am i mad not to medicate? | ADHD Information

You're not mad, chjones. I'm going through this myself (began ritalin 2 weeks ago)

I was worried that the me on ritalin would be a different person than normal me. And that maybe I wouldn't want to be the normal me anymore. I would change, into something different, something I didn't want to become.

It's not like that. The medication is like a tool- a good pair of glasses. They help you see better, give you a different perspective/way of seeing the world. They don't change who you are. And neither can the drugs. You are the ultimate control of yourself. The way you see another person is completely up to you, and I don't think it's linked to medication other than the meds helping you achieve and then you reversing your views on what other people are like because you have become successful. And not even that, because the medication is not a miracle cure for your problems. You're still going to be the same Joe, except now you might be able to finish that report on time, Unrushed, or take notes all class.

The thing is, Drugs that affect your mind are scary. It's not really like a pair of glasses, because results and changes can be subtle and/or take time, and it's hard to measure how they effect you when what you're using to analyse is the thing being effected.

I know how you feel (i think). I've been trying cognitive kinds of strategies for my ADD ever since I was diagnosed at 10, with no medication. The step into taking meds is a big one. There's a lot of unknowns and fears, but there are some huge benefits as well.
well thanks wren.

at the moment i feel unconvinced by anything --- i am just swaying in the breeze and change my point of view every five minutes.

loads of people have nothing but good stuff to say about Adderall and fairly good stuff to say about Ritalin.  my med of choice would be adderall but maybe you still can't get that in Canada oh hang on of course you can cos GlenW and Sabina are on it (fellow compatriots of yours).  you can't in the UK.

i am currently a low achieving loser - but for the moment that's ok with me... until i decide otherwise!  how hopelessly difficult it can all seem.  i have always been indecisive however an ADD trait i believe.

good luck with managing your ADD and keep us posted re. the ritalin!

I don't think you are mad either.  I think that our brains develop compensations for our disabilities.  I believe if you are helped by medication or other things (I use exercises) that the part of your brain that compensated will still be capable of doing all the creative things you used to do.  It will not go away just because you are fixing your connections or whatever in your brain that isn't working.

I believe if an autistic person were to suddenly be cured, he or she could still play the piano or whatever they do extremely well just like they always have been able to.  I don't think that they would lose that ability.

Just my opinion.

I have heard mixed reviews about the effects of drugs. One woman I know said she felt like Ritalin helped her focus, but seemed to repress her quick-wittedness, creativity, and energy. Other people have said that they don't have these changes, and the drugs are just as Wren said: one tool to help them manage their days.

chjones, Have you considered giving it a trial run-- 8 weeks, maybe? Perhaps if you are tired of being a loser, it would be worth it to give Adderall (or whatever your doctor suggests) a try to see if there are changes you don't like. Then you will at least be able to judge whether being a non-loser is worth it.

aha the voice of reason.

but no i haven't tried it and at this time i won't try it because my gut instinct tells me not to.

irrational - yes.  but then i am.

i am extremely, beyond extremely spiritual and i believe that it could interfere with that and i won't lose my spirituality for anything.  i am prepared to end up the biggest loser of all time but i will not give up the love of god - not for anything.  no.

so there we are.  my madness revealed for all to see! 

and honestly, that is the sole reason why i won't take it.  because for once, i will go with my intuition rather than my intellect.  someone has a signature here which is a quote from Einstein and i won't remember it right but it says something along the lines of "intellect - a great gift,  intuition - a sacred gift"  so i'll respect the sacred one ---

i worry about doing that as well ya know.  i mean how many psychotics have listened to their 'inner voice' telling them to go and kill the postman.  and they all believe it to be the 'voice of God'.  George Bush recently said that 'God told him to go into Iraq' ---

it's a dangerous world not using the intellect and using intuition to guide you.  what can one do?  it's just all so complicated....

Have you investigated that particular aspect? There are a few people here who have talked about their spirituality AND they are on drugs-- Davidornado and Countrygirl, I believe, have talked about their relationship with God. Have their connections/relationships been affected by meds?

What are you afraid of? Is it the possibility of losing the ADD mental freedom of being able to be "in our heads"? If that's it, I think I understand your enjoying the ability to disconnect from reality and think about whatever you want.

If you are happy with who and how you are, then why medicate?  But, the fact that you are on the boards - or came here initially - tells me you know you have problems and that those problems can get in your way. 

Don't think about losing yourself if you're on meds.  I don't think that can happen - and if it does, adjust as Kibbles says.

Ask yourself if your actions, or inactions are hurting you now, or working against you.  Is it worth it to you to stay that way or to tweak yourself into  being productive - and that's what the meds will help you do.  Maybe, they will even give you greater clarity and bring your faith to another level.

You don't have to do meds either tho.  But if you don't do the meds are you doing anything else to help yourself?  Do the exercises as AnniD suggests?  go to therapy?  Take other vitamins and minerals etc?

The fact that you label yourself a loser suggests that you need some type of help, regardless of the form.  so don't give up on that.  We are all quirky or insane, but the negative side of this impairment should be worked on.  don't ignore it.

chjones,

I know that I have offered my opinion about this issue before, so I wont repeat myself.. BUT, I wanted to add some things that I've learned personally about meds.. ( in particular the ritlain derivatives.).

I LOVE the fact that I"m not a dimwit on meds, I feel intelegent and in control of my emotions and mind..  IT's GREAT!!

HOWEVER, I do know that I had to tweek my dose so that I could, yes , believe it or not, retain my goofy squirrley personality

On 30mgs I had no daydreaming, no excess hyperactivity, I felt calm, and in control... BUT, my personality was calm and maybe just a bit too serious...

SOOOO, I backed off on dosage, I have enough medication in my system to help me not be a total screwup ( that's how I feel about myself off meds.. sorry cant help it!) but not enough to curtail all the daydreaming, and hyperactivity.

For me, my med. is a tool to help me stay in control, although not totally, because I still have to work to keep control of my symptoms naturally...

On med. the job is just a heck of a lot easier

You have to do what is right for you, since you keep posting about this, I know you are riding the fence...

you really need to make a decision one way or another so that you can give yourself some peace.. Whether you decide to medicate or not..

once you've made the decision one way or the other, I believe you will feel a giant wieght off of your shoulders..most likely a reduction of ADD symptoms also, since stress and indecision can exacerbate our symptoms.

Sherry

am i mad to enjoy my ADD?  is that totally insane?

i just started thinking about it in terms of autism...  if you were to ask someone with mild autism if they wanted to be 'cured' full on, become normal.  do you think they would want to?

or would they want to stay autistic?  there are great gifts associated with being autistic (mathmatical and spiritual and musical et al)... perhaps they wouldn't want to be cured either.

perhaps they are so used to being the way they are they wouldn't want to change.  am i the same?  am i so used to being 'mentally impaired' that i don't want to change.  because it is not that i don't want to change exactly - it's that i don't want to lose the part of me that is different but i want to be more efficient too...

and i don't trust ADderall not to change a part of me i don't want changed.  parritthead put it well when she said "do you want to stay some low-achieving loser?"  and the answer is no, but at the same time i never want to become someone who looks at others as "low-achieving losers" if you get that?  and it seems inextricably linked.

how weird - i can't quite work it out.

but essentially i would choose the loser over the superior-minded acheiver, i guess... (going over to the Dark Side?????  no, no, use the Force Luke!)

perhaps i am just mad.  who knows.

I have learned to live with my adhd for the last 38 years.  In college is when i really got a handle on it and embraced it.  then joining the army seem to help me control it.  but it wasn't until my dd was dx a couple years ago did I even knew that was what my problem was.  when i did talk to the doc he said well if you think you need to be on meds we will do it and I said absolutely not.

I have lived this long with it i can live another 38 year.  It has made me who i am today and i like me.   

My dd has it worse then me and i don't want her to struggle in school like i did so she is medicated, but once she gets out of h.s. it will be her choice too.  

Our eldest son was medicated for a time which was the right thing for him with his school work but he lost those quirky lil qualities that made him who he is.

I'm at the point I see ADHD as a personality that in another time would be fine because we'd be the ones working in fields or hunting or inventing etc but now days that type of personality is just not accepted.

I personally wish I could turn off the switch in my head that has me mulling over things I can't control or words that have been continuously spoken over me in a negative way because I don't "conform" as my mum puts it, but other than that my personality is who I am and without the quirky ways I wouldn't be me.

I don't think you are crazy at all, we weren'r created to fit in one little mould............ What a boring world it would be.

If you can live with who you are I recon go for it.

"Low achieving loser" was how I saw myself. I KNEW I was intelligent, I KNEW I was capable of achieving things - I just couldn't do it. I beat myself up for 32 years because I thought I was just lazy and undisciplined. My self-esteem was non-existent. Getting diagnosed and medicated was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now I know I can fulfill my potential and I'm happier than I've ever been.

Medication does not change who you are. I'm still creative, witty, sarcastic, passionate and fiercely loyal. Now I can put those attributes to use to improve my life and my relationships with others. I never had the attitude "Oh isn't my flakiness cute? I have ADHD! If you love me, you'll put up with me being chronically late, procrastinating, backing out of plans at the last minute, always being one paycheck away from bankruptcy, blurting out inappropriate responses, etc etc."

If you like yourself the way you are - GREAT! I would never suggest you or anyone else take medication if you don't need it. I wish I didn't need it.

I just wonder if that's the real reason you don't want to give meds a chance.

The meds do not change who we are, they don't even "fix" us, they just make us "compatible" ...

Meds/No Meds to me is a question of how "compatible" we're willing/required to be ...

hmmm compatible. i am an ornery, ill-tempered round peg that doesn't
want to become square perhaps... therefore put up and shut up.

or bitch at the world until they make some round holes out there????

or go holeless and deal with it??? who wants to be stuck in a hole anyway
--- freedom! yeah!

long live the ADD revolution!