Employee Assistance Program-- What To Do? | ADHD Information
Because of my lateness, my boss has referred me to the Employee Assistance Program. My first meeting is tomorrow morning. I have no idea what to expect. Has anyone had to deal with this?
I STRONGLY suspect that my bosses are more than willing to fire me from my civil service position (in the past few months, they've gone from calling me one of their best to throwing a bunch of work at me, saying I'm unproductive, giving me an additional job, and switching my position), especially since they've already "layed off" 2 employees for less than good reasons. A couple of people have implied that the only reason I'm still there is that my immediate supervisor likes me.
Should I tell the EAP that I am ADD (haven't been officially diagnosed yet)? My first appointment with a psychologist is next week, but every Friday afternoon, I'm apprehensive that I'll be fired.
Also, how late is everyone? I am late to work 3 or 4 days out of the week. We have a 5 minute late policy, but I am frequently 15-30 minutes late. Is anyone else this late? What's wrong with me?
You have some time problems, set an alarm to go to bed, when in bed, GO TO SLEEP. Brisk walks and other things will help tire you out.then set an alarm to go off in your room. I used a timer attached to a house stereo and cd player.
when it went off, It set car alarms off. Queen, whatever, but it works..
you could use a boom box or "other" loud source.
anyway, it worked.
here are some other tips.
have all your stuff set out the night before.
GET STARTED ABOUT 8:30 pm. get your clothes and other things ready, then take a shower. turn the alarm off for bed time, and set your morning alarm for 5 minutes ahead of your usual time.
MAKE SURE ALL YOUR STUFF IS PREPARED THE NIGHT BEFORE,
keys, wallet,shoes, etc etc. all there in one spot.
if you forget something and can make it without it, leave it in the morning.
morning
shut off alarm. get up, go to bathroom, get dressed, throw on shoes, grab lunch, GRAB STUFF, GO TO WORK. it takes me a grand total of 15 minutes in the morning, and I am gone.
you have to put this stuff in the same place, night after night.
I would tell my bosses, I am working to become more organized.
make up a list of what your doing every night to adress the issues at work.
#1. Tardiness.
I have made these changes in my home life.
blah blah blah blah, and blah blah blah.
But you better get it and do it right now, you should already be close to getting into bed..
I take a shower at 10:15 and am in bed between 10:35 and 10:45.
Then I get up at 5:59am every morning. refreshed and alert.
be sure to put a fan blowing on you while you sleep.
and be sure to put the stereo far away from you to get you UP and out of bed.
I use this.
I used to be late oh,,,, 3 times a week as well.
then I figured it out. I was staying up to late worrying about crap, and things I couldn't change. Can't miss a minute of anything... then WHAM, one day, I was elected as city councilman, and I had to get my sh*t together, if I was going to lead others. and since then I have been a model of early. I get to work 15 minutes early, daily. far cry from 7 yrs ago.
sad part is I used to always rush around in the morning. I didn't plan to fail, I failed to plan.
so i got me a plan
feel free to print this and tape it to something you see to remind you.
I keep a notebook of what to do, I use it.
It works.
remember, don't overwhelm yourself. do a little each night. and leave free time.
bugzappers38665.8748148148
Taritac,
I know it depends on company policy but most would say being late (over the 5 minute limit) more than once a month is too much. Sorry for the bad news.
Being in Human Resourses, if this is the same thing most companies have, I can tell you that they will try to help you work out a way you won't be late. Like common sense things like going to bed earlier. Setting your get up time 1/2 hr. earlier. They may even ask you if you have personal things going on that is stressing you out. They may ask if you are having transportation problems, a sick relative that is causing difficulties. That type of thing. They are there to help you and I would suggest you really try to follow their recommendations or you may be on the way out the door, I'm sorry to say. But do keep in mind, they wouldn't do this if they didn't really want you to stay.
I have no suggestion about telling them about having ADD. Maybe someone else on this board can give you some input there.
I used to have problems getting to work on time also
.. I never got things laid out the night before.. tried to , but couldnt get the hang of it for some reason. BUT, I do make sure ALL of my laundry is done over the weekend and my clothes are all hanging in the closet. Showers happen at night -- no time in the AM.. I also set my alarm 30 minutes before I have to actually start to get dressed and ready.
I use that 30 minutes to relax.. drink my coffee and do whatever else I want to do.. I have the timer in my kitchen set to remind me to get up and get ready after my "quiet time" . It really helped me focus a bit in the mornings.
WARNING: I tried doing things like checking email during that time.. um Do NOT do it.. you will ignore the timer to start getting dressed! LOL been there done that!
The main thing is to find a routine that works best for YOU and stick with it.
Sherry
Get diagnosed, disclose it and learn about your rights. That's what I did. You have rights under The American's with Disabilities Act for school or employment. I got a flexable schedule and could make up time if I was late.
Most, if not all people with ADHD have a very poor concept of time.
bepatient38666.0028935185Taritac you mentioned your house was a mess!!
so is mine.. welcome to the club! LOL
I wanted to share with you something that helps in that area. it doesnt solve my house cleaning problems , but my house looks better than it ever has in 20 years of marriage :
the site is awfully funny and I think ADD friendly. She has this acronym that I love: CHAOS - Cant Have Anyone Over Syndrome
Gotta love it!! check it out if you want some ideas;)
Personally, since you are on shaky ground anyway, I would tell them. I would tell them that I have an appointment for testing and that there are things which you can do to help you be more efficient and productive once you have the diagnosis.
I wouldn't mention possible accomodations or anything that would give them reason to believe they will have to be responsible in any way.
My opinion of a civil service position is that they will have to be more considerate of a handicapping situation than anyone in the private sector would. Imagine how it would look to have a lawsuit for discrimination against a public agency.
Remember, this is my opinion. I would take into account what everyone has to say before I made a decision. There may be someone here who has had that experience.
These all sound like great ideas. But right now, my house is a MESS, and has been for YEARS. I haven't folded laundry since early this year, and getting organized will be a mission on the scale of going to Mars. 
All I really want is about 2 weeks OFF!!! To rest, to regroup, and to reorganize. Unfortunately, my boss has said since July of this year that we will have NO LEAVE approved for anything other than sickness or death.
I hate him.
What always helps me is if you sleep with you boss. Ofcourse I don't havea boss so I just sleep with my wife.
Try it, it might work.
I'm glad you're feeling better about this whole thing taritac! It always seems like everything we come up against is THE crisis that will topple us. Part of that loop we make when thinking of the worst.
Eventually - we get proven wrong. You will too - I think we've all seen that employers are terrified of being sued for being seen as discriminatory.
But if you continue to feel fear in a job where you feel the axe is always coming down I would suggest that maybe your little voice (the good one not the ADHD one) might be sending a message that you should look for more comfortable employment where you can grow not feel the urge to cower.
You have great skills and the ability to do whatever you wish. Take the time now to harness it!!
[quote]What always helps me is if you sleep with you boss. [/quote]
Yeah. I'm thinking about being my own boss, so that would totally work out.
Thanks for all the advice! I realize I'm going to have to try a combination of being more organized, and getting some accomodations. I'm starting to come out of my exhaustion and depression that has overwhelmed and paralyzed me the last couple of months. I simply feel better, although I still haven't figured out what in the hell I'm going to do. This combination of sympathy and ass-kicking from you and others is helping.
[QUOTE=taritac]I told her about having ADD, but she seemed a little unsympathetic. (my psychologist's appointment is next week).She also told me that I have to get my act together or else the next step will be suspending, then firing me. 
[/QUOTE]
You have established the fact that you suspect that you have ADHD and are being tested for it. She then informed you that you have to get your act together or be fired. She didn't seem to care about the ADHD issue, but you have a legal right to simple accoms from them to help you do the job once you are diagnosed.
I would get the diagnosis, inform her in writing (keeping a copy for yourself) of the diagnosis and what steps you are taking to make yourself more able to do your job, including taking meds if that is what you choose to do.
Once you have established that you have a legal disability and that you are doing what you can to overcome that handicap, you will be in a much stronger position to fight termination if it should come to that.
Make sure you follow all the advice as to how to get control of your life and schedule to the best of your ability. Keep a record of everything you are trying to do. You want to be able to prove that you are doing everything in your power to overcome your weaknesses.
If it ever comes down to court, you will be in an excellent position to defend yourself and prove that you did not try to use the ADHD as an excuse, but used the diagnosis to try to help you find ways to be a better employee.
You have done all you can do for now.
What you disclose in a conversation with an EAP provider is not typically conveyed back to your employer, unless you sign a release. They are mental health practitioners and are covered by the same confidentiality laws as other health providers (in the US, anyway). If you have decided that disclosure is the route you want to take, I suggest you talk directly with your employer. Think about what would constitute a "reasonable accommodation" and definitively request it -- maybe a modified work schedule (15 minutes cushion for arrival time, perhaps)? Maybe a call from a wake-up service every morning? Legally, you do not have to spell out exactly what your disability is (though you may choose to do so). But you do need to ask for accommodations, otherwise your lateness might be seen simply as insubordination. Lateness in itself isn't a disability. See http://www.eeoc.gov/policy/docs/accommodation.html for more info. Good luck.Taritac.
Your going to have to do this. And if you can't do this now, 2 weeks won't make any difference.
You need to get a list, and just write down simple things for you to do that you can accomplish in a hour or two.
you also have not told us if there are others in your household. recruit them to help.
Your going to have to put your clothes in your pc chair and your shoes there as well. so you can grab your clothes, and throw them on in the bathroom, and then come out and sit down to put your shoes on. then have a stand or stool nearby with your trinkets/meds/purse/cell/keys/whathaveyou, and have it all right there, that way you don't forget it.
don't think I have plenty of time. start thinking, I am late, even when you get up. I am late must hurry. Keep coats and all right where you need it.
You can do this. I did it, and I am so unorganized it is not funny.
You have to retrain yourself to not let things overwhelm you, or distract.
It is not that hard, just do baby steps. it will all come to you.
When you go to your appt. Your going to be told this anyway.
All you have to do is write a note and put it on your mirror, and other places to remind you to get going.
And above all else, stop sitting up and go to bed at night.
We ad/hd'ers are terrible night owls, even when up all day.
you need sleep. Please, get some.
bugzappers38666.7553587963
[quote]CHAOS - Cant Have Anyone Over Syndrome[/quote]
Ha! 
That is funny as heck! And SOOO true in my case. I have taken to visiting with friends who drop by on the porch. My house is just bad.
Anyway, I had my EAP appointment today. I'm not sure how it went. I told her about having ADD, but she seemed a little unsympathetic. She gave me a couple of tips she wants me to try (jumping in the shower before I even open my eyes, getting an automatic coffee maker to help wake me up, laying out my clothes for the next day as soon as I get home), and we'll have a follow up visit in a couple of weeks.
Her tips and the tips you all have given me sound like things that will definitely help, but I tried to impress upon her the fact that I NEED TIME OFF!! I don't think she understands the magnitude of my disorganization and that I really don't even know where to begin when it comes to cleaning. She said that I should look into the Family and Medical Leave Act to see if I can get time off. I guess I have to get a note from a doctor recommending it (my psychologist's appointment is next week).
She also told me that I have to get my act together or else the next step will be suspending, then firing me.