LOL dave,
no one cringes from two thank you's. LOL...not me at least!
i'm sure that inattentive adhders definitely got a bad rap of it with the whole laziness thing. i too also constantly interrupt ppl and fortunately my forte is communication and i'm usually able to pull it off without sounding like TOO much of a jerk but its not a good thing nevertheless...my husband and i quibble about that one quite a bit. i don't seem to be able to change it ever. i've seen much more improvement in general on wellbutrin + adderall so i'm able to get off my ass and do something. i used to dully consider the millions of things 'i should do' but never could seem to garner enough of something to do it. it wasn't that i lacked motivation- i was clearly motivated- i just felt like there was a glass wall in front of me that prevented me from walking forward and doing normal tasks. i detested doing things that were 1) difficult for me to maintain attention at all like cleaning 2) a nightmare in terms of being able to organize those particular tasks in ways that are manageable etc.
so it ended up with me being in tears b/c i couldn't figure out why why why oh why am i so retarded that i can't even clean my closet out? pick up my clothes?
being half asian..well ..if you're even slightly 'lazy' you're considered a failure and a bad seed. i was the permanent dissapointment of my poor mother..for years she would say 'are you in school?' and one day she stopped asking. when i noticed this it was totally deppressing. if my mom can't even hold up the hope that i'll finish school who can? LOL
thank god for the drugs.
i'm restarting this fall..
sincerely
sumi
sumiah,
I also have the same problems in my household, I'm also asian and my brother is going to be going to med school next year and sister is a well established nurse, while I'm struggling through school and my parents think I'm a failure who doesn't apply myself haha. Anyway, I got diagnosed with ADD at age 21, which sucks because I think about how much time I have lost since I was young, I personally knew something was wrong with me since I was 10 years old. I could never keep my attention with anything. I remember my teacher used to have these 2 minute long stories readings and then we just had to answer 2 or 3 questions based on what he read to us and I couldn't do it. I couldn't keep my attention listening to him for even 2 minutes. My mother said that when I a lot younger I used to get in fights with everyone and was a handful around the house. All through my life I always felt like my brain was wandering places. I had a lot fo the same symptoms the thread starter of this post experiences. My meda have completely changed me to the point where people around me notice a big difference in my punctuality.
oh ! its so great to meet another asian who is tortured by cultural expectations! LOL
as a woman it sucks! anyway my symptoms really are viewed differently than boys..as a girl i was just so talkative that i got in a lot of trouble at school. it was considered 'disruptive' but they just thought i was an annoying chatterbox more than anything else. used to read my own books during class b/c i could NOT stand to be sitting there and being bored out of my skull. moments of boredom..sitting somewhere i don't want to but i have to..just enrages me almost. i get so impatient and upset b/c i cannot go anywhere. at work i have to occupy myself with boards like this,
and shopping and reading LOL
but i tried to explain my adhd once and she was completely in a state of shock. she said "but you were so normal!" and i laughed my ass off.
really mom? i was normal? lesse..i wore my dress inside out sometimes b/c i didn't even notice it once it was on..i was impulsive concerning my comments, i actually offended adults occasionally ( i told one man that his laugh was wierd when i was eight , i'll never live that down) and lost everything like keys and lunch money and clothes etc constantly. my mother repeatedly chastised me with 'what is wrong with you?' ..'try harder' ..'how come you lose everything?' ..'why are you so lazy?' ..'why do you talk so much?' blah blah blah.
so yeah. so normal mom! i guess time and living on another continent made her forget all those years of urging me to be more normal.
all my cousins have masters' degrees and they are all very accomplished. and i'm a community college dropout. it makes me feel guilty.
but you know what? i'm on medication now. so world just wait til i get my degrees!!! i'm going to get my phd. i might be eighty. but i'm getting it! LOL
i too am wistful about my childhood ..i find myself thinking occasionally..if only we had known! but girls didn't have adhd ..and i can't whine tremendously b/c at least i'm not finding out about this in my fifties..i daydream about having my life solved at an early age..yes! i would of been able to receive different type of curriculum achieved my full potential! i could of finished highschool early! etc.
but that is ridiculous..at least i have the tools now to make my life easier on me and work around this and move forward.
i'm going to gag. i could write ladies home journal stories about counting blessings.
sumi
Yeah sumiah it's messed up how ADD effects your life. I was lucky and somehow managed to graduate high school and get into a top 50 university (Penn State), but I almost screwed everything up because my symptoms kept getting worse. In college with the work load doubled I noticed that my symptoms got even worse so my grades significantly dropped. My first semester that I had with my drugs which just ended I managed to get a gpa that reflected my abilities a lot better. I also noticed that I was finishing my studying before I had planned to. The feeling is without comparison, especially after you have been through the hell of ADD. I know exactly how you feel about everyone else going ahead while you feel like you are in a slump that you can never get out of. Anyway, I'm sure everything will work out for the best sooner or later, until then don't take sh*t from anyone and keep working hard. GO TURN THAT ADD INTO A PHD!
dieburnbot38182.6340162037Hello all,
I have an odd question for you, do adults who suffer ADHD daydream too much when doing mundane on normal things. I often wondered why my mind drifts so much during the day. I can't seem to go an hour without my my wandering to some day dream or another. I have tried very hard to control this, but alas I am helpless too, it just happens.
I am not jumpy and am very calm, but I can't sit in a meeting without twirling my pen or playing with my pen cap, putting it on and off over and over. I can't drive down the road without one hand playing with some object on my seat, or tapping my pen or pulling on the hairs of my beard (wierd i know, but I have to do it, can't explain it), daydreaming all kinds of stuff. Sometimes I have more than one day dream going on at the same time, and I will jump back and forth if I get bored with one. There is nothing sick or twisted or abnormal about the dreams, other than I think I daydream far too much.
At work I am a supervisor, and some of the people who work with me tell me I have the attention span of a puppy. If someone tells me something, its like I totally forget the conversation I just had five minutes ago with someone else. I have all these great idea's but I never seem to finish them, and though I work very hard sometimes, it seems I don't get much done.
But I can sit down and enoy a good book, and I can relax, sometimes I get away for that reason. I feel I have so many things going on in my head at the same time to think about it overwelms me, and I fold down and pull away and find peace somewhere.
I can't remember appointments, anything beyond a week and not a ritual schedule, like every monday, will be missed.
I can't remember names, or I get people confused all the time, if I haven't seen someone in a while I loose their name until I had sufficient time to recall.
I procrastinate my bills, which has caused me to have horrible credit, though the money is in the bank. Why? can't quite tell ya, other than it takes allot of energy to sit at the table and concentrate on what I need to do.
I have started a thousand projects that I never finished :(
I know I'm not lazy, or stupid, though sometimes I get mad at myself and beat myself up with these terms,
Its just, well... I think to fast, is the best way I can describe it. Even when I type I will often leave off words, as if my typing can't keep up with my train of thought.
But the day dreaming has always been the biggest problem, can anyone out there ever heard of a ADHD person having a daydreaming issue, I am just learning about this, and would appreciate the help. I am 38, and a father of a great kid who was just diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD, and thats what got me thinking....
anyone?
uh yes, you seem to have inattentive adhd.
and i'm diagnosed with half of that...meaning i'm a combo of hyper and inattentive. i suggest you read up on it. yes daydreaming is a very common thing with adhders
my whole life i've been plagued by it. all my report cards express this. i do it when ppl are talking to me. i work in a callcenter and must be very detail oriented but when my clients talk to me sometimes i just daydream b/c i'm so bored with all their mindless useless explanations and chatter. i have no patience with that and my mind totally turns off when ppl start to bore me.
unfortunately this has happened to me with my husband. and he hates it. when he talks about his job (which i find relentlessy boring..except if he describes the drama human aspect of it) i just blank out. answer with a 'huh?'
it gets me into trouble.
sumi
oh - i shake my foot all the time when i'm falling asleep and when i'm sitting at my dest i just perpectually squirm never feeling like i can get 'quite' comfortable and i pace at the elevator and i do feel like my hands have to be occupied or i feel like an idiot. fortunately for me i get to hold purses or bags...that way i'm occupied.
hmmm... Thanks for the reply..
This is so new to me, its an avenue I haven't even considered. The more I read the more I realize and see. I have been treated for depression for the last 20 years, I always thought the medication was helping the depression, but I wonder if it was lending a hand with the adhd too. Right now I am on Wellbutrin, and that seems to help some with organazation as well as depression.
I read some other symptoms that ring home..
I can never read a book page to page, I always jump around, seldom taking the chapters in the proper order. It is not uncommon for me to read the last two chapters before I read the middle.
I interupt people when they talk all the time, (drives my wife nuts)not meaning too, and I have an awful habbit on answering questions before people have finished the question. I often have to really try mentally to avoid this, because its rude.
I have a hard time planning on anything for the future, its just too distracting, kind of a live day to day type of guy.
there are others, actually three are few I don't relate too, except, I am seldom abusive, or act out in rage. I am not hyperactive, even when I was a child, the worst you could say about me was I drew constantly. i do mean constantly, in class, i always had a pen in my hand and was doodling and daydreaming, when I should have been paying attention :( On the bright side, I did learn to draw very well and it has turned into something I still enjoy, and am proud of.
So...what I could really use is a nice book or website about inattentive Adult ADHD, so I might understand myself better, this could be something that could explain years of fustration I could never quite put a finger on, but knew something was off.
By the way, thanks Sumiah for the quick understanding response, it is appreciated.
BAH ... see what I mean, I started the reply with a thankyou, and by the time I got to the bottom I had forgotten I did that,... and rethanked you
Sorry, hate when I do that....
Same exact problem here, racing thoughts, my mind just keeps jumping from one thing to the next, and it puts me off to getting serious work done, actually I have gotten worse about it over the last few weeks to the point I am ready to just give up on work and quit, find something else that don't require my focus as much as this job does.Dave, GOOD for you! You have taken the very first step towards getting help! You have figured out that you have a problem and can now get some help with it! I am new to all of this too, and have only been on medication for a few weeks. It is helping some, and I am learning from hanging out reading these boards and also from reading (Skipping around --end-- --middle----beginning-- of course) several different books. One is Driven to Distraction.
Stick around and the people sharing will show you that you are not alone. For me this has been wonderful. Just knowing that I am not so terribly alone in this frustrating life!!!
Hang in! Donna (Moodyintx)