normals | ADHD Information

I don't want to be normal.

I resisted treatment for a long time because I was afraid that in the course
of treatment I would lose my "edge." I like that I think differently than
most people, that I see the world differently. I'm creative and passionate,
and I don't want to change that.

Without ADHD, I wouldn't be "me." I want simply to be able to harness the
positive aspects of it and learn to work around the negative aspects.

My biggest problem with normaloids is how they look down their noses at those of us who aren't like them. I deal with a lot of this in my workplace, and it's what I hate most about it.See, here's the problem, chjones -- "normal" people do not think about whether or not people are normal, or whether it is good or bad to be normal, or if they are happy being normal. They just go to work every day and look forward to their next purchase, vacation, or promotion. They believe what they hear on the news. They know what they want, because they are told what to want by TV commercials. They do not spend a bit of time contemplating normalcy or the lack thereof. There is no pill that can induce that state, once the genie is out of the bottle and you have become an observer from afar of so-called normal life. I know that even if my attention and motivation problems were magically erased, I would still be an ironic outsider and thus not a normal. That comes from being not quite in step, and from a lifetime of thinking about everything but what I am "supposed" to be thinking about.

That said -- here's another thing I have thought about that totally contradicts what I just said, above. I heard a really good expression -- "don't confuse your insides with other people's outsides." The confidence and "normalcy" that our neighbors exude often hide a multitude of private weirdnesses.

hey wordwoman!

that is just an awesome little maxim.

i will add that to my arsenal of wmd's.(words of mental delight).

well i know this is kinda the wrong place to be asking but....

are normals happy?

is what i should aspire to - to be like a normal? is that the ultimate goal?

what is life like to be a normal?

does anyone know?

is it fulfilling? happy-making? useful? purposeful?

what is it, exactly?

how do they feel about life?

If being normal = being numb with mediocrity, then you can keep normal.

Normal?

What the frell is "Normal"? (if there is even such a thing).

And if we are talking about the kind of "normal" that teachers and my parents said I should aspire to be during my very young child hood....

Then I would rather not.

But thats just me.
ZORG38657.8373032407Don't know anyone normal, sorry [QUOTE=paritthead]

If being normal = being numb with mediocrity, then you can keep normal.

[/QUOTE]

i don't know. i suppose it could be that. OR it could be a functional, happy marriage an efficient, compassionate hard-working successful member of society. (a pillar of) a fun life, with lots of friends and successes and holidays off the coast of Corsica with your lovely, together wife and lovely, together friends with witty conversation and adorable children who will grow up to be wonderful doctors or other 'pillars of the community'.

a beautiful weekend holiday home in the Cotswolds, rewarding work helping those less-advantaged, creativity and intellectual stimulation at work and home.

i don't know. is that how life is for a normal?

never losing your keys or your temper. always being immaculately turned out but never judgemental. finding life boringly easy but never complaining and just swiftly moving to the top of any profession you find yourself in - due to expert ability to be able to get the project in on time, get the job done.

slightly bemused by add-er type people who seem to find so difficult what you find so easy. do they forget to pick up their aunt at the airport? no.

can they never find their keys? no

can they effortlessly flow through the days wondering why everyone else makes such a hash and a fuss of something so relatively simple?

maybe rather than 'normal', which makes us 'abnormals', we could go with 'linear minded' and 'non-linear minded'

thom hartmann breaks us up into hunters and farmers.

i'm definitely more a hunter than a farmer. we are the wild, untamed people. we react to the stimulus of life. we live best by the seat of our pants. i like that idea a lot.

we kind of do need to be medicated to cope with a powerful, soul-robbing culture. we're better at fighting against the dispossession of our individuality.

if you had to live underwater, would you use a breathing apparatus? if you don't, you will drown, asphyxiate. unless you can retreat to the surface regularly enough to maintain respiration. when you do, you miss things, but you survive.

or if you like, think of it in reverse, as if we are sea creatures, being forced to live out of our precious watery environment. required to function without submersion, and w/o a means of extracting oxygen to fuel our brains.

our western culture rarely offers the option of unrelenting spontaneity. it rewards predicibility. it does not care for originality and change. it feeds on regular, repeatable, drawn out processes.

plant at the right time. wait. regularly provide the right amounts of water and fertilizer. wait. weed out all extraneous lifeforms. wait. harvest at the preordained time. till under. wait. plan and repeat.

it's a little like 'the butter battle'. are you a yook, or a zook? butter side up? or butter side down? (butter side down is a little less convenient with gravity and all, but the butter hits your tongue faster and more completely.)

I like your analogy seeker!

I always wanted to be the "man from atlantis" growing up. Well without the constantly drying out and looking so icky LOL.

Yes virginia (or YOU as there is none here), there IS a happy "normal"!

There are also unhappy normals, paranoid normals and really pissed off normals.

They have all the emotions we have - but we tend to be so fogged up we don't recognize them without meds and therapy.

What they have going over us is the ability to "get it" - to be able to judge what to do and when to do it - and usually does it as well as the next Joe Normal. It's not better - but I prefer to be one in the crowd myself.

It's important to find a place in your world where you are happy too. I am now - I can keep my job and do it well, I have all these great friends here and new ones in the outside world and I don't make my own hells anymore - I have to avoid the outside world's ones just like everyone else.

We can all be normal - it depends on the circles you run in I think.

[QUOTE=ragurl] I heard someone say the other day, A bunch of people were in a room with a bunch of strangers, and each had to say what their biggest difficulty in life was and throw it in a pile in the middle. Then when all were done, each person could select someone else's burden if they wished, and leave theirs there. And in the end, they all picked their own burden back up and walked away.

Leaving me to wonder--would I want to trade my physical pain and struggles with my body for an ADD brain, but an able body? Or something else. Probably not. Would you want to trade places with me? Probably not if I told you all my diagnoses. I guess we prefer the "known" beast vs the unknown, and somehow must learn to accept and make adaptations to compensate. In the words of Forest Gump "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get" [/QUOTE]

My point of view......

I would pick my own burden back up. And in a heartbeat. Not because I would prefer the "known to the unknown", Not at all. I know many with whom I would 'like' to swap my add/hd difficulty with in trade for their specific and different difficulty.

My problem, and the reason I would take mine back is because I would NEVER.... NEVER EVER want anyone to have what I have. If losing what I have ment that someone else would get it in return... I'll keep my adhd.

ZORG38657.8600347222ps. never had a holiday off the coast of Corsica either, though I have spent holidays with my rather dysfunctional family of origin...well that is real sweet ZORG. a true altruist... Why yes it is ch, and I can't say there haven't been a few people I have known that I hadn't wished a little pain on--mostly docs who say "learn to live with the pain" and/or have the "its all in your head" mentality. Though possibly a few others. Not an altruist like Zorg I guess. [QUOTE=ragurl]ps. never had a holiday off the coast of Corsica either, though I have spent holidays with my rather dysfunctional family of origin...[/QUOTE]

man you have MISSED OUT. corsica is beautiful and one of my favourite places. the sea is turquoise and warm and the locals are crazy, a huge add-er strain in the lot of 'em. they are completely non law-abiding. i love them.

they are (gosh i hope i don't offend anyone here, cos since Sept 11th the subject of terrorism is a bit difficult with Americans whereas before you could say anything without seeming to be politically incorrect)

anyways ploughing on, the are completely mad. they burn down tourist houses because they don't want french tourists driving up house prices for the locals. they were smugglers originally and they have a thriving mafia still --- just a great, non-conformist type of people. and Napoleon came from there too so you can imagine what they are like. crazy, larger than life. very good at enjoying life. very secretive, hate any form of govt interference or cia-style nosiness. always doing lock-ins in bars and good music and beautiful, beautiful island...

a little of a reckless attitude toward the sanctity of life, i suppose. given that they are fairly quick to take it away from those they don't like or those they think should be redistributing their wealth more efficiently than they currently are.....

but a beautiful place!

[QUOTE=chjones]never losing your keys or your temper. always being immaculately turned out but never judgemental. finding life boringly easy but never complaining and just swiftly moving to the top of any profession you find yourself in - due to expert ability to be able to get the project in on time, get the job done.

slightly bemused by add-er type people who seem to find so difficult what you find so easy. do they forget to pick up their aunt at the airport? no.

can they never find their keys? no

can they effortlessly flow through the days wondering why everyone else makes such a hash and a fuss of something so relatively simple?

[/QUOTE]

If this reply says anything at all....

There is no such thing as "NORMAL"
i mean when we take adderall and the like is it to make us become MORE normal. as if that were the goal? that what we are all secretly aspiring to then is to be a 'normal'...

is it? could it be?

when we talk about 'good days' are we referring to days when we are closer to the ideal of being a 'normal'????

or what?

ok, i get it. thanks zorg. there is no such thing as a normal. ok...

there are just adders and those with other problems which are not adder like.

Darlings I hate to disappoint, and don't know if I am "normal" but I do not have ADD or ADHD. DOn't know about the ecstatically happy marriage, etc, because I am married to an ADD'r struggling to gain his footing. Personally, I have days where I forget things--keys, etc, but not every day or every week. Compared to my ADD DH and DD, I would say certain things are much easier and more "effortless" for me. Other things are not. For instance, I have none of their spontaneity, or impulsive joy. Wish I did. My problems are more physically based, in that I have several chronic illnesses that affect my life. Which often leads me to feel un-productive, and frequently un-fulfilled. I think we all have our crosses to bear.

I heard someone say the other day, A bunch of people were in a room with a bunch of strangers, and each had to say what their biggest difficulty in life was and throw it in a pile in the middle. Then when all were done, each person could select someone else's burden if they wished, and leave theirs there. And in the end, they all picked their own burden back up and walked away.