll let 'em de dees.
Oops, sorry. No, I'm not. But it sounded nice. Hmmmm, to answer your question, don't go to Dr. No. He no good.
Don't go to Dr. Kaiser, either. They no good. They don't believe in AADHD. I liken them to scientologists, who are, in all culpability, atheiADHDists.
A psychiatrist is best for a first diagnosis. Go in armed with info, and a self-administered analysis. I'll post a link at the bottom of this sink. After the initial dx, if you want, any MD can write the "Schedule II" "triplicate" prescription. Beware the docs that want to start you on Strattera, which is a newer "frontline" AD/HD med. It's okay, but if ADDerall worked for you, insist on it. It's your body anyway, you have the right to say YES!!!
Also, if you're suicidal, or have murderous thoughts, consider a co-morbid dx and accept anti-D's. There are several that have AD/HD mitigative effects. Do you crave carbos? That's an indication of low serotonin levels, common in ADDers and Depressives. Do you like dark or white turkey meat? Lots of tryp in turkey, hence the craving.
I was like an almond orchard 6 months after bloom: totally nuts. Then they put me on a round about, and 8 years later I feel great, and think fairly straight. Not that I ever thought gay, but... hehe. Anyway, sounds like your epiphany just pulled into the station.
Well, come to the Tapestry (the sum of all threads)...
http://my.webmd.com/medical_information/health_tools/alpha_t oc.htm?z=2000_00103_1113_rx_02
I scored a 41......
.........at least I can do good on one test...hehe...
If the doc you choose to see tries to prescribe Strattera, please read a LOT of info on it before agreeing to take it!! Lots of men have had very bad side effects. Some have not, so it doesn't mean that you will, just a head's up.....I take Adderall and am very pleased..
I have that "I destroy everything I touch" kind of feeling, too. That is very hard to live with. Things got better for me with meds. Not perfect, but much better. Good luck to you! Say goodbye to the bees !!
Kimberly
Better yet: theres no such thing as tom cruise,theres no such thing as tom cruise, theres no.....ROFLSFJIFOAI;EJFA;
fricking hysterical. why am i in such a good mood this morning? every post is making me laugh my socks off! oops there goes the other one.
oooooOOOOOooooo, what's next?
I scored a 43. Didn't realize my life was as much a failure as it had been due to ADHHHD until I was 55 yrs old!!! (I'm 56 now.) ARGGHHH! I just hope it won't take more time than I have to find real happiness, or at least contentment. 
(Actually, 56 isn't really that old, folks. 
) Unfortunately, I haven't had much success with Ritalin and Concerta (same med). I'd love to try Adderall; however, since I'm covered by Medicaid, they won't pay for it. What's a girl to do??? 
Dave, This was the link I PM'd you about. I finally found it. I blame our miscommunication on TOM CRUISE! Its all his fault!
I don't have Tom Cruise! I don't have Tom Cruise! I don't have Tom Cruise!
There's no such thing as Tom Cruise! There's no such thing as Tom Cruise! There's no such thing as Tom Cruise!
Man, now you have me posting these cutesy things! 
Does anybody else think Danny Bonaduce needs this website??
Tom Cruise is a fruit Loop. Sorry, but I think anyone who is that wickedly judgemental deserves a serious and painful illness. And no meds.
OhMyGosh, so glad you have found your problem, and hope the solutions are soon to follow. Wish it could be that easy for all ADD'rs. My hubby and daughter are struggling. ANd we have no script coverage which sucks.
2058, but who's counting...
Hey, we could do a word count!
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, here, you do the rest...
But I have been here 14 more days than you, maybe that's why...no flippin idea --- glad i'm not the only one. Who's Danny Bonaduce?Hey played Danny Partridge on the Partridge Family--c'mon David, I know you know that show! ok, ya caught me--I watch those stupid reality shows--"Breaking Bonaduce" is about him now in his 40's, and he's so classically ADHD it's painful. He reminds me so much of my ex. Please tell me I am not the only one who watches these ridiculous shows...i can't believe you have at least 2000 more posts than meDavido ---
i reckon they should count the number of words posted instead
- huh??? that'd make it a little closer.....
we never got the partridge family in the UK so --- whatever,
poor guy. send him some Adderall in some fan mail. he'll
probably be forever grateful!
Sorry, 'gurl,
I don't watch TV, it entertains me while channel surfing...
I do know a/b the Partridge family, but didn't like it b/c it was in a pear tree.
I hated TV as a kid. Either it was too stupid, or too scarry.
I rather like to play.
I'm new here and have found everything very interesting. I took the test and scoared 36....feeling a little smug until I realized that 36 is still in the "severe" catagory!! hmmmm...at least I'll have something constructive to think about tonight while I'm laying in bed wide awake!!Wait, what happened??? I was on another page and responded (to Davidorando's post) and it ended up on this post. I guess I can't concentrate on ANYTHING!!! (sigh)hey i scored a 46...just diagnosed what almost a month ago...no wonder my life b4 meds sucked....now at least i no what normal is......thanks for the link david.....hadnt found that one b4[QUOTE=Davidornado]My b'day was last week... I was dx'd @ 40, but resisted the meds until 42.
] Happy bday, mine too! 10/13 and all of a sudden 45 seems really old. I think its cuz I haven't gotten very far. I've (only ) managed to do well enuf for my life to look good from the outside. Took the test scored 42. I think I'll try my sons adderall tomorrow. Hey! I turned 50 and all of a sudden 50 didn't seem so old anymore!!!