to tell or not to tell | ADHD Information

saphiremoon,

   Knowledge is power.

   Do you know what antidepressant she's taking ? If you find out, I can give you a whole pile of info on that particular drug.

   Then if she starts getting judgemental, you can gently prove that you know far more about her drug than she does. LOL.

   And then ask hubby to keep your medical stuff CONFIDENTIAL so that you are only sharing it with him, your doctor and a whole bunch of people on the internet.

 

I see nothing wrong with keeping it to yourself.

I didn't tell my mother, not because she doesn't believe it's a real
problem, etc., but because she is so wrapped up in my brother's
problems she tends to minimize everyone else's. I didn't want to deal with
her telling me I'm making a mountain out of a molehill or whatever.

Of course, my dad forgot I asked him not to tell my mom, and he
mentioned it to her. *sigh*

There are a number of people in my family who don't know my dx - in
fact, most of them don't. It's sort of a need-to-know thing, and most
people just don't need to know.

I wonder if you present it to your husband that way - just that you don't
want to have to deal with questions & whatnot from people, so you don't
want much of *anyone* to know, it'll go over better than saying, "I don't
want your mother to know."

She brings up a valid problem - you want her to go whine at her MIL about taking anti-depressants? What kind of help is that? Pathetic.

Look - sapphiremoon.

It's very common for people to get into the I don't have a problem - everyone else does thing.  She is chronically depressed - but she won't admit it even while being medicated.

Best thing I can recommend? Don't worry too much about telling anyone right now about your meds.  Let them work (do go to therapy - at least monthly and make sure you go weekly at first to your physician until you know the meds are doing ok).  After you improve where you and people around you can tell - then I'd mention it!!

Now if husband calls and says "wow you sound so together what's going on?" - then you might want to 'fess up.

This is a lot like trying to lose weight or quit smoking.  Sometimes by telling everyone it ends up where they subconsciously sabotage your improvement because they really would like to have one over you.  It happens and I dont' think they mean to but they do.  Just think carefully before you spill the beans.

thanks for all the great advice, i did talk to my husband and he said he will support any decission i make on who to tell or not to tell and that it was not up to him who knew i was the one diganosed not him, as for what my mother in law is on for meds as far as i know unless it has changed lexapro and paxel, she also thinks that it is ok to just get meds from your dr and not get any theripy ?! i do have a good relationship with her, but she can be very judgemental at times so i think this one will stay with me for a while thanks again everybody saphiremoon

hi everyone,

i was diagnosed about 2 weeks ago and have been on adderall xr 10 mg for about a week now (and wondering why my house is still a mess and i am still not getting anything done) i have told my husband who is in iraq right( now we talk on line about once a week, )he has been very supportive reading what he can checking to see if i am going to my dr visits etc, i have told my parents and they have been ok with it, but i am not sure if i should tell my mother in law or not she is one of those who thinks adhd is over diagnosed some people are just lazy by nature i get along well with her but i know if i tell her what meds i am on i will get an ear full she is a nurse and she her self takes meds for depresson, she knows i was having tests done but i told her it was to check to see if i was on the right anti depression meds i dont know what to do i know my husband trusts her and relys on her for advise but she can be very judgemental some times, i will be going to spend thanksgivng with her and her family, any advice??

saphiremoon

It seems a bit hypocritical of her to have the opinions she does at ADHD since she takes meds for depression herself.  I don't blame you for not wanting to tell her.  You might want to tell your husband that you think it would be best to keep it quiet for now and deal with it through your on dr because you feel confused enough right now.  Surely he has heard his mother's opinion and will understand. don't tell my mother is the same way.