Learnt behaviour? | ADHD Information

Since I've been diagnosed I've been watching my daughter a little closer for signs that she may also have ADHD. She's three so I suppose she has trait anyway that goes with her age.

I'm more wondering if her behaviour is a learnt behaviour as in a reflection of my own as I'm quite often told I'm not you run of the mill mum cos I find it funny when she accidently gets the giggles and her drink comes out her nose or when she comes to me with such a look of dread when she's made a mess in the loungeroom with her chocolate etc.

My mum tells me I need a better routine for her but how can I teach her to stick to a routine when I can't??

I'm dreading her growing out of me. That sounds so strange even to me

Luckily my best friend also is in the ADHD clan so I'll aways have her to go hunting faeries with and now I've found all of you too

It sounds like you've got a wonderful relationship with her. Maybe you shouldn't worry so much.

My husband's lovely and just says I'm not a domesticated creature and I like that description just fineIm a chronic procrastinator also which is why my house is always a mess, there are always dishes in the sink and every project I've ever started is still waiting to be finished. I've been writing a story for 15 years, I'm sure it will be a master piece someday.

I don't know wether my ADHD enriches my daughters life to some degree, I think it does, afterall how many mother's go hunting for faeries at the local park or sit painting in the lounge room of all places.

My mum thinks I'm setting a bad example with some of the things I do with my little person like once a week we have naughty lunch day where she gets to have whatever she wants, be it McDonalds, icecream, potato chip sandwich etc I think it's great cos I get to eat junk for the day too

Having ADHD and having kids is great, I'm kinda on the same wave length as she is. It's going to really suck when she grows up and I start being told she's too big to play games with her mum anymore

I didn't have to be told...my stepson that I've raised from one year old to 12, now only looks me up when he's bored and can't find his 4 year older brother & has no friends around to play with.   Believe me...it hurts....makes ya' wanna' shrink 'em back down sometimes!

Geez, Peita, you are voicing the same fears that I have about having kids. I don't know what the answer is. Thinking back over my childhood, I realize that I am not as functional as I could be because I was coddled by parents, older sister, and peers who always looked out for me. Cleaning, cooking, balancing the checkbook-- serious chores for any ADDer, are things that others took greater responsibility for than me. I don't really blame them-- it would take me hours to clean the kitchen or do other chores, so it just makes sense for someone else to do it instead. Or I would procrastinate so much on these chores that I would get in trouble. Getting in trouble became so constant for me that I learned to live with it. It was inevitable that I would forget the time or procrastinate, and I'd get in trouble. I started not to bother to defend myself, even when I wasn't the perpetrator of some household crime.

Anyway, that wasn't very helpful. I'm sleepy and ramble-typing. 

I must admit we do have alot of fun together and I seem to attract kids. I think thats where I do worry that in understanding my daughters frustrations and allowing her to show her emotions(i was discouraged from being TOO excitable and was never allowed to be angry) that she will grow up without enough discipline and that when she gets to school she wont understand why her teachers wont listen like her mum does??

Maybe I do worry too much. Hee hee, I do I suffer with anxiety too

Don't worry Peita - it's obvious to most that ADHD has a very genetic component.  It's better that you know you have ADHD - so you will not deny help or support to her when needed.  Besides - who better to not flip out when she does those lovely things she does than you? 

I know that with kids I ended up adversarial - but I never had any of my own so I think that would have made a difference.  But after working on myself I find myself very sympathetic of their hopes and fears and more likely to be on their side than against it.

You are born to ADHD - not built into it.  Quit worrying about that there are plenty of real worries in the world already.

     I love my two kids and they love me! It's really nice to be able to relate to your kids and as long as they're treated with care and respect, they can become anything they want to be, adhd or not! The real plus is all their friends saying " I wish I had your dad"!