Ok, my daughter is 15 and diagnosed ADHD. No combination of stimulants/anti-depressants have helped her with impulse control. They help her moods, they help her hyperactivity, but she has sleep problems and nothing has helped her impulse control. Bipolar runs in my family. Spoke with her psychiatrist today about the possibility of bipolar and the issues with impulse control. We were told that the only thing that could help her impulse control would be therapy, that it was very rare for an individual to not be able to control impulses. I am really tired of the run around and made an appointment with a neuropsych (can't get the initial consult until next month with testing to come 2-3 months later) and have an appointment next month with social worker who supposedly specializes with ASD to rule that out as well. As for the impulse control, my dd just got a lecture on how she needs to get control of herself or else it will lead to problems with the law. NO KIDDING! That is why we were talking about it. The frustrating thing about it is that it is not easy for dd to admit this stuff, and today she finally did and only got a lecture about how someday she might find herself in front of a judge if she didn't control herself! It was not easy for dd to admit that she CAN'T control herself. ??????
So frustrated. Sorry if this doesn't make sense. My question is, has anyone heard of counseling helping impulse control issues? The problem we are having is that she knows right from wrong, but doesn't think of the consequences BEFORE she does it. Afterwards, she is overcome with grief because she did something wrong! It isn't like she is doing to be defiant or oppositional. AGH!
I am so tired of dealing with so called professionals who are "experts" that don't listen!
Hello,
I am 23, bipolar and ADHD. I'll tell you, I have tried a lot in my life to control my impulses, but I just dont know if it is possible. I dont even realize what I am doing a lot of times until it is too late.
It has taken years for me to teach myself to accept my impulses and obsessions as just that, my head. I have gotten in a lot of trouble in my past, and I am jsut learning how to do this stuff now. I first had to recognize what was rational thinking and what was not, and admit to myself that when I get like that I am not myself, and I am not thinking rationally. ONce i realized this I had to laugh at myself, because at the time, I really think whatever I am about to do makes sence. Then I had to become aware of it when I was about to act out. At first I would realize, but still not be able to do anything about it... the urge was way to strong. But then, after telling everyone I know, I found people that told me to call them when I feel like that, and to JUST NOT LISTEN TO MY HEAD! I make myself go inside, make myself draw, call people, and make myself get in bed. It is really hard, but I dont end up with warrents or other horrible reprucussions. This is without meds. (I figured this stuff out with the help of a lot of peole who I trust and know love me. -friends, parents)
With meds, Depakote, and Lexapro work great for me for bipolar, I dont really have a horible problem with my impulses. I actually felt really good when I was on these. It is just staying on that is the problem.
Hope I was some help, or at least some insight into your daughter. JUst to let you know, people getting mad at me and yelling at me never did anything but get me more angry and frustrated. I always thought there was something seriously wrong with me because I couldn't control myself- I was such a nice girl that did bad things. I have never felt like anyone understood.
Good, I am so happy that i could help some. That is really cool that she opend up with her doctor (that is what you said, right?) For me, getting honest about it is really hard too. words dont come easy for me, and it is a very frustrating disorder. There are a few reasons why I it is difficult for me to take my meds. Not sure if these are because of the bipolar, or my irresponsibility though. Here are the reasons, I have used them all:
I forget to take them every day. I hate taking them, and I dont want to be on medacine. I want to be fine. When I start feeling better, I tend to think I no longer need them. I think I am all better, not realizing that I feel better becasue of the medacine. If I miss/forget a doctors appointment I feel guilty, and dont want to go back because I dont want the doctor to be mad at me. (silly) $. Even though my mom says she will give me the money, I would rather not take hers, and a lot of times I cant afford the appointment fee or prescription price. (college student)
Theresa,
Thank you! That is some help and it sounds so much like her in many ways. She doesn't think anyone understands her and is so reluctant to talk to anyone about it. She has a very hard time expressing herself and getting across what she is trying to say. That is why I thought it would be such a break through that she spoke with her doctor about it. That was a huge step in the right direction and now I fear that she will put up a wall with this doctor and tune her out even if the doctor is right about something. I am thinking of changing doctors but I don't want to give her the idea that she can just change doctors because she doesn't like a few things the doctor said. ??????
Not to be nosy, just curious trying to gain some insight into bipolar....you said it was difficult staying on the meds that helped you. Why is that? Side effects or just not wanting to take them? It is ok if you don't want to answer, I understand. I'm just trying to gain some insight into things that she can't always communicate. A lot times when I ask her questions is "I don't know."
I have heard my daughter say some of those same things. My brother and sister are both bipolar and this is common with them also. It took my brother to hit rock bottom and become suicidal to get his attention. He has taken his meds regularly for nearly 20 years now and is doing great. My sister still doesn't want to admit she has a problem and she is 50 years old. I am so sorry you are going through all of that, but I really do appreciate your input and insight. I also appreciate the fact that you are so willing to talk about it. Thank you! I wish you all the best!Island Mama,
Yes I've hear that the counseling works. It did for us and our son. What it took was getting him to realize what he was feeling when we started to see him lose control. We got him to figure out what his heart felt like and his stomach, his head, his ears, his eyes. Everything about him we got him to tune into how he was feeling and to talk about it. We then figured out what needed to be done at the time to get him to calm down and not be so impulsive. Mind you he is 8 years old and can tell me when he's having problems. He puts himself to bed and will tell me now when he needs his alone time. It took about a year of ALOT of work to get him to this point, but it's been well worth the effort.