Brain Omelette | ADHD Information

LitS.

I went the neuropsyche testing route.

Here's what I went through, YMMV.

1st, induction exam. Basic questions designed to gauge if you're likely ADHD, similar in content to the exam on the Amen clinic's site.

2nd. Induction interview with LICW therapist/social worker. This lasted about 90 minutes, covered my history (talk to people who grew up with you for their impressions of you as a child), how I am now, I took my wife as a baseline - she has a better concept of how I am than me :)

3rd. 3 hours of neuropsychological testing with a neurologist. A series of tests designed to gauge how your mind works. Pretty much a profile with the tests weighted towards catching ADHD issues (working memory, attention to detail, recall, ability to organize).

4th. wrap up with LICW therapist. Goes through what the tests found, suggestions for follow-up and various treatment options. It's at this point you can discuss behavioral and medication therapies and get referrals to nutritionists, coaches etc.

Like I said, thats just my experiences.

anyone know what bus to catch to the other fishbowl oops i mean universe? these earth people are starting to bore me

omg!!!!!!!! now you've made it as clear as the fog in my brain glen!!!!

That's why I tried to warn you all! It's heavy stuff. I have books of physics material that I have to read 2 pages, take a deep breath and go watch TV for the night. Exhausting. Glad I chose chip packing instead LOL!!!

I think you have to be - wow I don't want to sound ego about it - "born" to understand. They come up as pictures - the formulas do.

I was just over at the Skeptic magazine web forum. They are debating einstein's general relativity theory vs. rosenberg's theory. Deep even for me - but I see the pics in my head. They are debating a static universe barrier vs. one that is always expanding. Heavy!!

See... that's what gets me all the time and always has. How can there be a barrier, static or dynamic? What's on the other side???? How can 'nothing' exist. Nothing is still always something. Still, how can something really be infinite but if it ends what's on the other side? Nothing?

Chip packing, eh? You could try filing... NOT!!! I suck when it comes to putting numbers in order or stapling pages with numbers together or doing anything where I have to write, copy, paste, remember, repeat, blah, blah numbers... What is hilarious is that I LOVE statistics. I'm good at statistics and can crunch numbers with the best of them. The problem comes in transmitting that number into another form be it written, typed, remembered, filed or whatever.

LOL - I've DONE filing! And Accounting, statistical analysis, organic chemist for a water plant, mechanical engineer (same place), firefighter, janitor, computer tech, teacher and corporation owner, motel clerk, traffic control, *deeep breath* parks and rec assistant, forester and probably a few I missed. Or too embarassed to explain!LOL!!

I did stats for Parks Canada - did over 10 years of back records of employee deductions. There were thousands of people and it took over a year just to enter it all.

I liked something about each job - but it typically got ADHDed out of me eventually.

Holy moly! Hmmm... I did the same only in schooling... I have two bachelors, 1.99 master's degrees and something reminiscent of a phd without the dissertation (geez... what ever made me think I could complete one of those???). I hate studying, despise really, and I skated through years and years of school with whatever I could dump out of my brain. I could give lectures on books I've never opened. Now, I'm working and with my newfound diagnosis, I realized that I could just let it all go. I don't even know what I was trying to do except keep my brain entertained while I raised my kids. I should have just gotten a damn job!

You could always try to capitalize on your status as closet physisist (can't even spell it).

physics is a hobby for me - I'm bush league in comparison. I just like the pondering.

I have thought of going back and becoming a geneticist - but frankly - I lost the momentum many moons ago. I like my life here - it's comfortable and the anxiety is all gone. I have friends here , my job goes great and I have my family back in mostly one piece. It's pretty snazzy!

[QUOTE=taritac]It's interesting to read your experiences with marijuana. I had been wondering what the effects of it would have on ADD. I wonder if it's as effective as ADD medications and if the side effects are better or worse. Perhaps we have another rationale for legalizing medical marijuana? [/QUOTE]

I know where you are coming from. My life has been one long parade of unfinished tasks.

As for the marijuana, when I smoked relatively small doses of it, I could totally focus on one thing for a long period of time. A sort of a calm would come over me and the 'chatter' of my thoughts would die down. It felt so very peaceful without all of the mental clamor. Large doses (enough to make me really high) would make my symptoms much, much worse. I would forget I was holding something in my hand over and over again. I could still focus on a task and get it done at higher doses but with much more wandering off and distractions.

My problem now is that I cant seem to get anything done except for dinner, so Im relieved that Ive finally made an appointment for an evaluation.

It's not bad at all for the initial diagnosis!

When you go in - you'll get questions after you tell your story in your words. The questions will basically be similar to the ones online at www.oneaddplace.com if you want to make a cheat sheet!LOL!! no don't do that!! that is wrong!! Bad Glen!!

Ok - the questions will be to rule in ADHD and out things like bipolar, thyroid, poisining, etc. There are several other things that ADHD looks very much like. So just answer HONESTLY - no honesty you cheat only you.

And relax. I know hard to do but it actually is easy now - you are doing the right thing - and it feels great when you do!

Good luck - I want to hear what you're willing to share when done!

Ok, I made an appointment with a neurologist/psychiatrist. Unfortunately it is in two weeks, but at least I am going to get help.

Has anyone else been to a neurologist/psychiatrist for a diagnosis? What should I expect? When the receptionist asked me why I wanted an appointment I told her I think I have ADHD and would like to be tested. I also told her I have high anxiety.

Now the waiting begins!

[QUOTE=LostintheStatic]

I have such a hard time following a conversation. Someone can be telling me a story, and half way through I will have no idea what they are talking about. Then the anxiety kicks in. I try to remember the subject and what they were saying before it is my turn to react or respond so I don't look like a total ass. Sometimes, I just can't hide the fact that I have drifted off and I have to say 'What were you saying?'. Another thing that makes social interaction hard for me is that I will know what the other person is going to say half way through their point and I have already figured out what I want to respond with. So everything they say past the point that I have decided on my response is completely lost on me. I am so anxious to say what I have to say that at that point I am often just waiting for my turn to speak. If I actually try to listen carefully to the rest of their point, I will forget what I was going to say, and be like 'Yeah good point. Uhhhhh.... I forgot what I was going to say.', which makes it seem like I don;t really care about what they are saying.

[/QUOTE]

I'm like that too. I always thought it was just whatever was being said, wasn't interesting(people are too predictable sometimes).

Also, I started at an early age, 'detaching myself'(sexually abused at four) so I think about anything, everything else, to take my mind off what was/is troubling me.

Hang in there--don't let the bas****s get you down.

BTW--I loved your choice of 'Brain Omelette' for your topic!

[QUOTE=omalley]Wow.... wow.... wow.......... Are you talking about me or you?! I quoted the above because that's the sweetest thing about me as a nut with adhd... I love to learn, I'm insatiably curious and I want to know how things work and why and what other possibilities exist and how many possibilities exist that we can't imagine... BUT, everything else you said is sooooooo true. It's shocking to hear someone else describe me![/QUOTE]

Cool! I am a documentary junky. I love learning as much as possible about as much as possible. If I were able to focus, I would be a book junky too, but hopefully I'll be able to focus more after I get meds. This world we live in is sooooooo much more complex than 99% of people can even fathom. I love being blown away by new scientific discoveries or historical findings.

I've been watching Carl Sagan's Cosmos series from the early 80's and I think it is a very cool series, but the reason I mentioned it is because he was averse to the idea that life could have formed elsewhere based on something other than carbon. I mean, I realize that carbon may a very likely way that life would form all over the universe, BUT we have no idea what other planets and star systems are like. For all we know there could be silicon-based life or sulfur-based life. There could be life that we would not even be able to recognize as life for reasons of form or function. Ah, but I get off track!

As for feeling bizarre... Like I said earlier I just don't fit in with the average crowd of people. I always feel like I have to be fake to fit into a group of people, so I just don't do it. Many people are so shallow that it evokes a dull grinding pain like feeling just to be around them. Oh yeah, I know what that feeling is! The feeling of holding back and being something I'm not so I don't offend someone or appear utterly and completely disinterested in whatever it is that they happen to be talking about.

I used to live in a little condo building by the bay and I would go fishing all the time. Well, there happened to be some older people living there and I could not make it to the water without being stopped for a conversation. That drove me nuts. I guess I am pretty good at appearing to care, because they kept stopping me, but I really just wanted to say 'no thanks' as if the person was a telemarketer or a solicitor and just walk away. I often feel like that when someone tries to strike up a conversation with me in a checkout line or some other public setting. It's not that I don't want to have interesting conversations, just that 99% of people are uninteresting!

It is very cool that you have started a book. I have thought of doing so in the past but I could never bring myself to focus on something so ginormous as a book. I have written articles and such. Not for any publication but to express my own views. I am so abrasive to the average person and their traditional beliefs that I am positive that I turn off a very high percentage of people who have read what I have written.

Yes, I am very lucky that my wife accepts me for who I am and doesn't expect the stereotypical male role out of me. Cause that hasn't happened and it won't happen after the meds either. I guess I could make a group of pseudo-meaningful male friends and spend more time with them at a football stadium, racetrack, or bar than I do at my own home, but that is all so boring to me. I do wish I had the motivation to get out and do things more than I do, but even those activities are not social in nature, they are me being anti-social in nature. I made a funny. And with that, I will take a bow.

[QUOTE=LostintheStatic]I've been watching Carl Sagan's Cosmos series from the early 80's and I think it is a very cool series, but the reason I mentioned it is because he was averse to the idea that life could have formed elsewhere based on something other than carbon. I mean, I realize that carbon may a very likely way that life would form all over the universe, BUT we have no idea what other planets and star systems are like. For all we know there could be silicon-based life or sulfur-based life. There could be life that we would not even be able to recognize as life for reasons of form or function. Ah, but I get off track![/QUOTE]

What are your thoughts on evolution vs the whole intelligent design thing? I read a very, very interesting blurb about the idea that sort of falls in between these two. (I'm such an idiotic moderation-in-all-things believer... I'm a smoother... but like you said, I hate dullards and most people fit in this category.) An author I read said that life couldn't have just appeared out of chaos but that according to the laws of probability that successive violations of nature (such as the evolution of intelligent life) could never have occurred without some outside influence. He basically says that according to the laws of probability, anything random will always descend into chaos if not guided by an outside influence. This means that there is no way to create order without an outside force. This makes plenty of sense to me but I'm always curious to know what others think of it. I'm fascinated by so many things but especially the universe and the origin of life and on and on... when i was a kid, i was always spinning my brain on the whole "What's on the other side of the universe?" question. I know I was told it was infinite but what's on the other side of that??? It's mind boggling! And what's up with the soul? Is it here? There? Here but there? Do we communicate in dreams? I've dreamed several very, very, very intense and meaningful dreams where I was interacting with my grandmother who passed away a couple years ago. Was I actually communicating with her? About two weeks after she died, I had a dream where I was cleaning up her home and my two young boys were playing around the house. I found her sitting in the den in her chair but I knew she shouldn't be there an it was creeping me out. Finally, I had to leave and the kids were out playing on the porch. I grabbed her hand and ran to the door dragging her along (her trying to keep up with me). We got out to the driveway and I pointed to the brilliantly blue sky and said, "You see how beautiful it is out here?" Then I pointed to the kids and said, "Do you see how beautiful your grandchildren are?" Then I looked at her and said, "The next life is even more wonderful." Then I woke up and it made me cry. It was like she had been there with me and I was telling her to let go. I don't pretend to have all the answers but I know that there has to be so much that we can't even begin to understand. It's like quantum theory. And who knows what kind of life can exist and what it sprung from?? How could we know? Can you see the smoke from my smouldering brain?

And where is this bay where you fished?

Well I tend to believe that everything is natural as opposed to supernatural. I was pretty much cleansed of religious and spirtual overtones by my experience growing up in a Catholic family and attending Catholic school. It boggles my mind to think of something coming from nothing, but it is even harder for me to wrap my mind around a being that came from nothing. I used to lay in bed and think about somethig coming from nothing until I almost felt like I was falling backward into a black void of nothingness, but then I decided that it was OK if I didn't have an answer to everything. I still like to think about it, I just don't get caught up in it as much anymore. I sure hope we have some more answers in my lifetime, but we are only here for such a short time and those worms they are a hungry bunch!

BTW, I now have twice as many rubbermaid storage devices stacked up across the room from me. I bought more in preparation for my diagnosis and subsequent medicated state of super effectiveness.

you think 13 is boggling? String theory has it at I think 57 independent directions (not that you can point to more than 3 - the rest are not "directions" in the strict sense). I won't hurt your brain explaining it - it's just in my reach right now and prone to drift.

I don't get on people for what they believe - unless they step on MY toes to do it. I won't stand for someone telling me I'm going to hell - I'll play with them big time!!

If a God makes this life that can truly suck better - then go for it! Just don't stop your kid from getting needed blood, my female friends/family from getting an abortion if they truly need it or me getting my stem cells so I can grow that second head and set of arms (how else am I ever going to keep up - got trolls AND you guys to type and pay attention to!!).

If I get the time - you bet I'll philosophize with ya. Used to with my big cuz David - but he's long since gone to new places so I don't get the workout I used to. I get lots here - but less god than just good old stomping around!

You want more chewing gum for the brain - the latest "science" mag said they think that what's beyond the seen universe - at the 15 billion light year mark - is an alternate universe just like ours!! Beyond that - another!! Woah - who needs narcotics man!!! The colors!!

aha! that explains it. i am in the wrong universe (i should be over there then everything would make sense.....)

Are we in a universe? Where are we? Maybe it's a fishbowl and someone's laughing their ass off watch us.

i don't know whether i would laugh or cry??? perhaps they are laughing in the alternate fishbowl ---?? well, since they found out the speed of light is really constant - the fishbowl innards at our area won't be seen by the observer for over 10,000,000 years - so you can rest safe for the time being.

Hello LostintheStatic,

Welcome to the board... I would make some comments about your rant, but ummm I've forgotten most of it, even tho I've read it twice!!

I do identify with an awful lot of what you wrote however.. the trash.. yep.. I got my poor hubby doing that one for me.. its funny, he always gripes at me for not switching out the bags!! Its only 3-4 steps to the laundry room to get a stupid bag.. but do I go get it? nnnnnooooooooooooo.

Dishwasher.. I throw em all in and put the load on "pots and pans" and hope all the dried on food comes off... umm have you ever rewashed the same dish 10 times just because it hasnt gotten clean yet?

The rest of it.. hmmm.. oh yeah, the books.. that one I don't have in common with you. However, I will not read any books during the school year, because I will hyperfocus on the reading to the detrement of everything else! Once I start I will keep going until it is finished.. that includes missing out on a bit of sleep

word up Lostinthestatic! snowveil00438654.8695949074

LOL - that's been my thinking too!!

If it's real and part of the universe - it's natural!! Now - some things people do may not seem "natural" - but under the rule of thumb - it's still natural (although icky).

To be supernatural is to be above or outside the world. That can't be logically unless there's a rip in the space-time continuum and it's peeking in to our world but only being observed. Nope - can't do it!!

I tend to believe that if there's amazing physics we can't put in our rules - it's out there in space in the dark matter or somewhere it can't influence us. Our rules are good where we are - can't say when you go out there. However, physicists have put to rest the thought of rips or bends in space-time. Science magazine talked recently about tests of observing light from 2 distinct spots far out in the universe. They thought that because there were black holes and dark matter between the light and us they'd see at least some distortion or fuzziness. None. they said that space-time is the same everywhere - and that the calculations on space-time were inaccurate by - get this- a billion percent. Wow.

i was going to post this in another thread but I don't want to derail. It is so much easier for me to focus on writing my own very long posts than it is to read other peoples' very long posts. I sort of skim through for the juicy bits or read a little at a time. But when it comes to my posts, I like to read them in full several times to make sure they are just right. WTF, mate?

Sounds good! My biggest fear is that I will spend a lot of time explaining myself and not be diagnosed correctly.

This has happened to me in the past, but I have never been to a neurologist/psychiatrist. I had always been referred to a regular psychiatrist by a psychologist, and my diagnoses were always based on conversations with the psychiatrist. I do feel better knowing that I am going straight to the Dr. this time and that he is also a neurologist, not just a psychiatrist. In the past, my inattentive tendencies were always interpretted as depression. I am not a generally depressed person. Usually when I become depressed it is because I have started thinking about my deficiencies such as disorganization, forgetfulness, inability to accomplish goals, etc. When I wake up in the morning, I'm generally pretty happy and well adjusted, and I can't stand laying around in bed and sulking.

Thanks again for the responses!

Oh my gosh, LostintheStatic, your life sounds exactly like mine. I can't get ANYTHING done these days, even stuff I LIKE to do. I am so jealous of people who have hobbies, have traveled, go camping, etc, because I can't seem to get my brain or finances together enough to accomplish any of that. I've lived in this house for 4 years, needing to refinish the floors, buy furniture, and complete other maintenance, but it's all I can do to keep it presentable-- and I'm failing at that!

It's interesting to read your experiences with marijuana. I had been wondering what the effects of it would have on ADD. I wonder if it's as effective as ADD medications and if the side effects are better or worse. Perhaps we have another rationale for legalizing medical marijuana?

Wow, thank you for the warm welcome and all of the great responses!

Unfortunately, I am not currently being treated. I have tried to self-medicate myself off and on in the past by smoking pot. I can't tell you how much I loved the feeling of actually being able to focus. I could smoke a little of that stuff and focus on the most boring task for 3 hours or more. I quit smoking it about a year ago.

Recently, the fact that I can't get anything at all done around here started weighing heavily upon my mind and I started thinking 'I could get this stuff done if I could smoke a little', and it's true I could. But I had a sort of an epiphany for some reason, and this time, after I thought 'I could get this stuff done if I could smoke a little' for some reason I thought, 'or if I went to the doctor and they gave me medicine'. That's when it really hit me that there was a cause and effect that I've been struggling with for a long time. I cannot focus and concentrate in order to get things done but there has been something that has alleviated this in the past. It was pot. So at that moment I realized that there is something physically wrong in my brain that a doctor could treat. In the past it has always been some sort of mental boogy monster, not something that could be treated, I thought of it as a defect of character.

I have been to psychologists and psychiatrists since I was a small child because I have had these problems my entire life. But as a child and teenager I was treated and counseled for depression, and the treatment never gave me any real results. I've been on Prozac and later Welbutrin+Depakote. I was molested as a toddler, so that was always the focus of my treatment. The terms ADD or ADHD were never brought up, but reading through the literature on the subject and the personal accounts of people with ADHD, I cannot believe that they did not see all of these symptoms. Or maybe I just didn't verbalize them?

So it was a couple weeks ago that I had the 'epihpany' and I was all ready to make an appointment. Then I start having doubts creep into my head. 'What if the doctor I pick out of the list of providers doesn't correctly diagnose me?', 'What if I get in there and don't adequately explain all of my symptoms?', 'What if I spend weeks explaining myself to this person and end up not getting any help?'

So anyway, I am pretty anxious about making the appointment, but I am going to do it tomorrow. I just can't keep putting it off. My mind is like a thick fog in a blender. I swear I hate it how I can be so thoroughly focused on something one afternoon and then a couple days later I feel like I am a million miles away from ever having done it. More like another lifetime really. It's weird, there is so much stuff in my own house that I haven't looked at or touched in months or even years. Fishing is one of the most enjoyable things in life for me. I LOVE getting out there in the salt spray and waiting for something big to rip out my line. When I am fishing, I feel alive. I mean I really feel like a real person and not just some zombie wandering around bumping into walls. But I don't go fishing. I have a closet full of fishing tackle and poles and some of the best times of my life have been spent in the outdoors fishing, but it seems like a million miles away. Like memories from a pleasant dream. This fog of mine has made me so dysfunctional. I feel like some sort of hermit.

I also have high anxiety which doesn't help things. As I mentioned earlier it has cost me friends. Most people just pick up the telephone if a friend calls. Not me, I have anxiety about it. Most people don't understand that.

If I could just make up my mind and wash a load of dishes, or weed eat our property, or perform basically any task on a regular basis without getting distracted by 5 random wastes of time before I even get started, or wandering off like a stray dog right in the middle what I am doing, I'd be pretty darn satisfied! Oh, and this anxiety can go too while I'm at it!

Well, thanks again for the warm welcome and support. Hopefully, I'll pick a good psychiatrist from the list!

LostintheStatic38651.9435416667[QUOTE=GlenW]

You're not too far out for me - though I like to read abstracts on multi-dimensional quantum physics (there are at least 13 they hypothesize).

13? really.. this is totally out of my expertise, but I am intrigued

Time had no "beginning" per se. We see time as a linear "thing" - it's not a thing it's a concept. Time is merely our way of measuring that things move from one place to another. If nothing moved - there would be no time. Atoms move, photons move, we move - therefore there is time. Time progressed by our way of looking at it from an event that gave birth to our universe from the remnants of probably infinte beginnings and endings. There are some that theorize that every black hole in the universe is feeding material to new universes on the other side (the "white hole" idea). There is good evidence that there was a big "bang" - the calculations that our universe is 14 billion light years from outer rim to inner core makes that pretty sure.

Yes, I'm thinking that the big bang has a high probability that it did indeed occur. I just have a different point of view of how it occured...

I like the definition you propose for time. It makes me think about that, if there is a heaven, ( ok I believe there is, but I am trying to speak from a sort of philosophical standpoint.) and there is no more time, would we be standing still?

Then, hmmm, there would have to be a new definition of time.. of course maybe in the afterlife, if it exists, eternity is more of the lack of "conciousness" of time..

Interesting thing to ponder...

I tend to think that if by some strange event there is a "creator" - or intelligence behind the universe that if we were to chance meeting it - it would say "oh, are you still here? Wow - sorry it's 28 billion light years from end to end - like I have time to get back to you? How free do you think my time is? bye now!". Something tells me that it would barely remember planting the stuff for our solar system.

HEY!!! That would be like and ADHD creator wouldn't it!! NOW THINGS MAKE SENSE!!! LOL

I'm going to leave this one alone, since in my personal beliefs, I have a relationship with a creator, I believe he is near, cares, and even knows the numbers of my hair...

But I know that there are others that do not feel that way.. that's ok.. we believe what we believe, and do what we do in order to have meaning for ourselves in this life.

The debate of where everything came from has been around for eons. You can ask "the creator made the universe - who made the creator?" - or "if the creator is infinite - then why not skip the creator and the universe is without time?". Philosophers have blown many a lugnut thinking about it.

YEP!!! And that's what makes it so much fun to ponder!!

I don't need a creator to make my life complete. I don't want an afterlife - I'm happy with the knowledge that I get around 120 years, have a laugh then blink out of existence so some daisy can get my material and carry on. That's not such a bad fate.

You think your gonna get 120 years?? whew! Hope I get that long! My family tends to kick the bucket sometime before 90.

Thanks for your insights Glen..

Hey, if you, or anyone else for that matter would like to ponder this stuff more, PM me... I started thinking about how some people could get hurt feelings or feel like this is too personal rather than philosophical. I figure its ok to agree to disagree.. and I LOVE to hear both sides of the story when pondering an idea.

Sherry

wow, what a cool conversation!! I want to add something in the spirit of discussion and would love your thoughts.. I will NOT take offense to any disagreement.. I love a good discussion

I personally agree with the idea of a supernatural force or intelligence creating the universe.

I am reminded of the Law of conservartion of Energy: that it can be transferred from one place to another, or transformed from one form to another, but it can be neither created nor destroyed.

Ok, so then how did the energy start? Was their a beginning creation as I believe? And then the law came into effect from that point on?

Was their a big bang? If so, where did the energy come from to begin with? if it can only be transferred from one place to another, then the energy had to come from somewhere. Could it be possible that it came from a Supreme being?

Glen, I am in agreement with you when you said that there are amazing physics out there that we cannot put into our rules...

I also think that I am leaning toward the idea that life began in a way that is somewhere in between what the evolutionits theorize and what the creationists theorize.. And yes, I call BOTH theories rather than fact.. how can we scientifically call evolution or creationism for that matter FACT, where no one was there to witness it?

THey have to both be theories if it is to be approached scientifically, based on evidence, and on educated theorems...

Hope my thoughts weren't too far out there

Sherry

You're not too far out for me - though I like to read abstracts on multi-dimensional quantum physics (there are at least 13 they hypothesize).

Wow. I like how everyone thinks out of the box cuz their brains are in another solar system. Some comments i make are so random and weird that people will either fall on the floor laughing or look at me with that raised eyebrow and puzzled look i recognize very very well. somethings that i have read on here sound just as wild as the things in my head and i love it! im eating it up like a bunch of pigs in a grocery store

I agree with kibbles002 about superior beings. but i agre with the boys too. I think someting is up there, but the constant questions are always penetrating my mind....and it always will i think. Where did it all come from? Something came out of nothing? If there is a heaven, what do we do up there all day and for eternity? If god loves us, why does he let us suffer and be not a stranger to war and disease? if god (and ghosts) are real, then how come i havent seem them? the people that do are only on tv or unsolved mysteries. And how the heck do people know how long ago the earth "formed"?(might be in the same category as the tooth fairy) i mean, carbon dating is the method used, but...really? those numbers are so high..how are they for sure? someone told me once that earth started as dust and space crap floating around then just grew upon it until it became where we are now. so why did it stop? where did the water come from? and i think jesus missed his bus from heaven, werent we supposed to experience an apocolypse by now? see, i can NEVER ever pick one side of the battlefeild because i see both sides of everything. except of course, when it comes to me and my relationship problems because i see that it's always their fault. i cant put myself in their shoes. i think they're crazy for not understanding why im so upset. i would make a sh*tty lawyer. does anyone have any good advice on relationship stuff? when i look back at my past relationships , when i totally knew it was their fault, resulting in my very defensive and immature actions, i now wonder, was it really all their fault? was it?? i keep thinking back and try to analyze, but i dont remember half the sh*t i went through with my ex's.

how did my post go from god and creation to retarded relationship issues?

regular joe's would say someting negative about this random behavior of mine, but im sure anyone reading this requires my incoherent maze writing style in order to even look at it.

[QUOTE=LostintheStatic]

I absolutely could not focus on my homework, but I would happily listen to an enthralling lecture for as long as the teacher cared to speak. When I was younger, I thought I didn't like learning. What I now know is that I absolutely LOVE to learn about the world around us. It is absolutely fascinating to learn new and interesting things about this fleeting existence that we share on this Earth. I can sit for hours on end and learn about history, science, mathematics, or whatever as long as it is presented in an interesting fashion. If it is in some textbook that is disjointed and lacks enthusiasm or the proper perspective on the subject matter, forget about it, it ain't gonna happen.

[/QUOTE]

Wow.... wow.... wow.......... Are you talking about me or you?! I quoted the above because that's the sweetest thing about me as a nut with adhd... I love to learn, I'm insatiably curious and I want to know how things work and why and what other possibilities exist and how many possibilities exist that we can't imagine... BUT, everything else you said is sooooooo true. It's shocking to hear someone else describe me!

It's so heartening to hear that I'm not alone, not so bizarre and not without reason. You make it sound almost adorable but when I consider myself that way, it invariably comes out rather loathing. It's hard to be so damn intelligent but then have everyone think I'm an idiotic flake.

I have a book I've been writing (one of many) and I have a great idea that someone helped me develop. But when he became disinterested, as usual, I couldn't keep it going. I want to complete it so badly. I need someone with a creative bent to complement me so I can get further. My hubby is great for proofreading but he can't help me with the story part. But how can someone just like me (who has the right mind) help me get something done that neither of us could make happen? It's a big conundrum. It's frustrating. (See... I'm foaming at the mouth in so many directions it makes no sense.)

Back to the point... you're like the male version of me. Reading your post made me feel like I had a fraternal twin (only I'm a little older). Thank you for making me feel less alone and less strange and less bizarre. Thankfully, you've found the woman who can complement you and take you for what you are. I've found the same in my hubby (except for one thing but I'm pushing him to change on that one). Thankfully, he's not like me. :)

Thank you for your post. I have no advice... only understanding.

The closest friends we have are the ones more like us. Jetsons life here we come. In some way I wouldn't mind things like this.

Great post so well said. You are not alone with the problems you
stated so well. We will be your friends.

Lostinthestatic - welcome!

You're amongst friends here! We've all been where you are - some still are there as well. Others of us have found ways to make it more enjoyable. We still mess up - hell we're human still! If you bleed us - do we not think you a prick?

We learn to laugh at ourselves - and each other. I like to make everyone laugh - just ask 'em! Better to laugh in the group than to cry in your beer. Though if I recall tears would make beer taste better ugh.

Glad you are here. Are you just discovering your ADHD - or are you on therapy - meds ?? We all like to keep track of each other - we're a nosy lot (at least me and DavidO are LOL)

Most important gem I can pass on - It gets BETTER! You have a good 10 years plus on me for self-discovery - and it took me a year to go from "doomed - I'm truly doomed this sucks" - to - "Wow - there's a big yellow ball up there - my job doesn't suck HALF as bad as I thought! Wow - people like me - they really LIKE me!"

Oh - btw - everyone - I plan to spend some quality time here november 11th - to remember the 1 year anniversary of the subjugation and near elimination of my ADHD - kind of like Osama but I was more successful in shutting my a**hole troublemaker up!!LOL! Of course - the fair and "balanced" dark side is here to give me those ugly voices to fight!!LOL!!

Well glad you're here !!! Be sure and give us the skinny on your interesting life!

Little off topic - more for my "what cartoons you like" - but the jetson's thing got me. Anyone catch the cartoon networks "harvey birdman" where the jetson's come back in time and sue us for ruining the earth? So funny!!! I used to love the jetsons! Ok - back to our regularly scheduled ADHD help.... LOL

Hello,

I'm a 26 years old and I have been this way for as long as I can remember. I have always felt 'different'. I never knew how to explain it. I always thought of myself as being defficient, and to be honest, in many ways I am. I have never been able to focus on a task that wasn't extremely interesting or exciting unless it is something that I can 'get into the zone' and not stop until I am done. If it involves many complex steps that are disjointed and don't flow together easily, forget about it, it's not getting done. Even the simple things get me, like putting a trash bag in the garbage can after I remove a full bag. Sure, I know that if I just slap a new bag in there it will make things MUCH easier than if I put it off for later. But of course, I don't remember to put the bag in before I start doing something that requires me to throw something away so of course, in the middle of making dinner or whatever it is that I am doing, the trash gets put on the counter, and long story short, 2 days later I have a pile of packaging and boxes on the counter with an empty bagless garbage can. I KNOW that it would make things much easier if I just put the bag in the trash can in the first place, but for some reason.... it... just... doesn't... get... done.....

So let's say I actually do put the trash bag in the can, it doesn't matter, because when that trash can becomes full, I will avoid dealing with it because I do not want to stop what I am doing to tie it up and replace the bag. So when I finally get around to doing it, I have jammed the trash in there so much that I need half of another trash bag just to get the full bag out to replace it.

Don't even get me started on dishes. I hate dishes. Why the infernal machine under the counter is called a 'dish washer' when you have to wash the dishes before you put them in there, I may never know. But don't get me wrong either, I love the fact that it sanitizes them and everything. The ironic part about me hating dishes is that when I was younger I had a job that required me to do dishes every day that I worked. And I liked it! Dishes were one of the tasks at that job that was really easy for me. But they had a big industrial sink with 3 deep basins in it and I could just plow through those dishes as fast as I could and it didn't matter how much water I splashed on the floor. I burned through those dishes. But at home we have small residential sinks, water sprays everywhere when I try to get through the dishes quickly so the process doesn't flow smoothly and I lose my concentration which makes it a very difficult task indeed!

I have a room full of stuff that I have bought over the past 5 years or so, well-meaning attempts to accomplish things that would make my life easier and more enjoyable. I have a full sprinkler system sitting in bags and boxes that would actually keep the plants and shrubs alive and thriving. I really hate it that my lawn is composed of enormous weeds and my shrubs, which I planted 4 years ago, are still under 3 feet tall because I cannot force myself to weed their beds, fertilize, and water them so that they could grow into the beautiful specimens that I absolutely love seeing on other peoples' properties.

I have all of the parts that go to the fence we bought a few years ago. Don't get me wrong, I really would like to have a fence, I just can't bring myself to start something that I KNOW I will not be able to complete in one fell swoop. To my credit, a short time after we bought the fence, I did mark out the perimeter, clear the brush/trees, drive half of the posts, put up 1/4 of the fence mesh, and complete a 50x50' fence around my garden all in a week or so. But I lost my focus to complete the project and it never got done. The garden? Yep, it's dead. Weeds as tall as I am. Many are even taller!

I bought a weed whacker to take care of those weeds. I have used it 3 times. I was so happy with the results every time I have used the weed whacker. The area around our house and behind the garden seemed so neat and organized after I cut all of those unruly miscreants to the quick. It really would make me feel better if I would just keep them cut regularly. Ugh, "regularly", I hate that word. That means like actually keeping up with tasks on a periodic basis.

Everything is always like that. I will put something off for a long time until my anxiety over not having performed the task is worse than the oblivion of indecision into which I fall while contemplating actually attempting to complete it. When I actually have a good day where I am productive and I can get something done, it feels so damn good! It's like a breath of fresh air after being caught in a churning whirlpool of self doubt and indecision. I think to myself. 'Alright! That wasn't hard at all! All I have to do is keep doing these things on a regular basis and it'll be even easier than it was this time!' But of course, 2 weeks, a month, or however much later, I haven't kept up on the tasks and have in front of me yet another 'mole mountain'.

I've been this way since I can remember. My room was always cluttered. Toys all over the floor and I hated it! If I could have just focused and put all of the clutter away, my room would have been much more enjoyable! I remember night after night, my parents sitting at the dining room table with me trying to force me to do my homework. Of course it didn't work, no matter how much yelling they did. I just could not bring myself to focus on completing such a boring task. Even with the immediate threat of punishment and the continuous barrage of tirades from my parents. It would have been much easier if I had just focused and plowed through the work. I could have been done in an hour and enjoyed the rest of the evening without any anger, bitterness, or boredom. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. But get me in front of a video game or documentaries and I could focus for hours on end. So deeply in fact that it was like being in my own little world for the time that I could focus on those things that were stimulating to me.

I have a bookshelf full of books that I want to read. Books about lots of subjects that I would really enjoy learning more about. I haven't read any of them. Sure, I have flipped through the pages and read pages here and there, but I often can't keep a train of thought from the bedroom to the kitchen, much less over a week or more while I read a book. Heck, oftentimes I don't even remember what I have just read! It is REAL FUN to read the same page 3 or more times before you remember it enough to move on to the next page. It's also a hoot when you start reading the next page and don't have a clue what the author is talking about because you have forgotten the contents of the previous two. A regular barrel of monkeys! So those books sit there in those shelves, not being read. But I do a lot of learning, only the learning that I do is from documentaries with interesting dialogue and stimulating visual elements.

On to the subject of friends.............

Hear those crickets? What friends? Like I said earlier, I have always felt that I am 'different' I just have trouble relating to most people, and it seems like anyone that I can relate to is just as distant to me as I must be to them. Luckily, I found my wife and we have been best friends for 8 years now. But I see other people who have a great relationship with their wife and they have some good friends. People they actually care about and who care about them. Aside from my wife, I do not have a single good friend to which I can talk to about just anything. I am just so awkward interacting with others and maintaining social relationships. I don't even know where to look when talking to people. I am always worried that I'm going to blurt out something stupid. I will be having a conversation with someone and I will be worried about the way I am standing or wondering if I am looking them in the eye enough. 'I hope he/she didn't think I meant X when I said Y!', meanwhile I have missed whatever he or she was saying.

I will have complete conversations with myself before I ever get a chance to actually say something to my wife. As an example (All Me):

'Do you want chicken tonight? Oh, but we have leftover jambalaya in the fridge. Uhhhhhh... But chicken does sound good. No, wait, I would have to wash the pan, it would have to cook for an hour, and it's already 8PM. Hmmmmm. But we did just have Jambalaya last night. It will still be good tomorrow, so we could just have chicken tonight and Jambalaya tomorrow. Oh yeah, it would be late though, since it's already 8PM. Yeah we should have Jambalaya.'

Generally this will happen with my wife sitting right next to me and here is what she will hear out of the above conversation that I have had with myself, 1/4 spoken and 3/4 in my head:

Me: 'Do you want chicken tonight?'
Her: 'Yeah that sounds good'
Me: 'Uhhhhh. Hmmmmmmm. Yeah we should have Jambalaya.'

Usually she will say 'What??' and I will explain the entire conversation I just had with myself and the reasons for my conclusion and she will say: 'I'm glad we can talk like this.'

I hate the phone. Anyone else hate the phone? Because I sure do. I loathe calling someone on the telephone, especially to place an order or *CRINGE* for customer service. We went without a DVR for nearly 1 year because I wouldn't call the customer service. Why didn't I call? Because I knew that they would make me stand there like an idiot for 15 minutes turning it off, unplugging it, plugging it back in, turning it on, etc and I cannot stand that! Look, I realize that they talk to complete idiots 99% of the time, but I know that unplugging it will do nothing because I have already tried it 15 million times. So please, take my word for it, I have tried that, I've searched the net and tried every single possible way to fix it before calling you so PLEASE do not make me go through the mind numbing troubleshooting steps that you make every other idiot go through. So I put it off for the longest time and when I finally called, sure enough, I had to sit through it and just swallow the frustration that was driving me nuts. Now the replacement DVR has been acting up for a couple months and I am putting off calling again.

If I am calling to place an order or something I have to go over what I am going to say before I call so I'm not totally lost when they answer the phone. I usually write down the name of the place im calling, their phone number, and whatever it is that I am going to order, then go over it a few times in my head so I know what I'm going to say. I really wish I could just pick up the phone and 'shoot from the hip' like almost everyone else can.

Well, I have probably rambled on enough at this point. There's a lot more I could type, but I might as well stop somewhere. Happy ADHDing everyone.

LostintheStatic38649.023275463Happy ADHDing to you too. Your post is a little 'big' I'll digest it little at a time.
Did you say you planted weeds with your bushes 4 years ago?

have a room full of stuff that I have bought over the past 5 years or so, well-meaning attempts to accomplish things that would make my life easier and more enjoyable. I have a full sprinkler system sitting in bags and boxes that would actually keep the plants and shrubs alive and thriving. I really hate it that my lawn is composed of enormous weeds and my shrubs, which I planted 4 years ago,

sorry -
I have a back room full of empty organization stuff and the largest library in Texas of unread/partially read books.

[QUOTE=Countrygirl]Happy ADHDing to you too. Your post is a little 'big' I'll digest it little at a time.
Did you say you planted weeds with your bushes 4 years ago?

have a room full of stuff that I have bought over the past 5 years or so, well-meaning attempts to accomplish things that would make my life easier and more enjoyable. I have a full sprinkler system sitting in bags and boxes that would actually keep the plants and shrubs alive and thriving. I really hate it that my lawn is composed of enormous weeds and my shrubs, which I planted 4 years ago,

sorry -
I have a back room full of empty organization stuff and the largest library in Texas of unread/partially read books.
[/QUOTE]

No, no, no.... I planted the bushes but the weeds just sort of tagged along. They are not welcome guests!

LOL about the empty organization stuff. I am looking at a stack of rubbermaid organization drawers across the room. All empty, of course!

LostintheStatic . . . I hear you and you spoke it well. I have a TON of
projects that I fear will never get done as well. Tile for the bathroom,
greenhouse framed but the sides not on, sitting there. I had to stop
taking up new hobbies as there was no end to what I enjoyed trying. But
not enough interest to follow up . . . .

I too have a large collection of books, history for the most part, but no
chance now that I can not read any longer. That is one of the real sad
parts of this 'gift.' I slept for four hours tonight. My head full of thought
and solving problems to which I am no longer responsible. But I fix them
in my head at night nonetheless.

Static is how some have explained this to me. Like our head/mind is a TV
and we do not have the remote. The channels just change in a tug of war
and there are a lot more Off Station, channels than not. We bounce from
the jewelry channel to the dating network and then Nature, CNN, a dash
of Fox and back to 50's reruns . . . all in two minutes. Think fast, act
slow. It takes me half a day to do what most can do in an hour. And that
is on a good day. Often I am just too frozen to to anything of use. Your
explanation of the way you feel is very good. I am impressed that you
could hold onto the thought long enough to compose it.

I am twice and a half your age or so. I just figured it out a while ago. If
you jump on it and work toward working 'round it. I think you can have a
life yet. Friends . . . who needs 'em. If they can not keep up with our light
speed thought, we will just dump them if they don't us . . . After you
stabilize you will be ok. Are you on meds? I use Lexapro and Starrata in a
mix. I feel some better. I think even I will be ok . . . so I hold much hope
for you. Hi Lost,

You will be comforted here, we are all pretty much the same way. I have no organisational skills, only finish books that are short and interesting, and never get anything done. I also do not have any friends, this used to bother me as a kid and I devoted my whole Junior year to focusing on nothing but other people -- I did make a few friends, but they were hardly the type that invited me to their houses or to go out, they were the type who would, during recess, and all throughout the day, unload their problems on me -- and never listened to mine. Bleh, since I met my husband, though, I don't really mind, and not just because he's the only friend I need, but because he brought with him a world entirely interesting and consuming; He is/was a poet/philosopher, interested in all kinds of neat things he so aptly explans to me while I listen happily :) After being married to my hubby for near 3 years, even though things are shaky since we had our son, I still don't find myself wanting to make friends with most people. They just don't interest me. So we all really need to quit worrying about making friends with those nOrmal folk, because they really don't interest us anyway! Let's be our own best friends :) Good luck and welcome, we're here for you :P
HeidiMarie38649.1831944444

Lostinthestatic,

That pretty well says the same thing for me, but I don,t think I could've wrote a post that long. Sometimes its nice to vent, because no one else would understand it, But trust me I do.My faucets leaked for three years and had tie wraps around them to reduce the leaking, until it drove my brother crazy when he visited. He went to the appliance repair store and had it fixed in an hour, and I'm supposed to be a mechanic!