Confusing the issue - Opinions...ack | ADHD Information

I have also discovered that every website I go to says something a little bit different about ADHD. No wonder my physician is so skeptical about it.

Wow, alot of your rants sounds like things I go through as well. Here are a few more things.

I can't explain myself clearly. When someone asks me a question, I can spend about five minutes trying to answer it and then realize that I haven't actually answered it, but spent five minutes talking in circles.

I can't process information especially quickly. Usually when someone tells me a joke, I laugh a few minutes later when I finally think about it.

I can't pay attention no matter how hard I try. Even when I look directly at the person talking to me, I still can't tell you exactly what they said right after they finish. It's taken me about ten minutes to write this post because I'm thinking about a dozen different things at the same time.

I think my coworkers think I am an eccentric flake. My boss told me the other night that they wouldn't love me as much if I was normal.

The best part is when I talked to my physician about ADD, he said nothing about symptoms or anything like that. He just said that alot of times college students will bum a Ritalin off of someone they know, discover that it makes them more organized, and try to get a prescription from their doctor! But, he did refer me to a psychiatrist.

Hmmm

  (warning, fustration rant.....LOL, but it felt good to release a bit)  

 

      In my effort to try and understand ADD, I have come to the conclusion that there is a definet swaying in opinion on what is and what is not ADD. I read some books, and they say this this and that, I read another, and it says differnt things, and alas I read another and I get another impression.

This is tough..

    Some of the things I noticed so far...

1, Some doctors / experts seem to be under the impression that many people claim to have ADD to cover up charicter flaws, like laziness, sloppyness, or are marking symptoms that really are not there, and are in fact normal, but just Lazy sloppy idiots who need an excuse for being so. (not there exact words, LOL) And these people give the people who have the disorder an unfair false sense on how many struggle.

2. Some doctors/ experts seem to feel that unless you are peeling the wallpaper off, abusive to your spouse, throw things around the room, climb the walls, fly off into uncontrolled rages, or have been arrested or a problem child or adult all your life your not ADD.

3. Many come out and say that the problem is that there isn't many experts, and unless you go through some intense testing, you shouldn't even play with the term, as it is impossible to self diagnose. (so how do you know you need testing at all)

 

     This just makes my head spin.  I do not peel the wallpaper off the walls, I was never arrested and never have been a troublemaker and have always been respectful when I could. I got through school with passing grades for the most part, and from what I remember I was always daydreamy loner type. I struggle at my job, and I want help and answers on why I can't do the things others seem to do with ease.

     I seem to miss all the distructive hyper parts of ADD, but to me, there is one term that is missing from all these books..

         I Can't.... not wont, but Can't as in not able too..

I Can't  seem to organize now matter the amount of energy I put in, its not that I won't try, I try constantly,  its that my mind can't for some reason without extreme energy and visiual clues, and everything I try seems to fail. I lay awake at night trying to figure out ways to organize better, its hopeless.

I Can't remember crap if I am distracted by an interuption, if someone interupts a conversation I was having with someone, I totally forget what I was just talking about a second before and have to be reminded again to come back to them, very embarassing. NOt only that, I forget thier name too sometimes, yikes, or something that was just told to me I need repeated to start the process again. Yet others don't have to do this irritating step.

I Can't seem to finish stuff I started, Not that I wont try, I will try very hard. but if you interupt me in process I am done for. Stuff that last for hours are hard to complete, things that take days to achieve are a wash often, I don't even try to think of anything that will go past a year, its almost infathomable.

I can't seem to keep my mouth shut, I interupt people all the time, I crash on conversations, and I answer questions before they are finished. I tell people personal things about myself that I shouldn't, then hate myself later, beating myself up and call myself stupid for doing it (like now, but thats okay, its a venting forum LOL) THis is not something I can control, I have tried, its really hard and takes enourmous effort.

I Can't seem to get a grip whats wrong with me, I just know that something is. There is some reason I can't do all these things and other can...bah..I have known this since I was little, but couldn't express it.

To me there is Can't and wont, is someone just wont try another way, then I can see they are dodging. But if someone is trying very hard to improve, I mean making huge gut wrenching effort, only to spin the wheels, to me thats legit problem.

Why do people who have ADD have to have a history of woe, Can't a ADD person have a history of struggle, light on the woe.

 

OKay sorry, was venting...

What is the one book I should be going by? its not helping shopping around, its just confusing me.

What was the best ADHD book you ever read?

There are things that don't make sense too, my doctor who treats me for depression told me that my wellburtin is often used for ADD. I told him that made sence, because if I miss my morning dose, I know it, I get all fuddled. He mentioned missing one daily dose shouldn't matter, it works over time. Hmmm I swear I get all fuddled, its harded to do things. I don't get sad, just confused and distracted easier. I can't be imagining this, can I ?

 

OKay you were all really kind to listen lol, :)

 

 

 

 

Well I wouldent say to yourself you can't.  I have adhd and I know there is noting that I can't do its just some things are a lot easier then others. For me I have to be doing ULTRA high stress things all the time if im not I get too destracted and board and will end up making little paper balls for an hour. (You don't know how many classes I sat through trying to pay attention and the next thing I know its the end of the class and all i have is ripped up paper.) So I make sure everything in my life that I deside to do is either exedingly hard or exedingly intresting. The trick is picking things you can do easier in life it makes things a lot better. People your whole life tell you you can be what ever you want but thats not true. When you see your limitations and know what you can and can't do well you will be a lot happier.

You know at least im smart. I feal a lot more sorry for the stupid people in life who dream big but you know that there is no way they will ever live up to their dream.

Dave,

With number 2, I think that's where doctors confuse ADD with bi-polar. I know a couple people with ADHD, some severe and I don't know anyone who is doing that.

I would agree with number 1, that some people self-diagnose ADD when they don't have it.  Which is very frusturating.

I have a history of woe, just like you. I'm trying to solve the problem and am spinning my wheels. Will medication help? I certainly hope so.

Cheekydeeky

 

Dave,

The key to ADD-INATTENTIVE is the "can't vs won't" in my opinion. When you can't get through something or understand or remember what is being said and you are really trying, the neurons in your brain are misfiring. When you won't, it is entirely different than can't.

 Many people do not understand this. They see you sit and do nothing for minutes or hours, then suddenly at the last minute you go into overdrive and get through the whole thing faster than they could. This makes them think you could have in the first place. Actually, it is that you went into hyperfocus mode where everything clicked and suddenly it was easy. You didn't say, but I bet that happens to you at times. That is why something extremely interesting or very difficult seems to be easier to get through. We learn to subconciously put ourselves into hyperfocus.

Impulsivity and hyperactivity work much the same way. The thing which makes it confusing for many is that there are so many degrees of severity both between individuals who have it and between the different aspects of it in one person.

There are also co-morbids such as short term or long term memory problems, ODD, bi-polar, OCD, etc. which may confuse the diagnosis.

From what you said, I would guess (that's all I can do as I am not qualified to do anything else) that you are ADD-IN. If you haven't checked out the questionaire at www.brainplace.org yet, go do that. Dr. Amen's research is considered controversial but everything I've read so far on other web sites seem to point to most of his research being valid. There are 3 known types which are definitely valid. It is the other 2 he lists which are controversial. Those both are still sub-parts of the other three, so if it comes out that you are probably ADD/ADHD and should seek a diagnosis, you can be comfortable enough with that to seek a psych. for diagnosis.

We all share your frustration here. Right now in school my son's teachers can't seem to grasp the fact that he is not just doing nothing because he needs to learn to force himself to pay attention. They see him accomplish a lot and do it well at times, therefore feel justified in punishing him when he doesn't. I wish there was a way we could make every normal person experience what it is like to have ADD or ADHD for a month. If we could do that, there would never be doubt cast on the validity of ADHD again and strides would be made in finding ways to make life easier for us.

I better get off my favorite soap box now!        Barb

Hey Dave,

I know what you mean by "can't". Not many things are more frustrating than trying twice as hard as everyone else and still have people tell you that you "just need to try". 

Wish I had a dollar for every time I heard things like "you just need to apply yourself", "you always take the easy route", "you are never willing to put out the effort", "sometimes you have to actually try a little bit", "you just don't want it badly enough", "you could do it if you really cared about me".

But I am beginning the believe two things about the "can't" if you really do have ADD:

#1 - It is not necessarily that you cannot do something (like get organized), but that people with ADD usually cannot do it using the standard methods that everyone else uses. But there are strategies that make more sense for people with ADD minds.

#2 - Sometimes we drive ourselves crazy trying to replicate certain actions or results that other people achieve, but for no reason other than the fact that other people do things that way. I work in the tech sector and EVERYONE uses Palm Pilots and other electronic gadgets for organization, taking notes, etc. I have tried and failed miserably at this for the last four years. But finally an ADD coach told me that I need something more visual than that little tiny screen, so I went back to large paper weekly calendar and a legal pad for taking notes. I was using the electronic gadgets because everyone else was. But I need to use what works for me.

You should be diagnosed by someone who understands ADD to make sure your problem is not being caused by something else. If it indeed is ADD, there are several helpful medications. A knowledgeable ADD coach is helpful (but I pretty expensive). I also so found a pretty good book called: “ADD-friendly Ways to Organize Your Life” by Judith Kolberg and Kathleen Nadeau.

HANG IN THERE! You are not alone.

Dave,

The symptoms you describe sound exactly like how I feel. Here in the UK we have to wait several months to see anyone, and then when we do get seen, we get a 15 minute appointment. I have been advised that going private won't speed things up much as they will only refer me back to my GP (family doctor?).

I had a previous bipolar manic episode in 1997, so the easiest thing for them is to give me something to calm me down (Olanzapine / Zyprexa 5mg), but that has just made me feel really tired, and lately quite depressed (don't know if that's caused by the medication or other factors). So I've tried not taking it tonight, but now I can't sleep. Maybe that in itself is showing bipolar symptoms, but all the stuff about concentration and organisation I completely relate to. It has been suggested that bipolar symptoms need to be taken out of the equation to diagnose ADD, but what if the ADD caused the original bipolar episode and is causing mood fluctuations now?

 

 

Dave, you are a genious!  You have hit it on the nose what I have been trying to sumerize since I was diagnosed! My S/O keeps telling me to ignore the TV while typing up papers, reports, etc but I can't! It's not that I won't (god how I want to) but I just CANT! It's like someone else is steering the car. I WANT to drive, I just don' t have the steering wheel...

I Can't keep my damn mouth shut either. I had a quick presentation that was only supposed to last 1/2 and hour fo rhte HR director and Nurse manager at my work. Yeah.. it lasted 45 minutes and to beat the band I was 15 minutes late because

I Can't be on time to save my life because

I Can't manage my time (or go to bed at a reasonable hour).

I absolutely hate the fact that I go somewhere and say something stupid and I can't stand myself after the fact either. I have the fantastic ability to punnish myself for hours after a conversation because I opened my big fat mouth.

And to make matters worse these "experts" (if you can write up a study that you planned and carried out, you just don't have ADD and can not really be an expert) have the entire world thinking that ADD is just an excuse for lazyness.

The worst part is I know what's wrong with me and (although medication helps)

I Can't fix it.

Which reminds me of a funny story... Anyone seen the movie Cabin Fever? If you haven't, don't. We were haveing a small get together at our house that was dubbed by me "bad movie, cheap beer night". I have a knack of saying one really witty comment out of about 20 or so. For those who have had the unfortunate expirence of seeing this movie there is a shot of a teacup (the water to the cabin has some deadly flesh eating organism which no one realises until the very end). Anyway this shot of the tea cup lasts for like 20 seconds with some cheezy jaws-like music going on in the background. One of our friends quips' "oooooh.... tea cup!" and I said "scary teacup"... Everyone laughed really hard.

Hmmmm... not as funny as I thought in writing. I guess you had to be there. I would take this paragraph out if this were any other forum but: 1) typing my letters in the correct order is a huge task this evening and that last paragraph took a good 10 minutes to write. I have invested too much work to delete it and 2) This is an ADD forum if you guys don't understand, god knows who will.