that happens to me too.
i feel sad about it a little bit when it happens, but not for long. i get over it cause i know those guys are boring anyway.
i imagine it happens to me 'cause i'm a little unpredictable. i'm perpetually iconoclastic. i say what i think b4 i think about what i'm saying, & to whom i say it.
ever tell a group of born-again christians that God screwed up by letting lucifer defect? by not seeing it coming? that was a good one. shoulda seen the look on their faces. the silence was as deafening as niagara falls.
it's in my nature to challenge everything. i have only learned to self-edit with much effort and little success.
there's also the non-sequitirs. a little pause for them is light years in my brain. next thing out of my mouth could be 10 steps of free-association later. "where did that come from?" is a common question they ask.
people seem to be very uncomfortable with an unpredictable mind. it breaches all comfort zones.
breach the comfort zone, egos get deflated, the 'shields' need to be diverted-"oh no! we're under attack!", they become the group and you're a threat to the balance of power, the safe status quo.
individuals too. when they get to know us, we're not who they thought we were. unpredictable with minds that are plastic, elastic, fantastic. faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall societal conventions in a single bound. standing for truth, justice, and the adhd way.
my personal kryptonite is the attempt to be normal, sane, consistent, dependable, or predictable.
i do my best to be all those things for the sake of survival in this world, to help my kids. but it often feels like i am carving mount rushmore all by myself. carting all that rock away makes me tired. t-i-d-e tired!
Don't underestimate the power of anxiety to make you *not* be yourself. If you feel that you are not liked, it might change your behavior in subtle ways that are not positive or feel fake. Maybe you shouldn't worry about it if possible.
Respect people's space. If they shrink from you, let them go. If they see their space respected, they'll likely come back, unless of course they have their own social issues.
It's really hard to tell what people's motives are -- you feel excluded, but they may feel like they're just going to lunch (or whatever) with their buddies. For better or worse, most people are indifferent to others. They'll like you fine as long as you don't fart in public or steal their Lean Cuisines from the freezer. They'll like you even better if you ask them about their weekend and let them talk about themselves. If it's friends you're looking for, don't worry about who likes you -- just pay attention to who you like and invite them into your life. You don't gravitate towards those conventional, boring drone-types anyway, do you?I think it is the disruption of the status quo as Seeker said. The Norms expect certain behavior, especially certain behavior from particular age groups..To this I completely relate.
I have one close friend near my age. Most other women my age seeem to be afraid or intimidated by me or I'm just too different. I'ts just weird but women my age usually really bore me and I don't fit in with their strict scheduled lives and tupperware parties.
It used to bother me to be excluded, but now I'm just really glad that I'm not as boring and narrow minded as they are.
There are fun, down to earth, real people out there (and here too). Don't settle for the bla bla... Just be who you are...it's their loss!
bepatient38686.6954976852We all do it, and we feel singled out.