Advice please

perhaps you should have your child tested, but dont forget what your husband said. its possible that maybe your son is just not motivated by the teacher and she doesnt know how to deal with it. ad/hd comes in all kinds of shapes and sizes and there are 50 other things that shadow/mimic adhd. some arent even mental/behavior issues. such as a nutrient deficiency so research as much as possible, you know your son the best. its true, teachers love children and want the best for them. but so do nurses and i just watched a documentary about pissed off 'serial nurses'.  point being, sometimes people arent what their job title states. which brings me to my next point, make sure you find good docs/counselors/whoever to work with. feeling cared for is crucial.
rewards and incentives are a huge deal to me..ive always had desure just not enough motivation. so the prize has got to be now or soon, i cant see future. not that i cant see it, i guess i cant wait? actually i just cant explain it.   all of these things and more are basically controlled by brain chemicals. maybe trying to find a test for his levels would work? heres examples of chemical functions:
[this is information for anyone interested as well.]

The inhibitory mechanisms of the cortex keep us from being hyperactive, from saying things out of turn, and from getting mad at inappropriate times.

Reticular Activating System (our attention center) is the connection between our internal feelings and the external world. it controls impulsive or self-controlled, motivated or bored easily.

Reticular Activating System is also the center of balance for other systems involved in learning, self-control or inhibition, and motivation. When functioning normally, it provides the neural connections that are needed for the processing and learning of information, and the ability to pay attention.

hope this helps some.

Hi,

I stumbled across this site while searching for information about ADD. I would like to give a little information about my son and possibly get some advice/information.

General description of my son: 9 years old, 4th grade, very smart (grades and test scores are high), not athletic (swim team, but not good at most team sports), small for his age (probably why not athletic, plus my husband's family is on the small side~other two sons caught up in high school), 3rd of 3 boys~brothers are 20 and 16, very social~friends comment on how well mannered, funny, smart he is. You get the picture~pretty much all around good kid. More info though: distracted easily, forgetful, likes to hum when reading, doing homework, drawing, etc., has a hard time focusing on tasks, forgets papers at school about once a week. I personally witnessed this at school last week: Kids were to do some paper cutting. He was so busy talking to the other kids that he was the last one done~not by much, 3 minutes or less. So overall, he is not focusing on what he is supposed to be doing. There are no actual "behavior" issues. Never been sent to the principle, gets no more "checks" (like demerits) than an average kid, etc.

We have always blamed the negative things on the fact that he is the the youngest, big spread between him and brothers, I am now stay at home mom and wasn't until the other two were in school so probably babied him more than the other two~and with all these factors, we figured we encouraged some immature and irresponsible behavior. We have had parent teacher conferences in the past and they tell us he has issues like easily distracted, not finishing papers on time, etc (never a hint of ADD), we cut back on all electronics and we see a difference in his behavior.

Well~We just came from his first conference of the year and his teacher suggested we get him tested for ADD. She says we can go through the school or we can have our doctor test him. I was stunned. This is the first time in 9 1/2 years someone has suggested  this. Maybe we are in denial, but here are some reasons I think she may be wrong, but since I am very uneducated on this topic I thought I could get some help here:

We (and the teacher) have noticed that if he is given an ultimatum (lose recess, eat lunch in class, sit out on an activity) that he can suddenly focus and finish his tasks. Same at home, when we set a timer for homework (or chores, etc.), he finishes in that time, w/o timer he could take 10 times as long, or can do his homework w/o humming. Can a child turn it off and on like that? It seems to me that his issue is more of a discipline problem. When threatened with punishment or offered reward, he can behave properly for long periods of time.

I'm sorry this is long, but I was hoping to give as many details as possible so you have a good picture of our situation. I am afraid that if we go through the school and we decide to do/or not to do something (not sure what) that they think we should/shouldn't do that we could lose some of our control.

Last thing I want to say is that the teacher said, and I quote, "If it is ADD you will know within the first 48 hours (after taking medication) because he will be a totally different kid." Maybe she misspoke, but I don't want a totally different kid, note all the good things I described about my son. My husband seems to think that she wants a "totally different kid" to make her job easier. I'm trying not to think in that direction because I want to believe she has brought this up because she is truly concerned.

I don't really know what questions I'm asking except that in all your experiences could a kid turn it on and off? and wouldn't teachers in past years gone as far as bringing it up before 4th grade? Wouldn't it be apparent earlier than this?

Ginger

My dd has ADD and was diagnosed a little over a year ago at the beginning of her 7th grade year.  She did OK at school but not without lots of help at home and time at Sylvan Learning Center.   We had her tested at school when in the fourth grade and they found her to be average and so she would not qualify for services.  It was a catch 22.  If we hadn't been so actively involved I'm sure her grades would have been low enough to qualify.  I always wondered why, if she was average, was it so difficult for her?  Gradually the problems were increasing and becoming less manageable.  Last year her pediatrician diagnosed her with ADD and she has been taking Adderall XR.  It has really been a help to her!  Perhaps not the answer for everyone but not one I regret.

There is nothing wrong with testing and finding out what, if anything, you are dealing with.  Keep in mind a second opinion may be valuable especially if you questions the findings.  If you had concerns about his eye sight would you hesitate to have him examined by an ophthalmologist?  Why hesitate in this instance?  You are under no obligation to medicate despite the results.  The results may not even point to ADD.  If there are problems you may want to make some accommodations without medications.  You may want to try meds or perhaps wait a few years and see how it goes and revisit your decision. 

I agree with Luvmykids02 and echo her remarks.  Best of luck!        

If he has adhd it sounds mild to me.  If he is not suffering in school I wouldn't pursue a diagnosis.  It certainly sounds like he is functioning just fine.  As he gets older his lack of focus may cause more trouble for him and then, if I were you, I would look into the adhd issue. 

Try to encourage your son to be more responsible with homework, schoolwork, papers... through a reward/consequence system and ask the teacher to support that at school.  That is all I would do.

My daughter is about the same age as your son, your description of him could fit her.  There is nothing wrong with getting him tested, but start with the small stuff first, get his eyes examined, and hearing checked.  Get a good physical exam too.  Sleep apnea symptoms can be similar to ADHD. Then get tested.  And tested doesn't mean the doc asks you a couple of questions and writes a prescription! 

ADHD doesn't always mean no focus.  My child can play legos for HOURS by herself!  When she's in art class she does intricate work with attention to tiny details. 

If you can get the testing through the school system - why not?  Even if you do not think there is a problem (and you being the parent should know since he is yours and not the teacher's) I wouldn't think that the testing would hurt.  If you know there is not a problem the test will then prove the teacher wrong.

My 6yr old son has recently been dx is ADHD.  He is mainly inattentive the comes impulsive with hyperness coming in last per the test.  But WE see if the hyperness at home and the aggrevating he gives his younger brother.  My husband and I know that it is not a discipline problem - b/c discipline we do!  The dr. did not like the fact that we homeschool (b/c of area schools) so I was the only one to fill out the questionaire for 'TEACHER' or my mother who happens to be his Sunday School teacher for this year.  They were reluctant to test him b/c of this.  They thought that since I did not a certify teacher who other kids to compare my son to we were correct.  Well, the test came back and guess what?  WE WERE RIGHT!!!!  He is now on meds with great results!

About the getting work done when there is a consequence.  Yes, he did that also.

Just be happy that you can go through the school system (we could not b/c of homeschooling - but that was okay) which will cost less and just maybe you can 'show up' the teacher.

But do remember . . . mother's usually know best (but not always).

Goodluck!!!