Judging..and the people that do it | ADHD Information
i'm "watching tv", (that requires 100% attn, which i never give hence the "") the entertainment channel...a show called 'fashion dos and donts'. these people are showing clips and photos of stars, singers, models etc, and critiquing their fashion, hairstyle, and makeup choices- mainly for the worse, with a comical attitude attached. they are insulting them based on their own perception of how a person should dress, fix their hair, or paint their nails. you should hear some of the things they are saying..(give the 80's back their hairstyle, wearing matching denim outfits with your significant other is a crime the requires a sentencing of 20 years, and this girl is TOO fat to wear that skirt) RUDE!!
What constitutes as a fashion do or dont? who makes these rules that govern their fashion world? if i think huge bulky sweaters and flip flops(regardless of season) are some of the best inventions so far, which is a fashion dont in this world today, does that make me a fashion idiot?
what is the foundation of judging? What are the ingredients that have been thrown in a blender to create this characteristic i have been a victim of more often than not? is there a part of the human brain that forces people to judge unconsciously? in no particular order: judging can lead to jealousy which can lead to competition and possibly fighting and war- all someting very abundant amongst this world today, but i myself cannot conform. everyone by nature judges to a certain degree, but some do it unconsciously. sometimes it is rude and sometimes down right evil..i guess i dont have that brain part that makes me judge so cruely.
this makes me believe more and more that everyone is just a conformation of robots and their leader is a goat living on bikini island eating bananas all day. 
I am often judged as a slob for my habit of being "messy". they call it messy? i like to say they're witty self efficiency tactics. sure i leave things out/ dont put a lot of things back, throw my jacket and purse on the bed/chair/table when i get home, have tons of crap sitting everywhere in my room and bathroom. but it all kind of makes my life easier. if i dont see it, im going to forget about it. on any given day, i could have meds, bills, dog treats, and folded laundry all next to each other on my desk but sh*t if it makes my life easier then why stamp me with the negative connotation? im not messy, they are too anal and need to get laid.
im willing to bet a million bucks that if i was neat and clean- whatever that is- i would still misplace and lose things, maybe even 10 times more than i do now.
[QUOTE=LosTinSeattLe]sometimes it is rude and sometimes down right evil..i guess i dont have that brain part that makes me judge so cruely.[/QUOTE]Rude and evil is a pretty rough judgement in itself, no?
Cruel? You be the judge.
But isn't judgement bad?
Is it OK when we think we are right?
Like "Pedophiles who prey on children should be hunted down like animals and shot."
I think I'm right in this judgement.
I don't disagree about the fashion police - they are pointless fools. Just that judgement is such a tricky thing.
hey lost, we need to start our lifestyle program "100 ways that you can be yourself and still be happy"..
not only do these programs promote a 'keeping up with the jones' mentality' they also promote eating disorders, greed, selfishness and inspire within ppl the 'right' to criticise difference..
ahh where is seinfeld when you need some sanity??
i would rather spend time with someone that knew all about the planets or solar system and wore the same outfit every day. than a clothes horse who was more interested in the latest gucci designs --- as fascinating as i am sure they are. having said that however, i do have a completely fascistic approach to clothes.
i hate the multitude of colours on the streets i find it annoying to my eye. i wish everyone just had to wear those long white nightgown things (or black) like in Saudi Arabia. so much more calming.
i hate Western clothing ---- i think saris are 6000 times more flattering to any female figure and the fabrics are beautiful even when simple.
i don't know much about traditional japanese or chinese costumes but i am willing to bet they are 10,000 times more elegant than the disgusting stuff that people shove on their bodies today making even beautiful women look like a mis-shapen skrunk of funny bulges. pokey out hips and squished stomachs...
i hate trousers on women if it means you can see their butt cheek lines go crease, crease, crease against the top of their thighs too (as i am really laying it out here)...
and as it takes no longer to put on a scruffy top as a flattering one --- i like it when people look elegant.
it's not that i judge the individual person --- i just hate the WHOLE look of everyone on the streets. some nasty coloured wind-cheater jacket with unflattering too short, too tight trousers that don't hide any bulges rather emphasise them.
so there you go.
and i guess in the end - as long as it keeps you warm, right?
i'll just have to wind my neck in - and DEAL. which isn't that hard after all. but if I were dictator of the world - oh yes, all white long nightgowns for the entire world population and multi-coloured headscarfs as an option to express yourself a little ----
hell cj, i'm going to nominate you for dictator of the world... i detest hipsters with a passion, and find polyesters and nylons abhorent...
its so hard to find decent modest clothing for a 10 yr old too.. its all geared towards that paris hilton look - cheap and trashy..
woo-hoo one vote. that makes it democratic and anyone who doesn't agree can have a chat with my head torturer here.....
talk about democracy - i have been fined for not voting in the last local council elections
..and apparently i live in a democratic state
We all judge, yes. I have no sense of fashion and just generally think that its materialistic and shallow. That's my judgement.
I have a problem with anyone or anything who tries to say there is a standard for 'normal' based on majority rules. Everyone else is nuts, weird, whatever. Don't like that. Want to know why kids go on rampages shooting people in their neighborhoods? Because they were different, ostracized, made to feel inferior or unfit to live, and is unacceptable. We ADHD'ers know this better than alot of people.
HeidiMarie38655.7245601852
wow there went my whole point of view thing again. didnt even see that i was judging the people that judge. **shame on me! 
its not only my world, other people live here too**)
i think (i think i think this...) what i was trying to say is that judging is human nature, but to make tv shows or put others down to the point where they lose their screws and end up being the ones that overflow the prisons... that is what i feel is wrong. to be judged and made fun of hurts more than physical pain sometimes...i think this is why i am a little sensitive in this area and judged without me realizing it.
i am learning more and more about myself everyday. i feel fortunate. its like i have this gift i never knew i had and im trying to learn how to work it...
This makes me think of an ongoing argument with my so called normal sister
We argue about purses of all things.... up until this year, I have never spent more than 8 - 10 dollars for a purse. I argue that it is something to hold your stuff -- nothing more, nothing less..
her argument is that it is an "accessory" . LOL, why do I need an accessory?? I need something to hold my stuff.. and around and around it goes...
I actually broke down and bought a really expensive purse..NOT because she is right, but because I liked all the pockets the thing had for all my stuff, AND, it had a warranty so that when I tear it up I can get a new one
Now the argument is, why don't you get a new color for spring/summer? I have a black one, it goes with everything.. not with everything, she says... I say but it holds my stuff.... Here we go again
Sherry
[QUOTE=HeidiMarie] Want to know why kids go on rampages shooting people in their neighborhoods? Because they were different, ostracized, made to feel inferior or unfit to live, and is unacceptable. We ADHD'ers know this better than alot of people.[/QUOTE]
Certainly I agree you are on the right track about rampages. However I wanted to add that insanity of some sort must play a role too - that they didn't feel a part of the in crowd doesn't even make a ghost of a reason or an excuse.
duh, you make fun of people long enough and one day,,, WHAM, they are not gonna take it any more... and someone winds up seriously injured and people walk around saying why??? I tell you why,,, stop playing FAVORITES in the classroom, teachers. and start CONTROLLING your classroom. that will end 80%. the other 80%, give them more homework to do if they have enough free time to be bashing others.
and instead of cutting out art and music and OTHER creative things, start loosing the days off and unimportant things, like black history month.. I mean a WHOLE MONTH,, of what, telling everyone how blacks were enslaved??? how about the chinese? we as america enslaved them as well, irish, japanese, laotian, etc etc. look it up, they were. If you want to heal, stop talking about it. I have a teacher that sits and reminds kids every day, that blacks were enslaved by the whites of the time. and that creates MORE TENSION than ANYTHING. so LETS GET THIS STUFF OUT OF THE CLASSROOM AND START TEACHING WRITTEN HISTORY.
I have nothing against blacks, just the people that think we OWE them something.
I have adhd, I don't think anyone OWES me anything.
so lets get our priorities straight.
bugzappers38655.8812847222 [QUOTE=kibbles002]
This makes me think of an ongoing argument with my so called normal sister
[/QUOTE]A judgement debate makes me think of politics.
How zealots from both sides of any spectrum can ignore any reason and judge people who disagree with them as black-hearted scoundrels from hell.
[QUOTE=bugzappers]duh, you make fun of people long enough and one day,,, WHAM, they are not gonna take it any more... [/QUOTE]
Absolutely. I just like to think most sane kids or adults for that matter consider kicking someones teeth in before a general shooting rampage.
KIDS ARE MEAN and they torture each other in school on a daily basis. you keep adding to the tension, and WHAM... we have a new breed of people with no tolerance for anything and they go postal.
Anyone with any level of clinical psychological training understands that human beings are like icebergs - nine-tenths of who we are is below the surface, with a huge percentage of that not accessible to others, and much of it not even accessible to ourselves.
Judging others is, except for gross antisocial behaviors, irrational. It cannot be done for any purpose other than self-aggrandizement or forcing someone to the will of another, or into submission to a group. At that point the question becomes sociological, and any competent sociologist will tell you that such judgment is relative at best.
These truths make the media and political input we receive all the more insulting. They treat us as if we are stupid, and worthy of one- and two-dimensional answers, and simplistic condemnations of whomever happens to be the sacrificial lamb of the week. And after decades of being treated this way, we actually become this stupid ...
I say they obviousley haven't had to live with someone like this and have no friends like it. How would they handle it then if it were the case.
I have spent a HUGE amount of time stodying and thinking about the topic of judging and have come to the following conclusions.
1. Judging someone else for judging is simply flipping the coin and therefore, keeps the dynamic going.
2. The most effective way not to feel bad about being judged is to recognize it for what it is (a control tactic) and let it slide off your back while keeping on keeping on.
3. Usually when we react to being judged its because we're judging ourselves for the same thing. Therefore, it's a great source of input for those things we don't like in ourselves and can be used as a motivation to start working on changing them.
4. The alternative (only one I've found) is to OWN our own perceptions and feelings. For example, rather than responding to a judgement--e.g., "that dress looks ugly on you" is the truth as in: "You're saying that just hurt my feelings" or translation--e.g. "You know, I don't much like the way it looks, either" (especially if you know and trust the other person and know that's what they REALLY mean).
Juding, I believe, comes from two things. The first is shorthand. It's a lot easier to say, "he's a jerk" than to explain what it is that he does that you don't happen to LIKE. The other thing is ego. We all have them. Egos like to feel right and superior to others. Parents routinely do it to children to control them--sometimes for selfish reasons and sometimes to protect the child, quickly.
Learning how NOT to react to a judgment isn't easy since we're so used to doing just that, but it is possible. Not being a judger--especially in response to feeling judged--I've found, is even harder!
[QUOTE=bugzappers]and instead of cutting out art and music and OTHER creative things, start loosing the days off and unimportant things, like black history month.. I mean a WHOLE MONTH,, of what, telling everyone how blacks were enslaved??? how about the chinese? we as america enslaved them as well, irish, japanese, laotian, etc etc. look it up, they were. If you want to heal, stop talking about it. I have a teacher that sits and reminds kids every day, that blacks were enslaved by the whites of the time. and that creates MORE TENSION than ANYTHING. so LETS GET THIS STUFF OUT OF THE CLASSROOM AND START TEACHING WRITTEN HISTORY.
[/QUOTE]
Let's not forget the Native American, my friend. We commited some big attrocities towards them.
As for opgm, the point is we convince them that they are insane because their brain is wired different and they act different, and it scares us and they believe its true. How come you never see the normals doinig the things these kids do? Because they know they're normal. It's always the outcasts of society, the weird, the inferior. check out this article on the value of psychotic experience:
http://deoxy.org/w_value.htm