WHAT ELSE CAN HAPPEN??!!!! | ADHD Information
Taritac, I've been there, believe me!! I am ready to quit my job everyday and in my haste to find something else to "fall back on" I have managed to my husband and I into 0,000 of debt (not including the house and our regular bills). So, I know it.
Can you try to get a stupid little part time job for more money? find anything that you think might be interesting - but don't, don't quit until you have something else because if you think you are depressed now - it can only get worse with that rash decision.
Take a deep breath, find something positive about the current job and say "I won't be a slave to this, I will do what I have to. I know I can and will find something better. I am just going to bide my until then"
I do that often and it seems to work.
good luck.
Hate my job-- on the verge of quitting with no means of support and no new job on the horizon.
Depressed as hell.
Bank account overdrawn.
Credit card maxed out.
And then, just to make my life suck that much harder, my car was towed yesterday.
It will cost me about 00 to get it out.
Why, when life is bad, does it only seem to get worse?
Can relate we both here need newer vehicles but can't afford one. Look for a new job cause it is easier to get one while you have on. Think of a passionate job you might like to do and go for it.[QUOTE=chjones]
i fricking hate it --- who can afford to pay their rent??? and then you are forced to start looking at bank accounts and then you see the mfking bank accounts are robbing you blind and the 200 bucks you thought you had has been stolen by them for 'fees' for overdraft charges.
what???? c'mon here ---- how can it cost you 30 quid in admin charges for one cheque don't give me that bullsh*t. more like 3 pence and then only if you're being generous. i mean be a little realistic here.
[/QUOTE]
Overdraft charges! Grrrrrrrrrrr............! The banks make it seem like overdrafts are SOOOOOOO bad and you have to be 'punished' for them. When in fact, the banks WANT you to have overdrafts because that's where they make the majority of their profit - fee income!
[QUOTE=taritac]Hate my job-- on the verge of quitting with no means of support and no new job on the horizon.
Depressed as hell.
Bank account overdrawn.
Credit card maxed out.
And then, just to make my life suck that much harder, my car was towed yesterday.
It will cost me about 00 to get it out.
Why, when life is bad, does it only seem to get worse?
[/QUOTE]
Thanks for the post...
I thought I had it bad. Nothing like browsing a bboard to make one realize the gifts in life that we have on our plates.
i have two sides: the dumb side and: the try-it-on-for side.
the dumb side is that side i have to be in when im in front of people.
the try-in-on-for-side is my invisible strawberry feild on venus. do i sound weird? do i soundstrange? my werds make cents 2 mi! just as much as paying bills on time make sense to them.
did i read someone say overdraft? i could buy a small country as a pet for my try-in-on-for side with the total amount in overdrafts i have accumulated. i really ought to do something about it...
my dumb side says: "yea i'm gonna do some-" but my try-it-on-for side cuts him off!: "OoooOoH whats that shiny thing right there on his shirt?? i wanna touch it!..."
here is a diagram of the function of a thought trying to become a memory
MEMORY ErASER Block
"i ought to do something abo--" =------[*The Forgetter vaccuum cleaner*]
and i just want to add --- that when i look at things in the sum total.i am incredibly blessed. i have loving family and friends. i have been surrounded by love and kindness my entire life (not that you would realise that from my anger issues).
that money stresses me out is neither here not there. on the larger scale of things i am so lucky.
how could i forget that.
just keep after it.
i know how that all is. it's as if the bad stuff draws more, which in turn draws more.
i have been thru many periods when it felt as if life was kicking me while i was already down.
ever heard the 'serenity prayer'?
'god grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference.'
i repeat it frequently. at times, it is my mantra. say it again, and again, and again.
for me, it helps me see strife in a more manageable way. it also gives me permission to not worry about, or take some events so personally. 'why me' often becomes ' i guess it's my turn.' 'why now?' becomes 'it's time do address this i guess.'
does not always work. but it often does. and when it does, it's a huge help.
make fun of the normal people!! it really helps! ( no it is not an EXCUSE for my behavior...or is it? )
roses eat bread
violets wear shoes
why am i, so smart and normal,
stuck in a world world full of koo koos?
no i will nOT pick up those clothes from the floor
and screw the dishes
just buy more!
(on your next impulse run)
i like the fact that i can bounce between normal and not normal and make sense of both sides. i should start my own translator service
I'm new here, and I know no one knows me...but i've been through a LOT so I can relate to you.I might not be the best "pep" talker in the world, but CRAP happens and life sucks dude. Only a very FEW % of people love their jobs, and the rest of us work to pay the bills and feed our families.... I guess thats why it's called "work" and not "play".
The only advice I can give you is to buck up, grit your teeth, and stick through it. Think about how you got in this situation and think of ways how you can never get in it again.
I don't know your situation so I really cant say much, but honestly.... it could be worse. I work 2 jobs and i'm back in school full time... I have student loans, my cards are charged nicely, car totalled, and i have a grip of medical bills (and as of yesterday... my bill for my ADHD diagnosis).... so I know how you feel...
I bet ur saying, "Why is crap raining on me?" "Why do i have to work so damn hard while others skate through life..."
But know that once you hit rock bottem, you can only move up. Adversity builds character...I'm not that religious... but that's what Job taught me.
[QUOTE=taritac]
Hate my job-- on the verge of quitting with no means of support and no new job on the horizon.
Depressed as hell.
Bank account overdrawn.
Credit card maxed out.
And then, just to make my life suck that much harder, my car was towed yesterday.
It will cost me about 00 to get it out.
Why, when life is bad, does it only seem to get worse?
[/QUOTE]
I think many people have been in your shoes. Before I give any advise, is your car worth the ,000 to get it out? Something to think about. You may be better served to tell them to sell it (Not sure if you can do that) and go buy a different one.
My suggestion is to pick one thing and work on it. For example: Plan to pay .00 more on your credit card than the minimum payment and make it a goal that you will never be late paying on that one card! After you do that for a while try another step to improve things.
BTW: I am sorry you are going through this. It helps, I know, just to say what your problem is...get it out. Now it is time to move toward something positive. Good lucK.
I just reread your post. If your car just got towed yesterday, how in the world could it cost ,000 to get out? Something ain't right with this picture. I don't see how it could be legal to charge that much or are there tons of tickets involved? None of my business but that was puzzeling me.i tell you why we are all feeling so sh*t ---- cos it's the first of the month. fricking rent day.i fricking hate it --- who can afford to pay their rent??? and then you are forced to start looking at bank accounts and then you see the mfking bank accounts are robbing you blind and the 200 bucks you thought you had has been stolen by them for 'fees' for overdraft charges.
what???? c'mon here ---- how can it cost you 30 quid in admin charges for one cheque don't give me that bullsh*t. more like 3 pence and then only if you're being generous. i mean be a little realistic here.
money is such a stresssssssssssss ---- i am going back home.
i can't complain. it's my life and i live it how i want but urrrgh! money, money, money. stupid, stupid, stupid.
ach ---- and i always used to be so good with it. as i am so NOT a spender. i have nothing. i own almost nothing. a few clothes, as much as can fit in a suitcase and an expensive computer and video camera and slr camera and squadrillions of books that i leave at other people's houses or lug around with me. that's it. the sum total of my belongings.....
and yet, recently, i have not been earning regularly so my finances have gone SO skewiff. just to eat, to have a roof over my head and a car here in LA seems like out of control expensive --- i guess i go out a lot and drinks are expensive and i don't want to able not to contribute my share. money huh? i see it all the time down with chrysalis --- all these guys, hard-working guys who just couldn't make the rent and 'bang' back down on skid row. life is harsh here. really, really harsh.
no protection. no compassion. all greed and competitiveness against each other. i think it is because you have a sith lord (by the name of donald rumsfeld) running affairs --- so what can one expect?
it will be dark.
i tell you - i am so drawn to the dark side sometimes.
just give it all up and give in to the lure of that power, control, admiration, superiority but above all the heroin rush that pure power injects into you... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA i would make a fantastic donald rumsfeld type.
people dying in iraq because of me???? ahahahaha i have the power of life over death. that makes me feel good - you spineless monsters, you pathetic sub-life forms, you worthless individuals.... ahahahahaha
but then you gotta remember that in the end the power controls you and not the other way round. you have to try to remember compassion, equality, justice for all. we are all one. loving kindness is the way.
i am so split. i have a dark side in me and i have a light. but they both seem so extreme. i either want to be st francis of assisi or donald rumsfeld/sith lord/stalin/hitler etc. etc.
what happened to the middle ground of just being a normal, nice, hard-working person. i think i have delusions of grandeur or something... or am just extremist by nature. why would that be. all or nothing.
i am constantly so scared. living on the edge. my nerves frayed. i always think i can't take it any more - but of course i can - but does anyone feel that... that sense of wanting to give it all up and say no more, i give in. just let me stop.
stop.
fear --- half of it is in my imagination. i am strong. i can cope. i can make it. and what's the worst that can happen? i can die, right? doesn't sound too bad to me. sounds quite a relief, in fact.
i don't want to go over to dark side ---- darth can piss off.
(is this post completely barking mad? i am feeling a little crazy today)
geez B. just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you........ obviously!
your daughter had her foot on the chair of the train --- wasn't it for those types of evil-minded crimes that people got sent to Australia in the first place? what century are we in now? or did we just morph back to the 1800s when i wasn't looking???
i've always had a bit of a time-management problem but never been out as much as a century before now...???? anyways good luck with it - hope you get home before tomorrow
...it's been a depressing day all round i guess. really classic ADDer came in off skid row. UCLA educated, Vietnam Era vet (he called it era, i don't know why), a PhD, well-spoken, bright, together, totally ADDled, his entire resume he admitted to me was a lie excepting the first job... he has gone from job to job including being a deacon in the Catholic Church.
well-travelled, was in Paris in 1968 during the demonstrations there, been to London and Lisbon and all around Europe. comes from a good family presumably they looked after him right up until he finished at UCLA and then from there i guess Vietnam (but that didn't seem to be what had affected him at all) - then he got a teaching post but addled, lost it, moved, lost it, sacked, started drinking, had a spell in jail (for what i don't know - but nothing serious because it is one that can come off his record again soon ie not a violent crime or a sex crime) in Arizona.
ummm, so well-educated, so well-spoken, so STILL living in a fantasy world. i told him that i thought the best thing you can do, is go and write a purely honest resume (not to send out, but for yourself, and then go and see a shrink and see whether you have ADD. he SO does) but he's sixty. reduced to nothing - because of this ADD. it's fricking depressing. i mean when you see the conditions down there --- this is NOT nice.
there are 90,000 homeless. there is a lot of drug use. there is a lot of violence. a woman, not one of my clients, came in today and her arm had been slashed in the night by someone who tried to attack her (as a single woman) she escaped, apart from her arm, but it's not a place you really wanna be...
just because of undiagnosed ADD - way too depressing.
chjones - go toward the light side, feel the force, you can do it. Feel the force flow within you!!
Do not go toward the dark side - unhappiness it does bring.
taritac,
Two things jumped out at me. The first is that you are overloaded and sound depressed and stressed. You have good reason to be but it isn't likely that you will see your way out untreated. It sounds like you have been that way for quite some time.
Please, go tell your dr that you are overwhelmed. You can get something to help you get yourself back in decent emotional health and that in turn will enable you to see things more clearly. Things will take time but once you feel better about yourself, you will find it is easier to clean and to make small changes in your home. You may not be able to afford more than a gal of cheap paint or a 5x7 rug from Walmart, but that will help you feel tons better and more like finding more little projects to improve your home. When your environment is nicer, you will feel cheerier, especially knowing you are accomplishing it. I know from whence I speak because I went through the exact same thing.
I used to be an employment counselor in my varied work history and everyone who told you to find another job before you leave the one you have is right. It is easier to get a job when you don't need it.
As an employer, it was easier for me to believe that a job seeker was asking me for work because he wanted to work for me when he wasn't being forced to look for work by unemployment or social services. I also believed they were more responsible and able to hold down a job when they actually had one. You are more likely to be paid more at a new job if you are coming from one. They know that you don't have to take their job so if they want you, they are more willing to top what you are getting at your current one.
As for your finances and mail, you will be able to deal with them more successfully also when you are not so depressed and stressed.
I wish I knew what to tell you about your car. I would listen to Auntie and determine whether it is worth even getting it out. She is a smart lady and if she says it, I believe her!
I hope you get things straightened around soon.
i really don't know what to say because i am in the same boat too...
i just found out that my licence has been suspended because i forgot to pay the road toll 3 years ago!!
so i am stuck at work which is 60 kms from my house whilst my hubby has to go and pay it.. otherwise i can be hit with a 00 fine..
they also sent the sheriff to my house this morning with a warrant for my arrest for another two fines - failure to vote, and my dd having her foot on the chair of the train..
lucky i was at work .. i have 3 days to pay the other 2 fines or else i will be in jail for 5 days!!!
[QUOTE=taritac]Effin' banks!
My house hasn't had any upgrades or regular maintenance since I moved in 4 years ago. And (this is what has really done it to me), the cousin I grew up with has a beautiful home in a great neighborhood, a husband, two gorgeous, smart kids, a 6-figure income at a world-renowned firm, and lots of friends. She is smart, talented, THIN, and beautiful. The room lights up when she enters it.
She visited my house a couple months ago. My little hovel of a house. Not quite clean (after hours of cleaning in preparation for her visit), floors unfinished, kitchen incomplete, rooms unfurnished. I know that people compare us all the time and see what a success she is, and what a fat failure I am.
[/QUOTE]you see. you see. a NORMAL. a NORMAL.
is this what we all aspire to be?
like that. like a normal who finds it all oh, so easy. can have the house, the job, the husband, the kids, the clothes, the looks and still have time to help out at her local charity auction or having been so successful set up her own small non-profit for improving children's education.... a la Andre Agassi.
and probably scale mount everest too.
a NORMAL. a NORMAL.
you see. it's true. they all find it sooooooo easy.
do they?
they manage their lives. they can make successes of them. and be good people too. how extraordinary.
If life is a bowl of cherries , what am I doing in the pits?
Effin' banks!
I, too, could support a small nation with the amount of overdraft charges, parking tickets, late fees, etc. I have had this past year. For some reason, this year has been the worst. The most embarrassing and telling evidence of how bad it has been is my credit card statement full of liquor store purchases!!!
I'm just not living my life right.
Auntie (or someone, can't remember) asked me why 00 to get my car out of hock: Two unpaid tickets since 2003 and 2004, plus the towing fee. The notices for these tickets are sitting somewhere under stacks and stacks and STACKS of unopened mail. Things are going so bad right now that even when I have the money to pay for stuff, my life is so mismanaged that I don't know what to pay, or when.
I've been having a bad time of things emotionally, not only because of all the job and money problems, but also because I seem to either be standing still or regressing. After years of getting my bills and credit straight, they've recently gone STRAIGHT TO HELL!! My house hasn't had any upgrades or regular maintenance since I moved in 4 years ago. And (this is what has really done it to me), the cousin I grew up with has a beautiful home in a great neighborhood, a husband, two gorgeous, smart kids, a 6-figure income at a world-renowned firm, and lots of friends. She is smart, talented, THIN, and beautiful. The room lights up when she enters it.
She visited my house a couple months ago. My little hovel of a house. Not quite clean (after hours of cleaning in preparation for her visit), floors unfinished, kitchen incomplete, rooms unfurnished. I know that people compare us all the time and see what a success she is, and what a fat failure I am.
It's just depressing.
Anyway, thanks so much for commiserating with me. I feel a lot better after venting and receiving your well wishes. I've actually had a successful evening and managed to impress my boss! Maybe he'll think twice about firing me. I think I've at least bought myself some time so I can do a proper job search. Maybe I can stick it to them before they stick it to me!!!
A couple of you encouraged me to see the big picture and I must remember to do that. I am educated, I have a roof over my head, and hopefully by tomorrow, I'll have my car back. Even though I'm broke, I can probably scrape together the 00 by the end of the week (a bunch of other bills will have to wait, of course).
**Big picture, think positive! Serenity prayer! Don't worry, don't worry!**
taritac38657.8755092593well, i am always up for going out for a drink. that's for sure but whaddaya want me to do --- ask BA to give me a parachute and shove me out the door somewhere over the vicinity? with a 'have a nice day' from the air hostess at 40,000 feet?!?
only taking the piss.....
thanks for the invite. would love to - but yes, back home in 14
days (non-stop flight). woo-hoo. i guess i'll just have to
look out for you in the gloom of the dark side instead. it's been
great tho. i like America, in general, apart from the sith lords
and all that. California is very beautiful and people incredibly
upbeat and open and positive or so it seems to me (even the guys on
skid row try to keep a smile on their face - amazingly). maybe
i'll come back sometime. who knows? i've been converted to
yoga so i'm half-way californian already, no?the little editing work i did was very well received so we'll see - they could ask me back. time will tell....
meantimes blighty here we come. home sweet home. (although homeless - have friends sofa.....)
and then christmas and then.... it's all good.
would have loved to have seen denver tho --- that's in the mountains. that's skiing country, no? and the rockies an all.
well, i'll think of you as i look down from a height of 40,000 ft! hah! that'll suit my superior dark side to a tee.
haha..i wish you guys would quit posting details of my private life up here!!! so WHAT if i have 24854673 dollars worth of overdraft fees?? someone on here said it, its the banks only way of making profit. i should have my picture taken and hung up on the banks wall as honorable member of the year. they must know i hav adhd- they send me 2 or 3 letters a day reminding me of my -57402 dollars in overdraft fees (i cringe at red colors now). and i get upset because they send me millions of reminders, like im a child. but kind of glad they do. otherwise i'll forget and spend my next paycheck on crap i never use or look at again.
someone said theyre from la. i forgot who. but i used to live in l.a too (Before ADHD). l.a is just too much. i had to put gas in my car three times a day, expensive parking tickets everywhere i went, since i wasnt a true resident of california, i had ridiculous tuition rates, had to buy books, eat three times a day, any type of medication requiring intake more than one time a day was very difficult and often forgotten: *ahem...not good for females adhd's*. i had papers, projects for school, and i had to work too. i had to remember when all of these were to be done and how i was going to get it done. i often looked at my flatmates and wondered how they could do it. then i felt incompetent because all of these things i found difficult is what was termed a normal life. this made me work even harder. the line that seperates normal work load from over doing it is blurry and not really there. i did more than what i could handle, but i didnt see i was overdoing it. people said i was strong for being able to do so much. i just told myself i was stupid for not being able to do more. i thought this isnt too much, how can anyone not do all this? that is how i felt, but at the sametime i was sad and tired and mentally drained. but i pushed those feelings away- i didnt have time to be tired, so i drank more coffee and took more energy pills, (i was a stimulant addict for several years) did more work, took more classes. big deal this sh*t is easy? i also thought people were crazy for being able to finish a degree in four years, how they can go to class everyday and sit in class ebveryday and study everyday? because they want to get a 9-5 for the rest of their everyday life? repetitiveness and predictability scares me sometimes. i was doing all of this to achieve that, but when i stopped and thought about, i felt the yucky feelings of a mon-fri 9-5 life i secretly hated. it would not be the colorful rainbow life i wished. then i said 'shut up, just be like them, why cant u do anything right?.' i was very hard on myself. who else was going to put me down for my disabilities? i didnt have my parents or any teachers around to do it like they have been my whole life. im not hard on myself so much anymore. i ignored my talents which i acknowledge now. but i have to write them down and hang them up in my house or else i'll forget. 
i have endless post its and notebooks dedicated to things i have to do- reminders. people see my purse or desk and all the post its and paper lists with items crossed out or checked off scattered around everywhere and falling on the floor and on my computer; etc etc. they ask, "damn whats all this mess?" i just say, 'a part of my brain fell out.'
one last thing about the parking rules in l.a: on one side of the street you cant park there on thursdays from 10-12. just the next street over you cant park there on tuesdays from 8-10. several other streets around you cannot park daily from 7-5 but its ok on sunday. im sorry its just too much for me! i didnt see the sign with the parking schedule cuz i was too busy concentrating on driving and listening to music and thinking about purple fish and looking for a space. 
theres no room in l.a to park! they should build a second floor. then there would be less traffic. =)
****thanks for letting me type all my crap here guys. maybe no one reads it but typing all my retarded crap is like my 12 step therapy. and when i read everyones postings, i feel like i have real understanding for the first time. i come here when i am feeling bad. i think i am FINALLY developing my own emotions..not too sure cuz i dont know what its like. but i know that i am getting rid of the bad ones that have been donated throughout my life
Yes, barb, you are right. I am overwhelmed, stressed, and depressed. I used to take about a week off work each year to clean my house, do outstanding projects, etc. It was like pushing a RESET button on my house and on my psyche.
Well, this summer, in his INFINITE wisdom, our director decided that he would not allow leave for anyone for any reason other than sickness or death through the end of the year to finish a major project for our agency. This came after I had a huge falling out with my bosses about my productivity (a huge surprise to me given I had just had a positive performance review about 2 weeks prior), been demoted and moved out of my position. I am so angry and depressed about everything that happens, that I frequently cry on my way to work and CANNOT get anything done. I'm just so PARALYZED and don't care about anything that I am even less productive.
More than anything, I'm mentally, physically, and emotionally TIRED. I actually have a psychologist appointment next week to formally diagnose ADD, and my boss referred me to our Employee Assistance Program for being late all the time (we have a 5 min. late policy which is a JOKE-- how in the hell do they expect me to be less than 5 min. late! ). I think I'm going to ask them for a note to get me 2 weeks off!
Brooklea, please don't go to jail! Or maybe it would be a vacation from everyday life. A new experience! New friends! Just don't get shanked in the shower.
chjones, the homeless people you describe are exactly what I fear about my life-- that everything could just slip away because I can't pay bills on time or whatever. It is so scary.
taritac38658.2608101852it's wierd! i've been adddled the last day or so too. last week was a phenomenal (for me) success.
lots of work got done well, phone calls made, deadlines and goals met!
but yesterday and today it is a fog as thick as peas soup. motivation flagging. tired and somewhat confused.
up & down, up & down...
brookelea- i'm astonished at the penalties you are facing! are you from saudi australia? do they broadcast stonings from the public square?
taritac- believe me (all of us). i have all the stacks of unopened mail, papers, etc and so forth.
just found out i am 3 mos. past due for my phone/satellite/dsl service, tho it seems like i just avoided shut-off last week or so by paying the previous 3 mos.
someday, i would like to be caught up with all that sh*t too. i get billed monthly even though i only seem to pay quarterly.
barb makes a great point about little things.
one trick i use is to block out the big picture voice that tells me little steps will just get washed out by the tide of inevitable undoing.
then, i do this infinitessimal chore or improvement. that tiny victory usually propels me on to attack one more little item. then another or two, then i get bored and filled with pride simultaneously.
in the near future, i have the memory of my trivial successes to embolden me to take on other tasks, other acccomplishments.
even if you are only leaning forward, too tired (or unmotivated/frustrated/bored/foggy)to take another step, progress is progress and it is to be celebrated and commended.
lastly, miss jones. i'm surprised i haven't seen you over on the dark side. i spend more than my share of time there.
if you really are on your way back to the u.k., layover in denver. we can have a drink and toast to both sides!(the light and the dark, as well as both sides of the pond.)