After or Before the Holidays? | ADHD Information

DONT CHASE HER

REPLACE HER!!!!!!!!

see dave i write poems 2

oh yea

bring a hot date to xmASS!!!!!!!!

[QUOTE=Davidornado]OMG!...I cracked up during a serious post.

No wonder I'm getting 'vorced...

[/QUOTE]

And I was making cracks on a serious post. Sorry Davie, Guess that's what I do to. You know I luv ya & hate that you are going through this right now.
Sometimes, Life just sucks.
Geez, that wasn't encouraging was it? Let me try again. It's gonna be OK [QUOTE=Davidornado] [QUOTE=rayray812][QUOTE=Davidornado] [QUOTE=Countrygirl] No easy way to do this or get through this - SO
Guard your heart & Check out the Condoms to Go store.[/QUOTE]
OMG!...CG, are you hittin' on me?
I'm old enough to be a gran'pa.
Hey wait, I am a gran'pa.
What're you doing after
Christmas?

[/QUOTE]ask her out for a night of ritalinLA & Viagra, if she survives shes a keeper[/QUOTE]

(ssssshhhhh, I prefer trading for her Adderall)

[/QUOTE]

SSSSHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
[QUOTE=mopw] [QUOTE=Davidornado] [QUOTE=mopw]I'm waiting until after the holidays.
Already looking forward to no cable TV, no cell phone, no food.
But what the hell, it will be only me to torture me.[/QUOTE]
Are you divorcing, too?
яПН [/QUOTE](holds figers up, about an eighth of an inch apart)
This close.[/QUOTE]
Ouch. I know how that feels.
My sincerest wishes for better dishes,
A roof over your head, and insurance to pay for the meds.
Т [QUOTE=rayray812][QUOTE=Davidornado] [QUOTE=Countrygirl] No easy way to do this or get through this - SO
Guard your heart & Check out the Condoms to Go store.[/QUOTE]
OMG!...CG, are you hittin' on me?
I'm old enough to be a gran'pa.
Hey wait, I am a gran'pa.
What're you doing after
Christmas?

[/QUOTE]ask her out for a night of ritalinLA & Viagra, if she survives shes a keeper[/QUOTE]

(ssssshhhhh, I prefer trading for her Adderall)

[QUOTE=annidagostini]David,

I know how you feel about really wanting to love someone. I have found a great guy now. He loves me and he loves me to love him!!! I can pay all the goofy attention to him that I like to do and he still loves me!!

[/QUOTE]
Hey, can I have him?

Oh, forgot I'm not gay.

I'm depressed.

Hmm, that was queer.

Maybe I'm ADHD, or something.

Hey! This sounds like the beginning of a good joke:

Hey, how does one get a prescription for Viagra?
OMG!...We're joking on my serious thread again...

Guess I'm over it now.

Wow, that was easy.

I shoulda done this a long time ago...

Maybe I wouldn't need that viagra...

Oh, gotta find the hot date, first.

Where's RAYRAY when I need advice?

Notice I didn't say "need him"...

For a beer. [QUOTE=Davidornado]OMG!...We're joking on my serious thread again...

Guess I'm over it now.

Wow, that was easy.

I shoulda done this a long time ago...

Maybe I wouldn't need that viagra...

Oh, gotta find the hot date, first.

Where's RAYRAY when I need advice?

Notice I didn't say "need him"...

[/QUOTE]

Still sounds like you're gonna ask him out.

David--you're not moving too far from the children though? Will they live with their mom then?

Nothing wrong with dating if you're sure the relationship is over, but please don't do it in front of the kids. Let them have time to come to grips with the changes in your family. From my own experience as a single mom, I always felt it was best not to involve my kid with who I was dating unless I was sure we had a future. She didn't need or want to meet everyone I dated. So I usually saved my date nights for when she was with her dad or at Grandmas. If it's been 25 yrs since you've dated, go easy on yourself and go SLOW. That girl who seems so great in the first week might look a lot different after a month or two.

mopw,

I like that quote, too. Beauty in the eye of the beholder, right?

Yes, what YOU think is beautiful. You even define the word beautiful.
But find this right and true thing and value it, enjoy it. This is my advice to you to be happy. <smile>
My wife saw a lawyer a/b a divorce about a month ago. I asked her if she thought it would be better to wait until after the holidays for the kids sake. We have two girls left at home, 10 and 15. She didn't finish the conversation due to the ensuing argument, so I assumed we'd wait until after the holidays. Now she's on me so bad, I don't think I can wait until after the holidays.

Any suggestions?
[QUOTE=Davidornado] [QUOTE=mopw]I'm waiting until after the holidays.
Already looking forward to no cable TV, no cell phone, no food.
But what the hell, it will be only me to torture me.[/QUOTE]
Are you divorcing, too?
Т [/QUOTE]

(holds figers up, about an eighth of an inch apart)
This close.
It is art that makes life, makes interest, makes importance, and I know of no substitute for the force and beauty of its process. Henry James

annid, very good quote. I believe it too.
sad that beauty has so little meaning in our society, in (a lot of) our daily lives.

Think about the truth in this quote:

Enjoy what you think is beautiful. This is my advice to you to find happiness. - T. Vertrauen

[QUOTE=rayray812][QUOTE=Davidornado] [QUOTE=Countrygirl] No easy way to do this or get through this - SO
Guard your heart & Check out the Condoms to Go store.[/QUOTE]
OMG!...CG, are you hittin' on me?
I'm old enough to be a gran'pa.
Hey wait, I am a gran'pa.
What're you doing after
Christmas?

[/QUOTE]

ask her out for a night of ritalinLA & Viagra, if she survives shes a keeper

[/QUOTE]

OMG - I'm just trying to keep poor little Davie safe from all the evils in the world. I know he is just an innocent little lamb. And besides I prefer Adderall to Ritalin.

David,

So, there is hope. There is someone out there who will be so happy and grateful for you. Time will help you find her.

Sorry you are having to deal with this. It's hard to make the move. If
you stay or if you leave this will still be recalled as a bad time. If everyone
is walking around as if on egg shells...I think it would be better to make
the split ASAP.

[QUOTE=Davidornado]Hi Lillie,

At least I've still got half my life to live, yet.

[/QUOTE]

Difficult. Whatever you decide, you have friends who will be here to support you.

It's the kids memories I want to protect, in that I don't want them thinking for the rest of their lives that mommie left around Christmas, when it's supposed to be a time for celebration.

Maybe I'll move out right after Thanksgiving, and that will lessen the impact of it being near Christmas. Whenever the papers are finalled won't be significant, then.

Wow, David,

I'm sorry to hear about all of that.. but it looks like its been over for a while, the kids probably know that also, judging by their ages.. Especially the 15 year old.

Is there something extra special you could plan for them Christmas? Could you get part a day or the whole day Christmas eve and maybe take them for your own dinner ? Is "grandma or grandpa" still around? If the past few Xmases havent been so hot, an "adventure christmas" might be fun for them despite their parental break up. --

just some thoughts.. I think you're doing the right thing - leaving after Thanksgiving.

If you both want to enjoy the season together -- maybe by acknowledging and truly feeling the bittersweetness of the end of an era, knowing it's your last Christmas together -- maybe waiting could work. But if she's against it, and there's going to be friction, tension, and arguments, that's how your kids will remember Christmas 2005.

Hey, David! If possible, I would try to wait until after the holidays. You two have been together all these years, you can make it through another month. Just avoid being around her as much as possible. Maybe, spend quality time away from with house with your kids--taking them ice skating, skiing, snow mobiling, etc.

Take care and hang in there.

Hey Wordie,

We can enjoy no thing together. We quit celebrating our wedding anniversary 4 years ago. She called it a joke. She's not done anything for my birthday for a couple years, and let the girls do it all. I have continued to treat these events as normally as possible, but to no avail. I'm afraid these holidays won't be remembered at all, by anyone, as we've already had several bad ones in a row. It's the kids memories I want to protect, in that I don't want them thinking for the rest of their lives that mommie left around Christmas, when it's supposed to be a time for celebration.

Maybe I'll move out right after Thanksgiving, and that will lessen the impact of it being near Christmas. Whenever the papers are finalled won't be significant, then.

Thanks for your input,

Davie
Hi Lillie,

Thanks for the support. That's what I've been trying to do, but she goes looking for me.

I do these things with the kids, like earlier I took dd15 to the mall, and dd10 and I are headed to the park in a few minutes.

Ds23 just walked in the door, too.

Yup. 25.5 years. Half my life. To date. At least I've still got half my life to live, yet.

Davie
David--you're very welcome. We gotta stick together right? I have been down the slippery slope you're on before ( couple times actually!) You can come out of this like the Six Million Dollar Man-better, stronger, faster(or maybe a teensy bit slower in your case might be good). Oops I forgot you never watched TV in the 70's. Well, anyway, there is so much room for growth in these situations. Give yourself 10 minutes a day to wallow in your sadness, then move on to more constructive stuff. Do you have a small voice recorder? Mine was instrumental for my healing--I could bitch and moan and say all my irrational thoughts to it--listen to it back, and then when I was feeling better, I could erase it, and no one had to know my psycho-ness (it beat calling HIM and hanging up). It really helped me vent and process. Just a thought. Happy Turkey day, I gotta go make pies... [QUOTE=Countrygirl] No easy way to do this or get through this - SO
Guard your heart & Check out the Condoms to Go store.[/QUOTE]
OMG!...CG, are you hittin' on me?
I'm old enough to be a gran'pa.
Hey wait, I am a gran'pa.
What're you doing after
Christmas?

OMG!...I cracked up during a serious post.

No wonder I'm getting 'vorced...

Oh, wait a sec, that's what I do.

No easy way to do this or get through this - SO
Guard your heart & Check out the Condoms to Go store.

whoa!! davido!

my heart goes out to you.

all that rejection, the coldness, the nastiness of a torturous long death of a marriage. takes me back. tho i don't really want to go there...

you'll do fine, you'll be great. you'll even reorientate.

you sound sad, and it's o.k. i know sadness really well. it'll pass.

take care my tornado amigo.

Hey, that looks like a tornado.

See how it's breaking things?
[QUOTE=rayray812]an ADD mountain recluse?[/QUOTE]
He is so not ADD he refuses to ride with me when I drive.

He says I tried to kill him in Costa Rica, which made me laugh so hard I almost killed him!

And me, too, btw. Thank God those trucks left just enough room for me to squeeze through between them...
Т [QUOTE=ragurl]David--you're not moving too far from the children though? Will they live with their mom then?[/QUOTE]
Well, I may, and I may not. I've got so many options, I don't know if I won't try them all. My mom offered me her house while she's in Costa Rica for two months, which is only 15 miles away. Problem there is ex always said I was a momma's boy. Which is a load of bull, but I don't want to give her the satisfaction of an I told you so. I had an apartment in Yuma, and in Costa Rica during their respective melon seasons, so I could do that again, but not return to CA every weekend. My nephew got divorced, and offered to let me live with him, too. I like the mountain idea best b/c it's close to skiing, and only 30 minutes from my old house. And who knows, she may go back to Texas where she came from.

She's threatened to keep the kids from me, but that's not CA law. Due to my traveling career, she'll have to have them most of the time. I don't know how it'll work out. Never done this before. That's another reason I stuck around way to pathologically long.

As for dating, I've got to. I was born to love. I love people, and I especially love women. I just wanna love A woman. And have her love me back. I am me, and I have a lot of love to give someone. I'd die not being able to. I've died as it is, I guess. Marriage has really sucked for me. But, guess I'll look to do it again, eh? It's the American way. That way I won't burn in hell, either. hehe.

Т And Anni, and Julia,

Thanks so much for your kind thoughts, words, ideas, and suggestions. Ragurl, you're the best.

So, what're y'all doing after Christmas? hehe....

Sorry, couldn't resist. Maybe it is me, after all...

[QUOTE=annidagostini]Let us know how you are doing.[/QUOTE]
Well, Anni, today I'm doing okay.
Yesterday was terrible.
Who knows what's
in store for
tomorrow?
Hope
is all
I got
now.

David,

I'm so sorry. I went through a divorce during a Christmas time. It sucked. That's all there is to it. I don't think there is a good way to do it.

I wish I could make it better for you. But if you must go through it, I wish you the best. My only advice would be to be honest with your children but don't ever put their mom down when they are around you. No matter what has happened, they don't need to be reminded of the mistakes. It hurts them way too much.

You can't control your spouse, but you can do what is best for your kids. I think that is about all you can do that is positive in this kind of a situation.

So sorry. Let us know how you are doing.

[QUOTE=Davidornado] [QUOTE=Countrygirl] No easy way to do this or get through this - SO
Guard your heart & Check out the Condoms to Go store.[/QUOTE]
OMG!...CG, are you hittin' on me?
I'm old enough to be a gran'pa.
Hey wait, I am a gran'pa.
What're you doing after
Christmas?

[/QUOTE]

ask her out for a night of ritalinLA & Viagra, if she survives shes a keeper

I left late October 2002, right after Saturday overtime at work 2nd shift- drove to California from Georgia ADHD style...plenty of cigarettes & coffee-made record time (one nap for about 5 hours in a hotel after warm bath).

Came home after Feb....same record time- pre requisite- to go with her for holistic counselling with pastor.

Christmas killed me...Stepsons 11 and 15, I picked them navel oranges and shipped them for Christmas with my last .00. I phoned them and cried a bunch. Had to stay long enough to earn $$ to get home.

No fun....yes, I think ADHD fuels many divorces.

I almost wanna' call up ex-wives and let them know what I found out....ADHD

Like the Willie Nelson song..."To all the girls I've loved before....."

Heartaches that'll live in me forever- hindsight....so like I told someone in here- think it was rayray- Be glad at 36yrs. old you know about your ADHD...I didn't.

48 yrs old and saving this 4th marriage, thank God! Nov. 25th is 11th anniversary.

I say just leave. It will be hard no matter what for all but you know it is the right thing and that is what your kids will sense. I think you will have a better christmas if you are not all stressed out by her. Us women...we can really be downright evil.

I am 43 and feel like my best years are ahead of me! It is never to late, your never to young so go for it!

David, Yeah that really sucks. Please no hot dates. Your kids need your strength and stability and believe me they are watching. If breaking up before Christmas means they have to physically move or change schools, maybe good to wait. If it's a matter of your wife leaving the house, maybe ok to go ahead. You know your kids best. Not to give them false hope, but you can tell them you need some time apart. Or if you're sure the divorce will happen you can be honest and tell them you're just not happy together. I agree about maybe trying something different for the holidays. If you can't afford a getaway, maybe start some new traditions--baking cookies, playing games, karioke, whatever--you're creative you come up with something. They might be relieved that the tension is over, even though they are sure to be sad.I'm waiting until after the holidays.
Already looking forward to no cable TV, no cell phone, no food.
But what the hell, it will be only me to torture me.

[QUOTE=Davidornado]My wife saw a lawyer a/b a divorce about a month ago. I asked her if she thought it would be better to wait until after the holidays for the kids sake. We have two girls left at home, 10 and 15. She didn't finish the conversation due to the ensuing argument, so I assumed we'd wait until after the holidays. Now she's on me so bad, I don't think I can wait until after the holidays.

Any suggestions?
[/QUOTE]I bet divorce is very common amongst our people. Yeah, I bet it is.
They love us for it.
Then they leave us b/c of it.
[QUOTE=mopw]I'm waiting until after the holidays.
Already looking forward to no cable TV, no cell phone, no food.
But what the hell, it will be only me to torture me.[/QUOTE]
Are you divorcing, too?
Т Hi Ragurl,

No hot dates. No dates at all. I've forgotten how to date. And yes, you have some good ideas. I'll move out until we sell the house, then she'll have to move, too. I'll probably move out of town. I've a friend up in the mountains, whose wife left him a big house.

Thanks, David

an ADD mountain recluse?