Clarity and now what? | ADHD Information
I had the same worry - now that I'm not gone off to planet ADHD all the time - what do I look at so as not to seem like Zombie Glen? Then it all fit into place - look at people!
I now look at people - in the eyes if you can believe that! I look - and if they see me I smile big. 9 out of 10 smile back and it's not a grimacing "smile so the nice big wierd man doesn't get you" smile - but a kind smile that shows they see my intent is good!
I look at people - and now I see they are all like us. I see happy, sad, hurting, flirting, passion, and even other ADHDers from their 100 yard stare.
It does take getting used to. But frankly I like it.
Ok, here is an interesting delemna... I have been inattentive for most of my life.. when walking around in public I usually had my head down looking at the ground so that I wouldnt um "wake up" and see someone looking at me in horror wondering why I was staring so intensely at them.. (yes, it has happened!)
Now, I am much more aware of my surroundings when walking around.. I dont "zone" like I used to, so I am actually holding my head up when I walk.. I can actually consciously make my self not daydream while I am walking the halls at my school..
So here is the question: What the heck do you do with your eyes???
I am very serious with this question!! Do I look straight ahead.. at the wall? I don't know where to look!! and I kinda feel a bit uncomfortable!! I just keep looking all over the place trying to keep from reverting back to daydreaming.. that would be the comfort zone.. and I want to break away from that!
Any ideas???
Sherry
Dark sunglasses
no flipping idea sherry --- i'd look down and think important thoughts and stuff or perhaps just zip around all the time, busy, busy, busy so you don't have time to sit still and look at anything and can develop i am too busy don't bother me look. or develop a friendly smile type look that says 'i am alert, noticing, but approachable'.
otherwise i gotta go with the sunglasses --- but then they could just be conducive to going back to daydreaming.
you will have to think of "things to do" as you are walking and it will give you that purposeful, striding ahead, career-woman of the world look. ???????
chjones,
that's it!! How intuitive of you
Thats what I'm trying to convey... a happy career woman who is alert, approachable and not looking like some angry woman staring at the floor deep in thought.
I have been told that I seem unapproachable and unfriendly, but once I get to talking to someone, they realize that it is not the case.
Since treatment, I can hold my head up, smile, greet people, but I just feel so dang uncomfortable!! I don't know the social norm, because I have never had my head in the real world... Never realized this would be a problem.. but it is, I guess it's a good problem to have tho
Sherry
it's probably just force of habit that you feel uncomfortable. all those years of when someone approached you and the conversation got awkward or horribly misunderstood might have left a lingering semi-fear of interaction.now all you have to remember is that people aren't scary. interaction isn't scary, it's pleasant even on a superficial level. if someone comes up to you and talks to you - that's great... you will know what to say, how to say it, be reassuring without being misunderstood et voila! you have developed the kindly, approachable, alert look...
it's all just confidence.
good luck.
cj
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