field trip yesterday

Ok I know it is not the most "real" environment ot watch my son in - but it was a chance to watch how he interacts. He was out of the loop so to speak, he played with the group but just outside of it, not closely with anyone he kept to himself a bit but not like a loner just like a kid who is trying to fit in but not sure how to -  - I asked teach about it today - she said after the last few weeks all his ups and downs have left his friends a little wary of him, they dont know how he iwll react so he is working his way back into the fold. I think she was trying to be reasssuring - I dont feel reassured. It is sad to see this vibrant boy - w/o his vibrancy, looking a little left out. I could see other kids actually avioding him - i do understand why sometimes - he can be annoying as all get out - from speed talking to tigger bouncing he can be hard to be around but he has a really big heart, at least I think so......... I am a bit sad for my boy today - i know it will pass and i hope he will get through this struggle too.

on a positive note he was THRILLED i could be there - that was awesome!

yeah i am starting to wonder if what at first seemed like normal anxiety has not escalated with all drug changes and life changes - moving, new brother etc.  

the therapist  felt we had made so many changes lately that maybe before we did any testing we should talk more of our stuff out. I am not opposed to talk therapy but i think the dx needs to be done first and then i will find a therapist inside my benefit network rather then paying an out of pocket to her office (wher ei went for the neuropsych eval - sorry a bit bitter about them right now) A little over a month to our next evaluation - fingers crossed we get some answers...

I would be careful to fully explain that he WANTS to be in the loop....wouldn't want the doc to think he's autistic b/c you say he plays next to the group and not with them.

I think your son has anxiety issues....but I'm no doc.  My son has soical issues b/c of his anxiety.  He loves having friends and playing with them but many times the anxiety causes him to be stand-offish.

Our chidlren are not always welcomed with open arms (b/c of thier behavior)...this causes anxiety issues and low self-esteem b/c of the   unpredictability of how they will be accepted by their peers.

he has friends - sorta it was more interesting to wwatch how he watched the group looking for a place to fit in or when he just jumped in both feet

He is in a very small class - 27 total - 14 first graders, 13 second (he is 2nd), he does playdates which i (depending on with whom) keep a pretty close eye on - some homes it can be long some only an hour or two - parents cant always handle tiggers - -

he is a great kid, i just wis it wasn't always so hard to see

adding a question

 - do you think that description would work for a doc? would they know what i meant by outside of the loop? sometimes i say these things and then think the docs are waiting for me to explain what i mean - but these are the best words i can come up with...........

4ever - good luck with your guy. It is so sad when they want to have these friends but dont know how to make them, breaks my heart b/c i know he is a good boy. 

We had some rough times recently that led him to being mean and aggressive towards others and this behavior had alienated him form some of his friends (he talks too much, too fast, fidgets to the point it distracts, is rough and runs things and people over in his hurry to do something).

We are back off meds again - maybe temporary we will see - and today was a not so good day with school so we will just keep trying. 42 days until neuropsych - yeah!

Thanks for the luck, sometimes we really do need it It can be so hard to come home from a great day just to find out that he has hit someone again. But...I really had to do some thinking and I tried to imagine what would make him act act in such a way when he is normally a compassionate child. Well...I came up with this...he feels alone and vulernable not to mention different. And there is no one there to defend him. So the aggression is a defense mechanism is what I came up with. Do think this is possible for your guy? I also think he is trying to be noticed any way he can. Teacher call this just trying to get attention but I think it's worth a chat. I spoke to my son's teacher about this and she has agreed to give him more helper chores, you know something to be proud of like line leader or the caboose (the last person in line who makes sure everyone is quiet and ready to go). Little ego boosters. Also she started pairing kids for projects maybe this can help. She also started giving more rewards during the day for little task instead of rewards just @ the end of the day. Which in my house is a godsend b/c sometimes it seems impossible for a whole day to go well

Also, the school has allowed him to take some time from recess to read to the kindergarten class as a reward. Also something to make him feel special and on top of the world. Do you think your guy trusts his teacher and feels protected by him/her? These are somethings that have really helped the behavior get better for us hopefully you can take something from it to help your little one. I know about the count down...9 days till group anger-play theraphy-Whew! Surprisingly after calling this one, who referred me to that one, and so on we found the play theraphy group and it's covered by insurance. I have a friend who works for a local alternative school and her school nurse referred the group to me and beleive it or not its offered by the local hospital. I don't know how I missed that and after months of searching! Keep the pushing! You'll be in my thoughts.

he has a great teacher - he adores her - i dont know if some of his behaviors are defensive/anxiety/mood/or med driven hopefully that is part of the process with the neuropsych.

Best wishes again with your new group.

Keep us posted on your progress, hope you are finding lots of support here - this place has helped me tons over the past few months.