Easy come, easy go | ADHD Information

The girl I saw the other night cancelled for tomorrow night. And said she would call me to reschedule, but I know that means I probably will never hear from her again. I don't want to give up hope that I'll hear from her again, but at the same time I just feel like im being naive if I expect a call. I know what you all are thinking. He's overreacting. But this situation has come up b4 and they never call! So my track record speaks for itself. I don't know what I did wrong, but i'm sure i did something to turn her off. Just like every other relationship i have ever had. Over before it starts. I guess I should just start warming up to the fact that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.

Well, this probably won't be any consolation to you now but here is my story: For the longest time, all through high school and after I never had a relationship that lasted for more than a couple months. And many times if I was ever asked out, I usually was not asked for a second date.

But then I met my husband and we just hit it off. In fact, from the day we met we've been together almost every day since! Been married for 23 years now.

Point being, I, too, was quite positive I would be spending the rest of my life alone. But all it takes is that one special someone. I can't tell you when you will meet her, but I can tell you from my heart that you *will* meet her one day!

Im having problems with lovelife at the moment.. Im with my boyfriend but we are not getting on well & me & 27yr old painter I like we are flirting he says his really serious about me but I just can't tell if he's just after one thing or really does like me The problem is I live in Hertfordshire UK & he lives In Bedfordshire UK so its quite along drive but he has a car.I don;t want me & him 2 be txting forever if he does like me I just need 2 know where I stand

I hope so.

It's just that i;m nearly 30 and I want to have a family. However I'd rather start a family earlier rather than later because I don't want to be requiring a walker to have a catch with my son (or daughter). Every time something likes this happens, it just takes forever for me to recover. This is the first date I have had since my last relationship which also ended very abruptly. That was more than a year ago. It just seems that if I get a girl's attraction, then rejection, it takes me about another year b4 I can get another date. I don't know why that is. But I don't want to wait for another year to at least have the chance to being building a relationship. This pattern has to end!

[QUOTE=kimo]

But then I met my husband and we just hit it off. In fact, from the day we met we've been together almost every day since! Been married for 23 years now.

[/QUOTE]

Donny, Sometimes it does seem like it will take forever, if at all. Don't give up. I'm going to use an example we use at work, don't take this the wrong way. I sell houses. You take people out, you drive them around and show them all of the homes out there. They then call you and say they just remembered they have a friend that sells homes and they will use them. Just like being dumped. But we have to remember it's a numbers game. The more you take out the better chance you have of selling a home. If it takes 8-10 clients to sell one home, you'd better be work'in with 30 of them to sell the 3. And I keep talking to more people, that is what keeps the cycle going.

You need to ask every girl that interests you out. you are bound to find one that is compatable with you. It's a numbers game. The more you ask the better chance of going on dates.

The more "no's" you get the closer you are to getting a yes!

Just my opinion. This and will get you a cup of coffee at starbucks! (a small)

I have trouble playing the numbers game. I feel stupid asking out every girl i see. I know some guys can do that and not get bothered by rejection. I have to find a way to get in that mindset. I have to be in that mindset for everything i do. I worry about how i'm going to react to things so much. I look at a girl in a bar and I don't approach her because I don't want to get my feelings hurt. As we have talked about on this message board many times, I just can't get in that zone where I can be confident and not worry about rejection. I know that I should, but i just can't. I hear all the talk about how you can't worry about it, just go for it. And sometimes i do. But when it actually comes time to make the move, I freeze up. Then I'll be ashamed of myself for freezing up. I know this sounds silly. But I'm really looking for ideas on how to deal with a situation in real-time and not just in theory. Has anyone else been in these types of situations, and it doesn't just have to be in dating. Just where you get to a situation and you react the wrong way, even though you know better. Then you beat yourself up for reacting that way and BAM your day, maybe your week (or worse) is ruined.

[QUOTE=Gotta go]

You need to ask every girl that interests you out. you are bound to find one that is compatable with you. It's a numbers game. The more you ask the better chance of going on dates.

The more "no's" you get the closer you are to getting a yes!

Just my opinion. This and will get you a cup of coffee at starbucks! (a small)

[/QUOTE]

Donny,

Sometimes it doesn't work out. This is the life of a single person! I know because I'm single. I've had a couple of long-term relationships that didn't pan out. I don't know that I'll ever have the luck Kimo had with suddenly finding someone she really "clicked" with. But that doesn't mean I'll stop trying. All I know is I'm trying to fix myself before I'm looking for a relationship. I have issues that need to be resolved before I'll be happy in any relationship.

ps-I've never found a compatible person in a bar. I find those people are generally not looking for anything deep or special, more often a one-night stand or someone that will spend a lot of money on them. So don't feel bad, in that case it probably has nothing to do with you.

Cheekydeeky

Hey Donny,

I don't know if this is good advice or not, but maybe something to check out. First of all, I agree with Cheeky, meeting people at clubs or in bars is generally a drag.

My son (25 years old) is with a really great girl right now. I think they may get married. They met using an online dating service. This sounded strange to me at first, but apparently there are some that go into great detail matching up personal information with other people. I used to think these things were for people who were desperate, but I think that has all changed. My son is tall, well-built (works out regularly), and very handsome (he takes after his mother's family). He is a college grad and is thinking about going to law school. His girlfriend is also a college grad, is very engaging and interesting, and is totally gorgeous! Neither of them had any trouble meeting people or getting dates, but they just could not find someone compatible.

My niece (age 23) is dating a guy she really likes and they met the same way. The service matched up all their likes, dislikes, interests, values, politics, religion, etc.

If I were single, I think I would give it a shot.

Does anyone else know much about these dating services?

Yes, I've got a profile on an Internet dating service and no, I'm not desparate. But word to the wise, you will definitely run into desparate people with these services. But if you find a good service, you can pretty much decide who you want to talk to and have as little or as much contact with them as you want. If you just shuffle through the profiles, it's going to be disappointing but if you spend time searching and narrowing who you're looking for, you start to find people you're attracted to.

Cheekydeeky, the Internet single