modern life | ADHD Information
oh frick. ya know, it's no big deal but my meeting for 2.45 just got cancelled and for no explicable reason it totally threw me....like i should care. but urghhh --- sometimes i think i am so unfit for modern life. i simply can't cope. a stupid thing like that and then i come out of the office and have a cigarette and there is a homeless (as ever in LA) there and i'm talking to him and gave him a cigarette too....
and he is all full of 'life here, terrible. difficult etc. etc. LA is like this, sucks you in and spits you out. i used to be a comic...' just what i didn't want to hear when i am suddenly feeling all vulnerable...
just over a cancelled meeting.
what am i like? it is so stupid. anyway just wanted to vent. no reply needed --- just wanted to get it out of my system so i can go back to editing.
who would employ such a useless over-sensitive, incompetent, crappy person as an ADDer anyway when there are a whole bunch load of effective, competent, non-crappy normals to do the job.
what am i thinking? i should just go and boil my head.
talk about sensitive - mizz frizzle you ain't got nothing on me. how can that throw me. why? it hasn't really, i'm back here working and so on. but it threw my mood that's for sure. i am like that. one moment 'a' the next 'z'.
i need another cigarette. where's the goddam adderall when you need it???? to bad we can't teleport it through the 'puter. one day i guess....
oh well. hahahahaha - too bad the homeless comic didn't have any good jokes, the only one he said i didn't get cos i was too stressed (some crap thing about fog and London - straight over my head). but better to laugh. than to stress ---
and it doesn't matter. it's just a cancelled meeting --- hey, i feel better already. venting is GOOOOD. thanks.
Yes, venting is good, glad we could be here for ya!
By the by, maybe you can join me in my simplified living quest. Voluntary mediocrity, I call it.
:)
hah wrong ---- it made me laugh, and now i feel better.....
"The Modem Life" I thought you said, CH hee, heewhere do i sign up? [QUOTE=pilgrim]"The Modem Life" I thought you said, CH hee, hee[/QUOTE]
that too...
it can all go boil its head!
you know what i am good at. i am good at pretending to be good at life. or something.
what on earth do they teach us at school. what they should teach is "how to enjoy life" first.
then teach reading and writing. then teach how to be a good person.
what the frick do i care about Balfour's Education Act 1904....? huh?
is that really of any relevance at all.
why should i want to know about that. no rather i would prefer to know how to make people laugh, how to increase happiness in this world, how to love someone without hurting them, how to nurture the environment, how to live in peace, how to be kind, useful and decent - why don't they teach that sort of stuff... hmmm?
balfour's friking education act.
for what?
I agree with you Jonesie -- Honestly, there's nothing new in the world and there really won't ever be, so why are we all trying so hard to get somewhere that no one before has found complete happiness . . We all learn in the end all the crap we strove for in the beginning was useless -- so why not just sit back and enjoy the ride and make the best of situations and live and love because there's no tomorrow??
Boy, I jsut re-read that, and I bet it did not make you feel any better :)
oh yes, simplicity here i come. in fact i am going to sign up for extreme simplicity, put on a small sackcloth and cover my body and hair with ashes...
and dance up and down the streets.
why not? is our purpose here in life not just to know god? why should i need a job to do that - a job seems more of a distraction. a hindrance rather than a help.
good.
i must find that book again. the one about the russian monk (do you know what i am talking about?) it's very sweet but i lost it somewhere... i'll look on amazon. i can't remember the title exactly tho or the author still. i'm sure i can find it.
i think this is a form of existential angst - but luckily it passes fairly quickly. or is it madness? what is the difference these days anyway. i have never quite understood where that fine line between madness and sanity lies. most famous people were considered quite crazy in their life times:
st francis of assisi, jesus of nazareth, socrates or more creatively van gogh, mozart, virginia woolf or on the dark side stalin, hitler, ivan the terrible, pol pot (those of course only after they were dead, everyone being too terrified to mention it while they are alive).
madness is what? - not being sufficiently successful to get away with it?
glad you found my serious ponderings funny :) and that made me laugh more...
(nevermind)
hey, heidi m you never told me where to sign up for the mediocre life
(it would be a step up from the completely bollocks life i am currently
on so woo-hoo mediocrity here i come... just hang on in there,
i'll be arriving as soon as i can....?)don't cry - i loved your posts. what's better than laughter. and anyways i was laughing at the futility of the life i currently try to lead --- it's only that you pointed it out so well, it didn't seem depressing rather than funny!
Miss Jones, has what is refered to in medical circles as a 'severe case of the "WONKY & CRONKY's" I'm afraid . . .
funny in that kinda desperate sort of a way (gallows humour - i think they call it)...chjones38660.7167708333yup - they come out of nowhere when you're not looking and jump on your head.
it's always a bit surprising!
[QUOTE=pilgrim]Miss Jones, has what is refered to in medical circles as a 'severe case of the "WONKY & CRONKY's" I'm afraid . . .
[/QUOTE]
Jonesie, sign ups are allover the place. I think the first is at the local goodwill, and then at your church, then maybe a community center, and finally your place of business -- at that one you sign up for less hours to work!
CHJONES-
You say you're not ready for modern life??
I say modern life's not ready for you!!!
Go get em!
Knowing those close to you who share in this life is a much better purpose than knowing 'god' -- you're not guaranteed to find one at the end of the rainbow. Take advantage of what/who you have here and now.
Sorry, I'm just not in a good mood. There's nothing new in the world, and certainly nothing good.
alright. i'll bear that in mind and hold off on the sackcloth and ashes for the moment....
why no good mood?
I dunno, this whole ADHD is really getting to me. Or it's just me getting to me. it's ok heidimarie. we're not so bad ----
as you said, get us all together we'd make a great creative business an all. are you on meds btw?
i bought some fish oil tablets and some magnesium a while back but i have used them all of two times. i am gonna take some now, instead. to help me get some of this done.
honestly, i swear there are times when i would be very grateful for an adderall pill. or a line of cocaine. or something. i am a bit depressed too - perhaps it is in the stars.
well, if you were here - we could go for a drink and get pissed and chat up men and go dancing... but you're not, so i guess i'll have find someone else instead. it's entirely your fault for not living in LA
and mine for not living in Maine. hahahahaha. never mind i am off to take my fish pill and have a cigarette (knowing my luck the two'll cancel each other out). how is rugrat? you changed the pic - very sweet!
he is a charmer - will be a heart-breaker when he grows up no doubt! big kiss cj
Jonesy - maybe try and smoke the fish oil and take a nicotine pill? Maybe they'll work better that way?
Maine - right! That explains a lot - they are so filled with angst. Quakers, murder she wrote, stephen king - now why the hell would anyone be depressed?
i think he is depressed today as well.
ah well, maybe a comedy club. how long have you been dxed for? i was dxed just before i came out here so three and a bit months i guess....
On Adderall, starting concerta tomorrow. It's all so hit and miss and hopeless. I'd like a lobatomy personally.
Fish pills helped me before I knew I had ADHD . . With my adderall I take 250mgs DHA and 500mg Magnesium seemed to help a little, but then again I'm sitting here depressed out of my mind so maybe it isn't. It's so hard to keep a positive front on this war, isn't it? Jonesie, you and I do need to get drunk. Unlike adderall, alkie's never let me down.
Jerry is well -- cute and sweet as ever and I am so undeserving of such a sweet little thing. He really is the best thing in my life.
hey, enjoy your smoke, jonesie.
Murder she Wrote? that was Maine ----hahahahahaha no wonder you're depressed.
that explains it all!
in fact i was at Universal Studios the other day and walked straight past Jessica Fletcher's house...... Maine is also in LA - spooky!
Yeah they redid that fictional cove with Angela Landsbury's home and all. Ugh - that lady looks like a shar pei now!LOL!! Bad maine accents too.
Maine can get dark rainy and gloomy - I can understand how she can get all poopy like that. I think Heidi should get a SAD light - the one that gives full spectrum? A LOT of people get Seasonal Affective Disorder this time of year with it getting so dark. My exgf gets SAD - and it is like the walking dead all gloom and doom PLUS bipolar. Now remind me anybody why I spent 13 years in that?
well, i just went for a short stroll with my cigarette. and in fact it is a beautiful night here in LA. really lovely. and there is this crazy house - it is for sale but it's the most crunky thing you have ever seen.... built on sticks!so mad. looks like you could push over the canyon easily!
i feel better just for seeing it!
stupid house. on these tiny sticks and otherwise suspended over space....
i guess you have to see it!
hey seeks hey miz frizzle --- thank y'all.
yup, i'm gonna get em - if they don't get me first!?! cj
Jonesie!!
ahh heidimarie - when i am ruler of the world (finally as is my grand plan) your wish shall be my command.....hmm now i wonder what you would wish for....?
i think it's wierd that something so insignificant can have such a tremendous effect on your mood.
it happens to me too. some little wrench in the works topples you from steaming right along, into a muddy rut.
it just s**ks sometimes to have such fragile, mercurial moods. then on top of it, adhd or no, to not really be able to grasp how it happens, or how to divert the change from happening.
Believe me there is TOO much of a good thing! We get a big box of chips a week if we want them for 5 bucks - and I give it to my parents or landlord. I can't stand to eat more than I need for sampling. The smell of ketchup chips makes me ill outside of work. Ugh.
I am at a pretty good weight. I gained a bit when I started but it goes away quickly.
Chips - ugh.
ketchup chips?? we don't have that variety here!!
my cousin used to work for smiths chips and brought home boxes after boxes..
she was sick of them, i was not
cadbury has more variety - different types of chocolate and soft drink and icecream!!
so i get sick of one, i can move on to the other
thats the theory anyway!!
Every country has their own flavours they like. They don't even use potatoes in some areas. We got a sample of chips from Hawaii to sample at work - they use tarot root which is a natural tuber there. It's not bad but is different.
We try all sorts - we even did a "roast chicken" for the US for a while. Ugh. The smell was awful - I went and found out what it is and had to go to the spice aisle in the grocer's to get it - SAGE! Just stank like nothing else.
i love the roast chicken!! now you have turned me off!! i'm imagining the smell
Now imagine that smell every day - 8 to 12 hours of it. Great diet aid I can tell you!! whaddaya mean brookelea --- you ain't dead yet. !!!!
bitter????? you're gonna be a superstar... i'm waiting to see the new chain of super schools specifically for addled kids the'brooketessori's' --- the phenomenon in new style learning that sweeps across the world (or whatever it is you feel passionately about)....
hah!
love that term jonesie
can't seem myself in education for too much longer.. the government here can't bear intelligent teachers who provoke thoughts from students!!
i really need to go and work for cadbury my next goal!!
Hey - if Cadbury is like Frito Lay you'd probably enjoy it! The pay is good, you get free samples (to ahem check for quality ahem) and perks like Tshirts, boxes of stuff, etc. You get an awesome medical plan too.
And, if you're like me you won't touch the stuff after a while because you get sick of looking at it!!!
Well you can hope right?
naa glen, i would become the size of a forest!! they would have to roll me outdon't know how you have been able to manage!!
shooting for mediocre ain't givin up CG --- sheesh i'd be amazed if i could make it.
I think there are two versions of what people see as "normal" or "mediocre". Some see it as an insult or as "settling".
Me? I see "normal" as getting what others take for granted. Those things are amazing and exciting to me.
Having kids - I can't. I envy each person who can and don't appreciate the marvel and the wonder of the whole thing.
Making your own family. Mediocre? Hardly! To have a wife, two kids, white picket fence is beyond my wildest imagination as a fantastic adventure.
Having a job you love. Well, I got that. It's an average job with an average income but I have made it my mission to be the best at it I can - and have!
Friends - wow to have them again and this time to appreciate them! People who make friends at the drop of a hat I truly envy. They have a most valuable asset and I hope they know it.
For me - mediocre is a lofty goal. One worth reaching for. I'm going to get most of it. Maybe they have the 2 and a half kids at rent-a-center!
[QUOTE=HeidiMarie]I hate to be the downer here, but I've found that the higher you shoot, the harder it is when you fall. Don't expect anything and you won't be let down. [/QUOTE]
nooooo!!
always shoot high or you will end up bitter and twisted like me!! what could of been?? what should of been?? what if i just took the risk??
aim high and you may have a chance.. aim low and you will never improve..
God, my life would have been so much easier if I had known all I had to do was shoot for mediocre.
GIIIIIRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSS -
Never give yup - Sunrise comes after darkness
I hate to be the downer here, but I've found that the higher you shoot, the harder it is when you fall. Don't expect anything and you won't be let down. I would wish for your contentment, or happiness, dear Jonesie! And for the happiness of all my fellow ADHDe'rs!