Hard time making friends | ADHD Information

It was both the help of the teacher and taking him to activities with lots of children. We actually met his friend at the pool and then when they saw each other at the bus stop the friendship sparks flew. I have heard Karate is highly reccomended for children with ADHD. It helps structure them in a positive way. When my son was 7, we had a birthday party and invited another child in the commumity that I knew had ADHD too.  Her mom dropped her off at my house and told me that it was the first party that her daughter had ever been invited too because most parents couldn't handle her level of energy.  Because my son was very immature for his age, he usually made friends with younger children.  The idea of getting ADHD kids together is great.  I wish I had done so when my son was younger. (he's grown now)  You might try connecting with parents in an ADHD support group.

That is a REALLY excellent suggestion!  Can you give me more details for how you went about it?  Who did you approach?  There are four 3rd grade classes but no one else in his class has ADD.  So we'd need to find out if some one in the other classes does.  Did you talk to his teacher? the principal?

Thanks greatly for the suggestions!

Hi all,

My son is in a mainstream class for the first time this year for 3rd grade.  He's having a hard time making friends.  He says the other kids think he's weird.  He tries to be funny but doesn't pick up on those social clues when he's going overboard with the silly.

We suggested to him that he watch the other kids (how they talk, interact, etc) and try and do the same.  It feels strange to tell him, don't bring attention to yourself, try and keep it cool (don't be an individual, conform, fit in!) but I don't know what else to suggest to him. He's a very sweet kid, he just doesn't have great impulse control.  I know it really bothers him, especially at recess when he doesn't have any one to play with. 

We have him in Cub Scout and the drama club, to give him more interaction with other kids in a more structured environment but..

Any other suggestions?

Cubs and Drama is a fantastic way to go, does he take an interest in any type of sport? Sport is a way that if he has the skills the other kids will warm to him.

I know the heartache of being a kid who just didn't fit, only my mum to this day doesn't understand the feelings I had or the way lots of kids who were supposed to be my friends ( in her eyes anyway ) made me feel and teased me.

On the other hand we are now watching 2 of our 4 children are challenged by exactly the same thing. Our eldest is about to turn 13 and until this year never had friends and I've just found out the friends he does have ( or so I thought were GOOD friends ) are teasing him to the point he in all knotted up inside and makeing himself sick with anxiety and was spiraling into major depression. We knew something was wrong but never pin pointed the friend issue........ His response to not saying anything to us was, " I wanted you to believe I had friends so you don't have to worry about me anymore " .

I just want you to know there are others who know your heartache with this issue and that you are doing the exact right thing with Cubs and Drama at such a young age. Your son is who he is and you can't change that, I'm sure you do already, but help him embrace those qualities of himself that are his greatest.

Have you considered homeschooling, there are great networks world wide where families homeschool and come together for the children to play and socialise as well as learn. Homeschooling doesn't mean no friends, in fact I see more social skills in families who are homeschooling their kids. Schools set kids up for rejection because they are structured for a specific type of person. BTW, I'm a big believer of homeschooling but don't actually homeschool because of our circumstances but there may come a time pretty quick when I do decide enough is enough.

Homeschooling is just a suggestion fo you to ponder, there is heapson the web about it. Can I ask which country you are in? 

 

Thanks for your response GymRose .  I'm in the U.S.

I really feel for your son and I'm so afraid that is what the future holds for my cherub if we can't find a couple nice friends for him.  Home schooling is not an option for us currently because my husband and I both work full time.  We may try the sports angle. He likes capture the flag and other games like that.

I so wish I could have given you more suggestions and hope, however there is always hope and maybe it wont always be this way for your son.

We just started our second youngest in Gymnastics which is helping and the other thing we have started to do with our boys is walk for an hour first thing in the morning which takes some of the energy they have to burn, not much but some. Little Athletics has a variety of quick challenges or races that would be a good sport for a child with a low attention span, that is why we find Gymnastics so good too, plus all that climbing strength and energy gets put to good use as well.

Tis not easy at all being a parent but even harder when you see your kids just don't fit even though they have the most amazing giftings and tallents. It all comes down to what society dictates and teaches the so called normal people.

I really hope with all my heart it improves for your entire family.  

GymRose38659.6572685185Let us know how he does. My son is also in the 3rd grade and up to this point he was never able to make friends as well. Always going overboard with the jokes that it became very annoying. He annoyed the other children at school so much that when lunch time came and he sat down at a table all the other kids scooted away. But we found another little boy who also is ADHD and in his grade. We got the two together and now they are best firends. We have talked to our boys and explained that what they have the other does too. Now they each understand each other enough to handle the others actions, jokes, etc. It has been a gods gift that my son has made a best firend and now he goes out all the time to the park and wears off some of that energy. Maybe it's time to try match maker!