I HAVE to believe that our ADHD children can have happy and fulfilling lives. If I believed otherwise, I couldn't go on. Nor could I instill that same sense of optimism in my children.
I do understand worrying about things - but, please, for your children's sake, don't lose faith that they will come through the challenges that they face successfully! I believe that the deciding factor for all children (ADHD and not) is the way in which they are raised. All children do not have the same opportunities in life, nor are they all blessed with the gifts and talents that they (or their parents) would choose for them. But if we do our jobs right as parents - they can all grow up to be decent, upstanding people with loving hearts and compassionate souls. It's the Circle of Life.
[QUOTE=Rae70]Thank you all for your positive stories and comments. Sometimes worry can consume me for my children, particularly my son as the males in my family have not turned out well and some women too. But then again - they never had as good a mummy as me. Thanks again - Rae70 [/QUOTE]
You go girlfriend!
We all get down & discouraged sometimes. This is a great place to come to find out you are not alone & to pick up & try again.Actually, just as an aside, Jim Carrey has either bipolar or depression. It's on the list there too. NOT SURPRISED AT ALL...lol.
I think our kids will grow up fine as long as we keep up to date with them.
I think the most important thing is to teach our kids how to relieve their energy in a healthy positive manner.
My son who is 5 years old loves to sing and dance with the Wiggles. So I bought him a guitar and some CD's. I let him play his radio loud and sing, play his guitar, and dance loudly ALL day. Although it does get annoying to the rest of us, I just remind his sisters that it is better for him to be singing and dancing rather and punching them. They get over it quickly when I remind them of the bad old days when that is what he would do.
I looked at the list of famous people who were ADHD and I was suprised by some (JFK or Einstein) , not so much with others (Jim Carey or Terry Bradshaw). But they all relive their energy in a healthy positive way...Jim Carey joking and making people laugh and Einstein by making and inventing things. So the moral of my rambling is we need to teach our kids healthy positive ways to use their large amounts of energy.I think a lot depends on whether it's just ADD or if there are other things going on too. And no child definitely turns out bad, although the odds are greater for problems with certain disorders. I wouldnt' think simple ADD would mean the child turns out badly...it is a disorder of inattention. If there are co-morbid problems that cause extreme behaviors...different story.
Amen to everything that has already been said. csmommy - I worry about the same thing - who is going to tell my sweet sensitive boy that he can't play today?
But he is wonderful, kind, and caring. He cares about people and animals a great deal. One of the most common compliments I get from other parents is that he is so compassionate.
Like csmommy, we have made is clear that ADHD is not an excuse for disruptive behavior or poor performance, but a REASON for creativity and excellence. Look at Walt Disney, Tom Edison, Albert Einstein, Michael Jordan! There is a long list of people who become extremely successful, and are role models for others.
As a side note, my brother has ADHD and is getting his PHD in statistics this year. He works with the FDA on drug approval. My father was extremely ADHD, won two silver stars during his military career, and served as a Navy corpman with the marines in both WWII and Korea. I remember many times when old marines and their families would come to our home to visit and thank my dad for helping them when they were wounded.
I don't think my son, or yours, or any of the rest of them are destined for anything but greatness!
RAE, According to everything I have read, something like 40% of kids with ADHD outgrow it by adulthood. Most kids who have it but don't outgrow it are law abiding citizens with jobs as adults. It is actually a small percentage of kids with it who are problems as adults. Many, many ADHDers end up being very successful entrepeneurs!
If you raise your child with loving discipline, teach him social skills and a good strong work ethic, there is no reason to believe he will be anything but an adult you will be proud to call your child! I think the toughest part of parenting an ADHD child is getting them to understand that every one has problems in some area of life and just because they have ADHD doesn't mean that they are less than capable or that they are bad. Their behavior is bad and they have to learn to control their impulses and to think things through. That doesn't make them bad, it makes them human.
Razzlynne17, What an amazing thing your son has done! I don't believe I would have had the courage your son showed, or the quick thinking! Wow!
All of these stories are great examples of committment and hard work resulting in success! They are so encouraging for all of us!
My Son is 7. When I look at children that ADD or see them on the news, I am shocked by their violence and apparent inability to care. My Son has a soft heart, but just impulsive and lacks concentration. I worry about how my son's life may turn out. Is there any good endings for children with this condition? If you have a child that is surviving well could you please let me know. Some "Good News" stories would be great. Rae70
I honestly believe that there is no such thing as a "hopeless" child. If you just keep in mind, that meds and therapy are only a small fraction of making your son better, and that educating yourself and patience is the main key... then your son holds a bright and happy future:)
I have a cousin that was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in high school. I could tell you horror stories of things he did growing up... including bringing beer to his friends in the 5th grade! His parents (my aunt and uncle) are pretty strict but in a loving way, and were always on the ball when it came to discipline.
When he was finally diagnosed at the age of 15, his high school told him that he should find a job doing manual labor where he doesn't have to interact with other people.
Well! he is now running his own business at the age of 24! He does very complicated computer graphic work and advertising, he has to deal with clients one on one every day!
It is not my story! but I hope it brings you some comfort!!!
CindyMy son who is ten, and has been on meds. since he was 5, would give you the shirt off his back, and would do anything for anyone. Yes there is days when he is awful before the meds kick in, he has adhd, but in Jan. he did the most unbelievable thing, he was at his dads for the weekend, well one of the family's cat woke him up, and all he could see was smoke, and all he could smell was smoke, so he got out of bed, and tried to find a flashlight, but couldn't, he then decided to call 911, he crawled to the phone, but the wires were melted, so he crawled through three rooms to the upstairs, and climbed them and woke his dad, and step mom up, they then got his half sister, because of my sons actions he saved three people, himself four cats, and four dogs, the fire dept. said 20 minutes and they all would have lost their lives. So i think there is plenty of hope for our kids to grow up just fine.
My son is non-violent, extremely sensitive, & very smart. My fears for him are how many people will he alienate today with his mouth & how will that effect his self-esteem, not who will he hurt today. He was a wonderful moral compass that will be his guide for the rest of his life. So many adults in both my husbands & my families are ADD & none are failures, or ever been in trouble with the law beyond a speeding ticket. All are happily married, contributing members of society, & many give back to their communities after work by coaching & serving on local committies.
Here is a link to a page that lists famous people, past & present. with ADD/ADHD http://www.adhdrelief.com/famous.html . Whenever my son is down I remind where he started & where he is today. I remind him of his family & we visit this website. I have explained to him ADD/ADHD is a condition, not an excuse, that we work with everyday to get under control.
ADD/ADHD is normally within families, perhaps there are some family members that you can use as examples to your son. And this list has wonderful examples with people your child will have heard of. You are a wonderful parent, & as with any child, your love & guidence will help him become an amazzing adult!csmommy38183.1717476852It is interesting really this ADHD thing. My family has a generational history of violent/alcoholic men and women. My grandfather had some success representing Australia in Football in England - but apart from that all the way back to the first irish convict most of us were a bit too "irish" - lol. I really think that the gene that is ADHD must have been extremely benefical to the human gene pool for survival at one stage. Our family would make great warriors and medicine men (considering half of them talk to the spirits - lol). Thanks all for helping me find some humor and hope in all this. Rae