ADHD diagnosis? | ADHD Information

I'm a new member and just found this site earlier in the week. I have been reading and printing put from the discipline methods area of this site to read when I'm away from the computer. Anyway my son who is 5.5 is in the process of being evaluated for his behavior by a behavioral therapist, he has one more observation session and my husband and I will meet with the therapist to hear her conclusion, also on Dec. 12 we have a meeting with a psychologist for more evaluation. Anyway when the behavioral therapist met with my husband and I (without my son)We described the situation to her and she said it sounded like ADHD and that is when she put in for a Psychologist referral.

I don't know if he has ADHD but my husband and I are truly worn out. Since he was little everything has been a struggle, everything has been a fight. I just thought some of his behaviour was due to him being a toddler and that is how they behave. Since he is my first son, I just don't know any different. Getting him to go to sleep has always been a nightmare. Although recently it has gotten a little better. Punishments just don't work on him for long and he yells, screams, wines alot when he doesn't get his way. He is also bossy when he gets around other children. He is not bad at school but he does have trouble finishing his work and if is not interested he just won't learn. He's in Kindergarden and is learning his ABC's. My husband and I have worked and worked hard to help him learn and he refuses unless there is a big incentive for him and then he will learn. I spend hours with this child, he never seems to have enough of our attention. And the sad this is when he does get punished he cries "Why don't yall love me anymore and I'm such a bad boy" Well that breaks my heart to hear him say that, he is a good boy but he has trouble focusing and gets hyper and runs around the house, jumps on furniture and does not listen.

I really thought he might grow out of this behaviour, and I work with him consistently. Has anyone dealt with any of this? Did anyone think for a long time that their child was a baby and would grow out of this?

I agree with 3boys a lot!!

Mother's intuition - use it!!! My mother - even though she didn't have a clue what ADHD was seemed to make many of the right decisions using her intuition.  Other's told her to give me up, use severe discipline (seems spanking wasn't enough for some of her peers) and sending me to an institute.  No way! she said!  "I brought you into this world and I'll be here until you can make it on your own" - she often told me.  I just wish I hadnt' given her all that early gray hair.

Check for a local CHADD group near you ( www.chadd.org) and see if there are extra help and groups near you to give you a boost.

Most importantly - stay on your course! You sound like you are doing what's needed and will have a great adult there someday!

Hi Patrisha,

 

I too dealt with many of the same feelings and behaviors that you have with my one twin son.  When he was 3 - and started school at a 'special needs' program because of his prematurity he was speech delayed, and showed other developmental delays-- but his teacher also noticed other non-usual behaviors that warranted my taking him for testing. 

Of course by that time, you're right- you are totally physically and mentally exhausted!  Plus, I remember feeling so guilty because I felt like all I did was yell at him to stop this, don't do that...etc.  He never feared anything, and punishment only led to more tantrums, and rewards didn't really entice him to behave.  He was like a motor that never turned off- just recharged!  On top of all that he was a twin, so I had another child with difficulties and an older son to deal with at the same time.  The good news is there is help.  Don't be afraid of the diagnoses like Glen said....they do survive and thrive!! And whatever choices you make for him- whether its medicine, etc. you will be doing what you as a parent believe to be the right thing.  You will get your life back too.  My son has thrived and made many milestones, although he still struggles with certain aspects of ADHD. 

I am by no means an expert on this subject,  just a mom that is living and adjusting to 1 (maybe 2 boys') that have ADHD/ADD, and just wanted to give you a heartfelt word of encouragement that you are headed in the right direction.  Don't be afraid to ask the doctor questions-- and write them down ahead of time-especially since it is equally hard to concentrate and converse with the doctor when the ADHD child is present. 

 

Hi 3BOYS1MOM,

Thank you so much for the encouragement. I'm also a Hurricane Katrina evacuee. Actually our house is fine but my husband's job relocated us to Fort Worth. It's funny cause the whole summer I kept saying, if his behavior continues after school starts, I will take him to be evaluated by someone, then a week after school starts the hurricane happens. We evacutated to Atlanta and stayed there for a week and then we were in a tiny hotel in Fort Worth for three weeks CRAZINESS I tell you. Now we are in an appartment and that is cumphy. I also have a 7 month old baby. I can already see a huge difference between the baby and my 5.5 year old. The baby is soooooooo much easier and has been since birth.

You know, I just kept thinking that once he gets older I would be able to rationalize and reason with him, but that does not work, he only hears what he wants to hear. And he need so much structure, if his day is not planned out he then he becomes more crazy. Not that my world shouldn't, but my world revolves around my 5.5 year olds life. I truly dedicate my self to my family, but MOST of the time I don't even get to have a three sentence conversation with my hubby until my son goes to bed. I also did not know that other kids didn't wear their parents out till I hung out with other parent of 5 year olds and their kids acted different.

My husbands brother had ADHD and I think he still has it. He is really doing well for himself. He still deals with impulsivaty and a lot of the other issues but he has an awsome job and is really great at it and well respected. The sad thing is that when he was still a teenager I used to think that his ADHD was just an excuse for his behavior. Now I have more knowledge and feel really guilty for thinking that. I talk to him about his ADHD and how he used to act.

Anyway, I just got a notebook for my son to keep a diary of him and his behavior. I hope that will also help the psychologist.Patrisha38677.6504282407

Patrisha

Until you get a psychologist's point of view I wouldn't worry - it's counter-productive.

Some children are natural-born "button pushers".  They are highly intelligent and observe the universe and how to manipulate their environment to get what they desire.  Could be the case - it's possible.

ADHD - one of the major cues is that they cannot seem to alter their behavior to normal behavior for long even when enticed with rewards or punished.  So an ADHD child is likely when asked to stop running around the class to be unable to comply even when offered special treats - or threatened with a "time out".  Maybe they will try (I know I did) - but the urge becomes overwhelming. 

Like any disorder there are levels though - he may be borderline - a lot of what you mention is classic behavior.  A good pediactric psychologist will know after observation and asking you a lot of questions.  You might want to make up a diary of what you see to bring with you if your memory is on and off.

Allergies can also cause hyperkinetic behavior.  Mood swings are a part of it as well as the inability to control them long.  A test should be run - the psych if any good will check on that - as well as thyroid disorder and chemical troubles too.

Even if it is ADHD don't fear.  I am a 38 year old man who has had ADHD all my life.  Even not knowing what it was I survived.  My mom was a rock and that was what got me through.  A good mom is a larger percentage of success than you may think.

Just wait for results from your visit.  Dont let this consume you - your child is healthy and generally happy from what you say - and whatever comes love will find a way.

Glen,

Thanks for the encouragement. That is exactly what I wanted to hear. I just don't know what to expect of the psychologist and I need to know so that he has the correct diagnosis.

Actually his pre-K teacher from last year told me he shows some signs of ADHD through not focusing. She told me to work with him and when I ask him to do some thing and he acts like he did not hear it, to make him repeat it to me. She said her son has ADHD and that he was just like my son. I did not pay too much attention to it because it was pre-K and like I said before I just thought he would grow out of his behaviour.

The wierd thing with him is that he seems to get more crazy the more comfortable he is in a situation. If it is a new place and people, it takes him a few hours or a day or so to warm up and then he is a crazy man, he also has trouble when friends come over, he runs around like he's never been around another kid before and tells them what to do. He just gets really aggravating and it embarrases me. No matter how much I talk to him and explain to him how to behave he just tunes me out.

Anyway thanks for your advice it is very helpful.

Patrisha,

Wow girl- you have alot on your plate.  I am so sorry to hear that you are an evacuee from the hurricane on top of everything else.  Does your son go to pre-school yet??  Sometimes putting ADHD kids into a structured program helps them to improve and you can then have some time back to spend with the baby. 

I thank God every day that where I live we had a very strong early intervention program, and because my twins' were premature, they were monitored and observed in our home by child developmentalist, etc. since they were 3 months old.  Once they turned 3 they were of age to enter into the 'special needs' school where they started working with speech therapist- they were very late talkers- and occupational therapist for their fine/gross motor skills.  They made tremendous strides in the 3 years they were there, plus the program went year round, so they didn't have huge regression problems over the summer. 

Once you get settled back home (hopefully that will happen for you soon) perhaps you should look into something like this.  Especially if he does get a diagnosis of ADHD.   Please know that you and your family will be in my prayers- and don't discount your mother's intuition.....it has been a godsend for me--nobody knows your child better than you do!    Good luck.